Author Notes:
This chapter is something I have been holding off of for a while, exploring the other two members of Bad Luck. Because SO much goes on in my head sometimes about these two, I just get flooded with ideas. Anyway, that's not important right now.
This chapter covers Shuichi opening up to his bandmates. But it still annoys me because it's really SLOW! In any case, its kind of necessary. The pace picks up after this, I promise. For now, enjoy.

Hiroshi hadn't been feeling well.

He'd been worried, stressed and thinking too much. He hadn't been getting enough sleep, Ayaka's family had been giving him shit, Shuichi wasn't himself, and Suguru was… never mind that. And K, well that damned American was as big a headache as he had ever been. Hiro was tired of arguing with them, tired of worrying, and very annoyed Shuichi had been neglecting him… he pushed that last thought away. He of all people should know was not the time to get selfish about one's best friend.

Turning over on the bed, Hiro watched Shuichi sleep. Little squirt, he thought affectionately. Reaching over, he rumpled Shu's hair, noting it wasn't the same texture he was used to and that it seemed thinner than before. In his sleep, Shu moved a little into the touch, seeking the warmth and affection in it. Hiro sighed, noticing this was far from Shuichi's usual and normal crash-out way of sleeping. The little runt only ever reacted like this when he was quite desperate and sad.

"Hey," Suguru called softly from the doorway. Hiro lifted his head a little to briefly meet the synth-master's eyes before rolling over and getting up. "I ordered room service sushi for breakfast. Figured it was about the time you usually wake."

Hiro nodded, stepping after Suguru out of the room and closing the door behind them. "Yeah, that's fine," he rasped, making for the bathroom. "I'll be right back."

Completing his morning routine, he stepped back out into the hotel main room and flopped over on the couch beside Suguru who was going over some jottings in his notebook. Not missing the mess of music sheets, notes, and the smaller keyboard his band-mate used to just mesh out beat combos, he asked, "Have you been up long?"

"Couple of hours," Suguru vaguely replied without looking up.

Hiro snorted softly and closed his eyes. "Didn't sleep much either, huh?"

Giving up on the notes and letting his arm flop down in his lap Suguru admitted on a sigh, "Barely an hour."

"This can't go on," Hiro decided firmly, "This has to change. And he has to talk." Suguru chewed on his lip, remaining quiet and the guitarist stared at him. "What?"

"From what I understand of what you told me, Hiro," Suguru said slowly, "Shuichi rejected Yuki-san and walked away because he pushed too hard. Shuichi doesn't want to talk about this, and we are underestimating how far he will go to keep this matter to himself."

"The hell are we going to do then?" the guitarist snarled, sitting up, "Just let him waste away before our very eyes?"

"No, of course not," Suguru explained, waving his hand at Hiro to indicate to lower his voice, "I am just saying that we need to ask Shuichi to tell us more, but perhaps not everything."

"You're a saint if you have the patience," Hiro growled, flopping back on the couch over the armrest, a hand over his eyes.

"You're just frustrated after all the nights of no sleep," Suguru reasoned. "As soon as Shuichi turns his pretty purple eyes on you, you're mush and you know it."

"Tch!" Hiro huffed.

"Try to calm down before Shuichi awakens," Suguru suggested quietly, "I know you're stressed."

"I wish sometimes it was just Shu I had to worry about," Hiro said quietly. "In some part of my heart, I always feel that everything is going to be okay where he's concerned. You know? Shuichi's always been okay."

After a few moments, Suguru asked politely, "How are things with Ayaka?"

"Going to shit, what do you think?" the guitarist muttered, "Her family doesn't think I'm good enough. I answered all their questions about my background and family, expounded on every damn detail they prodded into. And from Ayaka's suspicions, they were able to contact my mother."

Suguru winced. "Oh dear," he murmured, but not loud enough that he missed the gasp from the bedroom. He looked up to meet his singer's half-shut swollen eyes peeking from the slightly open doorway.

He didn't need to call Shuichi out on it because the little singer came out on his own, small and silent footsteps out to Hiro's side where he knelt on the carpeting to lay his head on Hiro's chest, nose to the guitarist's neck. His thin arms wrapped around Hiro's shoulders and he held his best friend tightly. Hiro clasped Shu's elbow, acknowledging the gesture and tilted his chin to rest it on the singer's head.

Suguru watched them and admired their friendship, this bond which seemed to withstand anything.

He had seen them snipe and bicker, but for the entire negative mood to vanish in the next instant when someone asked a question… or if they had to make a decision on where to eat and what to order. Their relationship made him laugh, warmed his heart, and more than anything he wished he had that, that he could share it. Oh, he was becoming part of it now, slowly and surely every day. He felt it in the way Shuichi didn't mind his complaining so much, in the way Hiroshi teased him for being a 'tight-ass'.

But he was still envious.

They whispered now to each other, Shuichi giving his best friend his undivided attention and brushing aside Hiro's murmurs about his eyes and his own state. Hiro only just started to tell Shuichi his and Ayaka's story when there was a knock on the door; neither of them noticed. Suguru smiled to himself and went to let the bellboy in.

The young man recognised Suguru the moment he opened the door, eyes widening and shaky voice stuttering over his pre-programmed script. Suguru ushered him in, instructing the young man to leave the trolley by the little dining area where the bell boy happened to notice the two other band members nearby in quiet discussion, ignoring everything around them but each other. The bellboy bowed to them anyway, accepting Suguru's tip and stiffly making his way back out thankfully without any fan-like behaviour.

After checking the covered dishes and determining what was where, he checked over the drinks. There was nothing left to do but collect his mess and try to get organised. As he picked up a sheet of paper from by Shuichi's leg, the singer reached out and closed a hand around his wrist. Suguru looked up at Shu, then at Hiro, but they were both still talking softly, eyes only on each other.

But the hand was around his wrist.

Suguru blinked at it.

A few moments later, with his free hand, he reached and set the papers in his hands on the coffee table then knelt by Shuichi's side. Unable to resist, following his singer's example, he leaned over and set his cheek on Hiro's stomach, his face to Shuichi's shoulder. They moved on him together, the singer's arm came up and held him resting lightly across his chest, and one of Hiro's large calloused hands came to rest over his back.

He breathed quietly for a few moments, just absorbing their touch. Then, closing his eyes, he smiled.

--

Breakfast was an amazing affair.

It turned out they had been saving more than just bad news from each other: Suguru pulled out a box of game cartridges when Hiroshi unwrapped the new Play Station 3 he had managed to fetch before they went on tour. But then Shuichi pulled out a Nintendo Wii and some games to go with, which both Suguru and Hiro zeroed in on, abandoning the Play Station.

They jumped, reached, gestured and laughed their way through the games, making asses of themselves. Hiro and Shuichi ganged up on Suguru, Suguru and Shuichi ganged up on Hiro, and Shuichi and Hiro ganged up on Suguru, so on and so forth so long as it made everyone laugh. They heckled and cheered and bonded all over again, generally having so much fun they didn't even notice when Mr K managed to sneak in…

"Sneak in?" Suguru asked doubtfully.

"You never sneak in," Hiro pointed out. "You don't even knock unless someone else is with you and reminds you manners actually exist."

"Are sure you're feeling well?" Shuichi asked which, coming from him, seemed ridiculous because his eyes were swollen almost all the way shut from last night's tears.

"Shut up," K said in English. He switched back to Japanese when he growled, "Look, you punks. All I know is, I come to check on you and you're having fun without me. How is that fair?" The trio grinned evilly with each other, and K put his hands on his hips and glowered.

"Quit complaining and sit down," Suguru told him, "But you'll have to wait your turn on the controller."

"Awww…" Shuichi cooed.

"Gosh, K, we didn't know you really felt so close to us…" Hiro winked.

K rolled his eyes and made to join them on the couch but all three members ordered sharply in unison, "Take your guns off first!" and chased afterwards, in varying tones of panic, "And whatever else you're carrying!"

They passed the afternoon in laughter and joking, calling for more room service and consuming more than they probably should. An ice pack had been ordered up for Shuichi's eyes but it had melted so they called for another one, trying to use the excuse that Shu needed to lie down to use it in justification he should miss his turn on the controller.

They ignored the original itinerary of having a day out in Kyoto City and just stayed in their suite. They didn't talk about anything except the here and now, ignoring life beyond the hotel room door. By unspoken agreement, they knew there was enough time for that all later anyway.

Suguru caught Hiro checking his phone a few times but said nothing, only shaking his head when the guitarist mouthed his girlfriend's name by explanation. Shuichi and Mr K didn't seem to care so it wasn't a big deal.

Really.

K pulled Suguru aside later in the day, before he left, to quietly tell him to make sure Hiroshi gave the singer Yuki-san's letter. Worriedly, the synth-master wondered if he would be allowed to read the note himself. It wasn't that he didn't trust Shu or Hiro, but neither were thinking straight and he didn't want the note to be cause for yet more trouble between them all.

When Suguru called for tea after Mr K left, wordlessly both Hiro and Shuichi shut the gaming console off and gathered up the controllers. They headed into Hiro's room to put it away and Suguru followed, tea tray in hand. They climbed into the big bed together like children, and sat in a half circle cradling their mugs, talking about the games they'd played.

When silence finally descended, the yellow and orange of the setting sun streamed patterns on the room floor.

"I feel like I'm six years old again," Suguru muttered, plucking at the coverlet on his lap then reaching to set his mug down.

Hiro polished off his tea then asked, "Was that the last time you did something like this?"

"Yeah, with cousins," He smiled at the memory, "On my father's side of course." Shuichi snickered and Suguru had the impression the singer was imaging Touma as part of the snuggling picture. Hiro had a funny expression on his face too. He mused aloud, "Touma in this situation would be just… wrong." Hiro and Shuichi chuckled, and Suguru realised he'd been right.

"Or creepy," Shu said, downing the last of his drink and setting the mug aside.

"You're creepy," Hiro accused, "You're the one who imagined it!"

"You're just as guilty," Shuichi fired back. "You were thinking the same thing."

"I was thinking that it was what you were thinking," Hiro's eyes sparkled, "I didn't think it for myself."

"Well, I know you were thinking it because you really were thinking it whether you thought it for me or not, and don't say you weren't thinking it because you did… think it…" Shuichi trailed off, looking confused, and Suguru and Hiro laughed.

"Mou" Shuichi whined, "That made sense, didn't it?"

"It made Shuichi-sense," the other two said together and, leaning on each other, laughed again.

"Ne," Shu said, smiling, "You two look good together."

Suguru stilled, and forced himself not to stiffen when Hiro threw an arm nonchalantly around his shoulders leaning close and pressing near to exaggeratedly make a 'better' picture of them. He forced a smile to his lips which Shuichi flashed him a funny look for, so he stopped.

"We three look good together," Hiro corrected, sitting up again, missing the expression on Suguru's face.

"Yeah, we do!" Shuichi agreed loudly. He sobered and turned a little serious when he said, "I wish we could this way for always."

Without thinking, Suguru reached over and laid a hand on Shu's knee. Then he realised Hiro had reached over at the same time to the singer's shoulder. A little uncomfortably, unfamiliar with such a situation, he murmured, "I am sure I can speak for Hiro when I say that… we wish for that too." It sounded awkward to his ears. But then he noticed that Hiro mirrored his expression and posture of worry, and realised there was no such thing as 'awkward' right now at all.

"I… I'm sorry," Shuichi said, looking down.

Suguru exchanged a puzzled glance with Hiro. Shuichi's voice held no indication of withdrawing so it wasn't that he would talk… Hiro shrugged at him and, puzzled, he hesitantly asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"Shu?" Hiro prodded when the singer remained silent, hair blocking their view of his eyes.

Shuichi looked up and he seemed to be on the verge of tears when he wailed, "I'm a horrible best friend!" He sniffed, "I didn't even realise something was wrong with either of you!"

Hiro breathed a sigh of relief and chided, "Don't get so dramatic, you imp!" He chuckled, "I was holding my breath for a moment there."

"I've been so selfish…" Shu buried his face in his hands. Suguru rubbed his knee comfortingly and Hiro shook his head. They laughed when Shuichi added, "And you're not even correcting me or telling me its okay so I really know I've been selfish!"

Then it hit Suguru. Shuichi had said he'd been a horrible best friend… and that he hadn't noticed anything wrong with either of them. His heart warmed at the thought, then suddenly clenched at the realisation the singer had caught him. Oh dear, indeed. Inwardly, he cringed because at this point, he could only hope Hiro didn't try to get them all to talk.

The guitarist was making soothing noises in between trying not to chuckle. When Shuichi gave a wet pout, Hiro gave up and Suguru joined him in laughter. "You're such a brat, Shu. But don't worry, Suguru and I know that all too well so we still love you anyway." He added, "I forgive you."

"I'm sorry," Shuichi repeated, this time to Suguru.

Shaking his head, the synth-master gave a soft smile, "Don't worry about it."

"Thanks," Shu murmured, smiling. He turned to Hiro, "Is there anything either of us can do?"

"I don't think so," the guitarist admitted. "Things were hardly going well to begin with. I mean, say, Ayaka doesn't really mind that I smoke. But when we come back from a date, her parents talk about her smelling like smoke as testament to spending time with 'that boy'." He shook his head, "And we spend too little time together as it is, I just wanted to make things work."

"You have been smoking less lately," Shuichi said to himself, as though thinking aloud. Then he tilted his head to one side when he said, "You said you wanted to make things work… that's past tense."

Suguru watched Hiro's expression carefully when he said, "Yeah…" he shrugged, "I kinda realised earlier when we talked that my relationship with Ayaka probably… you know… isn't going to work."

Hiroshi never made a decision lightly, so his hesitance to say the words spoke volumes. Suguru observed softly, "You don't want to just give up." He was surprised to realise that he and Shuichi had spoken the same words at the same time.

But then Shu, watching Hiro closely, said, "And yet, to some extent, you want to let her go." Suguru's brows rose at this, thinking, the clever moppet.

Suguru remained silent, he had little advice or opinion to offer at this point, having never had a meaningful romantic relationship in his life. There had been times over-zealous fan-girls had accosted him in clubs and dragged him off into a corner for kisses and some cuddling. And really some women could be too pushy, he didn't want that… Okay, so he'd enjoyed it, but that wasn't what he wanted. And suddenly…

"What do you want?"

"Hmm?" Hiro turned puzzled gray eyes on him, and Suguru looked away feeling his mouth go dry with nervousness. He hadn't been thinking when he'd asked.

"I mean, what do you want in a relationship?" His mind began to wrap around the idea, gaining momentum, "Do you know what you want from a relationship and not necessarily from Usami-san per se?"

Hiro thought about that then mused aloud, "I guess when you put it that way…" His eyes cleared a little and he said, "I… do actually have an idea of what I want."

"Can you name one?" Suguru asked, watching Shuichi turn to look at them each as they spoke and looking like he was watching the ball at a tennis match.

"I don't want to be made to feel guilty for spending time with my girlfriend, for one."

"Anything else?"

"I want to be able to spend time with her when I want to," the guitarist's expression darkened a little, "And not because we managed to sidestep roadblocks her family set in our way."

"Sounds to me you have a problem with Ayaka's family and not Ayaka," Shuichi murmured.

"But Ayaka's decision making is affected by her family's priorities…"

Suguru filled in the blank, "Even when Usami-san came to Tokyo without her family's knowledge to find Yuki-san, I think it was because she felt she could get him to listen to her better than their families could."

"She never loved him," Shuichi finished. "In fact, she was the one who told me where to find him when he went back to Kyoto that time."(1)

Hiro scrubbed at his hair with some frustration. "Argh… I knew I was going to end up here."

"I'm sorry, Hiro," Suguru murmured. He said no more when, at that moment the guitarist rubbed his eyes, Shuichi flashed him a look that clearly said 'oh no you're not', accompanied by a small sad smile.

"I'm sorry too," Shu echoed, then asked Do you know what you're going to do?"

"I'll think about it some more," the guitarist sighed. "Try and figure out what to say. She probably won't even be surprised."

"She will," Shuichi contradicted softly. "She went against her parents to be with you. That's something we just agreed isn't her style."

"I don't want to hurt her," Hiro said, looking worried.

"Then will you hurt for her?" Shuichi asked softly. Suguru felt certain not only he caught the strange tone in the singer's voice when he asked that, but neither commented.

"I… No," Hiro admitted, "I can't. I guess I'm selfish that way."

A strange expression flashed over Shuichi's face before he leaned over and hugged Hiro tightly, "You're not selfish at all. It's just normal to not want to hurt." There was a pause, "I want you to be happy, Hiro. You too, Suguru. I don't want to be part of anything that ever makes either of you sad."

"Shuichi?" Hiro flashed Suguru a worried look at the singer's behaviour. "Are you… are you okay?"

"I'm better," Shu said, sitting back again. He reached over and took Suguru's hand. "I'm better when I'm with you two."

Suguru and Hiro exchanged yet another worried glance. Hiro asked, "Will you talk to us? Even a little?"

"Even if it's just part of your troubles, and not all of it," Suguru added, "We want to help." An idea hit him, "Because you know, we don't want you to hurt just as much as you don't want us to. Please?"

Shuichi smiled at him and Suguru felt the answering smile tug at his own lips. Hiro waited, almost holding his breath. And Suguru found his palms had turned a little sweaty.

"Yes," Shuichi said softly, resettling himself and getting comfortable. He looked up at them and smiled at each in turn, "I'll talk."

(1) Taken from the Anime series, Usami Ayaka came to Tokyo to look for Yuki when she discovered her parents' frustration at Uesugi-san's inability to get Yuki to come back to Kyoto to marry her. She went to find him and did, but in the next episode, realising how Shuichi cared for Yuki, she told him where to find Yuki. In all honesty, had she not spoken up, she could have married Yuki without anyone finding out where the writer had even gone. While she did cry, she accepted Hiro's comforting of her and seemed to consider Hiro when he declared that he would like to go out with her.

Dear readers,

Today is 24th of August 2008. It's been about a year and a half since I've touched this story and I realise now that I probably never will again. It's not a conscious decision but I just don't "hear" the characters anymore. The support for this story was nice while it lasted... but it was rather half hearted from the readers to begin with. I think the muses gave up.

Consider it this way: There are 191 reviews out of 83 watchers (alerted). Mathematically, everyone reviewed twice. TWICE! Out of 25 chapters, people reviewed just two times. It was so disheartening and I learned so little about my writing from the people who did comment. I wasn't growing as a writer here.

I'm sorry to say that I might not be writing for this fandom again and will be concentrating on more responsive work. I'll leave this here just in case the muses decide to have at it again. But for now, it's suspended.

I apologise to the readers who followed and loved this fic. --Tsu