A/N: First off, I don't own any of these characters, JK Rowling does.

Second, I realize that this has probably already been done before. I didn't write this as an origonal idea, it's really a hodge-podge of a lot of my favorite Remus stories from all over the place. I wrote this at midnight one night when I couldn't sleep, and I have no Beta. It was also written so that I could get a feel for how to write the characters of the four Marauders and as appeasement for a friend of mine who demanded fanfiction from me.

With all of this in mind, enjoy the story, and please review.

Werewolf Lessons

Sixteen-year-old Remus Lupin bit back a bark of laughter as the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor announced that week's material: werewolves. He heard sniggers coming from behind him, to his left, and behind him to his left: Sirius Black, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew, respectively. Moans and shudders ran throughout the rest of the room as the other students realized that they were going to learn just how terrifying full moons could be.

"Now that we have established our material for the next week, I want to begin by debunking any rumors that you may have. Each one of you will give what you think is a fact about werewolves, and I will either give points, or correct you. We'll start with… Lilly Evans."

The red-head jumped and sat still for a moment before replying, "Werewolves cannot touch silver."

So sorry, Miss Evans, but that one would be false, thought Remus as he toyed with a silver charm hanging from a silver chain around his neck. The Professor answered her, "A common misconception, Miss Evans, but werewolves react to silver the same way as you or I would. Mr. Snape."

The black-haired boy with sallow skin glared at the Professor, "Werewolves are vicious beats with no regard for anyone but themselves."

"Better watch it, Snivelus, before I decide to wash your mouth out." muttered Sirius.

"He has a good reason to be angry." Remus replied.

"But that doesn't mean I have to be nice to him."

"True." Remus smiled.

"Half true, Mr. Snape. Five points to Slytherin. While a werewolf is a monster during the night of a full moon, he has the ability to maintain his own personality during the rest of the month. There are werewolves, known as ferals, who do not choose to maintain their humanity and will thus become monsters all the time. These are becoming more the frequently seen types of werewolves.

"Mr. Malfoy."

James sniggered, "He's such a peacock."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "He's related to me somehow, my mum won't stop going on about how ALL of my relatives are in Slytherin and how the hell did I end up in…" a shudder, "Gryfindor?! The travesty!" He chuckled, "Loonies, the lot of the them."

"Your family, or Slytherins in general?" asked James.

"Slytherins. Which would include all of my family except the ones blasted off the family tree."

The other three sniggered.

Malfoy answered in his usual drawl, "A werewolf ages faster than any human, their monthly transformations straining them beyond their physical limitations."

"Very good, Mr. Malfoy, ten points to Slytherin."

"Don't werewolves have yellow eyes?" Asked some brave soul from the back of the classroom.

"No, only as wolves do werewolves have yellow eyes."

"I want yellow eyes. See how people react." Remus muttered.

"Werewolves are immune to pain."

Remus yipped as Sirius poked him harshly in the shoulder to disprove that one.

"I'm sorry, that is a myth as well. The werewolf has an unusual level of tolerance for pain because of its monthly transformations, but is not by any means immune to pain." The Professor corrected.

"Magic doesn't affect werewolves." Piped up another student.

James chuckled as Sirius again tested this theory on poor Remus. Giggles erupted throughout the classroom as a result. Even though no one knew the purpose of Sirius' action, it was still funny to see the normally reserved Remus Lupin nodding his head violently as if in time to some loud Rock music with electric blue hair poking up in odd directions. A glare from the Professor ended that quickly.

"Magic affects werewolves just the same as anyone else except on nights of full moons, Miss Lestrange. Except the Crutiatus curse, because of the werewolf's high pain threshold, and the Imperius curse. The Imperius curse, when cast on any human, pushes the human consciousness into dormancy. In a werewolf, this opens up an opportunity for the wolf consciousness to take control, causing the werewolf to go feral."

"Is that true?" asked James quietly.

"Well, I've never tested the theory, but I believe it more that the Professor does, I think. If I were to lose control for just a minute in between full moons… I'd rather not think about that."

"It's not like you would hurt us." Sirius murmured.

"Yes, Padfoot, I would."

"What does being feral really mean?" Peter piped up.

This question was voiced rather too loudly, because the Professor answered, "We'll discuss that near the end of the week, Mr. Pettigrew."

"Isn't the only way to kill a werewolf by shooting it through the heart with a silver bullet?"

"If you were to shoot anything at the speed of a bullet through the heart of a werewolf, I believe it would die. If you were to hit it hard enough with a lump of silver, it would die. If you were to stab it with a knife made of any metal, it would die. The myth of silver against werewolves is a mess of utter fabrications."

"So if I hit you in the head with a lump of silver, you'd die, Moony?" Sirius asked.

"Hit me hard enough in the head with a lump of anything and I'd die. You don't hit me hard enough, and I'll bite, full moon or not."

James laughed quietly.

"What about running water?"

"Running water, Miss Prewett?" asked the Professor.

"Isn't it true that werewolves cannot cross running water?"

Remus stared, there were some odd rumors about werewolves.

"No, I'm sorry. That is also a myth. Honestly, more Slytherins are getting points for this than Griffyndors."

"There's some question as to why this is?" Sirius muttered, and Remus choked back a fit of manic giggles.

"Of course they know more about werewolves, and all the Dark Arts, for that matter." James added.

"Honestly, I thought the Professors knew this. The only people who might be able to match Slytherins in Defense Against the Dark Arts are the Ravenclaws, because of their being incessant know-it-alls." Sirius said with his mischievous grin.

"And Remus." added Peter.

"What?" asked Remus with feigned ignorance.

"Oh, right: perfect prefect Remus Lupin, who always has the answers to everything. Honestly, you should have been in Ravenclaw, mate." James sniggered.

"I would have been in Ravenclaw, but the hat must have seen some bravery in me somewhere."

"You four!" barked the Professor.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter went suddenly silent with mischievous grins splayed across their faces while an expectant hush fell over the rest of the classroom. "Yes?" they chimed in practiced unison.

"Since the lot of you seem to think you don't need today's lesson, why don't each of you give a true fact about werewolves."

They grinned.

"Werewolves are devilishly cunning," Remus began.

"Pathetic at Qudditch," James added.

"Hardworking to the point of ridiculousness," elaborated Sirius.

"And prone to excitability when given sugar." finished Peter.

The classroom roared with laughter as the Professor smiled at Remus.

Remus simply basked in the camaraderie that he had become addicted to and let the laughter of the room fill him up. This was why the wolf in him could never claim him: all he had to do was remember laughter and he would find the strength to beat the wolf back down. And that was all that mattered.