Author's note: IMPORTANT!!!! The parts in italics are from Draco's conversation with Lucius. The rest is in present time.

The school itself looked every bit the daunting figure.

Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry loomed perilously in the distance. It's tall towers pierced the moonlit sky forebodingly, creating an aura of darkness around it.

Yet somehow no one feared it. Somehow it was looked upon as a place of safety and ignorance. No more so was the school to any other person at the moment than Draco Malfoy.

Sitting alone in a quiet compartment on the Hogwarts express was the Malfoy heir, staring off distantly at Hogwarts.

It had always been a place to escape to in the past. Somewhere where he didn't have to live under the constant scrutiny of his father. Now it was the only place where he could remain sane.

"Draco," a voice called.

He paused outside his father's study. Tomorrow was the day he left for Hogwarts, so he figured it must be about school. Unfortunately things couldn't be that simple

"Yes father?"

"Come here for a moment, Draco. I need to speak with you about something urgent."

Moving obediently into the room, he spotted his father sitting behind his old mahogany desk. Draco had been told on countless occasions the history of which it had been passed down and its worth that it had accumulated over the years. Lucius drummed his fingers impatiently on said desk as his son approached him.

"Your first task has been arranged."

Draco stiffened immediately. He had been aware that his father planned to initiate him as a Death Eater, but the ignorant side of him had pushed it aside, telling himself that it would come later. It seemed that later had just become now.

Lucius smiled cruelly.

"Why son, don't you want to hear what we have planned for you?"

The feast was the same as usual, and he watched quietly as all havoc exploded around him. And damn it was too fucking loud. He hated noise. All noise. Anything that moved over the required limit of sound made him want to scream and punch the walls repeatedly. Fighting the strong urge to clamp his hands over his ears, he searched the room for her.

And there she was.

Flanked by her two guardians, there sat the pristine Gryffindor princess Hermione Granger. He had taken it upon himself ever since last year to watch her. In the beginning he had convinced himself he was doing it because he though they were planning something against Slytherin. Vaguely he remembered the different arguments with himself he had over the topic, trying to be convinced that he wasn't really infatuated with her.

But the truth was he was completely and utterly obsessed.

He wasted hours contemplating the way her wavy hair fell lightly onto her back, how she could possibly have compassion for everyone, even those who had previously hated her. The girl approaching her now was living proof of that.

Pansy Parkinson at the end of last year had been disowned. No one knew why, for she never cared to talk about it, and no one really wanted to know. Especially the Slytherins. As soon as this event had occurred she had been completely ostracized from her entire house. Draco himself felt bad for her, but in fear of being in her same situation said nothing. The Slytherins wanted nothing to do with her, and neither of the other three houses did either. Which was where Hermione Granger came in.

She had taken her in, welcomed her to be friends. Eventually Pansy accepted the friendship, and soon Hermione had made her friends with the entirety of the Gryffindor house.

He was pretty sure there wasn't one person on the entire earth that Hermione wouldn't care for given time. That combined with her sheer beauty was what made her so fascinating. The possibility (even though he'd never admit this to anyone) that she could care for him as much as she cared for her other friends was invigorating.

Having never truly felt love before, he'd always been curious as to what it would be like. Even though he'd never felt it, he knew that Hermione Granger was full of it. You could tell by the way she walked, she talked, the way she smiled even, that she was a person to love. To love anyone. Anyone who would let her. But of course she could never know that, least from him of course. He was quite happy to observe from afar.

And this is where his plan got fantastically screwed.

Four words. Head boy and Girl.

He had never anticipated becoming Head Boy. Granger sure, she had the position hands-down. But never in his wildest dreams had he imagined getting the same honor. She was the almighty golden girl. He couldn't possibly understand how Dumbledore could think he deserved the same title as she.

Dinner ended quickly, meaning the dreaded task of meeting her in their new common room. Thankfully they had both been in the common room once before while the teachers were present. That way when they were both alone he wouldn't have to spend any more time than necessary in the room with her, ooh-ing and ahhh-ing.

He muttered the password quietly to the portrait, continuing on up to his room in a flash.

He made it without incident. In fact, he was pretty sure she wasn't even in the common room. Optimistically he hoped that the entire year would pass without incident. But of course it wasn't possible.

He settled into his bed, thinking of his task distantly, hoping for some way out of it. Concluding that it was impossible, he drifted off to sleep.

"No"

It was such a small word, no. But it had taken up every ounce of his courage to say it.

His father's eyes widened in shock, amazed that his son would dare defy him.

"What did you just say?" his father said icily.

(Damn he was going to make me say it again)

"No"

He smiled, shaking his head. He sighed, as if about to explain something to a petulant and ignorant child.

"You seem to be under a misapprehension that you have a choice in the matter."

Draco's eyes hardened, and a fierce determination welled inside him.

"I'm not becoming a Death Eater. I'm saying no."

Gets easier every time.

Finally Lucius seemed to understand that his son was completely serious.

He hadn't been aware of his father moving. All he knew was one second Lucius' hand was down by his side, and in the next his wand was pointed in his son's face.

"You will be a Death Eater. Maybe you don't realize, but I will kill you if you refuse. Just tell me right now"

Saying no was one thing, saying no with a wand pointed in his face was another. He swallowed, he was a bloody coward and he knew it.

"Ok."

Lucius smiled.

"Good, now let's discuss your task."

He awoke to screaming.

That alone would've had him jumping out of his bed and scrambling for his wand. The fact that he recognized it as Hermione's voice made him move twice as fast.

He barreled into her room to find her writhing and crying.

And fast asleep.

Understanding lit his eyes, and he cautiously made his way towards her bed. Carefully he reached out a hand, and tentatively stroked her hair with it.

The effect was almost instantaneous.

Suddenly the sobs stopped, and her body stopped shaking. Immediately relaxing, he continued to brush his fingers through her soft locks, liking the feeling too much to stop. A soft smile graced her face, and she pressed herself deeper into her covers, finally at rest.

With a small sigh, he turned to leave when he heard a small voice.

"Thank you."

He froze immediately, embarrassed at being caught, and turned to face her.

Her face showed no signs of teasing, and seemed genuinely thankful. Once again he found himself in awe of this wonderful creature. But of course, she could never know that.

"I heard you screaming and came to thank whatever was killing you."

She didn't even flinch as he said this, but instead seemed to understand. Why he needed for her to understand that he wasn't there because he was afraid for her.

"They ran off. They weren't expecting someone to save me this time"

He tried not to let the meaning of her words sink in, and instead focused on how she said "this time."

"You have these dreams a lot then."

She nodded absently.

"Every night since the end of last year."

"It really is simple once you think about it."

"You mean the task?"

"Of course I mean the task! What else would I be referring to?"

Silently, he moved to leave, when suddenly a small hand grabbed his wrist.

"No, stay here. Just lie next to me."

Without speaking, he obliged, lifting himself into the bed. Carefully, she pulled his arms around her so that her back was pressed to his stomach, and he couldn't help but notice what a small frail body she had.

She sighed contentedly and murmured a goodnight. His wand was pressed between her body and the bed where it had been forgotten long ago.

He trembled slightly as tried to think of what his father had planned for him, but the real thing was so much worse than imagined.

Her breathing slowed eventually, until he was sure she was asleep. Draco stared at her body wrapped in his arms. She was beautiful. In that one shocking moment he realized it. Before he had always thought that maybe he felt something for her more than fascination, but he wasn't sure. Now he knew that he loved her.

"I want you to kill Hermione Granger."

Carefully he pulled his wand out from beneath her body and removed his arms from around her. Turning her carefully onto her back he looked at her peaceful face. Trembling, he realized that he had no right to be doing this. She was probably the most caring person in the entire world, and he was about to kill her. At least he wouldn't have to look into her eyes as it happened.

"Avada Kedavra." he whispered.

And like the bitch that life is, her eyes opened at the last second, looking straight into his.

He watched the life leech from her warm brown eyes.

There was confusion still etched on her face, as if she was tired and couldn't understand what was happening. Silent tears fell down his face.

But he had done it. He wasn't a Gryffindor, he was a coward. He couldn't even save the one he loved in place of himself. And as much as he hated it, he wanted to live. He was too damn afraid to die.

And there was no going back now.

Draco Malfoy, welcome to the black parade.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: please review!!! No one reviewed my last story so I deleted it. Please just take that one extra minute to leave a comment!