I'm horrible...I know but seriously it is very hard to write when your inspiration is gone (damn Shonda). I've been watching tons of Addek youtube videos lately and its finally put me in the mood to write again.

It's the home-stretch of this story so I really pray that you guys will bear with me while I tie up all the loose ends in to a neat little package. I promise I will not leave it unfinished.

Enjoy and please try to review (it helps motivate me toooo)

I was sure, I was born and raised to be my own man
I was so sure; I was never going to need a helping hand
And she said, trust in your heart and there's no need to understand
Well just when I thought I had it planned out

"We need rules."

Derek looked up, "Rules?"

Addison nodded as she grabbed another slice of pizza, "Yes, rules. There are just so many details we need to be careful of."

Derek shrugged, "You're the boss."

"I like the attitude."

Derek smiled, "You were always the boss of me."

Addison laughed, "Mark was the boss of you. You did whatever he did. It was kinda sad actually."

"Okay. Okay, I'll admit it. I may have taken direction from Mark a little more than I probably should have. But you do know it was under his orders that I asked you out."

She took a bite of the crust and pulled her knees towards herself, "Yes I believe I recall Mark saying you were too intimidated to even look at me never mind ask me out."

Derek stared at her a moment, the lightness of his tone disappearing, "I had reason to Addison. You were amazing. You still are."

She shivered slightly. It had been so long since he had talked to her that way. Not forced or excessive. Just Derek. She had missed it more than she realized.

He smiled and grabbed another piece of pizza, "So rules, right?"

She shook her head, trying to remember her train of thought, "Rules. We can't just jump into this. We have to be considerate of others. And we have to careful with ourselves."

She wasn't ready to have her heart broken again. She was glad Derek was starting to grasp that fact.

"Rule number 1. No one knows. We test the waters without all of Seattle Grace knowing."

Derek cringed slightly and Addison quickly knew rule number 1 was already in trouble.

"What? Is there a problem with keeping our private lives out of the hospital?"

"Well…no…but someone knows."

"Oh God, it's Meredith. She's going to kill me."

"You're safe for now. It's not Meredith. It's Mark."

She gives a soft scream, clearly exasperated, "That's just as bad. He cannot keep a secret for the life of him. I was starting to like not being hated. The nurses gossiped so much less when I wasn't involved in the Mcdreamy equation."

"You weren't hated."

She cocked an eyebrow, "I was despised. I'm actually pretty sure the nurses had a plot to get rid of me and hide the body in the boiler room. The only reason they didn't carry it out is because Callie was living down there."

Derek looked at her for a moment before breaking into laughter.

She quickly began laughing as well. It was the contagious laughter she had missed so much.

She scooted slightly, placing herself next to his shoulder. A slight touch but enough to keep her content for the moment.

He noticed her move. Things were going better. It had been two weeks since that day in the on call room. Two weeks since he had promised change. Or really two weeks since he said he wanted to go back to being the person he was.

They had eaten in many nights. This was their third pizza joint. They had tried 5 Chinese places. And 2 Thai take out restaurants. They had shared lunch twice in the on call room. Enough for them to feel comfortable around one another again.

Even before she had said rule number one he had known their relationship would have to be kept a secret for a while.

Everyone would call her a fool for putting herself in this situation with him again. His conversation with Mark had convinced him of that.

Mark had questioned him a few times but he had been able to avoid the conversation thanks to his pager going off at the most opportune moments.

There was of course still some hesitation. They hadn't talked about the serious issues. Mostly rehashed memories of times in New York.

They were past Mark. It seemed like a life time ago now as he sat with her. Her shoulder grazing his slightly, her weight against him when she laughed.

She was controlled but in moments she let go and she let go enough for him to feel at ease with the situation.

She turned to him, her eyes bright. He had missed that. He had forgotten the way her eyes lit up when she was excited. When the words couldn't come off her lips fast enough.

"I remember the only way I could negotiate a truce with the nurses was to let them borrow my shoes. Oh lord. I cried so hard when Carol stuffed her chubby size 11 feet into my precious size eights. I sacrificed Jimmy Choos for you. You better have appreciated that."

She glared at him with laughter in her eyes. She looked happy in that moment.

He lifted a hand and traced her chin. The feel of her soft skin igniting a million emotions within him.

He leaned in and she met him half way. They always met half way.

It was easy. So easy to just be with her. It always just fell into place with them.

They always fought. Fighting was like second nature. But making up was second nature as well.

She pulled away and leaned her forehead on his. Her eyes still closed. Her cheeks flushed.

Looking at her now he couldn't imagine not finding himself in this exact place. Everything he ever done had led him back to her. Even running away had only brought him back to her.

He felt so insecure at that moment. He had chosen her. He left Meredith. He felt like he had made these decisions and put her in a place where she had no choice.

"Did you love him?"

She leaned away. Taken aback by his sudden change in tone.

"Derek…what do you mean?"

He steadied himself. So afraid of her answer.

"Did you fall in love with him?"

She straightened her posture and closed her eyes.

What was she supposed to say? How could she explain?

"Addison. I need to know. I…" he trailed off.

He needed her so badly and the thought that she might not need him just as bad left him feeling empty.

She took his hand and rubbed small circles. She could hear the panic in his voice.

"Derek. I couldn't fall in love with him. I told him from the first day that I was still in love with you. We were just trying to put the pieces of our lives back together."

She hated herself in that moment. He had told her he loved Meredith with such indifference for her emotions. With such little regard for how much power he had over her. And here she was in the same situation unable to tell him a lie to hurt him as bad as he had hurt her.

Old memories surfaced. Things were disastrous between them. Were they fools to try again? Was she a fool to put herself in a situation where he could hurt her again?

He watched the emotions play across her face and he felt almost like he could read her mind.

12 years together had given him some abilities.

"I didn't love her. I don't know why I said it then. I just wanted to hurt you so bad. To make you feel like it was easy to fall out of love with you. It's not Addy. Not loving you is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do."

She shook her head, a small smile on her lips, "You don't know the half of it Derek."

He kissed her again, this time with more fury and passion.

Who had they been kidding?

She grazed the back of his neck with her fingertips. Showing a sign of affection as she broke the kiss. She was so unaccustomed to seeing such a vulnerable Derek. A Derek who observed and talked about what was on his mind.

It was the Derek she knew in New York before they had drifted apart.

"I think its time you go home Derek. Callie gets off her shift in 15 minutes."

He nodded and looked into her eyes.

"Are we okay?"

His voice faltered as it had all night.

She smiled, her lips forming a high curve, "Yeah. We're getting there."

I was driving too close to the edge and living dangerously
I felt strange, a warm sensation rising up inside of me
Oh like a tidal wave came from nowhere swept me off my feet
Oh but somehow making me complete now

Derek was putting on his coat when Addison appeared at his side.

She had a sly grin on her face.

"I've got a surprise."

She placed herself infront of him. Her body leaning against him.

She was so cruel.

"It better involve your lips," he whispered before kissing her fiercely.

She placed her lips at his ear, "It might. Callie just called, she's spending the night at George's. So…"

She trailed off.

He looked into her eyes seeing a twinkle, "So?"

She kissesd him again confirming the look in his eye.

It had been a very long two weeks.

Whatever I do I'm under the influence of you
Whatever I do I'm under the influence of you

James Morrison

I love the end part of this. Those last few sentances between Derek and Addison are my favorite! Expect lots more Addek interaction in the coming chapters. I also have some hoops for Derek and then the conclusion! Which I had written in my mind like ages a go but I'm finally at the point where I know when I put it all together it will make sense.

I'm so excited. I hope there are still readers out there who are as excited as I am to know this story is starting to get where I imagined it to be like a year ago. Seriously. I love this baby and I hope you do too!

Review for brownie points. Yummmm...