Chapter 1

This is a story that I am working on hard. Please don't stop at the first chapter if you don't like it continue because you never know how a story is going to twist. Thanks for hitting my first chapter and I hope it is up to your expectations. Thank you, happy reading.

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It was a day that drowned on as if it would never come to an end, tomorrow would be the day she would be going back to that amazing school and for once not wanting not excited about it as it drew closer. Flicking her bangs back she stared out her window, she sat on the sill looking out onto the street, such a lonely street, occasionally she would see someone walking along but other than that it was desolate and lonely. She was at Grimmauld place, and she was alone, well except for the order members that were downstairs in a meeting, which she was not allowed to take part in.

As Mrs. Weasley had argued continually about was that they were too young. Ron and Harry didn't care about being involved but she herself wanted to know what was going on and help.

Harry, Ron and Ginny had left to go meet up with Luna for a double date and left her. Thinking of them laughing and joking made her heart drop, they right now would be laughing and having fun while she felt depressed amusing herself.

Looking back into her room, she looked at her trunk all ready for her departure, books on her bedside table that she was probably going to read tonight, that was what she needed to read right now more books. She chuckled when she remembered Ronald bugging her because of her light reading book that actually helped them find out what the sorcerers stone really was. That was her always using her intellect to help everyone, but never really herself. When had her life become so repetitious, boring, when had she become so lonely?

Her room looked like that of a neat freak everything had its place even the articles in the bathroom had their own place. The bed across from hers that was always made and never touched, she had made sure no one roomed with her when she had taken his room; she didn't want people messing up his memory. For this was the only way, they could remember him, well mostly she. She found it hard now a day to remember the conversations that she had with him. Everyone had missed him, Harry the most, Sirius had become a permanent part of everyone's heart.

In conversations now he was never brought up as the days went by and it was like he had never existed her willingness to try and bring him up in the conversation brought glares from people. It was not like she was doing a sin but she just wanted people to realize that he was amazing. He deserved to be talked about his heroic efforts that saved them. He was the hero, the one that everyone owed their life to. Everyone seemed so depressed when Sirius was brought up, why though he faught to his death to save the people he loved.

She woke every morning at six went downstairs had breakfast, usually something light and quick then helped Mrs. Weasley to make breakfast, do the dishes. Helping around the house wasn't a chore anymore it was something to fill her time, a way to escape the boredom. Usually skipping lunch she secluded herself in her room and read, it was the only thing that she loved doing, and really the only thing that kept her sane when she wanted to freak out. She knew she was a book worm yes, but thriving in it made her proud of herself. Reading was the one thing that no one pestered her about; her library at school had become her solitude a way to escape because none of her friends came in there, come to think of it no one came in there anymore. It was as if she was the only person that really went all out to get amazing grades. She didn't choose to do all her assignments it was just something to do, everything was so easy it was like child play, she had never understood what the moaning was all about when they got another assignment. Thrilling on doing well on school to show her parents and friends she had thought that her friends would be proud of her but they just scoffed and rolled their eyes at her.

When their sixth year had ended, things had changed, people changed. Too drastically to really be recognized or helped. She had felt the brute force of it but she was still here, but the pain would live on no matter how long she tried to defeat it.

Wanting to deny the fact that everyone was growing apart she kept to herself, but being left alone wasn't just happening once or twice but now all the time. She couldn't remember the last time she had the two boys had hung out and actually had fun; so long ago it was just a distant memory that was fading away and soon to be forgotten like all the other times she remembered spending with them.

Her friends didn't even care to tell her that they were going to go out; they just left as if they had forgotten she was there as if she didn't matter. Of course, she felt left out excluded, but she relished in it sometimes knowing the fact that she didn't worry about being bugged or pestered when she wanted to read.

However, the solitude made her lonely, she thought of tomorrow of the fact that it would be school and more solitude would be in order. Eating and sleeping would be scarce and homework became top priority. Doing the same thing everyday struggling out of bed after staying up for hours to try and finish it all, showering. Even talking with her friends became a problem during school she just didn't have it in her to carry on a conversation with them because they would just nod and ignore her like always. If she tried to talk to them about class or some homework they had they would say she had no life or she should listen up and have fun.

She heard the crash of a door and she knew her friends were home, they always mad enough noise to wake the dead when they got back. Grabbing a book from her nightstand she glanced at the mirror in front of her, she looked at herself. Never before had she cared to really look at herself, she was too tall now and pretty but not beautiful. Why did it matter to her not like any boy had ever paid much attention to her well Krum but they were just friends and the letter that was to be sent to him updating her summer was still on her nightstand waiting to be sent. For some reason she wanted all the things the other girls talked about a first kiss and the tingling feeling you get when you're with him, but shaking her head she knew she would probably never feel it.

She needed new clothes, her pants were way to short for her and her shirts were extremely big on her probably because she was wearing hand me downs. Maybe a shopping spree was in order, rolling her eyes she snorted when she ever go shopped or buy anything that looked nice. Taking her seat again on the sill she looked out again and propped open her book and started reading. Noises and conflicts in the outside world were forgotten her worries disappeared the events to come were oblivious as she read. In a world of her own she was able to escape not having to worry about anything for a while. She had gotten a skill at tuning everything out when she needed to, especially at dinner when they did homework sometimes she was able to tune out everyone around her and just focus. Sometimes hours could pass, sometimes her friends were kind enough to wake her from her faze. Nevertheless, other times they left her there usually uninterrupted by a teacher to go to bed or to go to class.

Finally, she put down her book and looked outside it was getting dark the sun was setting and her stomach was growling and protesting in need to be filled. She hated it sometimes when she got so into the book and couldn't put it down until it was done. Placing her book down she headed downstairs people were talking excitedly. Walking towards the noises she entered the meeting room, everyone was there chatting and laughing. Such happiness filled the room, glancing around she realized how happy everyone really was, the fact that they didn't need her to be happy, drilled into her heart like a nail. Thoughts of her dieing if anyone would really notice or shed a tear or just move on to the next chat and laughter.

"Hermione sweetheart we didn't want to disturb you come sit and eat," Molly said as she pulled out a chair for her, smiling she sat down; this was the one woman who was kind to her no matter what. Sitting beside Molly and Remus she inwardly groaned. She sat by them every meal; glancing across the table, her friends sat eating and talking excitedly, wishing hopeful that they might include her once just once.

Picking up her fork and knife, she started eating ignoring the conversation going on around her. Pushing the food around her plate occasionally bringing the fork to her mouth to try and swallow the delicious food that somehow didn't' taste the same.

"Hermione," she heard her name and looked up at Molly who was beaming at her.

"Yes," she asked, sipping her juice.

"Why didn't you tell us you got Head girl we would have had a grand feast for you, and everything," Molly said smiling at the girl.

"Oh it didn't seem that important," she lied, it was very important she just didn't feel like telling anyone when she had found out, she wasn't very excited about it herself, more responsibility more seclusion. She just didn't want the attention, she knew that everyone expected her to get it because she was the bookworm, of course she would get it.

Soon everyone went back to they're food and she sighed, slowly putting forkfuls of something in her mouth, as if on automatic she chewed. Pushing the food around on her plate she was lost in a way, in need of something that something to her was unknown.

The food had no taste as she reminded herself of the old days when her Harry and Ron would go to Hogsmeade, buy chocolate and just hang out at the Three Broomsticks. They hadn't cared about anything or the times when the two had begged her for her assignment to copy off of and she always told them no. Ron would go away angry and Harry would just laugh, she remembered good times and the bad the yelling and anger that had passed between them. Memories that were still there made her smile a little but the smile soon faded remembering bad times when she lost loved ones.

She glanced up and gasped as Dumbledore raced in not lying. His robes were a little dishevelled, but otherwise everything were it was suppose to be. He had a smile on his face that would have melted all the coldness in the world.

"I have great news," Dumbledore said, smiling," we found him he's alive and younger."

Everyone looked at him weird maybe he did have to many lemon drops, you know when you get old something's start to come loose, maybe he had a sugar over dose, or was high on something and speaking in crazy tongue

(Just kidding)

"Sirius has been found," Dumbledore smiled his eyes twinkling amazingly so bright It could blind you. Cheers erupted throughout the whole room. Even Hermione cheered a little she was excited about him coming back, but was tired. She had so many questions to ask him but looking at Harry her questions weren't as important.

"Now when you see him don't be alarmed when he fell through the veil he wasn't killed, he was locked there in time, well time went back, he was found last night and should be arriving soon," Dumbledore smiled. Harry was beaming she was happy for him, she knew he had taken it hard when he thought he had been dead not coming out of his room for days. In fact everyone had taken it hard, she remembered the tears she had cried.

Trying to coaxed him out of his room, talking to him as he locked the door and sat there on his bed she had told him comforting words telling him that he should move on but never forget, that Sirius was in his heart and our memories would stay with us of the good times and bad.

Pushing her plate away, she excused herself, they would need time with him when he came and she was so depressed that she would just bring down everyone else.

"Hermione don't you want to see Sirius," Minerva asked, she glanced up at the mother figure she had. She gave her a little smile shaking her head.

"No I'll see him later," Hermione said, trying to hid the sinking feeling in her, that it was her and not one of her friends asking," goodnight."

Minerva frowned at the lonely look in the girl's eyes and she wasn't the only one that saw it. Glancing at Moody, Tonks, Remus, and Dumbledore they all returned a grim glance. Something had to be done; a look of such loneliness should never be seen in a 17 year old girl's eye they should be full of love and hope. They knew what the girl had gone through and the depression she was still fighting with and the trauma and the others weren't helping with it.

Hermione slowly walked upstairs, she could hear everyone chatting excitedly, and her heart wanted to reach out and chat and laugh but she couldn't. Opening the door to her room, she reached her desk, looked down at the picture of her and the two boys, and frowned. She was right to not stay down there, she would just drag down the excitement as she always did and she wanted his homecoming to be happy and joyous. Grabbing the picture she placed it face down on the desk, things change the best thing to do is get over it.

Then thoughts of Sirius reached her mind as she remembered the little smirk he always had, the way he strutted around as if nothing could touch him. Then the picture of him, falling a look of fright on his face, she wished she could have been able to save him. Wishing to be downstairs talking to him right now, she realized as soon as Dumbledore told them that, Harry would need time with him.

Selfless was a word to describe her she always thought of everyone else before her. She didn't care how unhappy she was just as long as everyone else was happy, happiness would come later, she hoped.

Grabbing the books on her nightstand, she shoved them in her trunk and closed it tightly, rubbing her hands over the wood. This box held everything of hers, photo albums, clothes, her books well most of them the rest were in the attic in boxes. Glancing around the room, she looked at it closely. It was beautiful two beds one used a bathroom to the left, and the olden time window that opened so you would be able to sit on it. She loved this room, and had officially called it hers when they had all moved in. Ginny wouldn't share a room with her, she had complained that her constant reading was a nuisance, and she hadn't argued. Ginny's constant pestering about Harry was delirious. Never before had she thought a girl could revolve her life around one guy.

"I have to go see Harry."

"Harry's is taking me out."

"Harry wrote me today."

She didn't care, and she didn't want to know about their make out sessions none of that that was her best friend and she didn't want to know that he was feeling her up.

She sat on the side of her bed and traced the carved wood looking at the aged wood that if could speak would tell you stories of what it had survived, how many years it had sat there. She wiped a tear away and shook her head she was being stupid here, things weren't complicated they were straight and to the point, they didn't need her but she so desperately needed them, just a spoken word would be welcomed a hi a little glance of acknowledgment.

Slipping into her pajamas, she slipped into the bed and wondered how everyone was doing downstairs. Closing her eyes thoughts of her and her friends laughing and joking again drifted her into sleep. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day because that was what she had to live on, that tomorrow would be better and the day after better. It seemed that it was a crappy goal but it was all she had to go on.

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Songs listened to while writing chapter:

Mama- my chemical romance

The sharpest lives- my chemical romance

Welcome to the Black parade- my chemical romance

We can be lovers- Moulan Rouge

Diamonds- Moulan Rouge

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