Obligatory Sex Epilogue

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Almost three weeks had passed since Raito and L found freedom from the shinigami world. Of course, their freedom had come with new shackles as a new kind of shinigami, but besides the endless paperwork, they were finding themselves fitting right in.

The paperwork was outlandish, though, and would take them months to work through before they would get a real case. Raito knew he could only blame himself for that. All of the cases were deaths he had caused. He had to file everything, of every death he had prematurely brought to fruition. Luckily, most of the deaths had passed through the Hall of Candles normally, despite being early. But just enough had left unruly spirits, and once the paperwork was completed, Raito and L would have many Tokyo cases to sink their teeth into. Luckily, the field work for the deaths overseas, of which there were many in America, would be left to American teams to handle. Part of Raito almost felt that was unfair. He would have gladly accepted the brunt of all of the deaths. He supposed the amount he was dealing with and would continue to deal with would be enough to humble him, though. Working with L for so long had done quite a bit of that already.

"I never thought I could feel so tired from just going through files," Raito said, stretching his neck from side to side painfully as he removed his jacket and started to get ready for bed. He and L had taken to burning the midnight oil in order to get through the files more quickly. It was paying off, and both were used to long nights, but it was starting to have its toll on Raito.

L, on the other hand, loved every minute of it, and couldn't wait to get out in the field. "If you would like assistance in removing that crick in your neck, Raito-kun…" L offered, removing his own jacket and also beginning to prepare for bed.

L had become surprisingly well-rested since their arrival. Raito ensured that L slept when he slept, which meant actually getting at least seven hours of sleep every night. It was making L a whole new man. That, along with the good posture and new clothes.

L still chose to walk barefoot.

They had grown so close over the past few weeks that Raito didn't even question taking L up on his offer. He removed his shirt and tie, even tossed his pants aside to leave only his boxers, and sat on the edge of the bed. "Please," he said, "I can't seem to work this out myself. Serves me right, huh?"

"What do you mean?" L removed his T-shirt and pants, leaving him in his boxers as well, of which Raito had insisted upon after discovering L wore briefs.

"I mean I deserve it," Raito explained, hanging his head as L began to rub his neck with long, thin, and very strong fingers, "The paperwork, the crick in my neck, the…bad dreams."

"Dreams, Raito-kun?"

"Don't play stupid, L." Raito had come to call L "L" lately. Ryuuzaki was a name L chose for safety's sake; it had no real meaning. And Lawliet was not comfortable for L to accept as his name quite yet. Too personal. Too much a reminder of past things L wasn't ready to think about. And so he was simply L, as he had been to many for many years. "Don't play stupid," Raito said again, "You sleep right next to me. I know you've noticed."

"Aa," L admitted. He dug into Raito's shoulders deeply, eliciting an appreciative moan from his companion. "You wake up almost every night. Are they getting worse? What are they about?"

Raito shifted uncomfortably, much as he was enjoying the attention to his sore muscles. "They're just…about the people we handle in the case files. Like I can see all of their faces again. And no…they're not getting worse. They were bad enough to begin with."

L massaged one hand up into Raito's scalp to which Raito gladly bent his head to give L more access. This was easy for them. They worked together, left nothing unsaid or a secret, slept by each other in a bed they couldn't bring themselves to complain about, and considered themselves the best of friends. Everything was comfortable with them now.

Well, almost everything.

Working his way back to Raito's shoulders, L pressed deeply into the knots he found. "There are ways to get rid of dreams," he said softly, his mouth close to Raito's neck, close enough for warm air to hit Raito's skin and make him shiver.

"You mean…talking things out, forgiving myself, hypnotism. Something like that?"

"Mmm…something like that," L repeated, "Distraction is also often helpful for bad dreams. If you…had your mind on something…else."

As soon as Raito felt L leaning in closer to him, intimately close so that their bodies were almost flush and L's lips were about to touch his skin, Raito jumped up quickly and moved away. "Time for bed. Yeah…" Raito said. He was too red in the face at first to look back at L, but he imagined his friend was wearing an expression of disappointment. "Thanks," he managed weakly, "For the massage."

"Of course," L said with a sigh, and Raito could hear L shift on the bed, moving to his own side and sliding under the covers in resolution.

It had been like this since their first night in that bed. And Raito thought L would be the skittish one. L had seemed skittish that night they slept out in the elements of the other shinigami world. Ever since then, however, L had become more and more confident. At first it was almost unperceivable. They would wake with L's head on Raito's chest, his arms around him, their bodies close. Raito thought it was security for L, an impulse, especially after their night outside. But then L would start to find that close position before they fell asleep, snuggling in and nuzzling Raito's skin as if he wanted more than security.

L was putting the moves on him, or so it would seem. But "seem" grew over time and with the way L was always managing to find ways to be intimate, there was no mistaking what was happening between them.

Raito was terrified.

What if it ruined everything? What if the friendship he so loved was destroyed by this development? Raito wasn't sure he could risk that. He had never considered such things before. Choosing girlfriends and bedmates had always had practical reasons. He had to date the most successful girl in college. He had to date Misa. He had sex with willing partners when it suited him and being friends never entered the equation. With L that was no longer the case.

The very idea of analyzing the pitfalls and benefits of sleeping with L made Raito want to laugh. Part of him believed he was imaging the advances completely. The other part longed for them to be real so he could finally pounce. Raito was never one to dismiss different forms of sexuality. If he wanted to be with L then he would be, no questions asked. That is, except for this sudden surge of conscience he had been experiencing ever since this new life began. Raito was entirely perplexed.

He was also very tired and had been standing facing the wardrobe for more minutes than could possibly seem natural. Correcting this, Raito turned back to the bed, flicked off the lamp, and climbed in. He lied there a minute, staring at the ceiling, before finally turning to L.

"Hey…L?"

"Mmm?" L was curled up facing away from Raito, which only made Raito feel more annoyed with his actions. He was literally pushing L away, and he didn't want that.

"I…I, umm…" He could do this. He could. "I'm a little…cold," he said finally. It was the best he could muster to get L to move closer to him.

It worked. "Of course," L said, and rolled over, inching his way closer until they were in skin contact the whole length of their bodies save their shorts. L didn't look at him. He just closed his eyes and snuggled in. Raito assumed this was for his benefit. L's way of saying it was okay and that he wouldn't push.

It was one of the few times Raito could really feel their age difference. Even if Raito had practically caught up it didn't make L's extra years lessen. Raito had more experience sexually, of that there was no question, but L had more life experience. And it showed, as if L just knew he had to give "the kid" some extra time.

To be honest, it kind of pissed Raito off.

"Don't patronize me," Raito said, pulling L in closer, "It's been weeks of this. Coddling me isn't going to make it easier."

L lifted his head to look Raito in the eyes. "My, my, Raito-kun, your seduction tactics are impressive," he said, holding back a small smile.

"Shut up. I'm impressed you have any."

"I have—"

"No experience. I know. So don't go pretending you knew what you were doing all these—"

It is proven fact that a kiss is always the fastest way to shut someone up. Granted, L also half proved Raito right with his sloppy, wet, and very hurried lip lock, but neither minded since it finally got the issue to the moment. And being in the moment is always better than wondering what ifs.

Raito corrected the kiss subtly, turning his head just enough so that the kiss sealed tight and deep. He felt the hurriedness of L and tried to slow him, stroking with his tongue and capturing L's to feel the gesture returned.

Their pulses began to pick up and match pace, beating in synch through their chests that were tight together as they continued to kiss. Raito was the one who finally pulled away to catch his breath, and when he saw the flush to L's face, the swollen lips, and those impossibly wide black eyes, he had to laugh. Neither could have anticipated this all those years ago, and yet now, ever since they found each other again in death, it came so naturally, as if only in death they were able to discover their true selves.

Raito was still laughing when he noticed L's prominent pout. "I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you," he tried to explain, hoping to rid the former detective of that pout as quickly as possible, "Well, I am, but…it's just…this. Us. Have you ever even kissed anyone before?"

"Well…no," L said shortly.

Raito quickly stifled the remainder of his laughter, picking up on L's insecurity. "The kiss was fine. Great. That's not why I'm laughing either."

"Then why? This certainly cannot be too unexpected. Unless my hints have been too subtle," L said, looking slightly concerned, his thumb suddenly up by his reddened lips.

It took all of Raito's willpower—what was left of it—not to start laughing again. "L, we know everything about each other, we sleep in the same bed, you've been curling up next to me whether I ask you to or not for weeks, you work the kinks out of my shoulders and look at me sometimes like I'd be as good to eat as a piece of cake."

L promptly blushed at the sound of that.

"Subtle has not been our problem," Raito continued, "Just nerves. This isn't unexpected, it's un…precedented. I didn't expect this. I mean, I tried to…kill you once."

"Actually, succeeded would be the better way to categorize that, Raito-kun," L said matter-of-factly, though Raito would swear he could hear the sarcasm that was surely there as well.

Raito smiled sourly. "Right. I just…didn't expect to one day feel like you of all people would know me better than anyone I had ever met before. I never expected to feel like this and want to…pin you back to this bed and…and…"

"And what…Raito-kun?" L prompted with a slyness despite his apparently placid expression.

This time Raito allowed his laughter. "So you do have seduction tactics," he said.

"On occasion. But what I lack in experience I hope I make up for in…eagerness to learn. Raito-kun…"

"If you say "teach me" I will not be held responsible for my actions," Raito cut in, more than half serious, but with a growing grin.

L returned that expression, which looked remarkably devious on him, and simply said, "Please."

How one word, softly spoken and sincere, could sound so incredibly sexy was almost beyond Raito's comprehension. But what he did understand was that no more than half a second passed after L spoken that word before Raito had the detective pinned to the mattress just as promised.

The gasp that left L assured Raito his friend was experiencing the same flutter of feeling below the belt as he was, and after a few moments of sucking on L's neck, he could feel the proof of that pressing into his hipbone.

At first L could merely arch his back, allowing the attention on his neck and pressing his hips up to meet Raito's above him. But his pale, delicate hands were free and soon he started to use them. Trailing his hands up Raito's sides and touching the other man in a way he always wanted to. Deep down L always wanted more than to simply catch Kira, he wanted to possess him. And since he knew from the beginning that Raito was Kira, logically he also wanted to possess Raito. And really, possessing Raito was far more enjoyable, and without the nasty consequence of death.

Maybe they would find Heaven together someday, after Raito's debts had been paid, but regardless there was always time to find a little Heaven right where they were.

"R-Raito…"

"Yeah…?"

"I don't really…know…"

"I know. That's what the teaching part's for," Raito grinned, enjoying the gentle exploring part that had both of them flush, but ready for the part where he had L moaning and trembling beneath him. He moved his hands to the waist of L's shorts and slipped his fingers under the elastic just enough for L to get the idea. "You know you can tell me to stop at any time," Raito said, "I only want this if you want this. I won't be angry."

"No. But I would be," L said with a small smile, "I have never done this before but I trust you to lead me through it, Raito. Logically, telling you to stop would say I do not trust you as much as I allude. And that is simply not true."

Raito had to laugh a little at that. "Wow," he said, "I never quite appreciated your logic before, but if it's telling you that you have to have sex with me right now then…by all means, keep the logic coming."

L would have laughed as well if he wasn't unbelievably distracted by the sudden movement of his shorts down his thighs. "Raito…"

"All you have to say is stop," Raito replied, continuing his removal of L's shorts until he had them off and tossed aside. L said nothing more so Raito took the opportunity to really look at the body before him.

He had seen L naked in the baths, but bathing has rules. You look out of necessity never to peruse or size-up. Finally, Raito had the chance to look for completely selfish reasons.

L was just as skinny as Raito expected—he could see ribs, despite his attempts to get L eating more substance in his meals lately—but the detective was also well-defined and more than adequately endowed. L didn't have much hair other than the mop on his head, as if he was just as young as he could sometimes pretend to be. It still amazed Raito that this man was so much older than him.

"Raito…" L said with a little urgency, and more than a little embarrassment.

Raito took the hint. He looked back up into L's dark eyes and this time he didn't grin. Instead he smiled as genuinely as he could to soothe his friend's concerns. Raito would make this as easy and painless as possible. And he would enjoy every moment of it.

The first thing Raito wanted to do was show L just how wonderful sexual attention was when someone other than yourself was giving it to you. Raito had never really thought about whether or not L got himself off on occasion. He never noticed anything when they were handcuffed, or these past few weeks, but he knew first hand how ingenious men could be when it came to finding ways to relieve themselves.

This would be very different than anything like that, especially with L's inexperience, so he wanted it to be as worthwhile as he could make it. By the time he was finished, L would spread his legs and plead.

Raito shook his head. No. He didn't want it to be like that. Well, he wanted L to be wantonly blissful from his attentions, but he didn't need that kind of perverse control over the other man. Deep down he knew that he would be begging for it too by the time he finished his attentions. And that was fine by him.

Kissing L first, Raito knew to move slowly so L would feel secure and comfortable. He started a slow descent then, gently touching his lips to the bruised skin of L's neck from previous attentions, and then moving further down. He nipped lightly, kissed deeply, all things girlfriends had liked, and that he enjoyed as well. But when he got to L's waistline he felt his friend jump.

"What is it?" Raito asked.

L was breathing heavy and pink in his cheeks, contrasting greatly with his white skin. "Are you…going to…?"

Raito had to grin; L couldn't even say it. "That was the idea. Don't you want me to?" Raito added, dipping his head to swipe his tongue over L's weeping tip.

L shuddered. He was speechless—blessedly, as far as Raito was concerned—and could only nod his head, as if to say, "do continue." Raito was almost positive those would be the words L would use too, if the detective could find his tongue, that is.

Meanwhile, Raito's tongue was just getting warmed up.

Returning to the waiting area below L's waist, Raito decided a little bit of teasing was in order to make this last as long as he was hoping. He skimmed over the prize at first, offering only the occasional lick that made little mewling noises escape L's throat. The rest of the time he stuck to nibbling L's hips, his inner thighs, even the velvety sacks waiting just between L's legs. The precision of it, the slow progression, had L panting. Raito could sense that the detective wanted to ask for it, wanted to ask Raito to stop teasing and just take him into his mouth, but Raito wouldn't do it. He waited. Waited until he knew the words were on the tip of L's tongue, and only then did he finally descend.

L's back arched to feel himself completely taken in and he moaned deeply, reminiscent of his voice when he was still the other kind of shinigami. It gave Raito chills to hear it.

In response, Raito hastened his work, swirling his tongue and taking L deep into the back of his throat. It was strange. He had had this done to him many times, but never performed the act on a man himself. It was easy. Because he knew what would feel good, knew from experience, and it thrilled him to be the first person to ever do such a thing to L.

Soon he would be responsible for L's death a second time, only it would be a little death, a glorious death he could give the detective again and again.

Raito felt L pulling at his hair and moaning as if he wanted Raito to stop, but the word itself never came, and so Raito worked on. He worked L until the other man's gasps were short and coming faster. He worked until he knew L was right there and when L gave a small cry, his face twisted in a way Raito had never seen, Raito finally pulled away, just in time for L to release onto his own skin. Raito knew L would not be offended by this. He would have expected the same. The last thing Raito wanted was for their first sexual encounter to end with a gag.

Little by little L's breathing slowed but his face was still flush and the rest of his body gave clear signs that it was not yet time to call it a night. L did not notice this at first. He was staring at Raito and looked mildly disappointed.

"I didn't want you to do that," he said.

Raito felt his throat tighten. Maybe he should have listened to the signs after all instead of waiting to hear a damn word. "L…I just…"

"We didn't even get to you. It felt amazing, but…I wanted it to…be together."

At first Raito thought L was saying he had hoped they would come together, difficult as Raito knew that was, but the more he turned it over in his mind the more he came to realize what L really meant. The detective couldn't bring himself to just say it out loud, but he wanted them to have sex, not just to be gotten off.

Yet again, Raito had to laugh.

"You think this means we have to stop for the night? Just coz you had one?" Raito said. He grabbed some tissues from the nightstand and wiped L's stomach clean, tossing the soiled tissues to the floor to be gotten rid of later. "L," he went on, "Who says you can't have two? You're young, we're both horny as hell, good as we are at hiding it, and I, as well as your own body if you hadn't noticed, am more than ready to keep going. Sound good to you?"

A brief glance down between his own legs, between Raito's, and then back up into Raito eyes, had L blushing harder than ever and feeling very foolish. "So," he said, "What next?"

"What do you think is next?" Raito answered with a grin, lowering his body on top of L's again and kissing his companion fiercely. L was a quick learner; Raito already couldn't get enough of their lip locks.

They continued kissing, hands roaming, when suddenly L touched the fabric of Raito's boxers and was reminded at how unfairly matched they were right now. He didn't say anything, he simply pulled from the kiss, pushed Raito up a little, and started to tug the boxers down. This was not easy with Raito on top, but with a little help from Raito, L managed it, tossing the boxers off the bed to join his own.

Now they were even. In more ways than one.

"You know how this works, right?" Raito said between kisses and grinds of their hips.

L's eyes were glazed but he managed to sound more or less put-together. "I know the mechanics," he replied.

"Right. So…you know this is going to hurt a little."

"Yes."

"And you're okay with that? I don't have so big of an ego anymore that I'm not willing to swap positions if you'd feel more—"

"No," L broke in quickly, "I want it to be you. I'd…do it wrong."

Raito smiled a little. Again he felt as if he was the elder of the two. L had many facades but the real L missed a lot of growing up along the way. "You can't do it wrong if you know the basics," Raito said reassuringly, "Just…differently. Better or worse, maybe, but not wrong. I'll gladly stay where I am, but if one day…you want to…I wouldn't refuse you. I need you to know that."

"I know," L replied, and that is all he needed to say. He was as nervous as he looked, but he trusted Raito. That alone was incredible.

Raito had been trying so hard to avoid allowing this to happen, but now that he was ready and pleased to be in this position, he realized—sadly—that they had nothing to help the process along. They didn't need condoms. They were dead, after all. Gunshots would hurt, but that kind of protection would be a little unnecessary. But there were other things they could have, one of which Raito knew would make this easier on L.

Nothing to be done about it now, Raito thought, but as L laid back and spread his legs, just as Raito wanted, Raito had to spit into his hand for as much lubrication as they were going to get aside from themselves.

Raito had never done this with a man, but he had had sex this way with several women. The process itself wouldn't be any different, just the feeling of it on L's part. Raito worked quickly but carefully. Every time L flinched Raito hesitated. This would be difficult at first. It was only Raito stretching him just now, and L was already tensing too much.

"You have to relax," Raito whispered, "Even this part can feel good, but you have to relax first. The last thing I would ever do is hurt you on purpose."

L laughed so suddenly it startled Raito a bit. "Irony," is all L said in explanation, and he immediately began to relax just as Raito instructed. Preparation continued much more quickly after that, and finally they both knew there was nothing more to do but take the next step.

No words were spoken, but their eyes locked as Raito pressed forward. L gasped and started to tense again but he forced himself to relax, breathing deeply as Raito pushed in further. By the time Raito was fully inside, L didn't know what he had been cringing about. Therefore it was L who moved first, bucking up so that Raito pressed in so deeply it made L's eyes roll back.

Raito grunted. This was actually happening. He was inside L, having sex with L, a man he couldn't have a stranger history with. And everything felt so right that after the first few strokes Raito wasn't thinking about anything but what he was doing.

The act was so overdo and they had worked themselves up so much, it didn't take long for Raito to come. He wasn't sure if it was okay for him to come inside of L, but L wouldn't let him pull away. As it turned out L was quite aggressive, which really shouldn't have surprised Raito. No, L hung on tightly, keeping Raito in place, and because he had already come once that night it took much longer for him to join Raito. There was no doubt in Raito's mind that L was enjoying every moment, so as much as L seemed to want, Raito continued to give until L finally came a second time, hard.

They were both sweaty and trembling when Raito pulled free and flopped over to his side of the bed. For several minutes they just lied there beside each other, panting for breath, sticky in many places, and terribly content.

Raito looked over at L and could hardly believe the large smile he saw. L's eyes were closed, as if he was having the most amazing dream, but the truth was he had lived the dream he sought and was simply basking in it.

"Fuck, that was amazing," L said.

Raito was certain he must have heard his friend incorrectly until L opened his eyes and looked at him. Oh, L really said that, but Raito decided it could be blamed on what he could only describe as L's…intoxication.

Following his words, L leaned over to Raito, took his face with one hand, and kissed him with far more expertise than he really had. When the detective pulled away he just stared at Raito and there was so much emotion in his black eyes that Raito feared his friend was about to say something far more intimate than he was ready to hear.

"L…"

"Thank you, Raito-kun," L said, "Not only for this, but for always treating me as if…I am as normal as you are. Thank you…for allowing me to know things normal people know. I am not…normal. I know that. I have been called everything from strange to being labeled…a freak. But you…you treat me as an equal."

"L, I don't understand what you're—"

"Please, Raito, let me speak," L said, and Raito knew to listen more closely whenever the honorific was dropped from his name, "I walk straighter, dress better, eat better, sleep better only because of you. I still sit funny in my chair, go without shoes, hold my pencil as if it is diseased, and act awkwardly in situations I do not know well. And yet you…allow all that as if it is normal, though you know it is not. You…touch me…when no one else would. You make it so I can touch another…without fear. I am not normal, but you make me feel as if I could be. And for that, I will always be more grateful than any words or action could ever say."

Raito was stunned. His usual afterglow conversations had never been so serious and sentimental before. Misa usually just chattered on about something Raito could never remember nor care about and then fell asleep. Oh, she'd always say she loved him, but from her it never mattered. The thought that L was going to say those words, however, scared Raito. Hearing it from those lips would matter.

Raito never tried to look at L differently than other people did. He saw L as unique, to be kind about it, but always as an equal. L's quirks were simply apart of him. It never occurred to Raito that he was putting up with them. To him L would always be normal for L. That's what Raito loved about him.

Liked. Raito didn't want to get ahead of himself.

"L, I really don't know how to respond to that. Yeah, you're weird. I'm glad you enjoy the new clothes and eating real food once in a while, but I would never ask you to change who you are. You changed me for the better. If ever there is something you think I've changed in you, I hope it is the same. Now…can we stop with the sentimental for tonight and get some sleep?" Raito added with a smile, "You wore me out."

As predicted, a blush ran across L's nose. Raito didn't buy it too much this time though. There was an animal inside L raging to get out and Raito had finally caught a true glimpse of it. He couldn't wait for it to stick around.

It was L who grabbed the tissues this time, and it took quite a few before they felt comfortable enough to curl under the covers. L tucked his head under Raito's chin, as always, and both knew there would no longer be a question as to why they would always find themselves tangled up tight in the morning.

"So," Raito said as they began to drift to sleep, "First time a success?"

L shifted a little. "Are you questioning your performance or is this a general question?"

"Smart ass."

L shifted again and Raito just knew the detective was grinning. "I have no complaints. Touching oneself does not compare."

"So you do jerk off?"

"Of course. I'm a man."

Raito had to laugh. "Of course," he repeated, and hugged L a little closer.

"Raito?"

"Mm?"

"Would it frighten you if I said…I…"

Raito tensed.

"If I said…I couldn't live without you?"

And Raito relaxed. It may just be semantics, but it eased Raito anyway. "No, L, it wouldn't frighten me. I couldn't live without you either. Not anymore. I guess that's why we ended up dead," he finished with a laugh.

"Dead together?" L added.

"Yeah," Raito said, "And happily ever after."

THE REAL END

A/N: I'm busy okay. No, I have no excuses. I've been bummed looking for work and finding nothing, while living with my fiance and future mother-in-law. If you can avoid ever doing that, DO. My honey and I are great, but life is tough. Just got a job I think I will love, however, and finally got the writing bug. Sorry to those reading my Saiyuki. I will get to it when I can. Thanks to all who have stuck with me, and as always, see ya next ficcie!

Crimson