DISCLAIMER:

Hi folks, I've loaded this for a fellow Jater from the Fuslage. She's registered at as JKbeliever but can't upload this right now, so I'm doing it for her. We'll shift it to under her name once she can upload files. Hope you enjoy her story!

Bayouchicklet

He's mine

by jkbeliever

rating: T

disclaimer: Lost is not mine.

summary: my Jate spin on 306 promo and adaptation of an idea that appeared on Jater Couch some time ago – that Kate might have already chosen, we just haven't seen it. the first part of this fic takes place during LTDA, when they camp for the night. the rest is my version of epi 6. just to clear any misunderstandings – I only took into account one spoiler, the one that horrified Jaters the most (i.e. alleged Skex), the rest of promo and sneak peak don't exist for the purpose of this story 

read, enjoy and tell me what you think 

Sleep eluded Kate. It was normal in stressful situations, she was perfectly aware of it, so she wasn't worried. She couldn't sleep before she "dealt" with Wayne situation or before the bank robbery… this wasn't different. She wasn't totally convinced that they would be able to go into the Others camp undetected and just whisk Walt away… something was bound to go wrong, it almost always did. They were going to war, Kate felt it in the pit of her stomach.

Jungle was loud with night life, but it didn't bother her. She spent more than one night far from the beach and she was quite sure she could handle anything nature might throw her way. And she wasn't alone either. She was uncertain of the protection Hurley or Michael could provide to their little group, but Jack and Sawyer were something else. She felt confident with them by her side, the net of complicated relations that bound them together made it quite obvious that they were a team, for better or for worse.

Someone moved not far from her and Kate glanced from under her lashes to see who was suffering from insomnia, just like her.

Jack.

Go figure.

Kate wasn't surprised. He probably felt responsible for all of them and was worried sick that something would happen to put them in even more danger that they were already in. She watched him as he sat by the fire, put some log into it and stared into flames, his brow furrowed. And when her stomach twisted Kate knew that she had to talk to him. There were too many unresolved things between them… too many unspoken words hanging in the air and she found herself unwilling to go into the battle or whatever was awaiting them tomorrow, without clearing the air.

As she slid from under the blanket Jack looked in her direction but didn't say a word. She tiptoed to his side and sat next to him. All others seemed to be deeply asleep and Kate was grateful for it. The conversation she wanted to have with Jack wasn't supposed to be heard by anyone else, but they couldn't afford to leave the fire and their makeshift camp just to have some privacy.

"Couldn't sleep?" Jack whispered, his soft voice causing butterflies in Kate's stomach to erupt in a wild dance. She smiled at him hesitantly.

"Well… it's a big day tomorrow, if Michael correctly assessed the distance. Adrenaline keeps me awake, I think."

"Yeah, I know what you mean… I used to could go on a pure adrenaline for days… But I had some coffee then… God, what I wouldn't do to get some coffee…" he chuckled silently.

"Jack…"

"Hmmm?"

"I… I wanted to talk to you about something… Everything's been so crazy lately… Ever since Michael stumbled upon us, we barely had time to breathe. And I… I need to finish the conversation Michael interrupted" she blushed, hoping that Jack wouldn't notice it. She felt his eyes on her, just like then… when she told him she was sorry she kissed him.

"Ok" he said simply, so quietly that she almost didn't hear him. She laced her fingers together watching her knuckles getting white from the pressure she inserted.

"You said… that you're not sorry" she said as much to remind him where they left off as to reassure herself that he really meant it.

Jack didn't hurry with confirmation, taking ten long seconds, just like then, to compose his answer.

"Because I'm not, Kate. I'm not going to pretend that the situation was perfect or anything… but I can't be sorry for something like that. Even if you are."

Kate's heart jumped. All her hopes, all her dreams were coming true… at the worst time ever.

"Don't worry" he continued. "I won't bother you if you don't want me." he shrugged lightly but his posture stiffened. She shook her head vehemently even as he was saying the words.

"It's not like that, Jack. And I am kind of mad at Michael that he interrupted us before I could clarify that verbally… But I sort of thought that we were out of words then… Is it me or were we leaning…" her blush deepened but she made herself look at him. Now or never.

He watched her carefully. Something in his eyes shifted and he smiled. He extended his hand and brushed it along her warm cheek. She couldn't help but lean into his palm and his eyes flickered with such passion that it took her breath away. They leaned towards each other almost unconsciously, stopping only when there were a few centimeters between their lips.

"Don't run" he murmured.

A ghost of a smile curved Kate's mouth but she didn't say a word. Instead she obliterated the distance between them and crushed her lips to his. Her hands flew to his face relishing in the rough stubble they found there. It was pure heaven. No doubts. No confusion. They both wanted it… desperately.

Jack lifted the pressure a bit, kissing her lightly and caressing her cheek delicately. She seemed to understand him without words and opened her mouth a bit giving him access. Their tongues tangled and she sighed into his mouth. She shifted closer to him, seeking full contact. Jack craved it too, because without breaking the kiss he lifted her and helped her straddle him. Their mouths mated and they got lost in sensation. Fingers skimming over naked skin – hers on his biceps… his on her back, just underneath her shirt… they couldn't get close enough. Kate thought later that in that instant they were like two pieces of puzzle that matched. Like they were made for each other. Maybe they were.

She didn't have any idea how long they were kissing. They tried to stay quiet but a sigh or a moan now and then slipped by their lips. They melted into each other, their lips restlessly brushing against each other. Their breaths got laboured but neither wanted to stop.

Neither knew how long it lasted… it could have been a minute, it could have been an hour. Hurley's loud snore broke them out of this magical haze they created. They gazed in each other's eyes, still clouded with passion and for a minute just sat there, unwilling to break the silence.

"Kate…" he finally whispered reluctantly but she interrupted him immediately shushing him with her finger on his swollen from kisses lips.

"Jack…" she needed to say it, to let him know how much he meant to her. "Tomorrow… who knows what happens tomorrow. But no matter what… If I get… If I… or you…" she couldn't bring herself to voice her worries. She was so afraid that it was the last chance for them, that the next day would bring only misery and pain… he had to know. "Just remember that I… I love you" she whispered her confession quickly, forcing herself to look him in the eye so he would know she was sincere. "I never expected to… thought I was unable… but I do just the same…"

He caressed her cheek, his eyes ablaze with something akin to joy and… could it be?

"I love you too, Kate. No matter what tomorrow brings" and he brought their lips together once again for a sweet kiss that simultaneously broke Kate's heart with it's beauty and simplicity and mended it with pure love.

And when she hugged him hard and melted into his arms, her soul felt complete, for the first time in her life.

Kate pressed her back against the bars of the cage and pulled her knees to her chest. Right this moment hiding from the world seemed like the best option, so she hid her head in the haven of her arms and finally stopped pretending that everything was all right. The mask of indifference dropped and a few tears fell wetting her jeans. She just had to be careful not to let her shoulders shake too much and not to make any crying noises… maybe they'll leave her alone.

She felt dirty.

She felt sick to her stomach.

She was miserable.

She knew why they made her do this. Why they dragged her to Sawyer's cage and explained in a crude words that they wanted to tape them going at it. She knew and it made her hate them from the bottom of her heart.

They wanted to break Jack.

And she was a tool.

She protested. Said she wouldn't do it. Was going to risk them shocking her to avoid such an humiliation.

Of course it didn't work.

They threatened to kill Sawyer. And when she caved – Sawyer was, after all, her friend – they added insult to injury and instructed her to look "ecstatic" and "orgasmic". It was hard… probably the worst deception she had to go through with in her life. Sawyer was a handsome guy and a few times since she had met him she entertained a thought of getting involved with him. It would be so… easy. But whenever such a thought surfaced Jack's face swam before her eyes causing her to abandon such an idea immediately. Situation hadn't been as clear cut as she would want it to be though - Sawyer became sort of her friend and she couldn't deny that she felt attracted to his bad boy charm.

Well, not anymore.

Every of Sawyer's touches in that cage sickened her, every brush of his fingers on her skin disgusted her, every kiss made her only want to cry in anguish… Pretending that she was actually enjoying it was hell. And when their captors decided that they had enough recording, all she could do was thank God, fate or whatever that they didn't make her go all the way. She stood there just in her panties, feeling violated and enraged. And they just smirked at her and told her she was a great actress and that it was a wonderful performance. She hadn't said a word, just pulled her pants and top on and stormed out of the cage as soon as they let her. She didn't pay attention to Sawyer calling after her or to Others' vulgar remarks. She just gritted her teeth and prayed for it to be over so she could wallow in self-pity.

The Others left some time ago and Kate felt quite sure that Jack, wherever they kept him, was being submitted to this horrid tape right this moment. Is he heart-broken, thinking that she was deceiving him all along? Does he think she forgot about him? Is he disgusted with her?

'He'll never want anything to do with me anymore' this thought caused another few tears to slide down her cheeks. She recalled the last time she saw him face to face – there on the deck, when with his intense eyes he was able to communicate to her whole universe of feelings – reassurance, comfort, love… 'That was only four days ago' she pondered and bit her lip to keep herself from crying out loud. 'Five days ago we confessed our feelings and now… now it's all gone… Does he hate me now?'

"Hey, Freckles!" Sawyer has been trying to make her talk to him for some time but Kate was ignoring him stubbornly. She knew that he was a victim here too… but she couldn't help thinking that he enjoyed the experience a bit too much… "Listen, Shortcake, I just wanna know if you're all right, that's all."

"When someone purposefully sits with their back turned to you it's not an invitation to conversation, Sawyer." she snapped without facing him.

"You don't wanna talk to me? Then don't. But throw me a bone here, I'm worried, ok?" he was getting irritated too.

Kate snorted and rolled her eyes even though he couldn't see it.

"I'm not fine, ok? I don't think I'll be fine anytime soon, thank you very much. What they made us do…" her voice broke and she stopped not bothering to finish the sentence.

"So… they're pervs. Probably haven't seen any good action in years…"

"Is that supposed to be funny?" she turned to him, her eyes so full of anger that he unconsciously stepped back into his cage. "Because it sure as hell ISN'T! This will ruin everything's that's good in my life, ok? So stop making stupid jokes, Sawyer. It would be best if you just shut up."

He looked at her strangely, baffled by her outburst.

"No need to twist your panties in a bunch, Freckles. It's not like they're going to publish it on the Internet or anything. I'm pretty sure that little movie won't be broadcasted nationwide. So chill."

"God, Sawyer!" she was getting more worked up by the minute and she couldn't stop it. The madness spiraled inside of her and threatened to consume her if she didn't give it some outlet. If it was by fighting with Sawyer, so be it. "What kind of a con man are you? Think! Do you really think that they wanted entertainment? They have a very specific goal. This… movie was made to be seen by one specific person." her voice dropped suddenly like all the air was sucked out of her. She pressed her forehead against the rough metal bars and prayed for this nightmare to be finally over. But she knew it wasn't over. Not by a long shot.

"You mean Doc." Sawyer concluded after a minute of silence. "They want something from him and think it would break him… Would it, Freckles?"

The sincerity in Jack's eyes when he told her he loved her. Sheer joy that the feeling was mutual. That finally all barricades and misunderstandings were gone…

Would something like that break Jack? Kate knew only one thing – if she was in his shoes and was shown such a tape… she would be completely devastated. The thought alone caused another flow of tears she couldn't stop.

She hasn't moved when they came for her. The blonde that was threatening to kill her and a few others. They opened the cage and nudged her outside.

"He wants to see you" the woman said evenly when the men were tying Kate's hands. "You have to make him believe that what he saw was true" only then Kate figured that she was going to see Jack. Tears dried on her cheeks and she had to hid the sparkle in her eyes. It was hard to act indifferent to this turn of events but Kate was good at pretend game. "Say whatever you want, but you have to break his heart. I don't care if you go the 'I love Sawyer' route or 'I like to sleep around' story or whatever. Destroy him, Kate. If you do, you and Sawyer will be set free, if not… Sawyer would die. Do I make myself clear?"

Kate only nodded, letting the men put a bag over her head. On the outside she was meek and passive but her head worked on overdrive. Her heart told her that this was her chance… her chance to let Jack know that her feelings haven't changed. And she was desperate to take that chance and make it work.

They were keeping Jack closer than she thought – they had been walking no longer than fifteen minutes, when she was lead into some kind of building. The feeling was strange… she could have sworn that the ground or floor beneath her feet was declining. But before she had the time to figure out the reason the bag was pulled of her head and the light in dingy mostly metal corridor blinded her for a moment. Kate's hands were untied and when she tried to bring the circulation back to her palms, the blonde opened the metal door and motioned Kate inside.

Kate swallowed, her throat dry and her heart suddenly beating twice as fast, and crossed over the threshold. The light in the room was tinted green and she had to squint to see what was around her. She didn't see Jack anywhere. The blonde shut the door leaving Kate seemingly alone in this murky place. Kate has seen some movement on the left but when she looked closer she saw that it was her own reflection. The room seemed to be divided in two parts by a huge pane of glass. She had a feeling that Jack would be on the other side of that glass wall and it caused her a bit of a heartache – she longed for his touch and has been deprived of it for too long… but now, now she would gladly settle for seeing him and talking to him… would they bring him to her? Or maybe he's there somewhere in the corner? She stood for a moment undecided.

"Jack?" she asked reluctantly into the space on the other side of the glass.

He moved so quickly that it almost frightened her when he appeared so close that she could almost touch him, if not for that stupid glass… He looked tired… and frustrated… and sad. Kate wanted to wipe the fatigue from his face with gentle touch and delicate kiss but she had to limit herself to putting her hands on the cold glass, close to his. But not too close – she remembered vividly blonde's words… she couldn't be too obvious about her real motives, Sawyer's life was on the line. And Kate was sure that though they seemed to be alone in the room they were monitored in some way.

They locked eyes and for just a moment everything seemed to be as it should be for Kate. And then Jack broke their eye contact.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking not at her face but at her pressed to the glass pane palm.

What could she say? She wasn't all right, but was it really fair to tell him that now, when he couldn't do anything about it?

"Jack…" she tried to load his name with as much meaning as she could… I'm fine 'now' because I'm with you… I'm sorry for what I HAVE to tell you… Please, listen with your heart and not with your ears only… Trust me… Trust our love…

"You seemed more than all right a while ago…" he snapped, his tone harsh, his eyes – when he finally looked into hers again – full of pain. "I've seen you with him."

So they weren't going to beat around the bush. Kate sighed quietly. Before she managed to say something he started again.

"Tell me it's a lie. That my eyes were deceiving me. That I shouldn't feel… rejected in the most callous and cruel way."

She flinched because though Jack truly tried to find some loophole and convince himself that what he saw COULDN'T have happened his scientific side armed with visual proof seemed to be winning. She ached for him because it was almost palpable that this internal fight was taking its toll on him.

"I… I'll explain, Jack." He shook his head. He didn't want explanation, he wanted to hear negation. And though it would be truth she couldn't admit it… not out front anyway. "Please, listen to me" she begged. He started to move away from the glass, but her desperate "Jack!" held him in place. Her voice was tearful but her resolve as hard as steel. She wasn't going to leave without telling him what she came here to say. "Look at me, Jack… Please… I need you to understand… Please, just listen to me for a few minutes. A few minutes of your uninterrupted attention, can you give me that? For old times sake?" He looked her in the eyes and nodded reluctantly. It wouldn't be easy to erase the pain this tape caused him, that was obvious. Kate was painfully aware that she should be careful with every word.

"I don't treat sex lightly, Jack. I don't believe in screwing around. I am a one man woman." Jack snorted but Kate didn't let herself be interrupted. "You promised to listen. In a few minutes you can think whatever you want about me but let me say what I need to say." He just lifted his brow encouraging her to speak. He thought probably that the sooner she's over and done with her little justification, the sooner he'll be able to throw her out of his heart. Kate didn't intend to let it happen. She took a deep breath and dived into her 'complete truth made to look like a total lie' project. "I believe in love first sex later, Jack. I… I fell in love when I walked on him half-naked on the beach. He wanted me to help him so I treated his injuries and got to know the side he doesn't show frequently. I think that I fell for him when he, without knowing me at all, told me that I'm brave because I didn't run, but stayed and helped him… Jack… I've been running all my life… from people, from getting attached, from my mistakes… But I found myself unable to run from him. I was constantly drawn to him… like a moth to a flame." Jack's eyes were so intense that Kate half expected it to melt the glass. He braced himself on the pane absorbing her every word. She had his attention, that much she knew, and though he might have not known yet what she was getting at, he knew already that the news wouldn't be as bad as he expected. "I know that I had slipped a few times on my road to him, that I ran to you and made you believe that something actually can happen between us. I shouldn't have lead you along and for that I am sorry. It won't happen again. We don't have any future. Remember when I apologized for kissing you? Our LAST conversation about any romance between us? I meant EVERY word, Jack. I still do. If you feel differently…"

"I know you were sincere…" he interrupted hoarsely, his posture stiff but his eyes sparkling with some new emotion. He knew what she was doing. Kate had to bite her lip to keep from smiling. It was going so well, she couldn't afford to ruin it now.

"That's good. I told you how I feel about him. It's not going to change. And because I love him he's the only man I can give myself to… I wouldn't do it with you."

Jack covered his mouth with his hand as if in a gesture of frustration, but Kate saw in his eyes that he wanted to cloak his smile.

"Yeah, I understand. But when he's out of the picture…"

"Don't say that!" she protested vehemently.

"If he's out of the picture, do I have a chance with you?"

"No." She shook her head fervently. "I think I haven't expressed myself clearly enough. He's the love of my life. His not being by my side won't make me love him any less. I won't settle for someone else. I just won't. That's why we can only be friends. Nothing more. I want to be your friend…"

"What if I can't be only your friend?" he looked at her seriously. Kate swallowed, knowing what he was asking about. The deal included only her and Sawyer to be let go and apparently Jack was aware of the fact that, at least for the time being, he would have to stay. The waiting for the moment where they would be able to talk again, hold each other and express their feelings would be torturous for both of them. He wanted to be sure that she'll wait for him. She wouldn't go for consolation prize, she knew it, and without doubts she could assure him that Sawyer's advances won't be welcome. "Then we won't be nothing at all."

"Is that your final decision?"

She nodded.

"Fine. He's a lucky guy. I hope he appreciates you the way you deserve it."

"He does." She whispered, disobedient tears brimming in her eyes.

His tender look told her that he desperately wanted to take her into his arms and she also wanted to be embraced by him but they didn't have such a luxury. Their time was coming to an end.

"I'm sorry but I have to say this. I… I need to. I love you, Kate."

Her heart almost burst with love for this man and it took tremendous effort to not let it show on her face. How could she answer to this without tipping her hand? She didn't know where the cameras were so she couldn't even mouth the same to him. She just nodded, hoping that her eyes speak for her clearly enough.

"I know." She said quietly, sinking, for the last time, in his eyes.

First tear spilled on her cheek just as the bolt on the door to her part of the room shifted and the blonde from earlier came in. She stood in the doorway, waiting for something…

Jack's face was inscrutable when he glanced at the intruder and Kate was forcibly reminded of his poker skills. He outsmarted Sawyer and caught her when she tried to manipulate him. He wasn't as helpless as he might have appeared to be and Kate was quite sure that the Others bit more than they could chew as far as Jack went. And as soon as Sawyer and her were freed she would find a way to bring Jack back and in this moment she was absolutely sure that they will be together again. The Others won't stop them. Nothing will stop them.

"The deal stands? You'll let them go?" The woman must have nodded because Jack added "Then I agree."

The blonde took Kate's arm roughly and dragged her out of the room. Kate couldn't help but keep the eye contact with him to the last possible moment. When the door shut and she couldn't see him anymore she let the tears flow freely.

She missed him already.

She didn't even feel the sting of the needle but she welcomed the darkness that followed. At least for a little while she could escape the pain.

Kate woke up with sunlight ruthlessly bombarding her eyelids and enhancing her terrible headache. It wasn't the cage… it was much darker there. She squinted and sat up. She was back on the dock and Sawyer was laying next to her. It had to be close to noon judging from the position of sun. She took a deep breath and smiled – she actually missed the smell of the ocean. Who would've thought? But it wasn't the time to bask in miracle of nature. It would have to wait till she got Jack back. Shaking of her grogginess and wincing at the sharp pain that followed Kate poked Sawyer harshly in the side.

"Get up!" She commanded briskly.

"Wha…?" Sawyer reacted sluggishly, the effects of some drug still visible.

"Get a grip, Sawyer. We have to go back to the camp and organize rescue team. Honestly, if they're not halfway here already after all Jack has done for them, I'm going to personally kick their collective asses." She stood up and brushed off her jeans. Sawyer still sat on the dock fighting through the haziness in his own head. But she didn't have time for it. "If you don't get up right now I'm going to leave without you. And we both know that you wouldn't be able to find your way back by yourself."

Sawyer grumbled but got up. When he was ready to take a first shaky step Kate already started to walk away.

"Hey! Wait up, Freckles! Jeez, slow down a bit. What's the rush? If they value Doc so much to keep him, fifteen more minutes for me to PROPERLY wake up wouldn't make any difference."

She stopped and waited for him to catch up but it was only because she didn't want to shout.

"To me every minute counts. How long can you live without your soul, Sawyer? Without the air to breathe? Without water to drink? He's all that to me. I'm going get him back as soon as possible. Period. Any questions?"

"What is it about him?" he murmured only, the conclusion that he ultimately lost the race for this woman's heart slowly forming in his groggy head.

"What isn't? He's everything and he's mine. And I'm his. And no Others are going to keep us apart. Come on, we have a rescue plan to formulate and execute." And Kate turned around and walked away leaving him in scorching sunlight.

"I'll be damned. And thus the hero gets the girl." Sawyer shook his head, immediately regretting this move, and followed Kate.

Kate's head was clearing and she started forming the beginning of a plan. The Others underestimated her and right this moment it suited her purposes wonderfully. She was willing to scheme and plot and fight to retrieve a small token of her lost first love… How much more will she fight for her man?

Kate reached the beach and lengthened her stride ignoring Sawyer's grumbling. In her mind's eye she already imagined her next reunion with Jack, confident that there will be one and that both of them will work restlessly to make it happen. No one would come between Jack and Kate. Not anymore.

The Others truly didn't know what they got themselves into.