Hey guys, good to see you. I was kinda bored, experiencing lots of writer's block for all my other serious fics. So, I decided to write a pervy, random, kinda pointless one. I hope you enjoy this as you VEEEERY patiently await my other stories.

P.S. What the heck happened to all the Troypay/Zashley fic writers? All I see these days are Troyella and Zanessa fics out there. C'mon guys! We're becoming overthrown again – which is partially one of the reasons I decided to write this fic.

Uh, anyways, enjoy.

Warnings: Strong language at some parts, A LOT of Sexual Innuendo, OOC Characters, and A LOT of Pointlessness

------------------------------------------------------------

Of Groaning and Algebra Homework

-----------------------------------------------------------

'I'm so stupid!' he convinced himself for the fiftieth time. He'd been sitting in his room after getting a huge dose of lip abuse from his ex-girlfriend, Gabriella Montez.

They'd stayed after school since Troy, being the athletic idiot he was, needed help with his Algebra homework. So, he ran to the best tutor he knew. Well, actually there was no running. And he didn't ask anyone for help.

Earlier That Day

"Damn it, I don't get any of this!" the boy roared, whacking his math notebook against his desk, as if this action would give him the answers.

"Oh Troooy," came the seductive voice that could only belong to Gabriella Montez. Her fingers crawled up his back, and he giggled.

"Hey, stop! That tickles!" he beamed, whacking away the girl's hand.

"I'll help you," the brunette said, her eyes glistening with desire. "Come after school, and I'll make it worth your while."

Troy blinked, his eyes glistening with… cluelessness. His eyebrows rose.

"I dunno… I'm kinda going out with Sharpay later –"

"NO YOU'RE NOT!" Gabriella said in a voice way too Satanic, deep and loud for a girl of her kind. If that wasn't enough, her eyes had also flashed red.

The athlete stepped back blinking, pretty scared.

"I – I mean," she said, fluttering her lashes at him, her voice high and sweet as usual, "I think it's best if you cancel your date – just this once. You know, just for your grade. If you get a bad grade, then you won't be able to play basketball anymore, will you?"

She was right. If he flunked another class, he wouldn't be allowed back on the team.

Troy reflected on this.

Gabriella grew impatient.

"Well?!"

He looked up.

"Sharpay is way more important to me than basketball," he said, his eyes big, shining with love and sincerity. You could almost hear the audience 'aw-ing'.

His ex almost threw up at the sappiness.

"Well, your dad'll take away your Xbox if you don't get a good grade," she said, causing him to panic.

"Fine, I'll do it!" he answered immediately, almost hyperventilating.

"I knew you would, my precious," the girl said, her voice eerily high and twisted, as she began to pet the top of Troy's head.

He blinked curiously, a little creeped out.

"Okay…"

After School

"… See, I don't get this problem. Or that one. Oooor that one. Or this one, or that one, or this one or that one –"

"Come here, you lugheaded hottie!" Gabriella let out, pulling him by the shirt.

"NOOO-"

But it was too late. She'd gotten a hold of him, and was now basically raping his lips with her own.

'Damn… for a math freak, she's got a really good grip,' Troy thought, as he struggled to get away, which was a futile action. She had an iron grip when it came to holding Troy.

"Troy I forgot my – AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Sharpay screamed.

The door had opened at some point, but the sound had gone unheard due to the moans Gabriella had been omitting – which were way louder than they should've been.

"Marfay!" Troy tried, smothered by his ex's lips.

"YOU CHEATING SON OF A BITCH! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" the blonde screamed, turning, the door slamming shut behind her.

The athlete began to feel depressed, and his ex girlfriend's lips weren't helping the cause. He suddenly began feeling faint, since he had realized that all his air had been cut off.

"Unt… mreebe…" he tried. He shoved the girl away with the strongest of force, rejoicing once he finally breathed oxygen into his lungs.

Strangely, Gabriella didn't need to pant at all. She sat on top of the desk, her legs crossed, looking as seductive as ever.

"What do you say to another round, dearest Troy?" she asked, patting the spot beside her.

Once he'd finally caught his breath – which took at least seven minutes - he stood straight.

"I may be a dumbass when it comes to academics, but I know this is wrong! So I won't do it!" he said, grabbing his books and turning for the door.

Once he reached it, he looked back at Gabriella, whose stature hadn't changed.

"Plus, I don't feel like dying form suffocation!" he said, and slammed the door behind him.

The brunette shrugged.

"I guess I'll have to call Ryan again…"

Back to Present

Troy had tried calling Sharpay on the phone to explain what had happened. Nobody answered. He tried going over to their house. Ryan answered the door.

"Oh. It's you," he said with narrowed eyes. He had his coat folded over his arm.

"Yeah… is Sharpay here?" the athlete asked, trying to look past the doorway.

"Yes. She's in her room crying. And it's all your fault! Now go away and don't come back," the blonde boy sneered.

"But I –"

"Hey, hey! That's what you get for breaking her heart. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a meeting with Gabriella," Ryan said, locking the door as he pushed past Troy.

The athlete mopily walked home.

Now he sat in his room, sad, as he played Sharpay's favorite song over and over again. Well maybe it wasn't her favorite song. Well, maybe she hated the song, but he still played it over and over again.

"I've gotta tell her I'm sorry," he convinced himself.

Before he had any time to think, he was on his feet, running to Sharpay's house.

He arrived at the back, staring up at her darkened room. He had a knack for breaking into people's backyards.

Sighing, he picked up a rock and threw it at the girl's window.

Instead of hitting glass, it went right through, landing with a thud.

"Ow!" he heard his girlfriend let out.

Troy thought quickly about what song he was gonna sing. After all, what was sneaking into your girlfriend's backyard without singing a song?

'Start of Something New…? No, overused. How about…'

He cleared his throat, and began to sing.

"Welcome to mother fuckin detroit! God damn it wonder boy, shit!"

His voice rang clear and loud through the night.

"Where's my gangstas and all my thugs,
Throw them hands up and show some love
And I Welcome you to Detroit City
I said welcome to Detroit City
Every place everywhere we go
Man we deep everywhere we roll
Ask around and they all know Tricky
Ask what's good and they all say Tricky!"

Sharpay's bedroom light switched on, and she ran to her window, holding the rock that had Troy had thrown… the rock that had landed on her head.

"Click, click, boom, just as soon as we hit the room
You can hear 'em holla Goon Squad in this bit – OW!" Troy exclaimed.

The blonde had thrown the rock at his head, causing him great pain.

"Why the hell are you singing Detroit City in my backyard!?" Sharpay asked the boy, as he wiped the tears from his eyes. The rock had hit him with quite a heavy impact.

"I just wanted to explain what you saw today!" he said, stepping closer to the house.

"What does that song have to –"

"Look, Sharpay, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have –"

"Shhh! It's eleven o'clock! Here, just climb up the vine, you stupid idiot," she said, calling him over.

He obeyed and climbed up to the window.

Troy was almost in, when the vine beneath him snapped.

"Oh, shi –"

Sharpay pulled him back into her room by his hair, throwing him onto the ground as he swung in through the open window. She went back to the window, shutting it tight.

"You are so lucky my parents are away for the weekend," she said, tending to the bruised boy on her bedroom floor.

"Sharpay, I'm so sorry," he began immediately, sitting up. "I shouldn't have trusted Gabriella. I was trying to push her away – and she wouldn't let go – and – and I couldn't breathe…" he said, his voice quieting with every word. He moved into fetal position as he rocked back and forth.

The blonde smiled at him.

"Did she make you suffer that bad?" Sharpay asked, bending down to Troy's level.

As she bent, he couldn't help but notice her loose tank top which had dropped a little, exposing a great view of large, still covered breasts.

He nodded vigorously.

She sighed, and placed her hands on his cheeks.

"Okay, since you did suffer a lot, I forgive you," she said, planting a kiss on his lips.

He smiled, leaning in, glad everything had worked out in the end.

Except for the whole part where his Xbox was going to be confiscated – and that he was going to get kicked off of the basketball team.

It didn't matter much since he'd become lost in her eyes, and she in his – until loud banging and squeaking noises began to come from another room.

"What's that?" he asked, standing.

Sharpay rolled her eyes, and the telltale sound of Gabriella's groans were heard.

"Ryan invited Gabriella over – again," she said, crossing her arms.

Troy blinked cluelessly, wondering how the noises and Gabriella's being here connected.

Sharpay just rolled her eyes and kissed him again.

------------------------------------------------------------

End

------------------------------------------------------------

Heheh… hope you enjoyed that. Anyways, review on your way out if you can.

P.S. If you're a writer, start writing some more Troypay fics! God knows we need them.