Kaori: (nailing boards to the door as someone desperately bangs on it) RACK OFF!

???: LET ME IN!

Kaori: NO! GO AWAY YOU BASTARD!

???: DAMN YOU I SAID LET ME IN!

Kaori: AND I KEEP TELLING YOU NO!

???: YOU CAN'T KEEP ME OUT FOREVER!

Kaori: (to herself) I don't have to keep you out "forever" just until the end of this chapter.

The Shinobi's Guide to Sentai
By Kaori

The battle was not going well. The Super Shinobi were managing to keep Raherod from coming any further into the village proper, but the hits they were scoring on the monster weren't doing as much damage as they'd hoped. Worse still Raherod was scoring some incredibly damaging hits on them.

"It's not working!" yelled Ino.

"Aim for the parts that are already damaged!" Neji called back. "We can't give up yet! This is our home and I'm not going to let some monster destroy it!"

If anybody noticed Neji's sudden passion they didn't say anything, too preoccupied with staying alive and keeping Raherod from advancing.

They struggled for what seemed like hours until finally…

"RRRROOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRR!" Raherod started to fall.

"WE DID IT!" cheered Lee, who somehow summoned up enough energy to dance like an idiot atop his turtle.

"Kid…don't do that…" said the mortified turtle.

"KAMEN! DO IT NOW!" Kiba yelled.

Kamen, who up until this point had appeared to be meditating but had actually fallen asleep, woke up. Taking quick stock of the situation he took a deep breath.

"All right, this is it. I know we weren't together for very long, and Neji seems to hate me for some reason, but I am truly glad to have met you all. I'm going to miss…"

"SHUT UP! GO DIE NOW!" screamed Neji.

"Geez, there goes all that beautiful dramatic tension..."

Kamen seemed to fade away for a moment before bursting into a ball of pure, white light. The light then separated into streams that enveloped Raherod; he roared in protest and thrashed about before slowly starting to become incorporeal.

"It's working!" said TenTen.

"NO! NOT WHEN I WAS SO CLOSE! I WON'T ALLOW IT!" a voice boomed from everywhere and no where at once. The Super Shinobi looked around frantically trying to find the source.

"WHO SAID THAT?" Kiba demanded.

The sky above their heads appeared to crack and shatter and a lone figure clothed in regal robes and carrying an oversized mace appeared. Dark brown hair cascaded down his back and he was wearing the most ridiculous visor anyone had ever seen.

"You Super Shinobi have gotten in my way for the last time."

"And just who are you?" challenged TenTen.

"Fool! I am Lord Aflac, Ruler of the Dynascavenger Empire, and I offer you a choice:"

"Let me guess," snorted Kiba. "we join you or die, right?"

"Ah, you have done this before."

"No, it's just the most overused bad guy line in the world is all."

"And in answer to your unasked question," Shino said coolly. "no."

"No you won't join or no you won't die?" asked Lord Aflac.

"Both." And the Super Shinobi attacked. Lord Aflac seemed unsurprised.

"Have it your way…" and he took out a talisman from the inside of his coat. "RAHEROD! TO ME!"

The sound that followed was so loud everyone thought they had gone deaf, but when it finally stopped Kamen's light had been completely dispelled and Raherod's ethereal form had transformed into a stream of darkness that was engulfing Lord Aflec.

"What's happening?" Ino yelled, unsure if anyone could actually hear her.

"They are merging." Said Shino.

"Dammit! This is bad! We can't handle them combined!" wailed TenTen. "And Kamen's gone now so there's no way we can seal it up in the scroll!"

When the merger was complete, Lord Aflac seemed unchanged but on closer inspection you could see Raherod's horns and eyes; the visor having shattered mid-transformation.

"Now then," the newly formed Aflachod said slowly. "I think it's high time I got rid of you."

With no power left, and the power in their summons slowly becoming nil, the Super Shinobi prepared for the end.

"Lee…" Neji said solemnly. "I just want you to know that I blame you for this."

KRAKOW! Lightning struck between them and Lord Aflec. The Dynascavenger leader whipped his head around.

"Who dares…"

"Mendokuse." A lazy voice drawled from behind the confused Super Shinobi.

"SHIKAMARU?" gasped Ino. Said boy waved a hand lazily.

"Don't forget about us!" a cheerful voice called from their right.

"CHOUJI? HINATA?" Chouji grinned and saluted and Hinata just looked embarrassed.

"And the gang's all here!" Another voice called from their left.

"NARUTO?"

Standing atop the rubble of what used to be a bakery, were a completely healthy Naruto and a boy they didn't recognize. The stranger's hair and eyes were bright red, which was all you could see of his head as the rest of his face was covered by a thick, white scarf and he was wearing a black shirt and pants. From what they could see of his eyes, he was very annoyed.

"You guys take a rest." Naruto said, doing the Nice Guy Pose. "We'll take it from here!"

"Brat…" said the red-haired boy. "if we're both alive when this is over I'm going to ensure that you'll regret ever dragging me into this mess."

One Hour Prior…

"Ooowww…" moaned Naruto, as he sat up. "What the…what am I doing in the forest? And why do I feel like I got run over by Sasuke's fangirls."

"Brat..."

"Kyuubi. I should have known this was your fault."

"You idiot I just saved your life! If it weren't for me you'd be making singing with the choir invisible right now!"

"More like you saved your own hide and I'm just extra baggage."

"Hmph… It's your own fault you stupid, ungrateful human. If you weren't such a weak imbecile I wouldn't have had to save your miserable life. Honestly, who goes into a dark alley alone?"

"Geez, can't you lay off the insults for once?"

"Um, excuse me…" a voice said behind Naruto. He jumped. He had been talking aloud because he thought there was no one else in the forest but unfortunately he wasn't as alone (relatively speaking of course) as he thought he was. "I'm afraid there's been a bit of a mix-up and I need your help."

"Mix-up?" asked Naruto, turning around slowly to face the person. To his surprise, it wasn't so much a person as it was a dog-sized seagull (1).

"Yeah, see you don't remember but there have been a lot of attacks by an evil organization that really shouldn't exist here. There was an accident in my world involving a tachyon generator and a ham and cheese on rye with mayonnaise and the resulting explosion caused the dimensions to align for a split second (2), but really that's all it takes for..." noticing Naruto's glazed expression, the seagull decided to rethink its approach. "Er…long story short, all this stuff that's been happening wasn't supposed to happen here and I need your help to put everything back where it's supposed to go before my boss finds out and fires me."

Ten minutes later Naruto and the seagull had rounded up Hinata, Shikamaru, and Chouji and were standing in a clearing in a loose circle.

"Oh, this won't work. There're four of you." Said the seagull.

"What do you mean?" asked Shikamaru.

"The rules clearly state that a group needs at least three but no more than five heroes one of which must be female or, if male, have a pretty but fragile and/or annoying love interest. Since the girl here doesn't fit any of the latter two descriptions we can't leave her behind. Getting rid of one of you boys is right out because none of you are handsome enough to be the designated pretty boy, and none of you are emo enough to be the brooding bastard.. We need a fifth." The seagull zeroed in on Naruto. "You! Come over here with me."

"Huh?" blinked the blonde as he was dragged off into the trees.

Confused but not wanting to go back to the village and hide with everyone else, Hinata, Chouji (bag of chips in hand), and Shikamaru waited for Naruto and the seagull to come back. They didn't wait long and it seemed that the seagull had found someone to assist them; a red-headed boy who was introduced simply is K.

"Let me just say," said the red-head. "that I am doing this under extreme protest."

"Point taken and noted." Said the seagull. "Now I'm giving you each a temporary sentai pass." He handed each of them a small pin. "Press the button and you'll transform; you'll know what to do after that. Oh, and once the job is completed your passes will disintegrate and you will have absolutely no memory of any of this happening..."

"Fine by me." Grunted K.

"Except for you K. Due to your...unique nature I'll be unable to erase this from your memories but given your circumstances it won't matter."

"Damn."

(: Wow that was a long-ass flashback!

LOUD SHATTERING NOISE

Kaori: What the hell… Naruto! You broke the Fourth Wall! Do you have any idea how much it costs to fix that? (3)

Naruto: Sorry?

Kaori: Not yet but you're gonna be…)

Naruto and the others stood between the Super Shinobi and Aflechod.

"You guys ready?" Naruto asked his friends (and demon). They nodded.

All five pressed the small pin on their chest and…

"TRANSFORM!"

Naruto, the stranger, Shikamaru, Hinata, and Chouji were obscured from view respectively in red, black, blue, purple, and green colored-smoke. When it cleared they were all dressed in kimonos in the corresponding color (with the exception of Hinata who was wearing a short cheongsam). Naruto and the boy in black had swords at their hips; Shikamaru was holding a bo staff, Chouji had a gigantic club, and Hinata had a pair of large rings (do a Google Image Search for Shun Shang Xian if you want a reference).

"You picked the wrong village to mess with!" Naruto pointed at Aflechod.

"Pah! You cannot fathom the kind of power I now have. To me you are nothing more than flies to swat."

"HEY! DON'T LUMP ME IN WITH THESE…MMPH!" K (Kyuubi in human guise for those of you who are slow on the uptake) had started to yell but was cut off by Naruto covering his mouth.

"Stupid furball, do you want everybody to find out what you are?" hissed Naruto.

"What does it matter, the seagull said you humans won't remember this anyway." Glared K.

"That's not the point…" Both of them suddenly felt the need to be somewhere else and jumped high into the air, just in time to avoid being incinerated. Aflachod looked annoyed.

"You dare ignore me? For that you shall die!" he raised his hands. "Void Orb!"

Another blast hurled towards the ground but this time they were prepared. Hinata jumped in front of them and held both rings so that they formed the symbol for infinity.

"MANDALA WHEEL BARRIER!" she pushed her hands out, causing the rings to hover around her wrists before they spun rapidly. A gigantic mandala appeared in front of her, effectively creating a shield that the orb exploded against.

Wasting no time, Naruto and K leapt around the barrier attacking Aflachod head on.while Shikamaru and Chouji attacked from the rear.

"You disappoint me…" drawled Aflechod, putting up a barrier of his own and effectively knocking his four attackers to the ground. "I tire of these games. Time to end it." And before anybody could protest or say anything witty, Aflechod suddenly grew until he was the same size as Raherod had been initially. "Aah…much better…"

"Well…we're screwed now." Said Kiba.

"Heh, haven't you learned not to underestimate me by now dog-boy?" snorted Naruto. He turned to Shikamaru. "Do you want to do the honors?"

"It's too troublesome (and embarrassing), you do it." Said the lazy boy, leaning on his bo.

"Tsk…you're no fun."

"Just get on with it." Growled K.

"All right… all right…COME FORTH, DEUS EX MACHINA!"

"WHAT?" yelled Aflechod, looking around for the giant robot that would undoubtedly emerge. He was disappointed when one didn't show up. "Feh…a useless bluff. Now, prepare to die…" As he prepared to blast those below him, the sky turned dark once again. "What now?" A giant hand burst through the black clouds and grabbed onto Aflechod (think FLCL). "NO! UNHAND ME! I AM ALL POWERFUL!" He thrashed and cursed as he was dragged into the cloud cover.

KRAKOOOM! A bright flash and then the sky cleared.

"Well, that was anticlimactic." Said Neji.

"Hey, what happened to my costume?" wailed Lee. Everyone suddenly noticed that they were back in their normal clothing, although they were all quite dirty. No one except Lee seemed too upset about this.

"N…Naruto-kun…" Hinata said quietly. "There's something I've a…always wanted t..to tell you."

"Huh? What is it Hinata?" Naruto turned to face the shy girl.

"Well…I…you see…"

"HINATA! THAT THING YOU DID WAS SO COOL!" Kiba suddenly appeared behind her and slapped her on the back, effectively knocking her into Naruto. Predictably…

Chu! (4) THUMP! Hinata fainted.

"Wow…that was a lot better than the last time that happened." Naruto said dazedly. (5)

"Naruto you masher, you…" teased TenTen.

"No! It was an accident!"

"You mean you didn't enjoy it?" Ino decided to join in.

Fortunately for Naruto (and unfortunately for Hinata) the seagull showed up carrying what looked like a flag and wearing a referee's whistle around its neck.

"All right, that will be enough." He said waving the flag. "I have to get everything back to the way it was before."

"Wait a minute! There's something I need to know…" Neji started to say.

"No time, no time." He blew the whistle.

Kyuubi fumed, back in his confinement within the seal. True to his word, once the seagull blew the whistle and…there weren't really any adequate words to describe what happened next but it involved a lot of sound effects, flashing lights, and some guy named Stephen Hawking.

The seagull had been right. Nobody remembered a thing about what happened and, to all appearances it seemed like nothing had. Every once and a while there would be little hints; like Tsunade looking out her window and frowning or Neji twitching more than usual whenever he sees white spandex material.

Things were finally back to normal. But how long will they stay that way? The rabbit hole of depravity is deep...

Thus ends this story and hopefully I haven't caused anyone any serious trouble.(i.e. laughing too hard in class and at work; you know who you are) or injury (those of you who read my fanfictions while eating or in other disadvantageous positions even though you should know better by now).

And now for something completely different…

SASUKE: HA! I MADE IT! I'M IN THE STORY! IN YOUR FACE!

KAORI: You're a day late and a penny short Sasuke.

SASUKE: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

KAORI: Heh…Sasuke zip, me two thousand.

1) This is a bit of homage to my cousin's Cockeyed Man-Eating Seagull Rant (which is really his threat to genetically engineer a flock of cockeyed man-eating seagulls and set them loose on the unsuspecting public).

2) Ah how I do love scifi techno-babble.

3) I didn't want to put a boring "End Flashback" here.

4) This is the Japanese onomatopoeia for a kiss.

5) Naruto is referring to the infamous accidental kiss he had with Sasuke.