Rating: Mature

Pairing: GSR

Spoilers: Post Ep for Happenstance

Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, if they did, you'd know where to find them.

A/N: I am completely unspoiled in all ways, shapes and forms, so this is just my (smutty) end to Happenstance. This could be considered a companion piece to Hush (my post ep for Burn Out), but stands just fine on its own.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to Elle for her generosity of spirit, time and talent, not to mention her research done bravely on my behalf.

Divinity

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.

Henry David Thoreau

Sometimes he got lost.

Lost in a case, lost in thought, and there were even times when he lost his way.

He looked down at the book that lay open in his lap, knowing the answer he was looking for would never be found in its pages. It didn't stop him from looking, though. Sara's brief appearance in his office had given him pause; an opportunity to contrast what he had been to what he was now.

There were times he was horrified by his life; by the terrible things human beings were capable of. Other times he was nearly consumed by the joy he'd found with Sara, yet with each passing day, he felt the divide between the two halves growing wider; it was a dichotomy that he wasn't sure he could live with much longer.

He remembered how simple things were when he had been alone. Work consumed him; no one cared whether he slept or ate as long as the case was solved. Sara had changed all that, and as she opened herself to him he found he could do no less. So bit by bit, she had restored a part of his heart he thought he'd lost long ago, and imperceptibly his life became less about the dead and so much more about the living. Now every crime scene he visited, every life he saw devastated, threatened that precious part of him.

He'd known something needed to change for awhile; he had to find a release for this ache that plagued him, from the sense of loss that seemed to frame his every moment at the lab. And then it had come, the chance to restore his faith in his life's work, to find meaning again in something that once defined him.

But he had more to consider than his own needs; everything he was, everything he had was twined with Sara now. The first time he'd touched her, really touched her, he'd discovered a stillness inside of himself he never could have hoped to have known outside of her arms. He thought she must have channeled some mystical power, but all she really did was love him for who he was at that moment. And for the first time in his life, there was no where else he needed to be.

He wanted to hold onto this quiet peace that she created for him, but he could feel his grip slipping. And there was nothing Sara could do to help him; she had already given more of herself to him than he ever could have hoped. So now he sat, rooted by his indecision, by the carefully folded letter tucked under the blotter on his desk. He was afraid to leave her even for a short time; she was his peace, his promise, and held his tomorrow in her hands.

He looked over at his keys sitting on the table next to him, realizing it was his own doubt and fear that was keeping him from Sara. His fingers closed around the cool, sharp metal and he was gone.

He took the long way home, discarding his thoughts on the road behind him, until only she remained. The house was quiet when he opened the front door, but she'd left the lights on for him. He turned them out one by one as he walked down the hall toward their bedroom. The door was ajar, and the sheer curtains fluttered slightly over the open windows. He'd never had curtains before Sara, but she'd moved so effortlessly through him, through his life, softening all the hard edges.

Moonlight gave a dull glow, to the pale gray walls of their bedroom, illuminating Sara's silhouette on the bed. She was on her stomach, her hair a tangled mess of curls across his pillow, her arms thrown wide across the charcoal sheets. Just the sight of her and he felt a quiet peace come over him. He wanted to be close to her, to feel her soft, warm skin against his own, proof that he wasn't alone in the world.

He undressed as he crossed the room, leaving his clothes in a pile that he would most likely trip over in the morning, and slid into the bed next to her, aligning his naked body with hers. He'd only meant to slip his arms around her, to steal some comfort from the weight of her, but just the sweet scent of her skin, and he felt himself grow hard, pressing into her thigh as his leg moved over hers.

She stirred, mumbling something unintelligible at the feel of him. Her eyelids fluttered slightly as she came awake, her fingers moving over his skin with an extraordinary slowness, mapping every detail, every line and curve, gradually pulling the pieces of him together. Under her lingering touch, he began to find himself again.

"Sara." It was just a whisper of a breath, but she turned into the warmth of him, pressing her cheek against his.

She rolled over on her back, his name escaping from her lips as she drew him into her embrace. He buried his face in the curve of her neck as his hands pushed her tank top up and over her head. His mouth found her breast, and he drew his tongue across her nipple before sucking it into his mouth. A low hum came from deep within her as she arched into him.

She sensed the need in his touch and wondered what demon he was wrestling this time. It didn't matter, though, he'd found his way to her and that was all she ever really wanted; for him to know that at the end of the day he had someone to come home to. He sacrificed so much of himself into every case he worked, she worried that one of day he'd just be gone, swallowed by that which he sought to save others from.

His hand moved over her other breast and Sara twisted against him, pressing her body to his. Curling her fingers in his hair, she pulled his mouth to hers, drawing her tongue against his and pushing into his mouth as his need became her own. There were moments when she felt the lines between them start to blur, and she became a part him and he of her; the vulnerability she found in that space was something she never expected him to share, yet it fed her soul.

Drawing her legs up, she bent her knees slightly, and they fell open to him like the wings of a butterfly. She welcomed the heat of him as he joined his body to hers, his skin sliding against hers, his breath hot on her neck. He slid a hand under her thigh, moving her leg up against his so he could get more fully inside of her. She moaned, soft and low, her hips pressing up against him as they rocked together.

A fine sheen of sweat covered her skin as his name fell from her lips like a mantra. Her hands were relentless, touching every part of him, making him whole again. She was his connection to the divine, through her he saw the path to who he really was.

He looked up at her, his eyes deepening the link between them as he took her hand into his, first kissing the palm, then sucking her middle finger into his mouth. He moved his tongue over the length of it and around the top. She slipped her finger from his mouth, soaking in the desire she saw flare in his eyes as she moved her hand toward her center, stroking herself with the wetness from his mouth.

Sara's head fell back against the headboard as his movement inside of her grew more insistent, and she followed his rhythm until she felt the slight hitch in his thrusts. His eyes returned to hers then, as he let go, surrendering himself to her. She tumbled after him, a wave of bliss traveling through her as he held her tightly in his embrace.

He rolled onto his back, and she settled in his arms, listening to the beat of his heart as it slowed. He shifted under her, moving so he could see her face. She studied him then, resting her chin on his chest. His eyes drifted shut but she knew he wasn't sleeping. There was a peace about him that hadn't existed before, and she treasured it, knowing it would be short lived.

"Whatever it is, just go" she said softly, stroking his cheek with the tips of her fingers. "I'll still be here when you get back."

His heart dropped a little, he hadn't intended to be so transparent. He opened his eyes and looked down at her. He'd expected her to want an explanation, but she didn't, she just wanted him. He could see it her eyes as clearly as if she had said the words out loud.

A smile touched the corners of his lips as his hand came up to cradle her head. She was his constant, his north star; he'd only thought he was lost, Sara had been with him all along.