Title: To Kill a Legend: The Randy Orton Story

Characters: Randy Orton, John Cena, Edge, Muhammad Hassan and WWE Diva...I'm leaving it open to anyone else who comes along.

Narrated by: Serendipity

Rating: NC-17 for language, strong sexual content, slash

Genre: Humor/Romance/Supernatural for the muse part.

Summary: Serendipity returns to help Randy fall in love...and to fix all the other crap that's screwed up thank's to Adam's new muse.

Disclaimer: I do not know, own or endorse any of the characters except Serendipity and she tells me what to write; the rest belong to TNA and WWE respectively. These characters are loosely based off of their TV personas. Thank you for not suing.

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Prologue

I know, I'm the last person you expected to hear from this evening, but really, my news is so big, I just couldn't wait! Oh, yeah…I suppose I should reintroduce myself for those of you who weren't with me before. I am Serendipity; this is really a repeat of things for the rest of you, so feel free to do something else until my introduction is complete.

Reader's Digest version of who I am…I'm a muse. I help people find true love; I almost lost my job because I fucked up big time with Adam Copeland. But no worries, he and John Cena finally got together and almost gave me a fucking heart attack in the process. I even managed to help Mark Copani realize his love for Adam. Now I think that was a great feat, but the Board of Directors begged to differ.

Ok, you old timers, you can come back now. So, I have to tell you what happened at the Hearing. First, let me start by thanking those who testified. You did a fabulous job and believe me when I say that there will be a big, ripped, muscular angel in your next dreams that I am not lying. It's just a little thank you from me to you. Remember what wet dreams are right? You can email me and tell me all about it.

Enough with the suspense, I got probation…that's it, just probation. Not suspended, not fired, and not merged with that bitch Fate; just probation. But, my probation officers are The Powers That Be. TPTB are real sons of bitches. They make the Board look like Seraphim; if you don't remember what that is, please refer back to your The Edge of Reason handbooks and look it up. TPTB don't take any shit. They watch you like a fucking hawk, so I have to be on my best behavior. You all know how hard that is for me.

Oh, and did I tell you? I got my powers upgraded. It seems that Promise, a young angel I know, could understand my pain. She too has fallen in love with a human and she knew that I was only doing what I felt was right. Well, I now have the power to walk amongst the living. I haven't used it yet, haven't needed to. But just knowing that I can blend in, taste hot cocoa, actually feel flesh on mine…I'm so fucking excited.

Now, as you may remember, when I was going over The Edge of Reason, I told you that my uncles the Cosmos had given me a new charge. Well that charge is Randy Orton. Normally, I don't discuss on going cases, but right now I am thoroughly fucked. I need your help. I can't believe I am asking for a human's help in a divine job. But truth is, I have never dealt with a stupider person in all my life.

And if I were being totally truthful, I would tell you that I can't leave Adam alone. I have never abandoned a charge after the case was closed. I like to check in on them from time to time. Being that Adam and Randy are friends, well, I think it's only right that still protect his interests. After all, no where in my probation does it say stay away from him. And even if Kismet is his new charge; fuck her. She's too busy trying to make them fuck all the time that she is paying absolutely no attention to the fact that Adam and John's relationship is seriously lacking.

But, this isn't about Adam and John. Well, not really although they are a part of it…and Mark too. This is really about Randy.

Now where to begin? Randy wanted love…you know that...decided to be gay…already told you that... found his prostate…you got a laugh from that…I started molesting him in his sleep…mixed feelings about that; ah yes, let's start right here. I'll pick up right after the night he spent with Mickie and Mark. Seems like as good of a place as any, besides, you know most of the stuff leading up to that point.

Time frame in mind? Good, let's get on with it. So, without the grandiose set up, here's what I've working on since I took him as a charge. I'll give you the background and work my way up to the present. The title of this report is called To Kill a Legend: The Randy Orton Story.

I swear, if he doesn't kill himself, he's going to kill me in the process…

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Randy Orton opened his eyes and scanned the dark around him. This had to stop, every morning at 2:15, he found himself awake. He didn't know why it was always 2:15. All he knew was every night he slept peacefully, experiencing the best dreams he ever had, then suddenly he wake up when the feeling of warmth left his body. It wasn't that he was cold, he just missed whatever kept him warm before.

Looking at the clock, he sighed. "Fuck." Harshly closing his eyes, he rolled over and let his hand contact the body next to him in bed.

With a smile on his face, he nodded. Kelly could be the one. She's perfect. She's nice, she smells good, and she even does that little flirty thing with her eyes. Yeah, Kim's amazing. I mean, she road the Orton Express like there was no fucking tomorrow. I could use to this; having Kayla wake up every morning next to me. He pulled the covers down from her body and smiled in approval. Man, Kristen's got great tits...and a firm ass. He allowed himself to squeeze said ass as he finished his musings. I wonder what her last name is. It doesn't matter, she'll be Kylie Orton…I like the sound of that.

Touching the brunette that lay next to him, Randy gently nuzzled her neck. With a smile, the woman opened her eyes and he kissed her softly.

"I gotta go. My husband will be getting off work soon." The woman said as she started to get out the bed.

Randy felt all of his dreams of marriage and family float out that bed with her. Resting on his elbow, he looked at his latest conquest. "Are you sure? It's only like 2:30."

With a smile the brunette nodded her head as she patted around on the floor for her underwear. "Yeah, he drives a truck. He should be heading through Boston soon. I need to shower and get in bed before he gets there."

Randy felt as though he was going to cry. How could she just love him and leave him like that? What the fuck was her problem? At least, he always stayed the entire night with women that he picked up, if for nothing else, just so he wouldn't have to sleep alone. Plus, he really liked early morning sex.

"Kira, wait." He said as he pulled the covers off of him to stop her.

The woman turned around confused. "What did you call me?" There was no hurt in her voice, but she was definitely caught off guard by that name.

"Um, Kelsey?" No, that wasn't right. Why couldn't he remember her name? Great Orton, there goes your future wife and you can't remember her fucking name. Although he was sure it started with a K, he couldn't for the life of him remember it.

The brunette walked to the door and opened it. "I had a good time Randy, and I really loved the show. But, this is wrong. I shouldn't let you bring me back here…I'm not a ring rat."

Nodding Randy let her finish. He had heard it all before from the other hundred ring rats he had met after last night's Raw. "I know. That's why I picked you, because you weren't like them." A little lie goes a long way.

With a smile, she opened the door and turned to Randy. "And my name is Bridgette."

Flopping back on the bed, Randy looked at the ceiling again. "Why the fuck can't I fall in love with a woman whose name I can remember and who's not fucking married?" As silence answered him, he clutched his pillow and forced himself to sleep.

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So you see I have my work cut out for me. Part of the problem is Randy's libido was off the charts. I had to find a way to curtail it, so that we could actually find someone for him to love.

It's a bumpy confusing ride, so be prepared. Dealing with him, I'm likely to interrupt your lives several times a day. I suggest you take notes, because I am looking to you for help. And remember any advice you give me is between us, but know that I am being watched by TPTB, so try not to have me break the rules again. Contrary to popular belief, I actually love my job.

And just so there's no mistaking, I've stopped sleeping with him, but that doesn't stop me from cuddling…

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Author's note:

Here's the spin-off, which might turn in to more of a sequel. My Adam and John muse is not happy, especially since Rated RKO, looks so fucking hot together...anyway, I'm not giving anything away this time, just sit back and enjoy.

I really don't know if I can come close to rekindling the magic of The Edge of Reason, but I'll try. I won't be updating a lot at first because right now, I'm obsessing over The Concubine, and I'm working on Maintaining Perfection. As soon as that's done, it'll be full steam ahead!

Enjoy!

Shanny