Hey, everyone! Just to let you all know, I'm not dead but very much alive and well. (Not to mention still writing!) For those of you who are curious, I do have a much larger story that I'm going to post soon, right as soon as I get it all looked over by a beta.

Anyway, I was watching this scene, and I thought a Clark POV might be a good idea for it. Especially since the writers of Smallville haven't given up much insight into the Clark/ Lex relationship this season. Then that got me thinking, and now I'm considering doing a follow up to this story. I don't know, I guess just leave it in your reviews if you want to see that.

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It's not right, I know. I shouldn't be judging him on the mistakes of others, but I know better than anyone else what the well-tailored suits and fancy cars can mean. Not every rich person is like him, but it's so hard to look at Oliver Queen and not see Lex Luthor.

Rich, charming, handsome, and possessing a blurred line between wrong and right—the similarities go on and on. Oliver is like Lex back when Lex was my friend, right after we'd just met. The man wants to do right, but he's got a darkness in him, so similar to Lex.

I believed in Lex, and no matter what he's said to me in the not-so-distant past, I think I made him believe in himself too. For a few years I think he truly wanted to be a good man; I think he truly wanted to be different from his father.

It hurt to hear Oliver ask me if I hated him because he was like Lex Luthor. Having feelings like that, well, that's just not a part of myself that I care to examine. After all, it's how my father saw Lex as just another Luthor all those years. Didn't I always tell him that Lex wasn't his father and that he should be judged as Lex and not as Luthor? And now I'm looking at Oliver, and I can't stop myself from seeing the wealth and the rich boy persona. It scares me to think that I may have become the same as my father in this sense, because, as much as I loved him, he did have faults.

I want to tell Oliver that, no, I don't see him that way, but the words won't come. Instead I can only look at him as he talks, listen as he tells me his views on right and wrong. I don't agree, and I tell him so, even if I'm not sure exactly what I think. Maybe I'm just so desperate to think that I'm not like him—or, better put, that I'm not at all like Lex.

The thought scares me.

I don't know what to say when he gives me the necklace back. It's a gesture that I didn't expect, and yet it's one that puts me in a very strange place. I'm not sure who the necklace belongs to, and maybe I was content to leave that burden to Oliver.

Sometimes it's easier to be the moral compass than the one in need of guiding.

I don't know what else to do, so I take the necklace as Oliver hands it to me. It's impossible not to listen as he tells me that the world needs people like me and that I should come to him when I've decided I want to do something about that. A part of me says that, yes, I should listen to Oliver in this particular instance, but part of me—the part that is like my father—sees a rich boy with an overkill of confidence and a sense of right and wrong that is so different from mine.

I don't know if I want to try this again, because my first shot at this kind of friendship has left me with a sort of pain I don't want to think about. But, by trying to cover the hurt, maybe I've already told myself more than I want to know.

Lex's betrayal cut deep and it's made me question all my relationships. Who will always stand by me and who, like Lex, will only end up causing me pain? Who should I really trust? Can I trust anyone anymore, or was the spaceship correct when it said humans were a flawed race? Is the Kryptonian race really any better?

I know part of what happened between me and Lex is my fault. After all, you can only tell so many lies before someone as curious as Lex tries to find answers. And I don't blame him for that, really—what I blame him for is how he did it.

Lex always was over the top when it came to some things, but that room that I found at the end of my junior year—that was beyond scary. Still, I could handle that, because it was just about me. But putting my parents and Lana in danger? I couldn't stand for that.

I struggle with myself sometimes, wondering if I should have told Lex my secret. At this point, however, I'm glad I didn't. There were—and still are—too many variables, and people other than just me could have gotten hurt.

This way I'm the only one who has to hurt.

I watch Oliver walk down the stairs, his slim form disappearing as he moves out of sight. It's not right to judge him by what happened to me with Lex, I know, but sometimes you just can't help but let your past influence your present. Wasn't it Lex who taught me that? At the time I didn't know how true that statement was, but now it's becoming clearer than ever.

Lex taught me things; he made me look at the world in a completely different light. There are days when I think being his friend was worth it just because of that, even now with all the problems that it's caused. What's gone on between us is still teaching me things, actually. After all, I'd be a fool not to learn from my experiences with Lex, even if I'm also a fool to let them have such a hold on me.

I know this, but some memories just won't die.