(This disclaimer will remain in effect for the remainder of the story. If you have any questions, write me a letter.)
Title: A Journey Without a Name
Pairing: HinataXNeji
Rating: Currently T but subject to change in the near future.
Genre: Angst/Romance
A/N: I would like to say right now to my lovely lovers of Away From the Cold that this story does not in any way tie back to that one. This is just a new story that I felt inspired for, so I just went for it. (BUT, if you loved Away From the Cold, I'm sure you'll love this one too!) I would very very much appreciate your feedback, reviews make me feel all warm and tingly inside:P Please enjoy!
We all remember it. I guess we've tried to shun it aside, forget about it to gain some kind of sick sense of normality. To regain our sanity.
I tried to forget. I couldn't tell you what I was feeling, because I myself didn't know. It was hard to look anyone in the eye anymore. They saw me, and remembered her. Remembered who she was, and why we loved her.
We weren't enemies when it happened by any means. It was much better than the terror we went through five years ago at the Chuunin Exams. I would have to say that that fight cleared the air for us. We were never friends, but she was a cousin, and it was my job to protect her. I didn't despise that obligation anymore.
After that, I couldn't call her weak. She would never be like me, but she didn't want to be. And I had to respect her for that. She followed a path that none of us expected her to. She worked hard. I was proud to say she was my cousin.
The Hyuuga clan was known to have the touch of Gods. Our hands were soft, but the lightest touch could kill. Hinata fit this bill more than any of us. Even I had a few times where I could have pounded the living crap out of something, and forget about what I had been taught about my clan's honor.
She had a grace about the way she walked. She held her head high now with her shoulders back. But she still couldn't look me in the eye when she talked. She looked everyone else in the eye but me. Even her own father had the privilege of looking into the glassy depths of her eyes. But not me.
Once, after returning from a mission, I was tired and I was beaten. We had failed, and I was in one of my terrible moods. Hinata, being the angel she was, offered to heal what she could of my scraps and bruises, and bandage the rest. She was early in her training then.
I told her briefly about the mission when she asked, but for some reason, at that moment it bothered me then that she wouldn't look at me. I took her chin in my hand, and lifted her head so her eyes met mine. I guess it was the first time I had touched something gently, with no intent to harm.
I startled her. I know I must have, for she immediately broke her eyes away from mine, and looked downward, my hand still holding her chin. "Look at me." I told her, and she did so obediently. Did I frighten her? Is that why she couldn't bear to look at me?
I had never seen anything before that I could truly call beautiful, but her eyes showed me something that was beyond beauty. Her eyes mirrored mine perfectly, but they were so different. She held something within her that I could never understand. I could see it through her eyes, that she was different from me in so many ways.
It was at that moment that I realized why she never looked me in the eye. I was not meant to see such beauty. I should never have been blessed with the time that I held her eyes with mine. Something about her caressed me, caring for me without words or actions.
So I accepted this. I never looked into those eyes again. At least, not until that night.
Maybe it was some fantasy, or the imagination that I never knew I had, but I felt calm around her presence. I would never tell anyone this, of course, but I enjoyed being around her, even if it was just in my own way.
I protected her, and she took care of me. You could say that we both benefited from being around each other. I only spoke to here when she spoke to me, and she only talked because she knew I was the one person that would listen indifferently to her problems.
I've never had a friend, but I guess she was the closest I ever came to one. I had teammates, I had family, and I had acquaintances. That was all.
The night that she was taken from me was the first time I set foot inside her room. It was our unspoken agreement that we would meet in public places, even if that only meant the training grounds or the living area of the Hyuuga home. She never came to my room, and I never came to hers.
Maybe I just knew her voice. Maybe it was just my instincts. But whatever it was, I heard her scream when no one else did. By now, everyone says that I'm crazy. I must have just imagined it, they tell me. But I heard her, I know I did.
I may not be one to normally kick out doors, but this was a special occasion. When the door flew open the first thing I saw was the looked she gave me. Her eyes were just as beautiful as my memory had reminded me each night. But they were different. They were scared.
The second thing I saw in her room was the man that had her around the neck. "Neji!" She screamed at me. It was the first time that she had said my name without a suffix. What I remember next is the thing that haunts my dreams every night.
She reached out to me with one hand, the other still grasping at the arm the man had around her neck, trying to keep him from chocking her. "Neji! You can save me!" Then they were gone.
Somewhere in-between all of this happening, I had rushed into the center of the room to try to get her. To get that man. The flood of smoke clouded my vision, and made my eyes water. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself the reason was.
So that's where the family found me moments later. They heard the explosion of the smoke bomb, and had rushed over. They wanted to know who took her. I told them I didn't know. They told me to tell them what he looked like. I told them I didn't know.
"Weren't they here when you got into the room?" Someone asked me. I nodded yes. "Then you must have seen what he looked like." I shock my head no.
When you have a dream, most of the time you can't remember everything. You may be walking down the street and things that are familiar are clear to you. You may see hundreds of faces then, and not remember any. Like they were walking in a cloud of haze.
I kept telling myself that maybe it was an illusion; maybe that's why I don't remember what he looks like. But it was a lie. All I saw was her eyes, pleading for me to help her, her hand outstretched, willing me to take it.