Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or another sow mentioned in this fic, and i'm really really sorry.
started writing this at 4am funnily enough, and just finished it off. I apologise muchly - Characters are our lovely labrats Hodges, Bobby, Archie and Henry and it hasn't been beta'd so sorry for any mistakes - besides the most obvious mistake of me writing it in the first place. It's more wordy than I meant, and you can probably tell I got pretty desperate by the end...
Whole New Dimension Of Weird
"Oh. My. Dear. God." Archie mumbled in disbelief at his computer screen before jumping out of his chair and half running to where the Ballistics, Toxicology and Trace labs were – Bobby, Henry and Hodges just had to see this.
"Guys, you have got to come and see this!" He squeaked excitedly as his tech friends peeked their heads of from their labs.
Hodges cocked his head on one side. "What? You finally got a girlfriend?"
Archie shot Hodges a look, before grabbing the closest of them (which happened to be Henry) by the arm and pulling him back to the A/V lab.
Bobby and Hodges followed on behind with amused expressions on their faces.
"Well what do ya know – Archie isn't completely weak after all."
"Yeah, but Hodges – You wouldn't exactly call Henry anything other than weightless either." Bobby replied in a whisper as they tried not to laugh at Archie half coaxing, half dragging him into the A/V lab.
"People are going to get the wrong idea if you ain't careful Archie." Hodges said to the extra geeky lab tech as he finally got Henry to sit down.
Archie gave Hodges yet another look and pointed to his computer monitor.
"Looooooook!" He whined, getting raised eyebrow expressions from everybody else.
"At what?" Bobby asked, slightly confused.
"READ it!" Archie sighed dramatically as his friends peered in closer to read the screen.
"What's Star Trek…'Fan Fiction'?" Henry asked, more than a little puzzled.
"And more importantly – Why have you dragged us away from work for something Star Trek related in the first place?" Hodges added, his arms folded and his expression a mixture of annoyance mixed with a slight smirk.
"Yeah – I do have guns to test, process and clean you know." Bobby said, which made Hodges roll his eyes at him.
"You and your babies."
"For the last time they are not my babies!" He sighed back.
"Shhhhh – is this website where people write stories based on fictional shows using copyrighted characters – For entertainment. But get this…" Archie trailed off as he navigated over to the 'C' section of 'TV Shows'.
"CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: New York." Henry read from the page.
"There's Crime Scene Investigation shows based on people like us now?" Bobby asked, surprised and a bit proud.
"Not people like us – US!" Archie said to the bewilderment of the others.
"You mean like from when that film crew came round?" Henry asked and Archie shook his head as he clicked on the 'CSI' subheading.
"…What the hell is GSR?" Bobby asked and Archie blushed.
"From what I can tell, it means 'Grissom/Sara Romance." He coughed as everyone went 'ewwww!' and Henry then looked at the character list.
"Hey how come I'm not mentioned?" Henry asked sadly as Hodges smirked on seeing his name up there.
"Guess you ain't important enough."
"I really don't get this." Bobby sighed as Henry on a whim then filtered the stories to show just Bobby Dawson stories – there were 10 of them.
"Oh my god!" Bobby groaned when he saw they were all pairing him with either Nick Stokes or…Hodges!
Hodges and Bobby took a step away from each other. "I think I'm going to be sick."
"I think it's these people who are sick!" Henry announced when he filtered to David Hodges stories hesitantly, only to find 4 pages worth of Greg/Hodges, Bobby/Hodges or Nick/Hodges.
"If you excuse me I need to go find something strong enough to give me amnesia of this event – 3 cups of Sara's Sludge should just about do it." Hodges moaned as he left the room.
Archie took over the keyboard from Henry and purposely not looking at 'his' stories, went back to the main page. "Look, they know about Nick's stalker and when he was buried alive! And when the lab blew up! And what happened to Greg when he was attacked!"
"This is so surreal."
"It's like someone's filming us…" Henry said, trailing off then looking round the room cautiously.
"'Disclaimer – I wish I owned CSI but unfortunately that is copyright of its writers and CBS'." Bobby read hoarsely. Still feeling the urge to throw up after reading that people were putting him and Hodges! Together as a couple…That was wrong on just so many levels!
"So what? Do we just do or say what the writers tell us to?" Hodges asked from the doorway cautiously.
"Maybe that's why you're such an insufferable bastard all the time." Henry suggested, ignoring Hodges glare.
"What if we killed the writers?" Bobby asked, causing the three of them to stare at him like he was going mad.
"I think being around all those guns has sent you a bit trigger happy Dawson." Hodges said snarkily.
"If we killed them we could live our own lives – It was them that killed Holly and nearly Brass, Nick and Greg…over and over – And what about this trial with that James kid he's going through now?" He said and Henry nodded his head.
"They must be sadists…Though some of these 'fan fiction' people seem worse."
Archie rubbed his temple. He had a major headache now. "Does this make any sense at all?"
"Not really." Said a high pitched female voice and a girl in blue jeans with a black 'Red Dwarf' T shirt on appeared behind them.
"Well this just entered a whole new dimension of weird." Archie muttered.
"Who the hell are you?" Hodges asked grumpily.
"ZK - I just wrote this fic."
"…I just had to ask!"
"Got bored of torturing Rimmer, Lister and Cat from Red Dwarf with awareness stories so came to annoy my fav lab techs instead!" The girl grinned.
"Wow. The specialness is overwhelming." Hodges deadpanned and the girl grinned wider.
"…Any chance you can stop writing now?" Bobby drawled tiredly ZK shrugged
"Sure."
The End