What Do You Mean by 'Defeat'?

Disclaimer: Shivers at the thought of the soon-to-be-released 7th book and reminders of the 6th book. You think I'd really want to claim ownership of that? (Shivers of ick!)

o-o-o--oo--o-o-o

Harry leaned on his bed, reading one of Dumbledore's books with his head hanging over the edge of the bed. Now that Voldemort was a hot-dog, the group of six decided it was high time to begin planning their careers.

Experiences had strung them together too much for them to want to separate and go different ways, so they were looking for something that let them all work together.

The only problem was that Ginny and Luna were a year younger. But none of them had any intention of waiting that long to start their plans. With four months to go until the end of the year, bringing NEWTs with it, they had plenty of time to annoy Dumbledore into letting Ginny and Luna take the tests a year early. The two had been studying since the beginning of the year, taking on both sixth and seventh year work.

No, right now the pressing problem was trying to find an occupation, be it Muggle or magical.

So far, Harry had a list of possible jobs, just like the other five did. It was rather lengthy, but he was sure that Hermione would cut it short---

"Potter!" A shriek came up the staircase and through the walls, piercing his concentration. "WHERE ARE THEY?"

Recognizing the voice with wide eyes, Harry swallowed nervously and threw the book on top of the bed's canopy, the most unlikely spot he could think of, before running down the stairs.

All the students in the Common Room had frozen at seeing their usually calm and collected Headmaster burst into Gryffindor Tower, screeching the name of the Wizarding World's savior. The old wizard's hands were shaking and his eyes were bloodshot, leading a few Muggleborns to quietly wonder if Dumbledore was addicted to Marijuana and had recently decided to go cold turkey.

Harry crept slowly down the stairs, looking prepared to bolt at a moment's notice.

"Yes, Headmaster?" He asked calmly, like how one would talk to a rabid animal.

"Where are they?" Dumbledore asked coldly, his hand gripping his wand, and not in a defensive grip.

"I don't know what you're talking about..."

Neville, seeing that this battle was going to get ugly, threw a magical blanket over his precious plants as protection, and, grabbing Ginny's wrist, dove under the blanket, taking her with him as well. They were instantly, and unwillingly, transported to the Starship Enterprise to wait until it was safe to go back to Hogwarts once more.

"Cut it out, you foul little maggot!" Dumbledore howled, stomping the ground with his foot. "I want my lemon drops!"

"Why would I have your lemon drops?" Harry asked, just a touch too innocently to be truthful.

Hermione looked up from her giant tome on the migration habits of Egyptian Heiroglyphic Lemurs, but, seeing the battle in front of her, slowly put the book in front of her face once more, trying to act as if she wasn't there.

Smart witch.

"You-you-argh!"

Dumbledore charged at the seventh year, and Harry, feeling like his life was in danger far more seriously than it ever was with Voldemort, squeaked and ran in the opposite direction.

Vaulting over one of the armchairs, Harry paused. The Gryffindor Common Room was a veritable maze of squashy armchairs and sofas; only one who had spent a fair amount of time in the room could navigate through, and there was no way Dumbledore could clear the chair Harry just had.

This theory was proven wrong as he saw Dumbledore leap a solid seven meters into air, eyes sparking dangerously, with Gryffindor's sword in one hand and his wand in the other.

Harry yelped in terror and bolted for the portrait, barely pushing it open before Dumbledore caught up with him. Harry turned and slammed the portrait shut on the Headmster's fingers, ignoring the howl of pain in favor of getting farther away.

He paused, wondering which direction he should go in. The Room of Requirement was far too easy, and Dumbledore had more control over the castle than Harry did, so any magical rooms were out.

The Library? No, there was only one entrance...

He could always go to the Chamber of Secrets, but Fawkes could appear there, and Harry had no doubt the bird would do it again. Hagrid would no doubt take Dumbledore's side, so the grounds were out... Ah ha!

Harry ran once more, realizing a haven that he would only go to under the most extreme of circumstances. Surely no one would expect him to go there willingly...

He slammed open the double doors without knocking, alerting the single person Harry would, hopefully, forever think of as his savior.

"Madam Pomfrey, hide me!"

oooooooo

Dumbledore charged down the staircase, following the magical trail of his prey.

"Albus!" A voice said, and he turned to see Minerva walk up to him. "Good heavens, Albus, you look like a murderous boar!"

"Quick!" He exclaimed, disregarding the Transfiguration Professor's statement. "Where is Potter?"

"I have no idea," the stately witch replied, raising in eyebrow at Albus's mad appearance. "Why... what did he do now?"

"He stole my lemon drops!"

Minerva rolled her eyes. Her employer and his addictions. "Good luck on that, Albus. Harry and his merry band of miscreants know this castle better than the Marauders did."

"That doesn't matter," Albus said with surety. "I'll find the little demon."

"I'll help," Minerva said, remembering the few pranks recently hidden in her office and classroom, the least of which was numerous cat toys that distracted her in the middle of lessons.

The two started back on the path that pointed straight to the Hogwarts Hospital Wing.

"And why, Mr. Potter, do you need hiding?" Madam Pomfrey looked on sternly at the one wizard who had caused more trouble than the Weasley twins ever had in such a short amount of time.

"Dumbledore is hunting me!" Harry gasped, still trying to catch his breath. "He's mad, I tell you, mad!"

"I have no doubt," Poppy muttered, "that you somehow assisted in that. Fine, Mr. Potter, let me see what I can do for you."

Harry sighed in relief. He had claimed sanctuary here, and Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let anything happen to him.

Despite his confidence, he squeaked in mortal terror as the Hospital Wing doors burst open, Albus finding an accomplice in Minerva McGonagall.

"What is the meaning of this?" Madam Pomfrey said, bustling over to the door, wand in hand. "Headmaster, Minerva, I'm ashamed! What do you mean by bursting into my Hospital like that?"

"Him!" Dumbledore growled, pointing at Harry. "He took my Lemon Drops!"

"And pranked my office and classroom!" Minerva added.

"What is this?" A voice squeaked from outside the Hospital Wing, and they all turned to see Professor Flitwick watch the scene with interest. "Oh, are we exacting vengeance on Mr. Potter?"

The normally friendly professor grinned evilly at the nods he received. "Good. I need revenge for that hex on my desk a week ago!"

"Hey!" Harry protested. "That was Ron, not me!"

"Eh, technicalities," Flitwick said, waving the small correction away. "You know about it, so you're guilty by association."

Harry gulped. He was toast.

"Wait a second," Poppy said slowly, narrowing her eyes and glaring at Harry. "Were you behind those water balloons two days ago?"

"No!" Harry protested. "That one was Hermione!"

"Miss Granger... right..." Madam Pomfrey said slowly and disbelievingly. She stepped out of the three rabid professors' path. "Get him."

Harry, who had slipped his wand into his hand during this conversation, Vanished the glass on the window and leaped out of the Hospital Wing.

oooooo

"Wow."

Ginny stared in wonder at the world around her. There was a nearby panel filled with blinking lights and Technicolor gadgets. Neville, who had tripped during their transportation, was laying on a floor covered with giant white dots, and, looking up, she saw that they matched with similarly-sized white dots on the ceiling.

"Where are we?" She asked Neville, but was answered by someone else.

"You're on Starship Enterprise, missie," came a voice with an Irish accent, and she spun around, Neville jumping up with his wand outstretched. They saw someone in an odd-looking uniform standing beside the metallic panel, holding some kind of tool and looking at them with a bit of curiosity.

"Can I ask what you're here for?" He asked, putting down his tool.

"We, er, are here---" Ginny didn't know quite what to say.

"That is to say we, um..." Neville couldn't really think of anything either.

"We're here to see your leader!" Ginny exclaimed, and was promptly elbowed for her cliche remark.

"What was that for?" She muttered, elbowing Neville back as the man went over and clicked something on the wall.

"Two to see you, Captain."

There was a buzzing before he got a reply, as Neville and Ginny watched his curious actions with interest.

"Okay, Scottie. Bring them ... to the ... bridge."

Ginny stepped forward to better see this odd device, but was yanked back by Neville who now pointed his wand at the talking box.

"You're keeping someone captive in a box!" Neville cried in outrage, and this 'Scottie' turned around in surprise.

"No, laddie, just talkin' to the captain..." He broke off uncertainly at their confused glances.

"Oh!" Ginny said in realization. "It's like that odd walking man Hermione is always talking about! You know, like what Harry took for the chess game!"

"So this is some Muggle place, then," Neville concluded. "But how did we get here?"

"You got here through what you're standing on," Scottie said unhelpfully, pointing at the white circles. "But I'm supposed to take you to the bridge now, if you're here to see the Captain,"

Ginny and Neville mutely followed after him, staring in undisguised awe at the silent, handle-less doors and smooth metal passages.

Soon, though, they were completely lost as all the hallways began to blend together.

"Merlin, this is worse than Hogwarts!" Ginny exclaimed as she saw yet another straight corridor go off the main passage.

"Shh," Neville cautioned. "We don't know if it's safe to mention Hogwarts, even though everyone seems to be Muggles. Anyway, what happened to Dumbledore? He acted like he was insane!"

Ginny giggled. "Lemon drop shortage. It's been five days now without any. He's probably gone completely nuts."

Neville rolled his eyes. "Poor Harry, being chased by an angry and all-powerful wizard." He paused, realizing his make-shift greenhouse didn't transport with them. "Though if they squash any of my plants, there'll be Hell to pay!"

Ginny sniffed theatrically. "Sometimes I feel like I'm second in your heart, Neville."

"Second?" Neville asked. "No, no, maybe third... Ouch!"

He winced as Ginny jabbed her pointy elbow into his stomach.

"First!" Neville wheezed, waving his hands in sincerity. "First!"

"That's much better, Neville, and don't you forget it!"

Their conversation was interrupted by a final whoosh! of doors, and they saw a Magnificently Nerdy Computer Land sprawled in front them.

"Hermione would love it here," they whispered in awe together. People in similar uniforms to Scottie's walked around, pulling metallic levers, typing on lights, and playing expertly with various gizmos. Ginny reached for a temptingly large red button, but her hand was immediately grasped in an iron grip.

"I would not touch that if I were you; the result would be immediate and most probably catastrophic."

Ginny's hand was released, and she whirled around to see a tall man watching her impassively. She giggled at his emotionless expression, but didn't know quite what he was based on his pointy ears.

"Is there something amusing?" He asked in a mildly interested tone.

"No," she said, chastised, mentally thinking that this person was just like Snape except without the vitriol. "What is it?"

"A button, Miss...?"

"Oh!" She started. "My name is Ginny Weasley."

She held her hand out in greeting, and the elf-like man in front of her raised one eyebrow before shaking her hand.

"My name is Spock," he said, before dropping her hand. "And you are not of the Klingon Ambassadorial party."

"Erm, no, Neville's blanket made us come here, as a matter of fact... where did he go?"

o----o

Neville, having not payed attention to Ginny's interest in the red button, turned to greet the captain.

"I'm Captain Kirk," a man walked up to him in greeting. "This is the Starship Enterprise. I wasn't aware... of any incoming vessels. May I ask what your... business is here?"

"My name is Neville Longbottom, and where exactly is, er, 'here'? And what is the black screen with all the dots for?"

o----o

She looked around to see Neville running towards her, looking crazed.

"Ginny, these people are insane! They think that we're in space, Quadrant 4 something or other, and this is some kind of UFO like Hermione is always talking about!"

"I assure you that we are not insane, and we are indeed in space, though in a starship rather than a UFO."

Neville looked at Spock in horror. "Good gravy, not another Snape!"

"A Snape? I'm quite sure that I'm not," he said impassively, but Neville ignored him and turned to Ginny.

"We have to get out of here before they try to mummify us!"

"It's your bloody blanket that sent us here!" Ginny exclaimed. "So how are we supposed to get back? Do you think that we can contact anyone from here?"

"Do you still have your DA galleon? If we can fiddle with those charms--- Squeak!"

The two experienced in odd feeling, like being stretched into themselves and up at the same time, before they were once more in the Gryffindor Common room. Hermione was holding up the blanket with an expression that was a cross of sympathy and annoyance.

"Harry and Dumbledore left," she said, shaking her head at what Harry had done. "I'm fairly sure it's safe to come out now."

"Hermione, the most amazing thing happened!" Ginny climbed out from under the blanket just in case it tried to transport her and Neville again. "We went to Quadrant something or other, with all these technological gizmos, and someone named Spock with pointy ears!"

"Sure you did," Hermione said dismissively, glancing worriedly at her at the same time. "And Captain Kirk thought you were Klingons, did he?"

"Well, no, it was that Spock fellow that said that..." Neville said, rushing to the defense of Ginny.

"Right, of course," the bushy-haired girl muttered, this time watching the blanket as if it might attack. "Why don't you two see where Harry got to?"

As soon as they turned away, still commenting about the UFO they found, Hermione made a magical copy of Neville's blanket and stuffed the original into her backpack.

Wouldn't that Star Trek fan club she was secretary of just love to see this!

o----o

As the wind whipped past him and his eyes watered, Harry realized that leaping out a window was probably not the best idea. As fun as vertical free-fall was, he would rather not---WHOMPFT!

"Having fun there, Harry?" Ron asked, holding on to him by the neck of his robes. "Good thing Hermione's so smart. I never would have imagined you leaping out a window..."

He handed Harry his Firebolt, as Ron had rescued Harry from a splattery end alight his own broom. Grateful for the intervention, Harry swung out of Ron's grasp and up onto the Firebolt.

"Hermione sent you after me, did she?" He asked, making faces at the four currently glaring daggers at him out the Hospital window.

"Yeah, she said something about a mad and raging Dumbledore. So nice to know everything has returned... to... normal..."

Harry turned around, wondering what was wrong. "Bloody Hell!"

The two had been flying towards the Quidditch Pitch when, like an angry swarm of bees who had finally caught up with a greedy bear, a stampede of green-and-silver-uniform-wearing Slytherins swooped over the stands straight for the two of them, buzzing angrily and shouting battle cries.

"AAAAHH!" Ron and Harry screamed as one, abruptly turning around and flying for all they were worth in the opposite direction.

Strangely enough, the four in the window weren't glaring anymore. In fact, they looked rather pleased with themselves.

Ron ducked as a particularly vicious hex singed his hair. "What was that?"

Harry turned around. "That would be Malfoy."

"Oh," Ron said, immediately sitting up straight again. "Nothing to worry about in that case."

This time he flinched as a broad orange light streamed by, millimeters away from his neck.

"And that?" Ron asked, his voice high-pitched and his eyes wide.

"That would be Snape."

"We're screwe---" Ron didn't even have time to get out that singularly prophet-like prediction before a duet of air-sizzling energy hit their brooms, catching the tail-ends on fire.

Even as they were plummeting to the ground, Harry and Ron pulled out their wands and began hexing every Slytherin within viewing distance, all of them spells divulged by Fred and George and, by consequence, not likely to be short or pleasant.

Though both Gryffindors would later claim it was because of their brilliant tidal wave of spells, it certainly wasn't true. All they knew was that the blond ferret in the front was pointing in the sky behind Ron, and soon exclamations suitable to burn ears filled the air. Then as one, the swarm of Slytherins on brooms fled back to the castle, screaming about mental Gryffindors and the company they kept.

Almost too afraid to look around, the two gulped as they were caught out of the air and placed on feathery backs.

Deciding to use their Gryffindor foolishness, they turned to see a veritable army of thestrals, hippogriffs, and wild flying cars, all coming to their rescue.

o----o

Hermione's Enumeration of Possible Occupations

1)Spell-Crafting – I could do research, Neville can research separate potion possibilities, Ginny and Ron could do publicity and ideas, Harry supplies power, and Luna makes extraneous comments—I mean Luna helps with ideas and research

2)Becoming Ministry Officials – Harry as Minister, Ron as Head of Aurors, Ginny as Head of Games and Sports, Neville as Associate of St. Mungos, Luna as editor of the Prophet, and I as Umbridge-torturer; I mean court justice

3)Official Criminals – Harry guilty of turning leaders of power into hot dogs, Ginny as arsonist, Ron as forger, Neville guilty by association, I kidnapping all house-elves and setting them free, and Luna as disturber of the peace

4)Professors of Hogwarts (in one fell swoop—will later look into potions) – Harry as DADA, Ginny as Potions, Ron as Flying Instructor, Neville as Herbology Teacher, Luna as Divination Teacher (no need for that, anyway) and I as Arithmancy teacher; McGonagall and Flitwick can stay

5)Professional Blackmailers – I as dirt-digger, Harry and Ginny as intimidation, Ron deciding who is more important to control (strategy-wise), Neville as publicity so we don't look that frightening to the public, Luna as distraction so as to get incriminating evidence

It appears I need to meditate then get back to this when not in such a horrible mood, or, when Dobby gives me my knitting needles back.

--o--

Ron – Job List

Quidditch

Ronald Bilius Weasley, your future requires more thought than just one word. Not to mention the fact that WE ALL WANT TO WORK TOGETHER! So use you head and put more thought into the matter!

Quidditch – Chudley Cannons

--o--

A/N: I don't really know where I'm going with this---I think it's just one of those pieces to work on when I'm too ADD to work on anything else! So give me a plot please. Or a straitjacket.

Whichever.

Miss Whiskers