Yeah so i was writing this chapter a few minutes ago then my computer crashed and now im writing it again...im not happy about that but yeah im doing it for you people. Why? Because i love you all.

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Perfect

By: Pepperikeys

Chapter 4

Insanity

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In the beginning it never bothered me that i was hearing a voice in my head, Hey maybe i thought of the voice as my best friend or something. That's a laugh.

I guess i know now that if i did tell someone i was hearing voices in my head they would call me crazy fast...i mean even i questioned my own sanity.

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Her feelings she hides

Her dreams she can't find

She's losing her mind

She's falling behind

She can't find her place

She's losing her faith

She's falling from grace

She's all over the place.

(- Lyrics from Broken inside.)

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About 4 days have passed since the incident with Miroku.

Are you hungry Kagome?

Not once has she eaten sense then, and the only time she did was in front of Inuyasha, but she never lets it stay in her long enough to digest.

It was like a reflex to her now; ever time food goes past her lips it would come back up 5 minutes later.

Yes, was what she wanted to say.

"No." is the answer that came out.

She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth with her teeth and began chewing on it gently.

Her stomach felt like it was eating itself, but for some twisted reason she enjoyed the feeling.

She lowered her head down and glared at the dirt path they walked on.

She was walking alone behind all her friends quietly, lost in her own crazy world.

Two days ago Inuyasha claimed that they were falling behind and needed to search for the shards, which she translated to " We need to find the shards and perhaps we will run into my undead ex girlfriend." Yeah her mind was a cruel place.

A strong burst of wind brushed over the girls covered legs.

Instead of wearing the sweat clothes she now wore a pair of baggy dark blue jeans with holes ripped into both knees and a loose long-sleeved black turtleneck.

Her stomach churned painfully, in response she snapped her eyes closed and bit her bottom lip slightly harder to silent the grunt in her throat.

She must be crazy because she was ok with starving herself and forcing herself to purge still knowing it is unhealthy, not to mention she was beginning to love the feeling of having an empty stomach.

Come on Kagome you know you're starving.

She looked down at her feet, which were covered in black and white converses. "Just shut up." She muttered to the voice out loud.

Long strands of silver hair fluttered softly like a light feather in the wind as the male hanyou turned his head to glance at the raven-haired beauty.

There was something wrong with her, he just didn't know what.

She has barely spoken two words to any of them for the passed 4 days. It was like she was always locked away in her mind or something weird like that.

Secretly he really missed her company. Hell she was right there in front of him, but he still feels like he hasn't seen her for so long.

His eyes drifted over her pale white face.

It looked like she was glaring at the dirt path in front of her, but he knew she was stuck in her mind again, oh what he would give to be able to read her mind.

His eyes seemed to drift to her clothes that have recently changed in style.

She no longer wore short skirts, or skirts at all. Now she wore baggy pants she calls "jeans" or pants made out of cotton that stopped a little below her knee or some weird pair of pants made of jean or cotton that are covered in those pocket things.

Even her shirts changed, she wears weird long sleeved shirts that are kinda baggy on her, and if she ever wore a short sleeved shirt she would wear a thin jacket with it.

He noticed how her hair was held in a high pony tail at the moment, he decided he likes it that way, gives him a better view of her beautiful midnight blue eyes.

He watched her a bit longer, watched as she chewed her bottomed lip and silently kicked rocks out of her path, watched as she mumbled to herself.

A smile crept over his features when he saw her own lips curve up slightly.

'She's smiling.' He thought to himself.

He would talk to her again sometime today, he just need to wait for the right time. With that thought he turned and focused on the road ahead.

He's staring at you.

A shy smile formed on her lips slowly. 'I know, i can feel his stare.' She told the voice.

Why the hell are you happy?

'Huh?' She asked as she kicked another rock out of her path.

Look, you know the only reason he would ever look at you like that is ether he's thinking about Kikyo, or trying to figure out how to get rid of you.

She stuffed her hands deep into her pant pockets sadly, and bit her lip harder at the comment thinking that it was true.

She hissed in pain when her teeth cut into the soft flesh causing her mouth to fill with the taste of copper. 'Damnit.' She thought to herself angrily.

The scent of blood filled Inuyasha's sensitive nose, the bloods scent only belonged to one person.

"Kagome?" He whispered turning fully around to face her.

He watched her bring her hand up slowly to her bottom lip and wiped it side ways smudging it on the left side of her lip.

There was a flash of red and silver that appeared in front of her.

Kagome's POV

It's weird how only one guy can make me feel like this. Like my blood was on fire or something.

His calloused thumb lightly trailed on my bottom lip wiping away the blood coming from the cut in my mouth.

I swear i could almost feel my heart beat out of my cheast at that very moment.

I stood there stiffly counting down the seconds until he would pull his hand away in disgust; maybe he's mistaking me for Kikyo again.

"How did you bit your lip so hard wench?" He asked gruffly, his thumb still lightly carresing my bottom lips.

I felt like crying, he didn't love me, the voice told me so and its right, he loves Kikyo and he keeps me around because i "look" like her.

And look at me, im noting like her, not at all.

She so much better then ill ever be, or ever hope to be.

Look i haven't eaten in 4 days and i still cant stop thinking about food...i want to eat but im so tarrified of gaining a pound.

I stare at him and we both seem to get caught in each other's eyes. Well i guess i get stuck in his but its onesided.

"I bit it." I wispered glancing at the dirt ground.

"Keh." Thats all he said, but still his hand stayed there on my lips, it made me feel...warm inside.

I watched as his golden eyes drifted down and landed on my lips and lingered on them for awhile before he started lowering his head further down towreds mine.

Stop him, he must think your Kikyo, you dont decerve a kiss from him.

The voices words hurt but they were true, so what else could i do?

"I'm not Kikyo, Inuyasha stop." It hurt even more to say those words.

I closed my eyes scared to look him in the face.

I felt him stiff up and pull back as if i slapped him or something, i dont know why but i felt bad about it.

Maybe hes feeling disgusted with himself for almost kissing me, of all people, i mean i'd be disgusted to if i were about to kiss myself.

I clampped my eyes shut harder, not sure if it was from fear or hurt, i think im going to say its from hurt.

It hurts my heart too much to think that when he looks at me, it's not me hes looking at; it's his presions Kikyo.

I love him so much, but he doesnt care, which is why ill never be able to tell him.

I'm repulsing, fat, ugly, never good enough, just not perfect.

Unlike Kikyo.

Oh god some time i wounder why he does this to me, does he not know how i feel? Can he not see it? Does he even care?

I feel tears form in my closed eyes, but i try to resist releasing them.

I hate him.

I hate him.

I hate him.

I chant to myself over and over.

I hate him.

I hate him.

I try to hate him.

I really do.

I hate him for making me feel like this.

I hate him for all the pain i have to deal with.

I hate him for driving me to this point.

I hate him for so many things.

But most of all i hate him for making me fall in love with him.

I love him.

I love him for all the things i hate him for.

I stand still like a statue in front of him, and i feel something wet run down my cold cheek.

'I Love him.'

It must be raining now; my face is not dripping in the wetness.

'Why do i love him?'

My eyes are still thightly closed, so tightly it hurts.

'He does all this to me, causes me so much pain, all because im not pefect enough for him, all because im not her.'

I feel so alone most of the time now, i want it to be like that sometimes... But mostly i dont want to be alone.

You're never alone Kagome.

The voice is the closest thing i have to a best friend at the moment...sorry Sango.

I wonder if its possible to get stuck in your mind, to crawl into a safe cornor in there somewhere.

I want to bit my lip again, but it hurts.

A hand touches my face and wipes away some of the wetness, only it gets replaced with more wetness.

I finaly open my eyes and they meet with a pair of concered gold ones. I bring my hand up to my face, and look up into the sky, which is becoming dark.

It is not raining, but i am crying.

I wipe away the tear angerily with the back of my palm and then weet his eyes again.

"Kagome." He wisperes softly to me.

It hurts inside.

Hate to say i told ya so.

I feel sick, like purging but theres nothing in there to get out.

He turns his head and looks at Miroku and Sango who are standing next to each othe with Shippo in between.

"We camp here." Inuyasha says looking back at me.

I try to smile at him, im sure it's a broken smile though. "I-I Im sorry about that." He looks at me sadly his silver dog ears drop slightly.

Later on that night Inuyasha had us all eat ramen, including me.

I eat it as fast as i can trying not to thing of the carbs and fat etc, but i still played with it.

Inuyasha told me that he was sorry for the thing that happened earilyer, i smiled and nobbed but inside i was braking again.

Inuyasha never took his eyes off me, his stare was intense and...warm, im glad yet confused, i should ask the voice about it.

Later that night after diner and after ever one was asleep (i made sure of it.) I sneacked out a little from the camp and dug myself a hole with my hands.

So that's where i am now, on my hands and knees, kneeling over a self made hole in the ground with my finger down my throat heaving into the hole with tears streaming down my cheeks like rivers.

For the passed 5 days i have been spirling deeper into something i never delt with, and i now have to question, am i sain? Perhaps insanity is somthing i should search up and see for myself...

But for now im my mind i am sain and dont need help, i could care less about the out side world.

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Ok... So yeah i dont think its that good but ok, anywho please keep reading and please remember R&R So till next time BYE Remeber 5 reviews.