-1Save the Princess! by Truro

Every story has its hero. The protagonist who strives towards his goal. Every story has its villain. The antagonist who makes it his duty to bring about the failure of the hero. And every story has its princess. Who sometimes, just gets everyone's fur up.

Violet, was one such princess. A cute eighteen year old bunny, raised mostly by her father; the much eccentric Emperor. Spending most of her life in power, without a strong female figure to guide her, Vi wasn't exactly the stereotype for a fairytale princess.

The bunny was scurrying down a far corridor of the palace, using a rabbits naturally amazing speed to get away from her maid of honour. It was almost time for her tuition to start. But today was too nice a day to be sitting around doing school work. The blue sky was clear from the acne of clouds, and the golden sun gently warmed the country, sparkling off the lime green grass. All Violet wanted to do at the moment, was go out and play.

Bad Bird hung in the shadows, like a black falcon, ready to break the back of its unwary prey. Vi had entered the room. She hadn't seen him. Her head bobbed out of the room, to see if her maid had caught up. She hadn't. Vi considered herself lucky to escape. But had she really been lucky? Sliding his dark wings open, Bad Bird swooped, with his talons locked out.

Two hours had passed. The sun was beginning to end the day, drifting down the western skies. The warm golden glow relaxed people, about to finish work, and head home to their loved ones.

"If I find one spec of dirt on that floor, Speedy, I'll crack your helmet open and use your hair as a mop!"

"Yes, your majesty." Speedy's sarcasm was undisguised. Polly's mood grew worse, it seemed.

"Listen you little twerp!" yelled the dictator of the pizza kitchen, "I've been up all morning cleaning up the paint spillage, from last night! So the least you could do is keep the lobby spotless, you jerk!"

Speedy stood silent. Not surprised, but perfectly calm, as he held his mop. Standing there, unphased, with a relaxed look in his soft eyes.

"Has anyone told you, that you're really cute, when you whine?"

Polly's face frazzled as red as her helmet.

"You…you…!" she struggled to find the words. In the end she gave up. She turned on her heel, gave a "Rah!" and stopped back to the kitchen.

Al Dente soon made the call.

"Kidnapped?!" Speedy shrieked

"Most likely." said big Al, "On one of the palace walls, there's a bad Bird shaped hole, and right next to it is a Vi shaped hole of the same nature."

"Well we know who's behind the princesses disappearance." said Polly, "Any idea where he took her?"

"By the look of the recordings a conspiracy nut took, while looking for UFOs, he's taken her somewhere in the forest. You know, the one where that old ninja hideout was built into the waterfall."

"Don't worry boss! We'll rescue the princess!" said Speedy with much enthusiasm.

The heroes burst out of the launcher, and roared through the golden sky towards the forest. Birds in the forest sang, as they gracefully landed-

Flat on their faces.

"Oops! Sorry!" said Francine, forgetting that the victims of her miscalculated launch were miles away, and couldn't hear.

The trio picked themselves up, from the muddy slush they dive bombed into.

"One day, I swear, Francine's gonna pay for this." said Polly, "The mud's leaked into my helmet, and messed my hair up!"

"How do you think I feel?" called Speedy, "Mud stains show up more on white armour!"

The trio decided to have a quick wash before commencing the rescue operation. Forgetting their chivalry, the boys are the first to make use of the river.

"They don't pay me enough for this, Guido." Speedy sighed heavily, "Sometimes I think I'm not cut out for this super hero business. At times like this I wonder why I haven't thrown in the towel."

A look of sheer horror burst onto Guido's face. The words he had just heard, couldn't have been said. He didn't think it was possible. No matter how intense things became, no matter how rough they ever had it, he never imagined, in his wildest dreams, that Speedy Cervichie would every utter a single word along those lines.

"You mean…"

The leader removed his helmet. A spiky wave of midnight black hair cascaded down, reaching the bottom of his neck. He turned to see his partner, whose face was fixed in an expression that could be the offspring of shock and sadness.

"…you get paid?"

"Are you done yet?" asked Polly, peeping from behind a tree.

"Ah!" the boys dunked their heads below the surface of the water, to hide their naked bodies.

"Men are such babies." she moaned, "I did biology in school. Its nothing I haven't seen before."

But when it was her turn to wash…

"What are you doing with that camera, Guido?!"

"Don't tell me you weren't waiting for a chance like this!" he said with his trademark rogue smile.

"You peeping tom!" Speedy grabbed for the camera, "Have you no respect for privacy?" the words exploded from his mouth. Guido leapt up into the branches, as Polly came round the tree, wrapped in a towel. It was then that Speedy noticed how the setting sunlight gave Polly's scarlet hair a radiant glow. She was beautifully illuminated. Her soft flesh looked inviting. Polly's face faded to an expression of undisguised fury. For it was then, that Speedy realised that he was still holding the camera.

Meanwhile, our favourite crooked crow (Unless of course Jerry is your favourite) was unwinding with a cup of tea, in one of the rooms of the ninja hideout. He was contemplating how he could tell the story of how he kidnapped the princess. His original plan of jumping the rabbit from behind, silencing her with his talon, and dragging her back into the shadows would have worked fine, but he thought about how he could spice up the tale. And nothing dirty, before you ask.

How embarrassing it would be, if anyone found out that he actually tripped over his own talons, just before he could grab the girl. She spotted him, and having a bit of an attraction to bad boys, she chased him all the way back to the hideout.

To think, the strongest crow in the squadron was displayed cowardice, at the hands of a pampered little princess. His eyes glanced over to the robot. A scarecrow with a tengu mask on a pogo stick. A ridiculous looking contraption, but it was apparently made from strong stuff. Iridium had been added to the metal, as an experiment, to increase the defence, and on the bottom of the spring, was a razor sharp point. Perhaps this one would actually survive a battle with the pizza cats.

Well, the Princess was being kept in a comfortable room, under lock, key, barricade, and industrial strength, battering-ram-proof iron. Now Birdy could relax. Reaching his pocket, he pulled out a packet of cigarettes. A piece of paper fluttered to the floor. The irritated crow got out of his seat and picked it up. He wanted to keep a tidy office, dirtied only by cigarette ash, in the tray. Curiosity taking over, he opened the paper, to see what was written. A tidal wave of shock slammed onto him, as his dilated eyes swooped the page. He realised that his plan to kidnap the princess had just backfired in the most horrible way imaginable-

He forgot to leave the ransom note.

The three cats were approaching the hideout. Guido was admiring how the recent bruise circling Speedy's eye brought out the green of his iris. Polly still had a scowl on her young face, like many a violated virgin. Speedy led on. He walk in an upright manner, and moved in a proud, dignified manner. The others were beginning to notice this. Speedy was usually the lovable goof.

"What's got into you all of a sudden?" asked Guido,

"When I was a kid, my dad used to read me stories of white knights rescuing damsels and fair princesses." the noticed the excitement in his voice, and the enthusiasm twinkled in his eyes.

"I've always wanted to do something like that, no matter how politically incorrect it seems by today's standards. And now that I'm a samurai, I can!"

Polly couldn't explain the expression on his face.

Excitement? Lust? An overload of knightly virtue? If it is lust, what does Vi have that I don't?

Did I really think THAT?!

And her face began to redden

They finally approached the cave. There perched outside, where the usual squadron of ninja crows. Speedy's eyes lit up, as if he were hypnotised by the whole situation.

"Okay guys." he whispered with a level of malevolence, "We'll take them out quickly and quietly." his voice was suddenly deep, and gruff. Like an cynical ninja master. He was really getting into this white knight act.

They prowled around, like a pride of lions, ready to circle in, and pounce. Like angels of the night, they would strike- swift and silent. Leaving not a trace of the battle. Thus is the way of the legendry ninja cat.

"BANZAI!" Speedy's voice returned to its usually height, as he burst from his hiding place, like a maniac, driving into the fray.

"Swift as silent." Polly, mimicked, "As a bull in a china shop."

Speedy flashed his fist into one ninja's face, pounded him in the stomach, and finished him off, a megaton uppercut. One crow tried to jump him from behind, but was grabbed by the wily samurai , and thrown head first into the wall, of the waterfall. Guido came flying into the melee, with a sliding tackle kick, and followed up with a devastating blow to the stomach, that sent a ninja crow flying onto his back. Polly came dancing into her adversary with a series of rythmatic roundhouse kicks. Feathers, and bits of broken armour flew in every direction.

Bad Bird flew from his seat, and raced down to the entrance to the hideout, with Scare-Tengu trailing behind.

Speedy was siluetted against the setting sun, like a noble tiger, standing proudly against the heartless fury of the jungle.

"Release the princess at one you crowing cad!" he boomed, the knight fantasy showing its colours.

"Do you honestly expect me to do what you tell me?" snarled the crow, "I'm not on your payroll, so I don't have to take orders from you!" the crow flew onto a perch in a tree, where he could oversee the battle.

"Scare-Tengu, attack!"

The robot leapt at the cats, who scattered out of its way. Speedy drew his sword,

"Polly! Guido! Go get the princess! I'll take care of the robot!"

A cackle escaped Bad Bird's beak. "Try all you want, but you'll never break the door down!"

Speedy swung his sword in a carte slash, as the robot sprang out of the way. His eyes darting towards the skies, he leapt after it. The sword grazed the machine. Speedy was stunned at the endurance of the metal. The Scare-Tengu span like a tornado, smashing Speedy's face with a machine gun volley of hook punches. The samurai hit the ground with a pounding crash. Bad Bird let out a cackling laugh, as he watched his nemesis rise to his feet. The crow decided that once the time was right, he would swoop like a vulture and finish Speedy with a single blow. But now was not the time. The tiger still had plenty of fight left in him.

A few feet away, Guido and Polly came face to face with the industrial strength door.

They couldn't find a keyhole so resorted to the only sensible thing they could do-

Brute force.

Polly hammered away at the door, her fists crashing into the hard metal, sending a banging noise, thundering through the forest. She kept punching until the pain barrier sunk in. Falling to her knees, she massages her knuckles with the palm of her hand. She was thankful to fate for giving her the vanity to use moisturising cream every morning.

Guido rubbed his chin, with his thumb and forefinger. Searching along the metal barricade, his dark eyes met the cave wall, the door was wedged between.

"No sign of any hinges." he said. "Maybe if we use enough force, we can pull it away."

"Beats having to wear a sling, any day." said Polly stroking her throbbing fist, like a precious stone.

Speedy and the Scare-Tengu leapt all over the place. It was like an episode of Sylvester and Tweety, with the roles reversed. He landed, and immediately had to take flight again, ah the robot came crashing down, in an attempt to crush the cat. Speedy spotted Guido and Polly struggling with giant door. The robot came down on him again. That had to be a pretty powerful spring. Leaping out of the way, to the background sound of Bad Bird's increasingly annoying cackling, an idea hit Speedy. He wasn't the sharpest sword on the rack, but his little idea could help turn the situation around.

He leaped onto a tree, that was ejasoned to the metal door. The brave samurai cat held on with all four paws, and shooting an arrogant grin at the Tengu, as if daring it to attack. The robot leapt at Speedy, with it's epee point glistening with bloodlust. At the last moment, the hero ducked out of the way, as the tengu smashed into the tree, spring first. The epee point stuck the metallic jack in the box fast to the tree. Bad Bird's lower jaw dropped all the way to his rib cage. Now was the time, Speedy though, to strike! Grabbing the robot, the cat held it at just the right angle, and used his enormous strength to push the spring closed. Reaching for his sword, he slashed at the piece of bark, the robot was jammed into, and released the pressure. Scare-Tengu shot across the field like a rocket, and smashed into the bottom half of the giant door. The loss of balance, brought the giant metal panel crashing down. With much speedy, and girlish screaming, Guido and Polly jumped out of the way just in time. Scare-Tengu wasn't so fortunate. It had been crushed by the ludicrous weight of the door.

Speedy's proud eyes glanced at Bad Bird.

"Still want to try your luck?" he sneered. The ninja crow gave a middle-finger salute and flapped away.

Speedy ran to the now open door. Princes vi was sipping a cup of tea.

"We're hear to rescue you, your highness!" he announced, shoving Guido aside.

"Not now." said Vi, "Can't you see I'm…" then she saw her hansom rescuer. "Wow! You're cute!" he bunny-hopped into his arms, and pinned him to the floor.

"My knight in shining armour!" she giggled girlishly. Guido and Polly found this amusing.

"You did say you dreamt about rescuing a princess, 'White Knight'." Guido grinned.

"And you know what happens at the end of the fairy tale." added Polly, with a smirk, "The knight gets kissed by the princess."

"C'mon, Polly." said Guido, turning tail, "Lets give these love birds some privacy." and they jetted away, with Speedy shouting after them.

Polly looked back, as Speedy struggled in Vi's embrace.

Maybe I should…what am I thinking! No way!

Her face was red for the next five minutes.

Bad Bird was on bended knee, in front of the Big Cheese. Ready to be blown up for the 57th time.

"The pizza cats rescued the princess sir. I failed."

"Did we really fail though?" surprisingly, there was no hostility in Seymour's voice. When he turned around, he was actually smiling.

"We didn't get any ransom money, but at least we got the Pizza Cats out of town for a few hours."

"You mean, it was just a diversion, all along?" the crow didn't know what was more surprising- The fact that the boss had planned ahead, or the fact that he wasn't in one of his moods, for one.

"Exactly. While the cats are away, the rat has time to play. While you were dealing with the cat, I took this opportunity to do a little 'shopping'." a crate was placed in the corner by a pair of foot solider crows. Big Cheese opened it, and showed the contents to his enforcer.

"That's brilliant!" gasped Bad Bird.

"As my knight, you have to buy me dinner. That's how the fairy tales go!"

"That's it. I'm switching to mystery novels." groaned Speedy.

To be continued.