Title: What The...?

Author: MotatoPotato

Spoilers: Unspoiled

Season: 9-10

Warnings: SJ Ship. Companion to 'An Officer and an Idiot'. Some language.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Sadly. I only twist what is there.

Notes: This is the fourth in a series of unrelated vignettes. This is the first of these to have multiple chapters (as soon as they get edited). 'Pants' for the British readers, should be taken to mean trousers, not underwear. Please tell me what you think...it's how I improve. Enjoy!

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Jack stepped outside the sliding doors of the airport intending to grab a cab home. He stifled a yawn, feeling as if he would fall asleep standing any second. DC was kicking his ass. Before he reached the taxi stand he heard a booming "O'Neill". Jack grinned and turned to the left to see Teal'c leaning against a car.

"T! Great to see ya!"

Teal'c Inclined his head as he slid behind the driver's seat. "Welcome back to colorado, O'Neill. ColonelCarter is still on base. She wishes me to reassure you of her timely return tonight."

Jack covered another yawn. "Thanks." Both then lapsed into a comfortable silence until Teal'c pulled up in front of Jack's place. "Want to come in T?" He asked, leaning back in the open door.

All of a sudden Jack was on his guard. "There is not enough Jello on your planet, O'Neill." Jack jumped back in surprise as he sped off down the street, tires squealing.

"What the...?" Jack muttered, trying to figure out what had just happened. Maybe Sam would know. He trudged in the house and stretched out on the couch with a beer to watch some TV.

Some time later he awoke feeling the hair on the back of his neck rise. He squinted slightly and started to sit up before he saw the little pair of blue eyes. They were peeping over the edge of the couch at him, their faces just inches apart. Jack blinked in surprise. "Hey Fella." The little boy just looked at him with wide eyes. He must have liked what he saw because he lifted his arms asking to be held. "Where are your parents?" He started to swing the boy up as he got to his feet and looked the kid over. "Where are your pants?"

"Cam! Daniel! Get back here!" Sam yelled. Jack looked down in confusion. //Cam? Daniel? What the...?// He heard Sam sigh loudly in frustration. "Pants are not optional, Cam!" His lips twitched in amusement. The boy giggled and hid his face. Jack patted him on the back and finally found Sam looking under the bed.

"Hey."

She looked up, relief evident in her eyes. "Jack! Help me find Daniel!"

He looked at her quizzically. "Nice to see you too."

Sam ran a hand through her messy hair and broke it down for him. "You're holding Cam Mitchell. And Daniel is still hiding." They started moving through the house while she explained."P4M-983. Local practical joke powder used on unfamiliar visitors. Daniel and Cam don't seem to know anything about themelves.The inhabitants swear up and down that it wears of in 48 hours. Makes the recipient about three. But until it wears off, I've been ordered to watch Cam and Daniel. I'm sorry Jack. We should still get a couple days to ourselves, though."

Jack smiled when he realized she wasn't concerned that he might not back her up. Like it hadn't even occurred to her. Sam suddenly lunged under the dining room table and another little boy scrambled away, clearly terrified, wrapping himself around Jack's leg. Sam couldn't get near Daniel without him springing tears so she reached for Cam, who buried his face in Jack's shirt and held on tightly. She flashed him a smile. "Looks like you've got a couple new fans."

Jack rolled his eyes and leaned in to her to snag a quick kiss. "Why isn't Cam wearing pants?"

She snorted loudly drawing giggles from both boys. "He's like a damn eel! He wiggles out of them faster than I can put them back on." Jack kneeled down long enough to scoop Daniel off the floor to settle him on his other shoulder. Sam spoke up. "Guys, this is Jack. He's going to help watch you."

Daniel looked up earnestly. "Hi, 'Ack!" Cam just kicked Jack in the side with both feet and giggled away like a madman.

//What the...crazy little bugger.//

A few hours (and a few pairs of pants) later the boys sat leaning on both sides of Jack all struggling to keep their eyes open while Sam read to them from Jack's beat up copy of 'The Wizard of Oz'. She caught Jack's eye which gazed back sleepily. "Where are they sleeping?"

He shrugged. "Don't think there's much of a choice. They're too young to sleep in a normal bed alone. They can just crash in between us." They both looked a little sad for a minute.

"48 hours you say?" Sam smiled. "Actually at this point it's more like 36."

Jack let a smirk grace his features. "Score."

Sam got up and gently smacked the back of his head. "Cute." She lifted Daniel and made their way back to the bedroom.

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TBC