Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is the sole property of Bethesda and other companies associated with The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. Ha, now no one can sue me! Anything else, however, is mine, so kindly leave it that way.

Author's Note: Yeah, yeah, yeah, ANOTHER literary version of Oblivion, like we haven't seen enough of those. However, this one is more of a parody, or so I tried to make it. After beating the main quest and most of the side quests, I have found enjoyment in making new characters to experiment with classes. The one snag with this, however, is the annoying beginning, which I nearly know by heart, so I finally decided to take out my annoyance in a lengthy rant in story form. So, without further ado, here it is:

Chapter 1

Oh Sure, I Must be a Thief

I woke up with a crick in my neck and a cramp in my tail this morning without the slightest clue as to why I was in so much pain. Then I looked around and found it in a quick hurry. I had fallen asleep on some slab of rock with a sparse sprinkling of straw. That would cause anyone a fair amount of pain.

Groaning, I scraped myself up off the rock and stood up to look around the dim little squat I now found myself in this morning. Then I realized I couldn't see a thing. So I raised my hand, muttered some words, and activated my so loved Night-Eye ability. I realized at this point how much I loved being a Khajiit.

Anyways, as the night-eye took affect, I glanced around at my surroundings, and the memories finally took priority in my mind. That's right! I'm in the rat-infested Imperial pig-owned prison! Joy to all. Of course, I couldn't for the life of me remember what I had done. Insert nervous cough here. It was at this point that I imagined that the imaginary audience listening to my miserable tale all looked at me suspiciously. What? It wasn't my fault my arrow might have hit the wrong target…

Allow me to introduce myself to you, oh wonderful imaginary audience. My name is Jo'Rawlith, female Khajiit and former Witchhunter of Elsweyr, and a mere visitor to the province of Cyrodiil. The Imperial City Prison just had to be my first stop on my tour of the area.

'Course, none of that mattered now. Now was my first wonderfully full day here. I decided at this point to take a look around at the other unlucky souls I would be sharing my time with, so I walked up to the bar door to my cell and glanced around. I could see all of one cell. And lo and behold that cell belonged to the most annoying Dunmer in all Tamriel.

"Wake up, kitty kitty," he says in this whiny 'I've been in here far too long to still have my sanity' voice. Yeah, Dunmer, I'm already awake. That's why I'm standing here staring at you. Last I checked, I didn't sleep-walk. Or sleep-stare.

"That's it. There's a rat in my cell, Khajiit," oh, lovely, your typical 'I'm going to stereotype every race except my own' mer. What a wonderful time this would be.

"A fat, tasty rat," my mouth waters at the thought. Not.

"Does the kitty want it? Is the kitty hungry?" I'd eat a dark elf before I ate a rat.

"You'd better take whatever you can get in here, Khajiit. They don't feed the new prisoners," Never mind, I take it back; I'd hate for someone to actually take me seriously on that one.

"Didn't you know that? First they starve you. Then they beat you. Then, if you're lucky, they kill you. That's right. You're going to die in here!"

You know, is it just me, or does it seem like this guy has practiced this little speech of his? I mean, I probably would have interrupted him earlier and cursed him out in Ta'Agra, except he sounded like if I derailed his little speech he might have a heart-attack. Though I guess that when you have all hours of the day staring at four walls of solid stone for a life, the only interest you can find is to come up with speeches on the off chance another person will get thrown into this place. Hey, who knows, maybe after ol' white-hair here keels over dead, I'll have a speech for the next poor soul to take his place.

For now, my glorious speech-writing would have to wait, for my attention was drawn to the racket further in the prison just as my night-eye ability ended. Wonderful, now, in addition to the sound of armored footsteps, slamming doors, and steadily approaching voices, it was dark. Sure, I could cast it again, but I was too lazy for that. After all, I am a cat, aren't I?

"You hear that? The guards are coming, for you!" At this, the Dunmer laughed some idiotic 'I'm trying to be maniacal but failing miserably at it' laugh and ran to hide further in his cell.

Well, I got nothing better to do, so as the sounds approached, I walked up to the gate door of my cell and leaned casually on it, reaching my arms through and resting them on the cold metal of one of the horizontal support bars, to get a closer look at the outside world of the prison. Now the voices were close enough I could make out the conversation with my nice pointy cat ears. This time I didn't even have time to be thankful for being a Khajiit before my attention shifted.

"My sons, they're dead, aren't they?" that came from an old male, or so the voice insinuated. Didn't seem like a guard to me; no guards I'd met were as old as this one sounded, nor did they talk about their sons being dead.

"We don't know that, sire. The messenger only said they were attacked," younger voice this time, and most definitely female. There was a tone of authority to her voice; this one definitely sounded more guard-ish.

"No, they're dead. I know it," back to the first voice as a guard decked out in some fancy armor strode up to my cell. I could've sworn I heard the Dunmer snicker in his cell, but it was hard to tell.

"My job right now is to get you to safety," back to the female voice as its owner came into view and also stopped in front of my cell. What? Safety? In a prison? Is she mad?

My golden eyes flicked between the three figures as a third joined the cluster in front of my cell. This one looked to be the owner of the first voice: some old guy in clothes even nobles probably couldn't afford. I took a quick glance at the sack cloth clothes I was wearing. Wow, opposite sides of the spectrum there.

"What's this prisoner doing in here?! This cell is supposed to be off-limits!" The female guard again, finally noticing that I was still leaning very casually against my cell door watching all of them. Gee, I wonder what a prisoner was doing in a prison cell. I don't know, maybe quietly serving my sentence? I considered actually saying this, but a glance at their pretty guard armor and nice swords sealed my mouth.

"Usual mix up with the watch—I..." this was the first guard that had stopped in front of my cell. Definitely lower ranking than the female guard, judging by the way he stuttered.

"Never mind. Get that gate open," female guard again. What? You mean the gate I'm still leaning on? I pulled my arms back into my cell and took my weight off the gate. Hey, if they wanted to open the gate, I wasn't about to stop 'em.

"Stand back prisoner! We won't hesitate to kill you if you get in our way!" this was addressed to me, and in response to the threat, I did my best imitation of a lioness warning you away from her food. That is, I bared my fangs and hissed at the female guard. It didn't seem to faze her at all. Drat.

"You, prisoner, stand aside! Over by the window! Stay out of our way and you won't get hurt!" This was the other guard. I turned my hiss to him. What? It wasn't like they'd actually kill a prisoner. They'd probably have a heck load of paper work to deal with later, and these guard types always avoid paper work.

"Prisoner! Stand over by the window, now!" when I still didn't move, the guard glanced back at his superior, and she gave a slight shake of her head. See? They're going to avoid that paper work any way they can. And I was taking advantage of what was likely going to be my only excitement in quite some time.

The male guard repeated his order, and when I still didn't move, the female guard finally took command, drawing her sword, a rather shiny katana-like blade, and stepping forward.

"This is your last warning, Khajiit. Stand back." This time I got the feeling that paper work or no, she wasn't kidding. Something in her tone, or maybe it was the sight of that deadly looking blade in her hand. In any case, I finally listened, walking casually back to stand at attention under the window. And by window, we all mean a hole in the wall scarcely larger than a crack with just enough room for more metal bars. As if anyone could escape through that thing anyways.

Now that they figured I was being cooperative, the female guard sheathed her sword and the male guard finally opened the gate, taking the lead inside to come stand by me and point to the spot where I was standing, instructing me to stay put. I hardly paid attention; my eyes were on that nice open gate.

'Course, it was at this point I finally realized that there was a fourth person with the group when another male voice reported that there was "no sign of pursuit." At that, the female guard led the old man into my cell, followed by the male guard who had just spoken.

"Good, let's go. We're not out of this yet," she said as she walked over to the wall beside the slab of rock that was my miserable bed.

Before I got to find out what she was doing, the old man addressed me, "You…I've seen you." What? You mean a couple minutes ago when I was staring at you from my then closed cell gate? He came closer.

"Let me see your face… you are the one from my dreams. Then the stars were right, and this is the day. Gods give me strength," I was, at this point, understandably confused.

"What in the forests of Elsweyr is going on?" I asked in my raspy Khajiit voice. He seemed at least partially amused by this.

"Assassins attacked my sons, and I am next. My Blades are leading me out a secret escape root. By chance, the entrance to that route leads through your cell," ah, that makes things oh so much clearer.

"Who are you?" I asked simply. First things first, right?

"I am your emperor, Uriel Septim," ah, that would explain why I've never seen him before. Nine forbid we common folk ever see who's in control of our lives as long as we're in Tamriel. "By the grace of the gods, I serve Tamriel as her ruler. You are a citizen of Tamriel, and you, too, shall serve her in your own way."

I glanced around; sure, I'm serving to keep the cell warm for the next poor soul who gets thrown in here!

"Why am I in jail?" I asked; I couldn't for the life of me recall why. Don't you remember that discussion?

"Perhaps the Gods have placed you here so that we may meet. As for what you have done, it does not matter. That is not what you will be remembered for." Remembered, ha! What a laugh. I won't be remembered for anything, just like every other commoner on all Nirn. But of course, leave it to the nobles to worry about people actually remembering things.

"What should I do?" oh great and mighty Emperor… I decided against adding that last part with a quick glance at the guards.

"You will find your own path. Take care; there will be blood and death before the end." Oh, what a way to comfort someone. You know, I had asked in the hopes he would tell me to go walk out the front door of the prison, that no one would stop me. Way to shoot that dream down, buddy.

"Please, sire, we must keep moving." That was the female guard again, pressing some stone on the wall.

This resulted in a stony grating sound as my miserable bed-slab slid into the floor. Hey, that was my miserable bed! Once again, a glance at the guards sealed my mouth. As soon as the "bed" stopped moving, the wall behind it cracked and something of a door slid open. The guard pushed it further open, saying "Better not close this one; there's no way to open it from the other side."

Wow. Just. Wow. I had just enough time to thank my Khajiit luck for sticking me in the cell that had a nice large unguarded doorway in the back. Course I had already forgotten the emperor's words of the secret escape route, leaving me to be surprised by the route suddenly appearing. What? My memory's faulty. Family curse of mine.

The emperor and the two male guards filed in after the female guard had entered the area beyond the stone door, seemingly forgetting my presence. At least until the last one paused right before entering to look back at me.

"Looks like this is your lucky day. Just stay out of our way." No need to tell me twice. This route seemed much better an idea than trying to waltz out my still open cell door.

As the convoy moved on, I took a triumphant glance over at the cell across the hall where the Dunmer was looking at me with a seething death glare, then dropped into a crouch and moved to follow the others; I had a feeling that things wouldn't be pretty after my prior bad experiences with caves and the underground, so I planned to sneak my way past any danger at all.

I found the area beyond my cell to be part of some ancient stone structure, and quite frankly I wasn't sure I wanted to know what it had been used for before the stone started to crumble. I quietly followed the guards down a small flight of stairs, keeping a respective distance, and when I stubbed my furry foot on a crack in the floor, hard, I decided I best make use of my Night-Eye ability.

Ah, much better. I continue to follow the guards, but stopped dead in my tracks when the sounds of battle came from around the next corner. I peeked around very slowly so as to not attract attention to myself and watched as figures cloaked in red jumped out, cast some random spell, and all of a sudden were decked out in some wicked looking armor with even more wicked looking weapons. Wonder-fricken-ful.

"Close up left; protect the emperor!" the female guard shouted as they began to engage the enemy. I decided that, with no weapon to speak of, and no desire to trust my faulty aim with a spell, I'd stay right where I was and let the guards put their nice shiny swords through a workout.

"The captain's down!" one of the male guards called a few sword clashes later as he and the other male guard continued to face their three opponents. Several more sword clashes later and they finally dispatched the last of them. Sheathing their swords, the guards walked over to the emperor, who had hung back in relative safety for the battle, not having to use his pretty silver short sword.

"Are you alright, sire? We're clear, for now," one of the guards, the Redguard that I had noticed last when the convoy came to my cell, addressed the emperor as I crept forward, eyeing what was left of the battle; I needed a weapon if there were to be more complications such as this.

"Captain Renault?" the emperor asked.

"She's dead; I'm sorry, sire, but we have to keep moving."

As they both turned to walk onwards towards the other guard, I continued to creep towards the fallen enemies and the no-longer-with-us Captain. The group paused at a gate, while the Imperial guard started ranting.

"How could they be waiting for us here?!"

They continued their conversation, but I was uninterested; far too busy getting myself a weapon. None of the enemies had anything of interest; just some red robes. They looked better than what I was wearing, but I decided against donning the clothes of the enemy in front of the guards. Captain Renault, however, had some weapons that interested me. I had the choice of her katana, or a steel short sword. I opted for the short sword; always was better with shorter blades, but snagged the katana just in case.

At this point the group was moving on, and the Redguard decided to end my luck by saying, "You stay here, prisoner; don't try to follow us," and by locking the next gate behind him. Darn.

I was just about to head back to my cell and resign myself to serving my sentence when a section of wall crumbled and two dog-sized rats decided to try to make me their dinner. Had I not been worried about killing them first, I might have died of laughter from the irony.

The little buggers were tough, and those bloody teeth of theirs hurt, and I was none to happy to find that my skill with a blade was a bit rusty. I did manage to kill them both—their fur ain't armor, and this sword is sharp—but not before taking a few hits from the nasty little things. And wouldn't you know I just didn't have any potions with me, and restoration had never been my strong point, so my wounds would just have to wait. Crud.

I did, however, manage to pick the rats clean of a bit of their meat, though. Rat meat makes for some nasty poisons, as I had previously learned, and I was happy to gather the supplies while I had the chance. Only problem being that I had no apparatus to make poison, but it was always good to be prepared.

I crept through the gaping hole in the wall the rats had left to find a seemingly man-made cave waiting for me. Lovely. Well, it was this or my cell; I opted for the lesser of two evils.

Glancing around, I found a pretty little chest with some gold and a war ax in it. I took the gold. I left the ax. No use to me and I didn't fancy lugging a dead weight around at the moment. Keeping an eye out for rats, I crept my way towards the next object of interest: a skeleton. Woo. Never get tired of checking corpses.

Though I did find a bow; piece of junk, really, but it was something; I'm a relatively good shot with a bow; better with bow than sword, at least, and far better than with a spell. I tested my aim on a nearby rat that I luckily just now noticed before it noticed me, and found that I had not lost my skill. Dropped that thing with a single arrow, I did. Far better than blindly hacking at 'em with a sword.

Now certain that there were no more rats in the near vicinity, I took a better look around and found a chest on which I could practice my good 'ol Khajiit lock-picking skills on. At least, if I had lock picks. Lucky for me, I spotted a few scattered about the skeleton that I had found my bow and arrows on. Lucky day!

Using my wonderful cat-like security skills, I didn't even break a single pick and was rewarded with gold and a sapphire. Yay, I'm still just a poor as I was a minute ago! Further checking my surroundings, I found another chest, a barrel, and a goblin corpse. That added to my supplies a few more arrows and lock picks and a scarce amount of gold. But gee, I wonder if I'll have to kill some goblins later?

Also on the goblin corpse I found a key which just so happened to unlock the door about five steps away. Luck will be my savior yet.

That first "room" pretty much set the pace of my journey through this rotting cave. A rat here, a goblin there, a chest or sack with some arrows over there, a few more lock picks to add to my collection, some more useless equipment that I decided to leave rather than lug around. I even got the chance to check my aim with spells. And I found I still wasn't any good at it. Yay for me! I found my best, safest way of combat was to sneak up on enemies and put an arrow clean through 'em. Not that I would've expected different; I must be the one Khajiit in Nirn with a knack for a bow. Of course, that may have something to do with my prior training, but let's not get into that.

Among the loot, I managed to find some healing potions to heal the wounds from my first scrap with the rats, and enough to heal any further wounds I garnered. I also managed to find some ripe Cairn Bolete plants, which I remembered had some handy healing properties, and an ancient mortar and pestle with which I made a couple poisons out of the other material I had found. These greatly helped my ability to drop creatures quickly and easily, reducing the number of wounds I received when a single arrow wasn't enough. Stupid goblins.

My journey finally brought me back to a different part of the stone underground structure that this whole thing had started in. Imagine that. With luck still guiding me, as I moved forward I heard the rhythmic metallic sound of the guards in the convoy walking. What are the chances that two completely different roots come to the same place at the exact same time? Wow.

From my vantage point of a floor above them, I could hear the group's conversation as they moved below.

"We should find a defensible spot and protect the emperor until help arrives."

"Help? What makes you think help…?" I stopped listening at this point; having my Night-Eye active allowed me to see the movement in the area directly opposite of where I was; more of those robed fighters about to attack.

"Here they come again!"

Battle ensued, but ended quickly; the guards dispatched one of the attackers, the other fell to the last of my poisoned arrows. Thinking they'd be glad to see me after the assistance I had just rendered, I easily jumped down to be at the same level with them, putting my bow on my back upon landing; no need to seem like a threat.

Not that it helped me. As soon as he saw me, the Imperial guard yanked out his sword and started towards me, "It's that prisoner again! Kill her, she might be working with the assassins!" Oh sure, I'm an assassin come to kill the emperor when I just got out of jail. I raised my hands to show I had no weapon, but this didn't help either; guess he thought I was about to try to blast him into Oblivion with some spell. Ha! With my aim, too!

"No, she is not one of them. She can help us. She must help us," that was the emperor, and just in time, too. The guard stopped his forward advance, sheathed his sword, and retook his position at the front of the convoy as the emperor came towards me. I stayed where I was, still a little weary of the guards; I no longer wished to bet my life on the fact that they didn't want paperwork.

"Come closer; I'd prefer not to have to shout," I obeyed, eyeing the guards; I decided that disobeying the emperor would be more dangerous than getting within attack distance of his guards.

"They cannot understand why I trust you. They've not seen what I've seen." Uh-huh. Don't explain yourself at all there, buddy. Feel free to talk in riddles all you like. Guess all old people get that right eventually.

"How can I explain?" Wow. So now this guy reads minds, too?

"Listen. You know the Nine? How They guide our fates with an invisible hand?"

"I don't know. I don't think about it," I responded; I'm a Khajiit, we have our own deities to care about apart from the Nine. Not that I pay too much attention them either; luck's about all I care about.

"I've served the Nine all my days, and I chart my course by the cycles of the heavens." The Emperor didn't seem too bothered by my answer, which was good, but one of the guards had given a slight snort of what I assumed to be disapproval, which was bad.

"The skies are marked with numberless sparks, each a fire, and every one a sign," you mean the stars? Guess "star" isn't fancy enough for the emperor.

"I know these stars well, and I wonder… which sign marked your birth?" Never mind. He just wanted to be enigmatic earlier.

I paused to think before answering; we Khajiit watch the moons before the stars, but I did recall being told which sign I was born under. Just couldn't remember which one…

"Uh," I said, rather dumbly, "I think it was the Lady." It sounded right, whether or not it was, however, was a different story. But hey, what's it going to effect?

"The signs I read show the end of my path. My death, a necessary end, will come when it will come."

"What about me?" I asked, wondering why he had asked my birth sign.

"Your stars are not mine. Today the Lady shall fortify you in your quest for glory." Ha, yeah, quest for glory, that's a good one.

"Can you see my fate?" I asked, deciding to humor him for the sake of keeping the guards happy.

"My dreams grant me no opinions of success. Their compass ventures not beyond the doors of death." Great, more riddles. "But in your face, I behold the sun's companion. The dawn of Akatosh's bright glory may banish the coming darkness." You know what? I'm not even going to say it.

"With such hope, and with the promise of your aid, my heart must be satisfied."

"Aren't you afraid to die?" I changed the subject at that promise of my aid part.

"No trophies of my triumphs precede me. But I have lived well, and my ghost shall rest easy. Men are but flesh and blood. They know their doom, but not the hour. In this, I am blessed to see the hour of my death…To face my apportioned fate, then fall."

"Where are we going?" All this was getting a bit depressing for me; I hoped this answer would not be so dark.

"I go to my grave." Maybe not. "A tongue shriller than all the music calls me." Fascinating.

"You shall follow me yet for a while, then we must part." At this, he turned to walk towards the Imperial guard. I started to follow, but a hand grasped my shoulder and turned me to face the Redguard.

"You may as well make yourself useful. Here, carry this torch and stick close." He thrust the torch at me, but I opted not to use it; I'd rather keep my shadows for any more combat.

"The emperor called you his "Blades" earlier. What did he mean?" I asked, hoping to distract him from the fact that I wasn't going to carry the torch.

"We're the emperor's bodyguards; our job is to get him out of situations like this," he said with authority, then continued in a quieter voice, "Although I admit, things are not going according to plan." Nah, hadn't noticed.

I nodded in understanding and he turned to follow the others, while I hung back and readied my bow, my fur tingling with the sensation we were still being watched. I followed them to the next room, but when they went for the stairs leading down to the lower level, I waited on the top level where I could see better. Good thing I did, because I caught the sight of movement in the opposite section of the higher level, and was able to land an arrow into one of the attackers, wounding him so that when he jumped to attack the others the Blades dispatched him easily and quickly moved on to the other attacker, who had come from the next room.

As the others moved on, I opted not to waste time on the stairs and simply jumped down to hurry after them, sticking close to them, seeing as they were my best bet of survival. The next room consisted of three more attackers which I left the guards to handle; I didn't trust my aim not to peg one of the convoy instead of an enemy, not with all of them running around as they were.

As the group moved on to the next room, I paused to collect some potions from a chest I had spotted during the battle, then hurried after them. Not that I needed to hurry, they had stopped in the next room; I arrived just in time to here the Imperial say that he didn't like the look of this as he moved forward to investigate, leaving the rest of us to wait.

I moved to put myself in a position where I could cover him should there be attackers, but it was hardly necessary; nothing happened, and he simply signaled us to move on, so we did, me waiting to drop back behind the others again. However, as soon as we reached the next gate, the Imperial guard leading stopped and cursed, yanking his sword out as though expecting an attack. I tensed and looked around, but saw nothing, just as he started to explain.

"The gate is barred from the other side! A trap!" Well, that can't be good. I tensed even more, putting an arrow to my bow, just in case.

"What about that side passage back there?" the Redguard suggested. I glanced towards it. Sure didn't look safe to me, but I wasn't going to argue.

"Worth a try, let's go." I followed like the good prisoner I was, all the while having my fur stand on end, my instincts screaming at me that this was a dumb idea.

"It's a dead end. What's your call, sir?" the Redguard reported just as I stepped into the small side room.

"I don't know; I don't see any good options here."

Suddenly the sound of movement back in the main room alerted us to more attackers.

"They're behind us! Wait here, sire," the Imperial said before moving towards the main room.

"Wait here with the emperor. Guard him with your life." The Redguard ordered me before joining the other Blade. I waited with the emperor, ready to shoot any attackers that decided to try the side passage; more for my own safety than for the emperor's, but at least I was following orders.

"I can go no further," the emperor said suddenly, and I turned to look at him, distracting me from my job, "You alone must stand against the Prince of Destruction and his mortal servants. He must not have the Amulet of Kings!" He said, thrusting a large red amulet into my right hand and causing me to drop the arrow that I had been holding to my bow string. I stared at the amulet curiously for a moment before the emperor spoke again.

"Take the Amulet. Give it Jauffre. He alone knows where to find my last son." Now I was royally confused. I thought he had said earlier his sons were dead… "Find him, and close shut the jaws of Oblivion."

At this point, the wall behind him started to move, and I caught a glimpse of dark red. Knowing it must be another attacker, I quickly pocketed the amulet and grasped the arrow I had dropped earlier, but there was no way. Before I could get the shot off, and even if I had, knowing that it wouldn't kill the attacker, the assassin slid a wicked dagger across the emperor's throat from his position behind him.

As the emperor fell, I loosed my arrow. It struck the attacker, but didn't kill him, as I knew it wouldn't. Before I could get another arrow to my bow, he had advanced and was hacking madly at me with his dagger. I took plenty of hits before I was able to jump backwards out of range, just as the Redguard came in and finished the attacker off. Wounded and in a world of pain, I watched solemnly as the Redguard crouched by the fallen emperor.

"No…Talos save us," he muttered.

"We've failed. I've failed… The Blades are sworn to protect the Emperor, and now he and all his heirs are dead." He said, talking more to his self than to me though he was looking right at me.

"The Amulet, where's the Amulet of Kings? It wasn't on the Emperor's body!" this time he was very clearly addressing me.

I reached into my pocket and pulled it out just enough that the guard could see it, "The Emperor gave it to me."

"Strange. He saw something in you, trusted you." He said, looking back and forth from the amulet to me, "They say it's the Dragon Blood that flows through the veins of every Septim. They see more than lesser men," I slid the Amulet back into my pocket and finally placed my bow on my back, sure that no other attackers would show up now the emperor was dead.

"The Amulet of Kings is a sacred symbol of the Empire. Most people think of the Red Dragon Crown, but that's just jewelry," the Redguard continued, "The Amulet has power. Only a true heir of he Blood can wear it, they say." Who's this they everyone always mentions? I'd really love to know.

"He must have given it to you for a reason. Did he say why?"

"He said to take it to Jauffre."

"Jauffre? He said that? Why?" Why do I get the feeling I'm not supposed to know who Jauffre is? Some Imperial secret or something, perhaps.

"He said there is another heir." You know, one that ain't dead.

"Nothing I ever heard about." Yeah, that's why the emperor said that 'he alone knows where to find my last son' last I checked that meant that no one else would know it.

"But Jauffre would be the one to know. He's the Grandmaster of my Order." Ah, that would be why I'm not supposed to know who he is. Another important person we poor commoners don't get the right to know about.

"Although you may not think so to meet him. He lives quietly as a monk at Weynon Priory, near the city of Chorrol." All the way to Chorrol? But that'd take, like, forever! It's not like I have a horse, and I'm a bit rusty on running a lot.

"How do I get there?" I asked, hoping he'd instruct me on how to get a bit of faster transportation.

"First you need to get out of here." Oh yeah, how ever could I forget that? Even with my faulty memory. "Through that door must be the entrance to the sewers, past the locked gate. That's where we were heading." Ah, lovely, sewers. "It's a secret way out of the Imperial City. Or it was supposed to be secret. Here, you'll need this key for the last door into the sewers."

"What do you mean sewers?" You were going to take the emperor through a sewer?

"There are rats and goblins down there…" oh, so you mean exactly what I've faced since leaving my cell? Which I'm starting to think I should have just stayed in? "But from what I've seen of you, I'm guessing you are an experienced Thief. Am I right?"

It was a good thing I had put my bow on my back earlier, or I might just have bashed him over the head with it. Stupid typical stereotyping guards! Oh, it's a Khajiit in jail, it must be a Thief! There aren't any other crimes a Khajiit could commit to get thrown in jail but thievery! Nine forbid any Khajiit try to make something of themselves that does not include breaking the law for a living. Just because I'd rather keep my distance from an enemy and hide in the shadows to avoid my own personal harm, that all of a sudden makes me a thief?! Oh what I wouldn't give to wipe that smug smile from his face now! But seeing as he still had his sword, I did not voice my rant.

"Actually, no," I said, with a great effort to hide my annoyance, "I'm a Witchhunter," I explained in that dangerously calm voice that says 'I'm about five seconds from exploding'.

"Really? I would never have guessed," oh, am I'm so sure that your inability to guess that has absolutely nothing to do with your stereotyping mind! "Still, I don't think you'll have any trouble with rats and goblins." Humph.

"After the sewers, then what?" I asked, still struggling to conceal my annoyance.

"You must get the Amulet to Jauffre. Take no chances, but proceed to Weynon Priory immediately. Got it?" I nodded, ready to take out my anger on some of those rats and goblins he mentioned.

"Good. The Emperor's trust was well-placed." As I turned to go, he noticed the Captain's katana that I was still carrying strapped under my quiver, "By the way, thanks for recovering Captain Renault's sword," I took this to mean I wouldn't get out of here with that sword, so I grabbed it and tossed it to him, "I'll see that it is given a place of honor in the halls of the Blades." Great. As if I care.

Without another word, I headed towards the secret passage the assassin had used earlier and quietly made my way towards the sewers, readying my bow and chugging down a healing potion before I unlocked the next door with the guard's key and then slipped down the hole into the sewers, not bothering with the ladder. Once there, I notched an arrow to my bow string and moved on, taking the only available course there was. At least I couldn't get lost.

Several rats, goblins, and drops of I don't want to know what landing on my head later, I was out. The light at the end of the tunnel called me as I sprinted down the sewage pipe to sweet freedom. My happiness was further elevated when I managed to spot a mud crab near by before it saw me, despite my aforementioned sprinting, and took it down in order to enjoy a brief meal of crab meat. There is no better food on Nirn than seafood.