AN: This will probably be a two-part work. Maybe three-chapters if I find the second half getting too long
Title: Working Girls
Author: desolate butterfly
Genre: humour, gen
Pairing: NaruIno
Rating: PG 13
Summary: Ino is on a mission. Naruto screws things up. So it's only fair that Ino make him dress up in her clothes and try to seduce the target, right?
Ino crossed her legs again and leaned over her drink, wetting the rim of the glass with her tongue before taking a sip. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the target watching with interest, adjusting the stretch of his pants across his groin.
'Gotcha,' she smiled to herself, tilting her head back to swallow so that the line of her neck was clearly visible. Just a little more and she'd catch him, seduce him, slip the poison into his drink and be able to go home and take a shower and get out of the ridiculous shoes she was wearing.
The target stood from his chair and Ino smiled invitingly, flipping her hair back over her shoulder. Her ankle swayed in the direction of the empty barstool beside her. The target approached, no doubt with a smooth opening line prepared. Ino was all prepared to hear it when a hand fell on her shoulder and a pair of slightly fuzzy blue eyes blinked down at her.
"Ino!" Naruto said, loudly. "What are you doing here? Are Shikamaru and Chouji here too?"
'Ah crap.'
Ino pushed Naruto out of the way, but the target was already falling back, his smirk turning into a look of disappointment. Desperately she tried to salvage the situation.
"Naruto," she said, "shouldn't you be out with your girlfriend?"
The target was looking interested again, but this soon passed as Naruto frowned and looked suspiciously at the contents of Ino's drink.
"What are you talking about Ino?" he snorted. "You know I don't have a girlfriend."
And that was that. The target was slinking away through the crowd now, looking for another hot blonde thing to seduce and a whole three hours of planning and preparation was ruined. Not to mention the shopping money Ino had been counting on for completing this mission.
"Fuck!" Ino gripped her glass tightly and knocked the rest of the liquid back with a gulp and a wince. "Bartender," she called, waving the glass in the air. "Another of these, please."
Naruto was now looking at her with concern. He plopped down onto the barstool she'd been reserving for the target and nodded in the direction of her empty shot glass.
"How many of those have you had?"
"Not enough to deal with you," Ino muttered. Then louder, "You just cost me about five new outfits you know. It's a wonder that Forehead-girl puts up with you."
"What are you talking about?" Naruto looked vaguely offended.
"I'm talking about that," Ino hissed, tossing her head in the direction of the target, who was now chatting with another girl across the room. "That was a B-class criminal who's been wanted for robbery, murder, and assault and has a taste for loose blondes. He's also my missions target for tonight and my meal ticket for tomorrow. And you ruined it by coming over here and being so…"
Naruto folded his arms over his chest and Ino was forced to admit that it was a very nice chest. One that she could see more of now that it was covered by just a thin black t-shirt and not that atrocious orange jacket Naruto seemed to carry everywhere.
"So looming and muscle-y," she finished, accepting her second drink from the bartender and knocking it back again.
"Oh." Naruto was looking contrite now, at least. His eyes followed the target curiously. "Can't you just get him when he steps outside the bar?"
Ino ground her teeth to keep from saying something very unladylike.
"I was trying to avoid doing that kind of confrontation, thanks," she said, reaching out to give him a sharp pinch on the leg. "Especially since it's more than likely that he won't be leaving by himself tonight and I'd rather not get civilians involved in a fight."
He yelped and then glared at her, rubbing the spot.
"Geez, I'm sorry. Look, how about if I help you nab him. I won't even ask for a cut of the money."
"Damn right you won't," Ino snapped, but then stopped short, her eyes widening. She grabbed Naruto's arm and dragged him off the barstool. "I've just had an awesome idea!"
They made their way through the crowd of people to the washrooms, where Ino shoved Naruto inside and followed, locking the door behind her. Naruto looked around nervously at the horrifying lack of urinals and the inexplicable presence of a sofa by the sinks.
"Ino," he whispered frantically, "this is the Girl's bathroom. Are you trying to get me killed? Do you know what happened the last time Ero-Sennin got caught in one of these?"
Ino ignored him and started pulling her top over her head. Naruto's eyes widened.
"Strip," she ordered, reaching down to undo the clasps on her skirt, then folding the skimpy fabric over her arm.
When she looked over to discover that Naruto was still standing with all his clothes on and his mouth dropped open she sighed and began tugging at his shirt.
"Come on," she said briskly, "take it off."
He fumbled at the hem of his shirt and pulled it up awkwardly, cheeks flushing a healthy red color.
"Uh…Ino," he ventured, as she reached for his pants, "You know…when I said I'd make up for ruining your night I didn't think you'd…I mean, you don't—"
She unzipped his fly and shoved his pants towards the ground as he yelped.
"Shut up, and get your mind out of the gutter," she said. "We're going to switch clothes and then you're going to go out there and bag my target for me so that I can go home happy."
"Well what was I supposed to think, with you dragging me in here and taking your clothes off!"
Naruto scowled and watched Ino take his discarded t-shirt and put it on. Then he paled as she wiggled around underneath it and emerged with a lacy purple bra in hand.
"There is no way I'm wearing that," he protested.
Ino's eyes slanted dangerously. "Oh you'll wear it," she cooed, "Or I'm going to tell Sakura all about the pictures you have of her that time all her shirts got accidentally shrunk in the wash."
"You wouldn't."
"Try me."
Naruto muttered some unsavory things about her parentage, and then brought his hands together for the jutsu. Soon a buxom pig-tailed blonde was standing before Ino with an annoyed pout. She handed Naruto the bra and he took it sulkily, twisting it around in his hands a couple times before looking up at Ino in confusion.
"How the hell do you put one of these things on anyway?" he asked.
Ino sighed and took the bra back. "Turn around."
A few minutes later, Ino had strapped Naruto into the last of her clothing and was fitting an earpiece into the blonde's ear.
"I'll talk you through the whole thing, okay?" she said. "It shouldn't be too hard. You have bigger boobs than I do and I have no doubt that you can play the part of the dumb blonde perfectly."
"Hey!"
Quickly she pressed a small capsule into Naruto's hands. "Poison. It's tasteless, totally without scent, dissolves instantly. Virtually undetectable. All you have to do is slip it into his drink. Not even you can screw that up."
Naruto was still scowling at her, moving experimentally in the restricting clothes he'd been forced into.
"You know Ino, I'm kind of figuring out why Shikamaru never does favors for you."
"Because he's a lazy bastard?"
"…That too."
"Just get out there," she pushed him towards the door and unlocked it, keeping one hand clenched in the loose fabric of the pants she was wearing. Naruto's trousers flowed around like a baggy parachute and she felt vaguely ridiculous. But at least she wasn't wearing those heels anymore.
Naruto tottered unsteadily on them, looking like he's had a bit more to drink than was advisable. That was probably a good thing.
"This is the stupidest plan ever," he grumbled as he left the washroom to stumble out to the bar again.
Ino slipped an earpiece on and pinned the mic to her shirt, waiting a few minutes before exiting the bathroom herself. Hearing Naruto squawk in indignation as a drunk goosed him on his way to the bar, Ino grinned and settled into a dark corner to watch the show.
"Shut up and bag me a man, ho, or you won't get any ramen tonight," she said into the mic with a laugh.
--
TBC
--