White Day, Black Death

Breathe in, breathe out…

God, my lungs are killing me. They hurt so much, but after your throat's hit with a kunai, wouldn't they?

I can see all of the citizens and my fellow shinobi, who are near me examining the damage done to one of their comrades. I sigh, yet it hurts, when he manages to stand up with only a kunai dug deep into his leg. He would live because his damage was not permanent; but mine, on the other hand, was.

I hear whining coming from my right side, so I turn my head and look right into the eyes of my nin dogs. They look so sad, and their eyes are glazed over. Pakkun, the smallest of my dogs, then calls out and catches the attention of the others. I'd rather be alone at the moment, but the fates do not allow it to be so. I hear them shuffle over to my spot.

At the sight of my body, their reaction is worse than I imagined. Many gasp, some cry out in shock, though the others simply look sick at the sight of my mangled body; kunai and shuriken are embedded deep within my flesh, and my blood runs freely through the numerous open wounds.

My vision is turning blurry, but it comes back after a few blinks. Three new civilians are now looking down upon me, and they are the last ones I ever want to let see me like this…Team 7. Sakura lets out a gasp and covers her mouth; Sasuke is stunned in his tracks; Naruto has a look of pure horror on his face. This is something that they should not look at, something that they should turn away from…the body of their dying sensei.

I feel tickling in my throat, and then blood comes up. Everybody jumps back in surprise, probably because they thought I was already dead. Sakura immediately drops herself down and sends her healing powers into my body. A look of frustration is clearly on her face. Naruto bends down to help her, while Sasuke is still standing there. Naruto unzips my Jounin vest to allow Sakura easier access to my heart, while he roughly pulls out all of the enemies' weapons. As each one is pulled out, Sakura places her hand over each wound and closes it. I cry out when a kunai it pulled out too quickly at the section of my heart; I look up to find Naruto holding the broken handle of the kunai.

Tsunade then appears out of nowhere and applies her powers along with Sakura's. It's useless, what they're doing. The blade of the kunai stays in my heart; to rust… to rot… to kill me. I can already feel it rusting from contact with my blood.

My breath is coming out in quick gasps now. I can't keep my emotions in anymore, the tears that I've been holding back since seeing the expressions on my teams' faces rush out like a waterfall. I haven't cried since the death of my father, since the deaths of my old team while I was still thirteen; I haven't cried for nearly thirteen years. I just wanted a quick death, one that remained unknown to others who cared about me, not one that involved my Genin team looking down at my lifeless body.

The pain is going away now, I can feel myself slipping away, and I close my eyes in relief. I wake up a while later to find myself to be truly in hell. Naruto, I see, has a pained look on his face; Sasuke is trying to hold in his emotions, like a true shinobi; and Sakura is crying her eyes out on my chest. Tsunade, on the other hand, has a blank look on her face because she failed yet again to save the life of a shinobi.

They begin to prepare a funeral for me, and I expect it to be short and quick. Once again, the fates are cruel to me. I am being forced to bear the sight of watching my closest shinobi friends walk up to my coffin and place a single white rose on it. When it is Gai Maito's turn, he slowly strides up and does the same as everyone else. I hear him say that we had had a great rivalry and that he does not want it to end; I see tears in his eyes as he says this. Just as it's about over, three small figures walk together to the coffin. They each place their own rose and on top of the others and say their words of goodbye. Naruto says that I was a great sensei; Sasuke says the same and thanks me for teaching him the Chidori, otherwise Itachi would have killed him; Sakura takes a while, but finally says that everyone will miss me. Yeah right, like they actually will.

I look down at my body; they changed me from my bloody uniform into white clothing along with my Jounin vest. Why white? I feel that something is next to me, so I turn and encounter my father. He looks disappointed, and he tells me that I have disgraced the Hatake name even more than he did by letting myself die. I feel my anger beginning to rise, but I hold it in. He goes on and says that my students will now become like me, cold-hearted murderers with no regrets, and I still try to control my rage. My father finally strikes a nerve when he tells me that thanks to my teachings, they will surpass me. I turn and shout back in his face that I didn't teach them a damn thing. Father then says that that is why they will die, that they are too inexperienced to live the full life of a shinobi, and that I am the cause of their future deaths.

I am shaking, not out of anger, but out of fear. In the 29, no 30, years of my life, I have finally smelled fear. I fear death, the deaths of my students who have so much yet to learn. I don't want them to die so young! I am panicking now. I don't want to embrace death anymore, I don't want to be dead anymore! I want to live!

I suddenly open my eyes and stare right into a ceiling, a white ceiling; I'm in the hospital. I hear gasping and turn my head to the left, very surprised to see everyone looking at me. Gai has tears of joy running down his face like a massive waterfall (and I feel stupid for putting up with him all these years); Tsunade looks positively happy (and there is a sake bottle in her hand); Asuma and Kurenai are hugging each other in happiness while looking at me; but the biggest surprise is when three certain Genin come up to the front of the group.

They take one look at me and practically throw themselves on top of me. They all seem so happy; happy that I am alive and…wait…I'm alive?? I question the others and Tsunade replies that they managed to get me to the hospital just as soon as I stopped breathing. So I never really died? Despite what they say about me passing out, I still think that I had a brief experience with death.

I turn my gaze down to my three students, who are still wrapping their arms tightly around my waist and looking as happy as ever, including Sasuke. I must have really been a crappy sensei to them if they are still able to show their emotions. I promise that I will try harder to train them, to make them into Konoha's best shinobi. Everybody then leaves to let me rest. I toss myself back onto the bed and stare up at the ceiling.

I then remember that today is White Day, the day after New Years. I feel anger bubbling in the pit of my stomach. That white ceiling, along with the white sheets, the white hospital outfit, the white light, the non-existent white clothing I was put into when I "died"…I hate white.

It's amazing what a single kunai can do to you and how much it can change your thoughts about death. You should try it sometime...if you're suicidal. Don't kill me! I don't hold a grudge against you people! Okay, maybe I do...