Title: Hindsight
Author: Karleen
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Warner Brothers, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone. This was just written for fun.

Chapter One: She Hid Behind The Only Thing She Knows, Herself

"I understand but the order was still incomplete, Matt." she was on the phone with one of her purveyors. There was a knock on her door.

"So they'll be here by Friday? Great, thanks again." Another knock preceded the last and Michel entered her office. "Yes?" she looked up from her computer and placed the phone back on the receiver.

"Someone wants to speak to you and she said she's in a hurry." he said in his distinct accent. "but I'd already forgotten her name." he added.

"I'll be right out."

"I guess I might as well get her something to drink since I am the fetching guy in this place." he said as he walked out.

"Thanks Michel." she said and normally would have rolled her eyes with his remark but she just smirked. Ever since she and Luke broke up, everyone had been uncharacteristically nice to her which she found annoying. It wasn't the fact that she didn't like their behavior towards her, it was the underlying tone of pity that bothered her.

She walked toward the main desk but saw no one there so she turned to the dining room and saw a familiar figure sitting down, nervously tapping the table with her fingers.

"Liz" she gasped as though she'd seen a ghost. "H..How are you?"

"You're probably wondering what I'm doing here."

"Somewhat of a head-scratcher, I guess." she paused, not wanting to bring his name up first but knew that it was going to come up anyway. "I mean, I haven't seen you and Luke.. since the diner closed a year ago."

"I need to tell you this before I ask for the biggest favor I could ask of you." Lorelai looked at her with deep concern.

- - - - -

"It happened a month ago..." she went on to and told her that he was on route to Woodbridge to pick April up for their early summer excursion. Supplies for the camping trip were securely tied down on the back of his truck. Everything was set. It took one drunk driver to change his life forever. Luke didn't even see the car swivel towards him and when he finally did, it was too late. Weeks passed and nothing but the constant beeping of his heart monitor filled the hospital room. He was in a deep coma.

The only ones who knew were Liz, TJ and Jess. No one in Stars Hollow had heard of this freak accident. Since his breakup with Lorelai is permanent, the townies just figured that he kept his promise to close his diner and moved far away.

When he finally regained consciousness, he tried to pry his eyes open but the bandage blocked his view.

"What the hell is going on?" he cried and woke Liz up who slept on the couch near his bed.

"Luke you're awake!" she said as she went to hug him.

"I can't see a damned thing!" he exclaimed.

"Calm down a sec, please! you just got out of a coma."

"That doesn't explain why my eyes are all bandaged up."

"Luke... You were in a car accident and the collision almost killed you." she sniffled "This.. the doctors saved you. Your eyelids were severely damaged in the accident. You're just... temporarily blind, Luke, temporarily." she tried to reason with him.

"And what, I have to sit here and wait until they figure out a way so I can see again?" he couldn't help but be angry. "They should've just let me alone..."

"Don't say that. You don't mean that. Losing your sight and having to rely on others, that's hard...but losing you is not an option."

He'd been living with TJ, Liz and his baby nephew Adam, in their place up in Maine. At first, he never left his room and just slept until another day passed. He had yet to accept his situation, accept the fact that now, he had to depend on his sister and brother in law for his basic needs due to his temporary disability.

- - - - -

"I know I'm out of bounds for asking this of you but I don't know who else I can turn to. TJ, Adam and I need to be in the West Coast Renaissance Circuit for next month or else we're going to lose our prime spot for next year, which means no work again. I don't think Luke would want to tour the country in his condition. I would've called Jess, but he's promoting his book around the country. Luke staying in Stars Hollow with your help seemed like the only viable option but now, by the looks of your reaction... I don't know what to think anymore."

"I'm just trying to grasp everything you've just said."

"Then would you consider taking on the favor?"

"I have to think about it." she said firmly.

"That's all I'm asking...for now"

- - - - -

She tried all she could to get rid of her memories of him, but of course that was not as easy as 'Eternally Sunshining' everything away in a blink of an eye. It had been a year since they grew apart, after a year of trying to hold on to each other. The townies assumed that she's moved on when they saw Christopher more. He frequented Stars Hollow to visit or take her out. She gave him her, 'I'm, ok' smile and they with proceed with their night. He was oblivious to the pain that she masked. He just wanted this to work so bad that it didn't really matter how Lorelai truly felt about anything as long as they were ok. He still had yet to admit to himself that she was unhappy, she would always be until she got what she wanted. And unfortunately for Chris, he was just not it.

He told her that this was it for him, words he knew she wanted to hear. Albeit, she needed to hear the words from someone else but at that moment, she made herself believe him. That's why she'd agreed to whatever it was she and Chris had. Twelve months passed but that did not erase the pain at least she thought, 'at least he chose me now'.

She didn't feel emotionally or even physically connected to him but told her heart to go along with this because she believed that this was all she had left.

Lorelai caught herself drift off and snapped herself awake from day to day. She'd been living her life like she was hatched from a pod. She no longer dictated who she was. She had let her situation run her like an antique music box, and waited for someone to turn her wind up key to get her going. She started as early as a quarter to six to be at the Dragonfly then stayed and worked in her office until she felt like going home. She left early on nights when Chris took her out to dinner or something.

Stars Hollow is a small town and a drive home meant that she had to see a glimpse of the closed diner whenever she drove past the square. The same diner that she lived in, the same place that she walked away from. She felt her old self emerge and felt the tears that were about to break the dam that she'd held up for so long seeking for release. As those moments came, Pod Lorelai, immediately took over and shut off the water works before they even start. She managed to close her eyes, took a deep breath before she drove home where this cycle repeated itself from day to day like a broken record.

- - - - -

It had been a couple of weeks since she found out. She needed to see it herself to believe, even though she knew it wasn't the best choice for any one at this point. However, she was determined to find out how he was, if everything Liz said were true. She called Sookie and Rory that morning, told them that she's going to be out for a couple of days. She told them that she'd be back soon and not to worry.

She was on her way to Maine.

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where are you gonna go?

Switchfoot- Dare You to Move

to be continued...