Well, this is a little silly idea for a story I came up with dealing mainly with Vegeta and Goku and…a cooking show! Takes place one year after the Kid Buu saga.

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or Iron Chef America, so don't sue me!

Goku's Great Idea

It was a beautiful spring morning, normal in almost all respects. The sun was shining brightly, warming the earth below it. Male birds were singing loudly, creating a cacophony of noise used to attract members of the fairer sex. Bees were already buzzing loudly around the blooming tulips, daffodils, crocuses and cherry blossoms. All in all, the Earth was full of color and warmth, texture and sound and it was enough to make anyone happy to be alive on a day like today.

Yes, for most casual observers, the day was perfect. But if you would happen to move into a certain city were a certain corporation is located, the day most certainly would not seem normal. If fact, it would seem as far from normal as possible. Instead of smelling flowers and hearing birdsong, you would probably smell the aroma of blood and sweat and hear the sounds of bodies ramming into each other at impossibly high speeds. And that is where our story begins….

It looked to be a promising day as Bulma sat up tiredly in bed, letting out a huge yawn as she hurriedly turned the alarm off that had awoken her from her slumber. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she groaned and moved her body away from the now cold indent that had previously held the sleeping form of her mate. She didn't want to get up but she knew if she didn't, she'd be drug out of bed either by her hungry husband or her equally hungry son. Her whole body ached. Vegeta had been in one of his moods last night and she didn't think she could have gotten more than four hours of sleep. He had to have had even less seeing as his side of the bed was already cold. Shaking her head in irritation at how overly dedicated he was to training and getting up before any normal person would make their way out of a nice, warm bed, Bulma stood up and grabbed her bathrobe, making her way downstairs to find out what her family was up to this early in the morning

Meanwhile, Vegeta was outside taking advantage of the weather. It was finally starting to get warm and he was sick of being cooped up inside all of the time because Bulma was afraid he would catch pneumonia or something stupid like that. He grunted to himself thinking that she worried way too much where it concerned him, but part of him secretly liked being coddled, although he would never admit to that in a million years. Normally, he spent his mornings training in the gravity room but the promising day had prompted him to forgo his normal routine. It also had the added benefit of inducing his slugabed son to train with him without his usual excessive amount of complaining, all of which irritated Vegeta to no end. He was seriously beginning to think that his son was going to turn into a weakling pussy and that was completely unacceptable for a Royal Saiyan Prince, even if he was half human and lived on a weak and pathetic planet.

Growling, he lunged at his son who was currently watching a bird fly past which had caught his attention. Hitting his son square in the chest with a flying kick, Trunks went careening through the air, almost hitting the building behind him before he caught a hold of himself. Wincing in pain, he glared at his father with eyes that reminded Vegeta of Bulma when she was excessively pissed off.

"Gee Dad, what'd you do that for? That hurt!" He said petulantly. Vegeta visibly grimaced at his son's tone of voice, once again showing him how his mate's behavior was influencing how their son was growing up.

Vegeta crossed his arms, levitating close to where his son was currently pouting. "Good! Now maybe you'll learn to keep your guard up against potential enemies. It's unwise to take your eyes off of a battle when it's in progress, something you should already know!" Vegeta growled angrily, showing no sign that he felt bad in any way for hitting his only son. Though realistically, he did feel a smidgen of guilt knowing that the boy was probably going to have a bruise. He also shuddered at the thought of Bulma screeching at him for injuring her "poor baby." He did not want to have to deal with Bulma's cranky attitude first thing in the morning.

"Yeah, but Dad, we aren't fighting for real! Come on, go easy on me. Goten's dad doesn't kick him in the chest!" Trunks liked hanging out at the Son's household and Goku was way more fun to fight with than his stodgy old sourpuss father was.

"With that kind of attitude, it's no wonder that you and your little friend got devoured by Buu." Vegeta shouted loudly at his annoying child. He was sick of always being compared to that baka, especially when it came out of his own child's mouth. "I don't want to hear another word about Kakarot and his stupid brat. You are training with me and when I'm through with you, you'll know what it's like to be a real warrior. Now shut your mouth, stop acting like a spoiled baby and get ready!" By now, Vegeta was thoroughly irritated with his child. It hadn't been that long ago that Trunks had practically worshipped the ground he walked on and wanted to spend quality time training. But lately, he had become more interested in playing video games and hanging out with Vegeta's former rival and his obnoxious family. He didn't want to think that perhaps his irritation was from the current lack of attention his son was giving him and that it damaged his feelings. On top of that, he was bored. Training his son, no matter how childishly he behaved, was exhilarating. And it helped make up for the fact that Vegeta's own father had had very little to do with him. For some reason, he didn't want Trunks to grow up the same way.

Growling at himself for being to sentimental, Vegeta powered up and attacked Trunks again. This time, Trunks was ready for him. 'Finally,' Vegeta thought as he kicked out at Trunks, 'the brat is paying attention.' Losing himself into the moment of the fight, Vegeta got so caught up, he didn't notice when his son suddenly turned away and started waving at someone. Before he could stop himself, Vegeta kneed him in the back and sent him flying again towards Capsule Corp. But this time, Trunks didn't put the brakes on. Vegeta watched in horror as his purple haired brat went crashing into the second floor, creating a gaping hole next to where his and Bulma's room was located. Hearing the crash, Vegeta visibly winced both when he saw the damage and when he saw a certain blue haired female come running outside.

"Oh my god! Trunks!" Bulma shrieked at the top of her lungs. She was about to run back into the house to get to her baby when she saw the little boy stand up shakily from where he was laying.

"I'm okay Mom!" Trunks yelled as he jumped through the hole and landed on the ground. Before he could move away, a very hysterical Bulma ran over and enveloped him in a huge bear hug, making sure to kiss every inch of his precious little face. Vegeta wanted to gag at the public display of affection and he could tell by the way his son was squirming around, he felt the same way.

"Ewww Mom, let me go! I'm fine!" Trunks yelled, wheeling his arms and shaking his body to get away from his psycho mother.

Landing behind Bulma, but making sure to keep at least five feet of space between them, Vegeta spoke up.

"Woman, if he can stand and fly, there hasn't been any serious damage done, so lay off of him! You're going to turn him into a sentimental pile of mush!" Vegeta knew as soon as the words were out of his mouth that it was probably the wrong thing to say to his mate.

Standing up and turning around, Bulma marched over to her husband. Putting her finger in the middle of his chest, she moved in for the attack. Vegeta swallowed visibly when he saw the look in her eyes. 'Why do I have to put myself in these situations? It's too early to listen to her rant and scream." He groaned inwardly, knowing that Bulma was about to boil over.

"I can't believe you Vegeta! You just kicked him into a wall! He's got cuts on his head and blood all over himself. I can't send him to school like that again! It was bad enough the last time you beat him up. I don't want social services coming over here because my dickhead husband won't conform to earth society were it's considered barbaric and abusive to cause bodily injury to harmless children!" Bulma screamed into his face.

Sweating, Vegeta backed up a bit. "Look, Bulma, Trunks isn't harmless! He can transform into a Super Saiyan for Dende's sake! He's fine. A few cuts and bruises, that's all. You can tell the school he fell out of a tree or something." Vegeta grimaced when he saw Bulma's expression change from insane and irrational rage to calculated anger.

"Oh, no you don't mister! I am not calling the school to tell them why our son, yet again, is covered in bruises! I'm tired of everyone thinking I'm a terrible mother. You can do it yourself, since you're the one who caused this whole thing to happen!"

"Forget it! I'm not calling the school. It's not in my job description!" Vegeta yelled back at Bulma. There was absolutely no way in hell he would ever lower himself to that level.

"Fine. If I have to call the school, you can sleep outside for the rest of the year!" Bulma challenged Vegeta.

"What? You can't be serious. You're just bluffing." Vegeta stated nervously, pulling on the collar of his training jersey. He watched as Bulma took on a smirk very reminiscent of his own. Vegeta knew that look and it meant he was in big trouble.

Bulma looked on at Vegeta in triumph. She knew she had won this round, even if she had to play dirty. There just was no way that she was going to have to explain why Trunks looked as though he had been run over by a truck to the school officials for the millionth time that year. She knew they didn't believe the excuses she came up with and it was only a matter of time before her family would be in serious trouble. On top of that, the publicity for Capsule Corp. would be horrendous. Crossing her arms and tapping her foot, she waited for the inevitable outcome.

Vegeta looked sheepishly at his bitchy mate. Telling himself that it was only because he didn't want to deal with her, he muttered out his response.

Bulma had heard Vegeta loud and clear but she couldn't help rubbing in the fact that she had won an argument against the temperamental Saiyan. Cupping her ear, she leaned forward towards where Vegeta was standing. "I couldn't hear you. Could you repeat that Vegeta?"

"I said I'll do it. But don't expect this to happen again, Woman! This is a one time occurrence!" Vegeta growled out testily. Living on this stupid planet must have completely eroded his sense of warrior pride for him to back down like that. Ugh, it was completely disgusting! Growling under his breath while looking at his smug mate, Vegeta turned around to where Trunks had been only to see that the boy wasn't alone.

"Kakarot, you imbecile! How long have you been hanging around?" Vegeta yelled, the veins bulging out on his forehead. It was one thing for him to cave into Bulma when they were alone. It didn't damage his pride as much. But to have his former enemy possibly hear that whole damned conversation was too much for him to handle.

"Not too long Vegeta! I came right when you nailed Trunks with your knee." Turning to Bulma, who was also glaring at him, Goku raised his hands in apology. "Hey Bulma, it's my fault Trunks made a hole in your house. I shouldn't have waved at him when I landed." Then Goku turned in the direction of where Trunks was standing, twiddling his thumbs waiting for his dumb parents to stop yelling at each other in public. They were so totally embarrassing sometimes! Looking at Trunks somewhat sternly, he decided to give the boy a small pointer. "I shouldn't have waved at you, but Trunks, you have to pay attention to the person you're fighting with otherwise you could end up dead meat. Got that?" Goku asked. Trunks shook his head in the affirmative. Why did everyone have to be on his case? It just wasn't fair!

"Look Kakarot, I don't need you to tell my son what he's doing wrong. He already knows, since he already felt my wrath this morning when he was daydreaming instead of watching my movements. Isn't that right, Trunks?" Vegeta said with a stern expression plastered across his visage.

"Yes Father." Trunks replied moodily. Then suddenly his appearance of sulleness changed into one of hope. Looking at his parents with sad puppy dog eyes, Trunks tried to look as pathetic as possible before he continued on with the conversation. "Hey, cause I'm hurt and all, can I stay home from school?" he asked eagerly. School sucked big time and on top of that, he hadn't finished his science project because he had stayed up playing video games in his room all night. The project just so happened to be due today. His mother was going to have a screamfest when she found out. But if he was sick, he could finish it today and still get credit. 'Sometimes I amaze myself with my intellect,' Trunks thought pompously to himself.

Unfortunately for Trunks, both of his parents seemed to have the opposite idea.

"No!" They both shouted in unison.

"Aww, come on! Dad didn't go to school when he was my age, so why do I have to go?"

"I didn't go to school because I was working a full time job! Even if I think Earthling schools are stupid, you need to have something put in that brain of yours if you ever want to consider being a Saiyan Prince. Besides that, your mother thinks it's a good idea." Even though secretly, Vegeta couldn't stand sending Trunks to school. The teachers were imbeciles and they were all terrified of him. So terrified in fact that they never reprimanded his son for misbehavior, which only made Trunks that much more unbearable to live with at home. But he wasn't going to argue with Bulma about it because chances were, if Trunks were pulled out of school, that would mean Vegeta would be the one teaching him. Not a pleasant idea at all in his opinion.

"Well, I'm glad we're in agreement, Vegeta." Bulma said. She then looked at her son and motioned him to follow her. "Come on little prince, you've got to get cleaned up for school. You look horrible and you probably smell worse than a rotting corpse since you seem to have inherited your father's propensity for bad BO!" She then turned around and looked at Vegeta sternly. "And you had better call the school Vegeta, or you know what will happen. And, just to make sure you do it, you can't eat until I have proof." With that, she turned around and marched smartly back into the house, Trunks trailing behind her with a look of misery on his face.

Vegeta stared at the receding form of his mate. He was fuming. How dare she threaten not to feed him or kick him out of his bed? Who did she think she was? He was about to run after her and pull her back out to tell her exactly what he thought of her attitude when he remembered that Kakarot was still standing on his property. Turning around, he glared at Goku, hoping he would get the hint and get the hell away from Capsule Corp. However, just like usual, Goku didn't seem to understand the look Vegeta was giving him.

"Hey Vegeta, are you okay? Man oh man, I thought Chi-Chi was bad. But Bulma? She terrifies me!" Goku said as he scratched his head.

"And your point is?" Vegeta asked snidely. "Look Kakarot, I don't have time to waste, so why don't you tell me why the hell you're here this morning and then you can leave!"

"Gee, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed!" Goku said teasingly to the tense Saiyan Prince. It was the completely wrong thing to say. Before he knew it, Vegeta attacked him, punching his squarely in the face, causing him to fall over and hold his nose as it bled all down his orange fighting gi and onto the grass.

"Man Vegeta, why'd you do that?" Goku said as he tried to staunch the flow of blood coming from his nose.

"Because I felt like it. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to my training. So hurry up and explain why your nefarious ass is sitting on my property and then scram before I put a permanent hole through your ugly head!" Just to make his point, Vegeta raised the palm of his hand so it was level with Goku's head and started to concentrate his ki energy around his outstretched arm.

Seeing that Vegeta wasn't in the mood to be kidding around, Goku swallowed nervously and then gagged when he tasted the bitter flavor of his blood sliding down his throat.

"Well, I'm waiting Kakarot!" Vegeta spoke impatiently. The sooner he got rid of Kakarot, the sooner he could make that damn phone call to Trunks's school and the sooner he could eat whatever meal Bulma and her mother put together for breakfast.

"Ofay alfready." Goku mumbled, having difficulty talking with his nose currently plugged to stop the blood flow. "I fame ofer to fee if youf wanted to spar. Am becaufe I hafe this really great idea!"

"Well, I suppose I could spar with you. But a great idea coming from you? What a joke!" Vegeta shot back at Goku, whose nose had finally stopped bleeding, although it looked like it was swelling up in size. Vegeta held back a laugh when he saw how ugly his nose looked almost assured by its appearance that he had broken it.

"No seriously Vegeta, you'll love it!"

"I think love is too strong of word wherever you're concerned, moron." Seeing that Goku looked like he was about to piss his pants in excitement, Vegeta crossed his arms and let out a sigh, waiting for the idiot to continue on with his train of thought.

"Okay, so here's my great idea. I think it'll be loads of fun." Vegeta grimaced at the sound of the dreaded "f" word. He was a Saiyan and Saiyans were not supposed to have fun unless it was related to fighting, and he had a feeling that whatever Goku's idea entailed, there was no fighting involved. "There's this really great television show on my favorite TV station. And they are going to be holding trials for regular people to be able to compete in the show! Isn't that great, Vegeta?" Goku said happily.

"So what? I could care less about your favorite TV show, baka. Besides which, reality TV is the lamest thing since the Ginyu Force."

"No way Vegeta. It's not a reality show. You'll think it's great, you'll see!"

"Well, how can I think it's great if you won't even explain what it's about? You're wasting my time." Clenching his teeth in exasperation, Vegeta started to walk back towards the house so he could call Trunks's school and get it over with. But Goku wasn't through with him yet. He ran in front of Vegeta's retreating figure and bodily blocked him from entering the house.

"Out of my way Kakarot, unless you really want to experience pain!" Vegeta growled at the idiot standing before him.

"No, just wait Vegeta. I wasn't done explaining!"

"Well, then hurry up! Honestly, a snail could give out information faster than you and they can't talk!"

Seeing the scary grimace across Vegeta's face, Goku decided he'd better hurry up before his ass was barbecued.

"Alright. Well basically, the show's a cooking contest between two chefs: a chef from a well known restaurant and a master chef from the show. Each chef gets an hour to make a four-course meal and a dessert. The only catch is that they have to use a secret ingredient, which they have no prior knowledge of, in each of their dishes. When the time is up, a panel of food experts judges their food. You usually hope that the visiting chef beats the other one. It's really exciting to watch!"

"And you want me to audition to try out for a cooking show? You've got to be out of your mind Kakarot! Cooking is for women and sissies. Besides, I know for a fact that you can't cook a lick and I can't either, so what's the point? I will not make a fool of myself on television!" Vegeta growled as he tried to push his way past Goku.

"Come on Vegeta! So what if we can't cook? We can learn. And I know how competitive you are. I think once you watch the show, you'll know what I mean! It isn't like other boring shows. It's fast paced and crazy! So please? Just watch an episode with me. It should be on in a couple of minutes."

Vegeta narrowed his eyes at Goku's last comment. "Are you telling me you came all this way at this time in the morning so I could watch a cooking show with you? Now I really know you're bananas!" He maneuvered around Goku and continued on his way, only to be stopped yet again when Goku put his arms and legs in front of the door, making it impossible for Vegeta to enter that way.

"Please Vegeta? It won't be a waste of your time, I promise!" Goku pleaded. He had his heart set on trying out and he thought the Vegeta would be a great partner. They were both really competitive and it would be fun to work together again with him.

"Promise all you want, but I refuse. I've done plenty of silly and ridiculous things with you and each time I do, it makes me want to vomit. The answer is no!"

"Well, just watch the show with me. If you still think it's a dumb idea, then I'll leave you alone! What do you have to lose?" Goku asked desperately.

Vegeta weighed in his options. If he refused, he would have to deal with a sappy rejected looking Kakarot that would pout and whine the whole time they sparred together. If he did watch the show, it would give him an extra hour to think about what he was going to say to Trunk's teacher about his son's current condition, plus he wouldn't have to deal with Goku being a cry baby because he had fulfilled part of his original requirements. Sighing, he realized just how soft living on Earth was making him. He was considering watching the blasted television to satisfy Kakarot, for Dende's sake! Finally making his decision, he looked at Goku.

"Fine, I'll watch the blasted show with you. But that's it! If I think it's retarded you can forget about getting me to go and compete to get on the dumb thing."

"Great!" Goku said excitedly. "You'll love it, I promise you!"

"Well, what are we waiting for? Move your fat ass out of my door so we can get this over with!" With that, the two Saiyans entered Capsule Corp. and made their way to the waiting television to watch a rousing re-run episode of Iron Chef America.

About an hour later…

Vegeta leaned back on the couch he was sitting on, putting his hands behind his head. He looked over at Goku, who was leaning towards the TV in excitement. Even though he didn't want to admit it, Goku had been right about the show. At first, Vegeta had thought it was extremely lame. There was too much drama in the beginning for him to take it seriously. But then it had changed. The two chefs competed fiercely against each other, each taking into account their strengths and weaknesses while they prepared their food. And the whole thing about using a secret ingredient in each dish was ingenious! He hadn't realized how difficult it could be to cook a meal centered on one thing. But they somehow managed to do it in an hour. It was nothing short of amazing! Vegeta, being the highly competitive person that he was, could feel his resolve weakening. It would be great to show up the pathetic humans on the show with his Super Saiyan cooking abilities. But unfortunately, the comment he had made to Kakarot earlier about neither one of them being able to cook was true. Deciding to ask a question without seeming interested in Kakarot's proposition, Vegeta looked over at him with a bored expression on his face.

"So Kakarot, when are these stupid auditions for this Iron Chef show anyway?"

"They're in a month Vegeta! Are you interested?" Goku asked, seeing the twinkle of speculation in Vegeta's eye.

"Perhaps. It all depends on what you're willing to do for me." Vegeta said, suddenly concocting a plan that would get him off the hook about calling the school while making it seem like his whole choice was dependent on Kakarot's response to his idea.

Goku looked back Vegeta apprehensively. Although Vegeta had mellowed out considerably since he had first come to Earth, he was by no means averse to using less then humane methods to get what he wanted. "What do you have in mind?"

"For starters, you can call up Trunks's school and explain to them why he's all bruised up."

"I can't do that Vegeta! Bulma said you had to!"

"So? What she doesn't know won't kill her. Besides, the school won't even know it's not me, since I never make contact with them anyway. As for the rest, I'll think up something good. So, if you really want to do this, and I still think it's flipping lame by the way, you have to call Trunks's school. Otherwise, I refuse."

Goku sat and thought about it. He didn't think it was right to impersonate Vegeta and he didn't want to be on Bulma's bad side if she found out. But he really, really wanted to compete on Iron Chef America with Vegeta as his partner. Making a decision, he turned towards his smirking counterpart and extended his hand.

"Fine Vegeta, you have a deal!"

Taking Kakarot's hand in his own, Vegeta shook on the deal and sighed with relief that he wouldn't have to call the school. He snapped out of his reverie when he heard a startled gasp form the vicinity of the door.

"Vegeta! What on earth are you and Goku doing in here?" Bulma asked. They were sitting on the couch together holding hands! Something was up between the two of them, and she did not want to know what they were doing.

Seeing Bulma, Vegeta hurriedly let go of Goku's hand, realizing what it must look like to his mate. Blushing, he looked over at where Bulma was standing before he opened his mouth.

"We weren't doing anything, Woman!"

"Whatever. I don't want to know. Anyway, have you called the school yet? You're breakfast is getting cold. If you don't hurry up, Trunks will eat it and then you'll just have to go hungry until lunch time!"

"Fine Woman! I'm on my way to call his stupid school now!" Vegeta yelled at Bulma. He was completely humiliated about being caught holding hands with Kakarot. It was almost unbearable.

Bulma took his tone of voice as a personal attack and reacted in kind. "Jeez, you don't have to be such a crabby patty Vegeta!" She said huffily. With that, she walked out of the room in a huff muttering about how stupid men were most of the time.

"Stupid Woman!" Turning to Kakarot, he motioned for him to get his butt moving. "Hurry up! You have to call the school now or you can forget about this stupid cooking show."

Goku stood up and saluted Vegeta. "Aye Aye, Captain! Just show me where the phone is, and I'll make your phone call."

Vegeta rolled his eyes and motioned at the other end of the room near the window with his head. "It's right over their, idiot! The numbers already programmed in, so all you have to do his hit number one after you pick up the receiver. Do you think you can handle that?" Vegeta asked, beginning to wonder if having Goku impersonate him was such a great idea.

"Sure thing Vegeta." Goku walked over to the phone and followed the instructions.

When the school answered the phone, Goku began to speak in a low gravely voice trying to sound as close to Vegeta as possible. What it really sounded like was nothing at all like Vegeta's voice. It made him want to wince at how terrible Goku was at impersonations.

"Yes, this is Vegeta…" Goku had to think if Vegeta went by a last name before he remembered Bulma's surname. Vegeta slapped the front of his forehead in exasperation. Honestly, the guy was as stupid as they come and that wasn't saying much! "Vegeta Briefs speaking. I'm the father of Trunks Briefs. Yes…Yes. Uh huh. Well, um…I'm calling in regards of my son. Uh, he was playing this morning and he had a small accident. No, no, nothing serious. What was he doing?" At that, Goku looked over to Vegeta for help, not knowing what to say.

"Kakarot," Vegeta hissed. "Make something up, idiot!" Seeing that the younger Saiyan was panicking, Vegeta blurted out the first thing that came out of his mouth. "Tell them he fell off of his bicycle and do it quick before they start to think something is up!"

Taking the hint, Goku replied back into the phone. "He fell off of his bike. Yes, he'll be fine. He just has some bruises and cuts, but we took care of that here." Goku paused on the phone, waiting for the school secretary to finish talking before he continued. "Yes, well that's about it. He'll be in school today. All right. Thanks for your help. Goodbye." With that, Goku hung up the phone and wiped some of the sweat that was coming down his face. That had been intimidating. Now he knew why Vegeta hadn't wanted to talk to the school. It was almost as bad as being stuck with a needle, and Goku hated needles with a passion.

"Well, that was too close Kakarot! And what kind of voice were you using? You did not sound like me in the slightest!" Vegeta said in a testy tone of voice.

"That was the best I could do Vegeta. But they bought the story about the bike, so you're off the hook."

"Alright. Well, since you did that little job for me, I suppose I'll help you out with that stupid show. But we're going to do things my way, got that?"

"Sure thing Vegeta! This'll be great, just you wait and see!"

Vegeta hoped so because otherwise, his life was going to suck royally for the next month.

Well, it's done. Sorry if it's a little long. Do you like this idea? Tell me what you think if you read it. Please R&R