Shuichi clutched his mobile phone, looking at the dozen miniature pictures of the couple glued there. He was so hurt about what Yuki had said. The brat had done everything for the older man. And he had asked just one small thing and Mr. Cold not only bluntly turned him down but even insulted him. Shuichi cried. Yuki has always been mean to him but this time it really hurts, because before, he knew that Yuki was only teasing and this time, he can see on Yuki's face that he is serious, this time, he meant every word he said. Tears flowing down his face continuously. Why is he so cold? Why is he so mean? Shuichi asked himself. He just wanted to share something with the novelist, something or one thing they could have in common. And when he asked the ultimate question, not only Yuki flared up but slammed the door on his face.

"Do you really love me, Yuki?" He asked, looking at those wondrous golden eyes which is now cold as ice.

"I got no time for your stupid games, brat." Yuki said, in reply about his love.

A song. Shuichi had asked if they could write a song together. And Yuki bluntly turned him down and told him the same thing he told him since the first time they had met, "Give it up, brat. You've got zero talent." And stormed out of the room and slammed the door on his face.

Slowly Shuichi got up, he went to his old room, which is now the guest room, walked to the closet got his old tote bag, went in the bedroom they shared for the last couple of years, went to their closet and gathered some clothes, underwear and other stuff he would need. When he finished packing, he walked back to the den, fished out his precious phone and put it on the table. Slowly, without another word or movement to the novelist in the study, without even a note, walked out of the house they had share as a couple.

Yuki stopped typing. He couldn't concentrate. It's so quiet. He is not used to that. He let out a sigh, got up and went to see if the brat is still sulking. He was surprised that the boy isn't there.

Tsk…went to the bedroom to check if he is in bed. The bed is empty. Pissed off now. He picked up the phone, dialed the number he knew by heart. He almost dropped the phone when Shuichi's mobile started ringing in front of him. It kept on ringing until he let it switch to voice mail, "Yuki! Yuki! Yuki! I love you! I love you Yuki! Please leave me a message." The brat shouted excitedly with so much love, with so much warmth. And he disregard those feelings like it's nothing. After all what the younger man had done for him.

Shuichi. Oh, Shuichi. He fell to his knees. What have I done? He asked himself.

Yuki fell asleep on the couch, not realizing that he had laid down. He wanted to call Hiro and asked if Shuichi is there. But Shuichi left his phone. Letting him know he didn't want to be found. Stupid brat. He said to himself and went back to the study to continue working. Fine. He said, slamming the door behind him angrily.

Yuki couldn't determine where the boy had gone if he is coming back or not. His clothes and little possession are gone. All that are left are stuff he hardly use. Like an old, torn jacket, a faded shirt.

In a short span of time, they had made a life together and for the first time in his life, Yuki doesn't know if he can go on without the boy.

The phone rang in his hand, he fumbled with it and almost dropped it.

"Shuichi!" he cried, without even a hello or to ask who it was. Tears streaming down his face.

"Eiri sama?" a female voice asked, it's his editor. "Are you alright?" she asked, concerned.

"No, am not." Yuki replied. "I need to take a leave." Gripping the phone tighter.

"Why?" she asked, concerned. "You have a press conference tomorrow and a book launching next month. Is there something wrong?" she said.

"Something came up, very important. You can have the press conference and the book launch without me. I have three books done that you can pick up today and I just mailed you two more prints. Please help me out on this. I just really need to go." Yuki said, desperately, gasping for air, a whole day without Shuichi, as if he is lacking and needing air.

"Is your health okay, Eiri sama?" his editor asked, worriedly. "I could do all those you asked me but are you okay? You want me to get you and take you to the hospital?"

"I'm okay, thank you for your concern." He replied. I just needed to find my life…my air…my reason for existence. I'm not gonna last without him.

"Okay, please keep in touch." She said.

"I will." Yuki said, and hung up the phone. He just realized something. He can really carry a conversation like any normal person, why can't he have it with his partner in life? Partner? Yes…that's what Shuichi is really in his life. A partner…his better half.

He rushed to the bathroom and took a shower. He packed a couple of shirts and rush out of the house.

Yuki can't be inconspicuous even if he try. He is tall, with golden hair and arresting light eyes. He is always mistaken for a foreigner. But this time Yuki made an effort to disguise himself.

A baseball cap and dark glasses, he changed his appearance, too, wearing a denim jacket and jeans. He looks like his brother, Tatsuha now with golden hair or any younger man hanging out at the café in front of the NG Building.

His eyes was on look out for a pink haired younger man who would be stepping out of the building.

And there he is. Yuki knew that Shuichi won't be staying with Hiro. He also knew that Shuichi won't tell anyone at work that they are having a difficult time. Shuichi stayed in the corner until everyone was gone. Yuki got in his car. He followed the cab that took Shuichi to a modest inn a few blocks from their place. He watched and waited. When Shuichi got his keys from the front desk and was on his way to the elevator. Yuki came out of his hiding place and walked to the front desk.

Shuichi sat down at one of the booths of the hotel, he wasn't in the mood to go out, knowing if he sees their house he might chicken out and go home. He missed Yuki's cooking, he miss going home and sharing a bed with the novelist, he miss looking at Yuki's face, he even miss Yuki yelling at him to shut up. He tossed and turn all night, couldn't sleep. He was thinking that he made a mistake, that Yuki has always been that way, because he is just being himself, being Yuki. He had to make an extra effort to wake up early and be there at the corner of their house so that K wouldn't be suspicious, the blond man was surprise that the boy was up and was already downstairs waiting for him but he didn't say anything, pretended to release the safety lock of his magnum and pointed it at the boy and shoved him in the van.

"Konbanwa, what would you have for this evening, sir?" the waiter asked. Shuichi shot a glance at the voice, and he saw that familiar face.

"Yuki! What are you doing here?" he asked surprised to find his lover in a waiter's uniform, but there's something different about him.

"Pardon me, sir?" the waiter leaned forward, with a quizzical look on his face.

Shuichi stared at the man, he does look so much like Yuki, but his hair is shorter, and his eyes are blue, and on his name plate, it says his name is Alex. He is an American then and he speaks a very good Japanese.

"Ummm….I will have the rice balls and hot tea, please." The boy said, not daring to steal another look at the waiter who looked so much like Yuki.

Shuichi didn't get to eat, he kept glancing up at the handsome waiter who really looked so much liked Yuki. The waiter kept smiling at him every time he caught the boy looking. The waiter even winked at him which made Shuichi blushed.

Shuichi was restless after a meal so he decided to go have a walk to the park. And he was so surprised to find the waiter in his street clothes sitting in one of the benches, a bento box in hand, a cigarette dangling on his mouth. The man nodded at him, so Shuichi decided it's okay to walk over to him.

The man motioned for him to sit down. Shuichi sat down, still staring at the man. This guy is probably Yuki's age, a collage student on a part time job. He dresses different, denim jacket, a white t-shirt, jeans and sneakers. Yuki don't own a regular t-shirt, all he's got in his closet are slacks, dress shirts and turtle neck, he dresses like a young professional which suits his line of work as a renowned novelist. But this American guy who worked at the restaurant of his hotel, is the other version of his lover, laid back, carefree and simple. He is really like Yuki's twin, an American version of Yuki with blue eyes.

"S-Sorry about my outburst at the restaurant awhile ago." He said, blushing.

The man smiled and offered him a cigarette, Shuichi shook his head, "Thank you, I don't smoke."

"It's alright, it happens all the time, they said, I looked liked that playboy and arrogant novelist, Yuki Eiri." Alex said, Shuichi was staring, it's still is hard for him to realized a foreigner who is so good with Japanese like it is his native tongue. He switch words from Japanese to English once in awhile and Shuichi only know a couple of words he hears from Yuki every now and then.

Shuichi's brows furrowed in anger, "Yuki is not a playboy and he is not arrogant!" Shuichi said. Alex chuckled.

"How would you know?" Alex asked.

"Because he is my-" he cut himself short, when he remembered he walked out on Yuki. He bowed his head.

"I know him personally." Shuichi said, quietly, tears were threatening to well up his eyes.

Alex handed him a strawberry drink while he opened a can of beer. "Want to talk about it? My friends kept saying that am a good listener." Alex said, gently, that's another thing, Yuki will die if he says he's gonna listen to you or give you advice and the weirdest of all, Yuki didn't seem to have any friends at all.

Shuichi looked up, and tears started pouring down his face. He wished he could run to Yuki now and tell him he is sorry.

"Yuki is my boyfriend." He said. And Alex didn't say anything, just sat there, looking at him.

"We had a fight over something silly, I wanted to share something with him but, I kept forgetting that Yuki is grumpy when he has a deadline or he had just pulled a three-day all-nighter." Shuichi began.

The boy looked at the man who looked so much like Yuki, he really wish he could talk to Yuki this way, probably there would be less fights and they would be sharing more about each other this way.

"So, where's Mr. Eiri now?" Alex asked, putting a hand on his shoulder, peering at him. Shuichi looked up, and he almost lost himself, thinking it was really Yuki in front of him, but, when he said, Mr. Eiri he almost laugh, Mr. Eiri, haha, Yuki would kill this guy if he calls him that. But what can he do he is American after all.

"Oh, he is probably at home." Shuichi replied.

"He is not looking for you or even worried?" Alex asked, in surprise.

Shuichi was silent, "I don't know. For almost half of our lives, I really don't know what Yuki really feels, to me, or to our relationship. He is not a bad person and I understand that he had been through a lot, it would take him some time to accept me in his life, that I'm here now and I want to stay." Shuichi said, if only he realized that Yuki himself is hearing every thing he had been dying to tell the novelist. "But sometimes I wish he would let me in or tell me what's really on his mind or call me by my real name or tells me he loves me and not just calling me stupid and all those nasty things he calls me whenever we're together." Shuichi said.

Alex let out a sigh, discarding his empty box and beer can at the nearest thrash bin. "Everything will work out fine, All you really need is time to sort things out, Mr. Shindou." Alex said, getting up and stretching.

Shuichi looked up, surprised, "How did you know my name?" he asked.

Alex smiled at him. There….that smile….so much like Yuki when he does smile, it lights up his entire face.

"You signed your name with your room number at the restaurant." Alex said. Shuichi chuckled. Alex extended his hand to Shuichi, "It was a pleasure having this talk with you, Mr. Shindou. My name is Alex, by the way." He said.

Shuichi looked up, and shook his hand. "Thank you Alex kun. You were a big help." Shuichi said.

Shuichi stayed at the hotel for almost a week and he had become friends with that waiter, Alex. He almost completely forgot about Yuki. After work, they would go to the park and talk or just sit there, sharing a quiet moment watching the stars. He only was brought back to reality when the president called him to the office.

"Shindou san, have you any idea where Eiri san went?" he asked the singer, without even bothering to offer him a seat.

Shuichi was surprise, he never thought it would come to this. He wracked his brain trying to think of the best excuse, and he remembered the book launch.

"I-I believe Yuki has a book launch, he is probably busy attending all those functions." Shuichi replied. And that answer seemed to satisfy the president.

"Oh, I see, I had been trying to get a hold of him for almost a week now, no one is answering the phone or the door." Tohma said. Shuichi just nodded absent-mindedly, worried now that something might have happened to Yuki.

He was hesitant to go and check on Yuki, he didn't know what Yuki's reaction would be. So he decided to just call him. Like Tohma said, the phone kept on ringing and ringing. He was getting frantic now, what if Yuki had an accident? What if he had one of those dizzy spells again and he is not there to help him? Tears welled up his eyes, gripping the phone tighter, his knuckles white, his face pale.

"Y-Yuki? Are you there? Please answer the phone, I'm worried about you. Please let me know if you are alright." He asked hopefully but no one answered the phone.

He waited by the park for Alex, he didn't see him at the restaurant. He waited for an hour, the American didn't show up. So he walked back to the hotel and went straight to the front desk and inquired about Alex.

"Alex kun?" the receptionist asked, with a puzzled look on her face. "We don't have a waiter by that name, and yes, no foreign staff here." She said.

Shuichi was shocked, how could that be? They had been seeing each other everyday for the last week, he works at the restaurant. The manager stepped out hearing the conversation.

She smiled at Shuichi, "There was a waiter named Alex, he was hired part-time because one of our staff got an errand, and we needed help but Alex is gone now, our staff already returned back to work so we don't need him anymore." The manager said.

First it was Yuki now it's Alex. He walked sadly back to his room, he's got one more week at the hotel, so he decided to stay and think for awhile before going back home. Everyone noticed the sudden changes in Shuichi.

"Are you alright, Shui? Did that bastard kicked you out of the house again?" Hiro asked.

Shuichi looked at him, "I'm okay, and Yuki is not a bastard! He is a nice person once you get to know him." Shuichi snapped. Hiro was surprised at his best friend's reaction. It must be something really serious. So Hiro just nodded and left him alone.

When Shuichi went back home, he was hesitant to use his key, so he rang the door bell. No answer. It's almost a month since he stayed at the hotel, and Alex had helped him mature and understand his lover better. He frantically dug out the keys out of his pants.

"Yuki, am coming!" he called, barging in the house.

The house was quiet. The kitchen light was open, there was food on the table, a table for two, but Yuki didn't eat, everything is still there. He walked to the bedroom, expecting the worse. Yuki was there, sleeping on the bed. Shuichi let out a big sigh of relief. He tiptoed next to Yuki's side of the bed, he saw that Yuki was clutching something in his hand, it was his mobile phone so he got his message.

He knelt down beside the bed, tears pouring down his face, he missed him. He thought he will never see him again, he promised himself he will not come back here, but he can't. Yuki is his life, he live and breathe because of this man, there's no one or nothing far more important to him right now than this man right here.

Shuichi touched his arm gently, wanting and eager to feel him. Yuki stirred. Shuichi covered his face in fear that Yuki will wake up and Yuki will get mad at him for abandoning him for almost a month.

But instead, he felt himself being lifted up, gentle hands holding him, "Shuichi, welcome home, Shui han." Yuki said, and when Shuichi looked up there were tears on his lover's eyes. And Yuki gathered him in his arms, both of them finally found what they were looking for. Both of them finally gone back where they are supposedly be and when Yuki captured his lips, Shuichi knew that he is finally home.

Later that night, he was watching Yuki sleeping, they had made loved all night, couldn't get enough of each other. And Yuki had been gentle, always touching his face, kissing him, asking him if he is alright or if he is satisfying him, things and stuff Yuki had never done before. He wanted to ask if Yuki had hit his head and that's the reason he is acting so weird. Shuichi noticed the changes in Yuki, he calls him by his name now, and yes, termed him as his better half. He was brushing Yuki's hair, playing with it, when he noticed that Yuki's hair was a little short. Did he just had a haircut? With his hair like this, he looked liked that American waiter friend of his, too bad, they won't be able to meet because Alex went home without even telling him goodbye.

The next day, Yuki was doing the laundry, Shuichi was still in bed. He got his overnight bag he forgot to unpack. He whirled around to see if Shuichi is there. He opened the bag, touched the clothes inside gently and Yuki smiled. He folded back the denim jacket, jeans and shirt. He got the name tag, he flipped it over. Alex. The name plate says under the name of the hotel where Shuichi stayed for a month. He touched it fondly. He used his charm on the staff of the hotel to give him a job at the hotel, he said he would do anything, and he told the manager he was doing a research, that they don't need to pay him, just let him work. Business was kind of slow and the manager was falling for the Yuki charm that she consented at the novelist's unusual request. It was an experience they both needed and made them more close to each other.

He rubbed his eyes, it was hard getting used to the contact lenses but it was an experience he won't forget and he would do it all over again, if he has to, for his life…for his Shui han…his better half. He looked up at the clock on the wall, K would be banging on their door in half an hour, so he put their clothes in the wash and went to the kitchen to make Shuichi his favorite strawberry pancake.

Shuichi was a little bit overwhelmed at the changes his lover is showing him but he promised himself he would not go and just run out of him again. He didn't think he's going to survive that if he didn't meet that American guy by accident.

Yuki was at the sink washing the dishes when Shuichi padded to the kitchen sleepily. Shuichi rubbed his eyes. "Go hurry up if you're going to eat, K would be here any minute." Yuki said, his back still turned to Shuichi. And Shuichi stared at the back of his lover's head, like this with a loose shirt on, and corduroy pants, he is reminded of Alex.

Shuichi nodded and attacked his pancakes, "Thank you, Yuki." He said, happily, Yuki made his favorite. Yuki dried his hands and walked over to the brat, ruffled his hair, smiling. Shuichi caught his breathe in his throat, just now, he fell in love with the man all over again. Yuki put a piece of paper beside Shuichi.

"Here…I started something, Shui. Check it out when you have time, and then add some more to it and let's review it together after." Yuki said, pushing a lyric sheet beside the boy. Shuichi was speechless.

He looked at Yuki. What is this? An epiphany? Yuki just smiled, ruffled his hair again. "Call me later when you're off work, I will pick you up. Let's go out to dinner later." Yuki said, and leaned down and planted a kiss on the boy's lips, Shuichi melted, his eyes filled with tears.

"Y-Yuki? Are you alright?" he asked, worried now, his lover is acting so weird.

Yuki nodded, "Am still tired, I just finished my novel. Am going back to bed. Go take your shower, K will be here soon." Yuki replied, and walked out of the kitchen. Shuichi nodded, still couldn't believe that these are all happening right now, that Alex is somehow a voice of an angel and knew that this is gonna happen, and came down from heaven to deliver him the message.

Shuichi stood by Yuki's bedside, watching the novelist in his unguarded moment, so handsome, he thought, and now, Yuki is finally accepting the fact that he has Shuichi in his life. The boy was so happy, he could burst, he felt an ache in his chest, he leaned down and kissed him. He was expecting the man to shove him away or yell at him, but instead, Yuki pulled the boy to him in an embrace, and return the kiss even more sweeter and hotter that Shuichi groaned, feeling a stirring inside of him.

"I love you, Yuki." Shuichi said, holding Yuki's neck tight. Yuki wrapped his arms around the boy.

" I love you, too, Shuichi." Yuki replied, and Shuichi cried, he had been dying to hear that, even if he didn't these past few hours with Yuki like this, he was already content, having him say it out loud like that, he felt he died and went to heaven.

"Hey." Yuki said, gently, gathering his chin, making him face the older man. "We'll make it work this time, okay? Better get used to these, there will be more coming, brat." He said, affectionately, smiling.

Shuichi held him tighter. If he was dreaming, he didn't want to wake up. He looked at Yuki again. Silently thanked his unofficial angel named Alex. With one last kiss, Shuichi went to work with wings at his heels.

Owari