My Heart Keeps Holding On

Rating: T

Description: Even when things seemed to be over, she never gave up on him. Because he promised. UxY

Disclaimer: no, I don't own Code Lyoko. I wish. (Then again, if I got Code Lyoko, everyone would get mad cuz it would suddenly be all angsty haha). I do own Suki-chan, though. Claim to fame. :D

Author's note: Yeah. As per my tradition: angsty. Whoo hoo. :D Actually, it's pretty darn depressing, gomen. And PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE review when you're done!

((jAdE))

Bold and italics: flashback

Bold: thoughts in the flash back

…………………………………………

"Uncle Odd!"

The four-year-old cried out joyfully as she flung open the front door, her little dark brown eyes sparkling happily. She immediately ran forward and clutched at his hand, grasping it like a small monkey would a treat or treasure.

"Hey, there, Suki-chan!"

"Yumi."

His voice was so frail, so weak. It gave her chills, and she could feel tears swell in the back of her eyes. Because she knew what he was going to say.

The tall blonde man reached down and picked the little girl up with a grin. He swung her around for a few minutes, laughing at her thrilled squeals of excitement. He brought her small cheek to his and cuddled her close, rejoicing that soon he would have a child of his own. He could only hope that he or she would have as cheerful a nature as the little girl.

"Mama in the kitchen!" she said, pointing in the right direction. Even if he hadn't known where the kitchen was, it would not have taken long to find it, for the tiny apartment was small and cramped, barely fit for the two who lived in it, let alone for what was expected.

"Is she eating again?" the man asked, an amused smile rising on his face. She nodded, her brown chin-length hair bobbing up and down against her small round face. She startled many people when she walked down the street. They saw a Caucasian complexity and chocolate brown hair, and then she would look up and astound them with her Asian eyes, the birthmark of her mother's heritage.

She'd been expecting this call for awhile now, ever since he had left just a week ago. She'd felt dread every time the phone rang, sighing with silent relief when it wasn't him on the other line. But here it was. She was afraid, and her heart was racing uncontrollably.

"Please," she whispered, the phone creaking underneath her grip. She was holding the phone so tightly, her knuckles were white.

She could almost see him smile. It would be a weary and tired smile, but at the same time able to give anyone who saw it courage. It felt to her that he was smiling against her ear, like he always did after they kissed.

The man walked forward, his long strides taking him down the hall in three steps. Carrying the little girl into the kitchen, he greeted her mother warmly.

"Hey there," he said, smiling at her as he watched her devour a bowl of noodles. What was more shocking than the rate of which she ate was the fact that the whole table was covered with food. The average person would have taken it at face value; the man noted that it was all cheap food, bought for quantity and nutrients, not quality and taste.

The Japanese woman, who could not have been older than her late twenties, looked up. She gave him a tired smile and kept eating from her bowl, her chopsticks fairly flying. Once she was finished, she started on the dumplings and rice.

"How's the baby this morning?" he asked, sitting down to bounce the girl on his knee.

Pausing to wipe her mouth, the woman's hand unconsciously went to the swell of her large belly. She shrugged.

"Just fine since you saw me yesterday," she said, her voice a little testy. She could almost feel the life within her stir.

"Yumi…I'm sorry for the position I'm going to put you in. I know things were never easy even when I was home, now they're going to be so hard for you. But I know you can do it."

Yumi's voice was choked, and she could feel the tenderness of liquid slipping down her face.

"Why? Why do you have to go after X.A.N.A.? Why can't you let Odd or Aelita or Jeremie do it?"

Or me? Why wouldn't you let me come with you?

He chuckled, a warm rumble that made her heart ache. "Now you're being selfish."

The man smiled. "Yes, you're still eating away, ever concerned about the baby's health. Sam's going through the same thing, eating like there's no tomorrow. You're due sooner, though, aren't you? A week or two?"

The mother grimaced and nodded, placing a dumpling in her mouth. Some soy sauce was left on the corner of her mouth, but neither of them did or said anything. They were silent for a few uncomfortable moments, and then he spoke.

"Yumi…you can't afford to go on like this much longer."

The man's voice dropped its cheerfulness, the façade peeling back to reveal the layer of genuine worry and concern for his friend.

"Suki-chan."

The woman's voice was sharp, but the edge in her voice was not directed at her daughter. Though she was only four, the little girl knew this. Even so, the woman checked herself. She turned to the girl and put a rather forced smile on her face.

"Please, darling, go into the other room for a little while, okay? Let me and Uncle Odd talk about grown-up things for a while."

The girl nodded mutely and slid off the man's knee, heading silently into the living room. It was a courtesy more than anything. They all knew that the walls in the apartment were paper-thin.

"You know as well as I do he must be stopped, as soon as possible. Yumi, it's not the end of the world."

Her voice rose shrilly. "Yes it is! It's the end of my world if X.A.N.A. kills you."

"He won't."

She wanted so badly to believe him. She wanted so badly to be strong for him, but she was weeping. The kind of weeping that racks the whole body and the whole soul.

"You're turning her into a grown-up, you know."

The woman wearily picked up the rice again and started eating. She barely listened to him anymore, because she hated the repulsive, vindictive words that he spoke. Yet he insisted on pounding them into her ears day after day.

"Yumi, how much longer can you and Suki be supported on your job? You worked as long as you could, refusing to take maternity leave until it was absolutely necessary. Will you be able to go back to work when you need to? And what about the baby's future?"

She lifted one shoulder and dropped it listlessly.

She was tired, oh so tired. But she had to stay strong, for his sake.

"Listen to me. Let me help you. Let Jeremie and Aelita help you. Heaven knows that they have enough money with their computer tinkering. You need us. Think things through a little more."

Her eyes flashed, and the rice bowl was set down with a clatter. "I don't need your help." Her voice was cold steel, low and silky and venomous from endless conversations similar to the one they were having.

"Do you promise?" she asked. It was a hopeless promise, she thought to herself. His odds of living were small, so small that they were nearly nonexistent.

She longed to be able to throw her arms around him, to press her lips to his, to whisper the things that she had intended to share at later times. But everything they'd worked for was being ripped apart.

"Who else do you think is going to help you, then?" His words were soft, almost pleading. Almost. He willed and prayed and begged silently that she didn't still believe what she had told him for these past long months. But it was in vain; he saw it in her eyes.

The man leaned across the table until he was only a breath away from her.

"Yumi."

His voice was molten, harsh, liquid like blood. It hurt him as much as her, but he had to say it and snap her out of her insanity and selfish pride.

"He's not coming back."

She didn't react, because she didn't hear his words. Instead, she picked up the rice again and started to eat.

"Of course."

"Say it! Say you promise me! Please!" she begged desperately. She needed this promise, for her, for Suki, and for the new life that she had within her. She couldn't bear to tell him now, not when everything seemed so bleak. But she had to, didn't she?

"All right. I promise you, Yumi. I'll be back. Everything will be all right."

He was trying to comfort her, to ease her soul-wrenching pain.

"You can't believe it!"

Anguish filled his soul. "Yumi, we searched the area for days. Ulrich sacrificed himself to destroy X.A.N.A. No one could have survived the blast after X.A.N.A. was killed."

She spoke coldly. "He survived it."

He promised me.

"Yumi, he's gone."

"He's coming back."

She was faraway now, eating mechanically and methodically. Her eyes were distant and sad, and she kept eating, even past the lump that was slowly rising in her throat and as tears came to her eyes, blurring her vision.

"I've got to go now, my love. Is there anything else?"

She felt misery fill her heart and shook her head, though he couldn't see her.

"I…I've got a surprise for you, Ulrich. A new…it's…a surprise. But…but you have to come back to see it. That's why you must keep your promise, above all costs."

He was silent a moment, judging. When he spoke again, his voice quavered. And Yumi knew that he knew what she was struggling to tell him.

"I'll say it as many times as you want. I'll be back, Yumi. I'll be back."

"Yumi…"

No response.

He stood. His visit was over. Once she reached the point of not even pretending to listen anymore, it was time for him to go.

"You know my number when you finally give in and call me."

She nodded distractedly. She couldn't look at him anymore. If he had stared closely, he would've seen the wetness in her eyes. She was lost into memories and the promise she was clinging to.

He walked out of the kitchen and into the living room where the daughter was.

"Goodbye, Suki-chan," the man said, kneeling down next to the little girl. She was clutching a small stuffed Totoro doll, and there were a few suspicious wet stains on the purple toy's head. He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hang in there, sweetheart," he whispered. "You're strong, just like your mother. You'll be all right, I promise."

She looked up at him with those large dark eyes, and he smiled at her reassuringly. She blinked, and then nodded.

"Arigatou, Uncle Odd." He patted her on the head. Yes. She would be all right.

The tears were slowing down, dwindling to occasional drops instead of a river.

"I believe you, Ulrich. I…I love you so much!"

He smiled again. "I know. I love you too, and I won't break my promise. Give my love to Suki, as well."

"I will."

"Goodbye, Yumi. I love you. Never forget that."

I love you, I love you, I love you.

"I won't, Ulrich! I love you too." Her voice was strangled as the tears started again.

No…wait! Ulrich…don't go! Don't go! Don't leave me!

And then the line was dead, and the phone fell to the floor. She fell along with it, and the only sound to be heard was that of her broken, hysterical weeping as she sobbed into the floor.

The man slipped out the front door, locking it with the key that the woman had given him long ago. He stood on the doorstep for a few moments, staring at the closed door with his emotions swirling inside his heart. He lifted his fist as if he was going to strike the door, but at last his fist rested on it gently. I won't give up on you, Yumes. He walked down to his car, where he paused for yet a few more minutes. At last he started it and started driving off.

His wife was waiting for him when he walked in. He smiled sadly and embraced her, nuzzling her close. He placed his hand on her large stomach and was reminded of his dear friend.

"How did it go?" she asked quietly against his chest.

"Same as usual."

They were silent for a few moments, and then she lifted her head.

"Are you-"

"Going back tomorrow." His voice was firm and steady, though he wished that it wasn't so.

His wife nodded. She accepted it, like she did every time.

He would be back the next day, and the next. As long as it took him to help his friend, he would be there. He would honor the wishes of her husband, his best friend.

Somewhere, in the darkest, most distant corner of the world, a grown man cried.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Mama?"

The Japanese woman glanced up. Her daughter gazed up at her with sad eyes as she watched her mother cry over her bowl of food.

"Suki-chan. I'm sorry, I haven't paid much attention to you, have I? Come here, little one." Her arms were opened and waiting.

The little girl obeyed, climbing into her mother's lap. She gave her a hug that only little children can give, the kind that are so pure and genuine that they are able to break even the hardest soul.

"Mama, Daddy is coming back, isn't he?"

It was a statement more than anything else. With all her heart, Suki Celeste Stern believed it.

Yumi Ishiyama Stern smiled through her tears. She took in a quiet, shuddering breath before she answered, "Yes, Suki, love. Daddy is coming back."

He promised.

He's coming back.

And then…everything will be all right.

………………………………………………………

AN: This was inspired by a movie I saw in China (even though it was only the end of it). It was so sad, I cried! The pregnant mother in the movie (who was stuffing her face just like Yumi) did such a wonderful job, I could feel every emotion she portrayed even though it was in a different language (it had subtitles). I wish I knew what the movie's title was! Anyways, I saw a UxY in the making when I saw it, so I saved up the idea until I got back to the US.

Question, should I make this a two shot and have Ulrich return? Or should I let it end right now? Let me know!

Even if it was absolutely horrible, PLEASE review! I'll give you a cookie. :D

((jAdE))