CP was writing the third book when it happened.

The Burning Plains are a depressing place, especially when you are fighting a war on them. They are even more depressing when you have little food, the temperature is 100 degrees and you are wearing armor. Times were tough.

The men in the Varden camp were weary and lethargic. It seemed as though every second in the hazy heat of the plains sucked the energy right out of them. Two of them were literally collapsed upon the ground, the daily efforts to much for them. A robed figure passed them.

Then the dubious happened. (Love that word)

The men sat up with surprising speed, and with inconceivable speed, looked around, gingerly hopped up and walked away, talking animatedly.

Around them, the same effect was being observed all over the Varden camp.

CP looked at what had just been typed upon his computer screen, seeing what was happening to the third book of the Inheritance Trilogy, and managed to gabble out two words.

"Oh CRAP!"

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Disclaimer; I do not own the Inheritance Trilogy, or any other thing I make references to. I do own any characters that I say are mine. Obviously.

I decided to make this because I have been nurturing this idea for a fic for a long time. I have wanted to make fun of Mary-Sues and all aspects of them and their stories. So here it is. I hope you enjoy this new fic that will actually been something other than a one-shot.

WARNING; If you are allergic to Mary Sues and witty comebacks, this fanfic is not for you.

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"Looks I have some competition." muttered Arya.

She had observed what had happened to all the Varden around her, and her elven scenes immediately deduced what was happening. She knew the infestation would have to be destroyed, but she couldn't risk having anyone find out, or worse, meet, IT.

This problem would have to be dealt with subtly and delicacy, if not, the entire Inheritance Franchise would be affected, first she would have to find a way to make sure the main characters didn't find out about this new problem, and then-

BLAM!

The doors on the fourth wall burst open. CP was standing in the doorway and had a facial expression on his face that looked like bloodlust. He screamed and yelled;

"WHO PUT THE MARY-SUE IN MY STORY!!!!"

"A Mary-sue? In this story? You must be joking." said Eragon as he stared at his perfect face in the mirror while combing is already impeccable hair.

"WELL SOMEBODY IS PUTTING A PERFECTION INTO THE THIRD BOOK, SO WHO IS IT!!???"

"First off, stop yelling, it hurts my delicate eardrums." said Eragon in a voice that had a 'I am superior to you' undertone.

"I'M NOT YELLING, YOU LITTLE-"

Arya put a hand up, CP stopped yelling. "Good. Now, what do you suppose we do about this girl?"

Eragon looked up and said. "I told you it can't be a Mary-sue!"

Roran took a step toward Eragon, "He is right you know, there isn't any substantial evidence for us to come to a conclusion that there is a Mary-Sue in the story, just because there is a perfection radiating out from a mysterious hooded person we do not know the identity to yet, that does not give us reason to suspect that a Mary-sue has managed to escape out of..." He turned his head, and looked around the room, then continued. "THAT place."

Murmurs of agreement filled the room.

CP's computer beeped on and said; "I-hate-to-break-it-to-you, but-we-are-in-THAT-place. The-probability-of-a-Mary-Sue-infestation-is-very-high. Unfortunately."

Silence filled the room, then everyone yelled in unison two words;

"Oh CRAP!"

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Outside in the pale moonlight, the hooded figure took of her hood, revealing a beautiful face beyond imagination. Her eyes were like deep pools into the night sky. Even in the darkness, you could tell she had unusually colored eyes. Her hair was as white as snow, and she had not a wrinkle on her perfect face. She had the toughness of a human, the beauty of an elf, and the fierceness of a dragon. You could tell that just by looking at her. And on her palm was the silver gedwey ignasia, glowing in the darkness.

In other words, any way you looked at it, she was Mary Sue.

Uh Oh.

To be continued……