After hearing more than I ever wanted to know about books from Kagome, who always seems to have her nose in one whenever she should be with the rest of us searching for jewel shards, I decided to test something out – and prove a point. When I brought up this particular bad habit of hers to Kagome, she suddenly began spouting off about the importance of 'literature' and 'culture' and all that crap, and how people in her time often wrote down frivolous adventure stories to entertain others. My response, of course, was: what the hell do you need to read about pretend adventures for when you're already up to your eyeballs in the real thing?

She insisted she had to read for school – another aspect of her life that I don't see any point to – but that reading fiction was still a nice way to escape from reality. I told her very reasonably how stupid that was. That was when she got all huffy and challenged me to write an interesting story if I thought I was so smart.

At first I gave the suggestion a good laugh and went off to grab a snack instead. While shaking Shippou upside down by the tail as bags of Kagome's ninja foods fell out and collected on the ground, a thought suddenly occurred to me: I'm the most interesting person I know – it would be easy to write a story about myself that I'm sure everyone would want to read. (That would definitely shut Kagome up.) I figured I could just work on it while the humans stop to rest and I have to wait on them; we seem to spend half our lives sitting around anyway, might as well do something with all that wasted time!

So that's what I've decided to do. I won't pretend that all of this crap has actually happened (yet) but it is based on my life and realistically portrays myself and everyone else involved. So here goes nothing…

How Inuyasha Killed Naraku

As told by Inuyasha

The mighty demon know as Inuyasha, unsheathed his sword the Tetsusaiga and aimed it at the stupidly arrogant and wimpy demon that dared to get up in his face and challenge him.

He (Inuyasha, not the wimpy demon) could feel the power pulsing from the magnificent demonic blade in his hands, since he was the only one who could master the weapon's incredible and ultimate technique. Power hungry youkai as well as certain crybaby, jealous older brothers had, at times, tried to get their grubby paws on the great Tetsusaiga only to learn the hard way that it would accept no other master.

The sword that could kill a hundred demons in a single stroke now arched toward its newest prey as it quivered in Inuyasha's capable grip with the anticipation of spilling fresh blood. With expert ease and control, Inuyasha willed a vortex of demonic energy along the deadly shaft and uttered the last words that the miserable bastard groveling before him would ever hear: WIND SCAR!!!

An explosion shook the countryside for miles around and when the dust finally cleared all that remained of the pathetic victim was a pair of feet and his shins. Inuyasha walked over and pulled out two jewel shards from the mess.

"Hey, Kagome!"

The girl from the future stepped out from behind a large boulder along with Miroku, Sango, Shippo and Kirara.

"Is it safe to come out now," they all asked.

"Yeah, I got rid of him," I said – I mean Inuyasha said.

"Oh Inuyasha, thank you so much for killing that damn Kouga for me," beamed Kagome as everyone else cheered, (even Kouga's two lieutenants shouted for joy at their boss's gruesome death and wanted to make Inuyasha their new leader.) "He was so annoying I just couldn't stand his coming around here any longer! I was only ever nice to him because I thought he might give us his jewel shards."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore," Inuyasha informed her, handing Kagome the shards he'd just picked up.

Kagome very happily took them and put them in the container with all the other shards they'd collected that day.

"At the rate we're going we'll have the Shikon jewel completed in no time," said Miroku, coming up to congratulate his demon friend.

"Of course we will. See what happens when you all just follow me and do what I say instead of constantly complaining about being tired and hungry," Inuyasha wisely informed them.

Miroku grinned broadly, "You're right; we sure get a lot more done your way!"

"The only problem is that Naraku still has more shards than us," cried the whiney fox cub Shippo, stomping his puny foot.

"Keh, not for long," smirked Inuyasha, "I've got a plan to destroy him."

"Now wait just a minute," Miroku crossed his arms, "we've approached this at least a hundred different angles; nothing works because of that barrier of his. When did you come up with a way to destroy Naraku that I haven't already considered?"

"I just thought about it and it suddenly became obvious," yawned Inuyasha, "I know how to break his barrier."

"Impossible! But how," asked Sango as Miroku and the others just stood there gawping.

Inuyasha began to explain, "The way to break Naraku's barrier is to simply become stronger than the barrier by…" (Ugh no, forget this part.)

The dog demon was about to tell them, but he never got the chance because the very same demon in question actually decided to show up at that moment. Naraku descended on their group like a hungry wolf on a kitsune – riding in a cloud of miasma and flanked by an army of demons on either side. Above him, a swarm of poison saimyosho hovered in case the monk suddenly decided to open his wind tunnel at any time.

Everyone stood ready as the two sides faced off for the battle of their lives. As usual, Inuyasha and his friends were insanely outnumbered and would most likely die fighting the countless demons before they ever got near Naraku – that is if the noxious fumes didn't kill them all first.

"So you decided to face us head on did you, you cowardly bastard," shouted the fearless dog demon, brandishing his father's blade, "just you and a couple thousand of your closest friends?"

"Actually, I'm here to take the rest of the Shikon shards from you so I can finally complete the Jewel of Four Souls; would you mind handing them over, please," smirked the uppity hanyou.

Inuyasha growled threateningly as he cut down a hundred of Naraku's demons using the Wind Scar, "Let's see you try and get them!"

All at once, the demonic army charged the group of six. Using the Hiraikotsu, Sango, riding Kirara, was able to take out about a dozen of them at a time, while Kagome was whipping out arrows as fast as she could fire them. Miroku was holding his own with just his sutras and staff. Even Shippo got some of the weaker ones with his Fox Fire (okay, so he's not totally useless – just really annoying).

Inuyasha, however, quickly took the lead in demon casualties 'cause, let's face it, he had the Tetsusaiga – the most incredible sword ever forged! 'They just don't make demons like they used to,' he thought as another hundred bit the dust. Somewhere not too far away, he knew Sesshomaru was watching…and eating his heart out (heh).

It probably took the good part of an hour, but the hoard of attacking demons was finally dwindled down to almost nothing. During this time Naraku suddenly opened his disgusting, girly mouth and belched a huge cloud of miasma onto everyone.

"Excuse you, punk," yelled Inuyasha as he swung a chop that should have taken the creep's head off if only it weren't protected by his wimpy barrier: some people are just too scared and lazy to do any actual fighting if they don't have to. Those types of people like to call themselves "strategists" – ha! Miroku happened to be one of those types too; however, at least he cared enough about his friends to do whatever he could to save them at that moment.

"I'll suck up the miasma using my wind tunnel," he declared, throwing off his rosary. Of course, all the poison insects immediately rushed out of nowhere, the way I would if someone announced they were giving away beef Ramen.

"Oh no you don't, ya idiot," Inuyasha leapt over to where the monk was pulling saimyosho, along with the deadly, fumes into his hand. "Cut that out!" He knocked Miroku unconscious with one backhanded swipe and put the dumb beads back in place.

He then turned to Sango, who was wearing her gas mask, "take Kirara and get everyone else out of here; I'll deal with Naraku alone!"

"No Inuyasha; it's too dangerous," cried Kagome as she choked on miasma, "let me stay with you!"

"Are you crazy? Forget it, Kagome – you can't hold out against this poison. You have to leave this up to me!" The girl looked like she was about to argue, but changed her mind when she saw the look of total confidence the half demon gave her. Without words, she knew Inuyasha would be triumphant, and finally allowed Sango to lead her away.

With all the liabilities out of the way at last

With all of his friends safe, Inuyasha was now free to concentrate completely on destroying Naraku. He knew he had to first of all, break through the barrier separating them – something so dangerous he couldn't have the others with him while he did it. Little did anyone realize, Inuyasha had been practicing a new technique which was the most powerful attack Tetsusaiga had yet acquired. It was so amazing that any normal person would of went blind if they saw it (which was why he hadn't shown any of his friends).

With this new method, Inuyasha was able to summon up the raw power of every demon Tetsusaiga ever slew, and send it, backed by the power of the Winds Scar, on an opponent like some kind of Ultimate Backlash Wave. The dog demon braced himself as he called up the power of countless foes by sheer force of will.

Naraku, probably sensing his eminent doom, suddenly became very curious.

"What are you up to, Inuyasha?"

"Oh, you'll see."

Unfortunately, Naraku was just a little too smart to simply hover there and wait to be attacked, so he went ahead and disappeared in a whirlwind of miasma after shooting a spiked tentacle at his opponent – who didn't try to dodge since he needed all his concentration in order for the sword's assault to work. The tentacle went straight through the dog demon's chest, but he barely even flinched.

"Damn it," shouted Inuyasha, not because he was hurt or anything, just because Naraku was gone. Fortunately, he knew where the bastard was headed…which was after Kagome and the jewel shards, of course. Ignoring the pain of the toxic gas coursing through his body from the wound, he dashed off in the direction his friends had headed.

Sure as he'd expected, the white haired half-demon found Naraku hovering over Kagome and the others – who were lying unconscious in a cloud of purple fumes. The arrogant bandit had their jewel shards in the palm of his hands! Right then, Inuyasha knew he had to strike before that crappy guy got the chance to disappear again – or even worse – to complete the Sacred Jewel and become invincible.

The stakes were now higher than ever: with his companions directly in harm's way and the danger of using Tetsusaiga's deadliest technique around them extremely risky. The heroic Inuyasha had to think fast – if his aim was off by just a little it would cost Kagome and everyone else their lives – but he had no choice. Leaping in front of his helpless friends, the dog demon let loose the power he'd been holding until now within the Tetsusaiga.

"ULTIMATE BACKLASH," he roared so loud it almost burst his lungs.

The blinding wave that exploded onto Naraku ripped through both his barrier and the ugly hanyou inside, tearing both to pieces. Parts of Naraku were everywhere – like chunks of beef stew on the inside of that box at Kagome's house that heats up food (that wasn't me by the way, Kagome).

Almost at once he began gathering the pieces up in an attempt to pull himself back together again.

"Keh! I don't think so," Inuyasha swung the sword another time, "WIND SCAR!" Suddenly the pieces of Naraku were blasted into even smaller pieces.

"Curse you, Inuyasha," seethed the disembodied head.

The hanyou in question gave a short laugh before raising the Tetsusaiga for the finishing blow – "just be sure and save my place in hell, you baboon's ass!"

One final, deafening Wind Scar later, the evil miasma belching, spider scar-having bastard named Naraku was obliterated from the face of the earth forever.

Instantly the poisonous fog lifted from the earth and vanished as well. Once Mioga had sucked out all the toxins from their systems, Inuyasha's friends gradually woke up and began cheering and congratulating their leader on his great work.

"I knew you could do it Inuyasha," gushed Kagome as she threw her arms around him, "you saved us all!"

"Yeah, now you can complete the Shikon Jewel and become full demon," exclaimed Shippo.

Sango looked worried, "but what would happen to my little brother, Kohaku?"

Just then a certain person named Sesshomaru happened to show up (conveniently after everything was over). He gave his younger brother an odd look as he appeared mysteriously out of nowhere in his typical annoying fashion.

"Well, don't look so surprised, stupid," Inuyasha said to him.

"But… you just killed him."

"So? Wanna make something of it?"

A few minutes passed in which Sesshomaru stared vacantly back, struggling with his pride (his face gradually turning a light shade of purple) before finally caving in to the undeniable truth; "I now realize you are the more powerful of the two of us. Hurk Father apparently knew what he was doing after all when he entrusted the Tetsusaiga to you." He nearly chocked before finishing he was eating so much crow, but he still somehow managed to force it out – to his credit.

"Yeah, tell me something I don't already know."

Then suddenly Inuyasha had an idea, "hey, I know of something useful you can do – you just wait right here!" He turned and spoke quietly to the others; afterward, Miroku and Sango jumped on Kirara and headed off while the dog demon carried Kagome. They 'accidentally' forgot Shippo in all the excitement – who had to remain with Sesshomaru the whole time until they got back...everyone agreed it was a much better trip without him anyway, and decided they should 'forget' him more often.

They'd found Kohaku nearby and brought him back with them. Inuyasha went to remove the jewel shard from his back, but Sango said she'd do it instead. Kohaku remained calm and didn't move as his sister pulled the small piece of the jewel free and handed it to Kagome who took it along with all the other ones she'd snatched from Naraku's hoard. Blood suddenly began frothing from the young demon slayer's mouth and he quickly convulsed and fell dead to the ground. Needless to say, it was difficult for Sango to watch, and Miroku had to comfort her.

"Now," ordered Inuyasha, "use the Tenseiga to bring him back to life."

Sesshomaru stood motionless for several long, long moments – long enough for the people to come and erect an entire village around them as they stood there.

"Hello," Inuyasha yelled, "are you still awake, or did you die standing up or something?"

"Very well," cut in his demon half-brother, "I'll do it, but not because you told me to – only because the Tenseiga urged me to do it."

"Pfff! whatever just do it while we're still young!"

So at last Sesshomaru unsheathed his own sword and revived Kohaku; he then left, never to be seen by any of them ever again (yay).

More good things also happened: Miroku's wind tunnel went away and he could finally marry Sango like he promised (even though he got cold feet near the end but was quickly 'persuaded' with a little help from Hiraikotsu.)

(This is the part where I would have mentioned Kikiyo, but I won't. I'll just say that everything worked out fine for her too and leave it at that so Kagome won't get mad at me.)

Last of all, Inuyasha was faced with one of the most important decisions of his life: what to do with the Jewel of Four Souls?

"Will you become a full-blooded demon now," asked Miroku in his disapproving I-know-what's-good-for-you-more-than-you-do kind of way that went ignored by the hanyou.

"Why don't you use it to become human instead," suggested Sango, obviously thinking this would make Kagome happier.

Kagome, on the other hand, just kept to herself and remained annoyingly silent the whole time.

"Become human," balked Inuyasha, "are you out of your mind? I didn't struggle this far through life just to take a giant leap backwards; I want power!"

"So you're going to become a demon after all?"

"I never said that! Haven't you been paying attention – I just single-handedly defeated Naraku; I'm obviously stronger than any demon the way I am now!"

All eyes were fixed on Inuyasha. "So what does this mean," Kagome pointlessly asked.

He thrust the round stone into her hands, "you take care of it, Kagome; I'm remaining a half-demon!"

Kagome stared in shock for a moment at the jewel she held, then back up at the man she'd traveled with for so long, and threw her arms around Inuyasha.

The end.

…Oh yeah, and they all lived happily ever after.

So there! I can write a dumb story – big deal! I really don't see what the challenge is supposed to be. Then again I did pick the most interesting topic I know of, and I do have to admit it was kind of fun (even if the ending was a little mushy – so sue me!) I guess it's time to show this to Kagome and watch her jaw drop in amazement at my exact details and depictions – I'm sure she'll want to apologize (she probably didn't even think I knew how to write!) Maybe she'll bring it back to her own time and get it published or something so everyone there can read it. Yeah, I'll just bet that's what she'll do. As for me, I think I've made my point so I'm retiring from writing – I've got a life after all!