A/N: A oneshot, inspired by a thing I read on the profile of Kailuver666. I don't do very many oneshots but (actually this is only my second) I hope you like. In Gaara's POV
Couples: Main: NaruGaara. Hinted: LeeSaku
Butterflies
We had just arrived in the village that would host the chunin exams this year. I went off, wanting time on my own; away from my siblings. After all I traveled with them all the way here and am sick of them. I walked around the little town, so different from my home. I come to a school, I hadn't even noticed til just now. There was a small swing attached to a tree limb. I couldn't help but sit in it, the soft noise coming from it as the wind blew it back and forth; beckoned me.
A small butterfly flew past me once I was resting quietly in the swing. It was a large insect, with pure blue wings. My eyes followed it lazily and once it was gone I moved. I repaired sometime later hanging upside down off a tree limb. My older brother had started some unnecessary trouble. It annoyed me and I got him to stop. And meet an interesting group. I girl with pink hair…she seemed weak and didn't interest me at all. A boy who's name is Sasuke…he interested me more. He has a lot of strength and a strong sense of hate about him. It would be fun to kill him, but that'll have to wait. Another boy was there too, one I don't think to be strong. Normal strength I would say, nothing special. Yet something about him, about his attitude screams differently. Something about him wanted me to find out more. There's something there I just can't pin point it. All in all the blonde intrigued me, and an invisible force drew me to him. Though I just blow the feeling off, in favor of finding out the name of the much stronger yet less intriguing boy.
After that my siblings and I leave the scene. Though I glance back one more time at the blonde boy. No one seems to notice.
We are all standing outside of a forest. All those who passed the first exam are here for the next part. It sounds easy enough, and I just want to get this over with. None of this interests me or for fills my inner need for blood.
Once released inside of the forest, I have my fun with a few people. My siblings not saying a word as a torture and play with my victims. Though I know these sights must disgust them. We get this part of the test over with rather quickly, and we would have done it even quicker if I wasn't playing around so much.
While we were heading to the spot we were suppose to go after getting all the scrolls, I saw it once again. The same butterfly I'd observed when I first got here. Well I'm sure it's not the exact same one, but it looked like it. For some reason it made me angry. Like it was taunting me with its freedom. While I was stuck to always be alone, to only be used by other people. Though I'm strong enough to kill all those who control me, I don't do it. Why? I don't know, all I know is that I'm a weapon to my father, a demon to everyone else, and I'm the only one who loves me. No one else, and I need no one else, I need not worry about anyone else. They could all die, by my hand at that and I wouldn't care. Then why not just do it? I don't know…
For some reason I think back on that idiotic blonde boy. The one who seems very much like this butterfly, free, and taunts me. The insects wings glitter, and it's then that I notice that the wings are the same color like the idiot boys' eyes. What a strange thing for me to think of. I stop thinking such strange and uncharacteristic thoughts and concentrate on the exam. Though there isn't much left to do but open the scrolls.
I am watching the boy fight. His name, Naruto. Why does he interest me so much? It's really annoying how I can't seem to get him out of my head. I never thought on things for long, I never much cared about anything. I am usually only interested in people I want to kill, who I want to test my power on. But, I don't want to kill this boy. This…I've never thought or said anything like this.
The fight comes to an end, Naruto as the victor. Watching him fight was…well not what I expected. It was like he won by accident. I didn't much pay attention to the next fight. There was a lot of blood shed though, and I could smell it. I started to get a little uneasy, the Shukaku stirring inside of me.
I am eager once it is my turn to battle. Before the names even show up I teleport myself down into the arena. I look up at my soon to be opponent, acting like a fool. His eyes on a girl with pink hair. He was talking to her through out this whole ordeal, while others were fighting. And I couldn't help but think he wants to show off for her. I smirk to myself, then I'll give her a show. I'll strike him down in front of the one she seems to flirt with. It's obvious he likes her, and I'll get pleasure out of humiliating him in front of her. After all why should he be able to feel love for someone and I can't? Why should he win over the affections of the girl, when I'm doomed to always be alone?
The one named Lee finally comes down, and we get ready to fight. He was a good opponent but not good enough, he made the mistake of pissing me off. And for that he'll die, though I was stopped before I could take the boys last breath. His teacher had come in and stopped me. I couldn't understand why. Why is it that this boy is loved? Is it because he's useless, for he can't do anything other then taijutsu? Are all those useless people loved? And all those powerful hated, like me. I hold my head, trying to finger out how this boy can love and be loved. Yet I can't, after all I've been through; any hope of love is gone. But I never asked for this. Why can't I love, I want to…But, my mother must have been right in giving me my name. No one will love me, but me. And I should stop thinking about trying to have the feeling of love for anyone else. After all love has made so many weak. Why would I want that?
I walk away, and the one named Naruto goes to his friend. As he passes me he looks at me with hate, and for some reason there came a pain in my chest. I went back up to stand by my sister, seeing the pink haired girl want to go to Lee, but she was stopped. She cared for him...she wanted to go after him. Yet if I were in that same sitiation would anyone care? No, of course not. Soon this part of the exam is over, and they explained to us the rest. And how we should take the time to train.
Throughout the whole down time, I couldn't control my thoughts. Night and day I'd think of the blonde boy or the one called Lee. And it was starting to annoy me very much, until I couldn't stand it anymore. I get up and head to the hospital. On the way I spot the blue butterfly again. There to tease me like it's done the last couple of days. There to show me the freedom of the soul I do not have, because after all I'm a cursed soul. A demonic self-loving person. While the little bug does not have to please anyone, or be used by anyone. Or have to worry about the feeling of love that I've tried to comprehend. Because once it comes time, it'll find a mate. But I…I'll for ever be alone, but I'm ok with that. I don't want fake love. And most people only love you for their own benefit, so maybe love just doesn't exist anymore. And I shouldn't be bothered by it. I've never thought of it so much until I came here.
I'm sure that love doesn't exist, maybe once long ago it did. Then I reach the hospital, and see him. The one I want to kill that I could have killed if someone who cared about him didn't stop me. I get angry, as I see the pink haired girl with him. Begging him to stop, because he's pushing himself too far. She cares for him, and doesn't want him to hurt himself. They care for each other, because that's what love is right? And theirs is just now blooming. How I hate it, it makes me want to take the boys life even more. The girl starts to cry for him as the nurse leaves to get a doctor. The boy was an idiot, and should've listened to the one that cares for him.
I enter the hospital and find his room after the whole scene outside. I'm over him, rage reaching a boiling point inside of me. Then once again I'm stopped. I turn to see the blonde, the one with the butterfly eyes, that seem to taunt me so. There was another boy there as well, but I could care less. The blonde yells at me, and I tell him I'd kill him if he tries to stop me. Though I wouldn't, something about those blue eyes something about the boy…I have no will to kill him. It's a strange feeling. A feeling I don't quite understand, I've never been one for mercy.
I don't know how it got to this, but I'm telling him about me. About my childhood, about the demon inside me. And though those eyes held hate and cockiness, there was pity. A look of understanding and pity, something noones ever given me. Something that made me mad at first, but once it was all over…there was a strange warm sensation in my chest.
No one had ever cared, no one had ever given me pity or understanding. Was that what drew me to the boy when I first saw him? Did I know some how he'd understand, that we are the same…somehow. Is..is this what people call….love at first sight? I ask myself and then throw the thought completely out of my mind. What a stupid cliché thing. I could never love anyone, and I could never be loved by anyone. And we all know love at first sight is just something people who write unrealistic love stories made up.
I walk around, seeing as I can not sleep. Because, I can not afford to shut my eyes. And so I can not escape reality, I'm doomed to wonder alone in the real world. Always to remind me of how my life is worthless, until it comes to murder. That's all I'm good for is killing, and no one would love a killer. I don't notice how I've made it back to the tree swing. The one that I sat on when I first entered this village. The one that seemed to call me as the wind pushed it. It seemed now to hold pain, like a memory of a child. Then I saw it, the blue winged insect. It sat quietly on the swing, then fluttered in my direction. It seemed to be calling me, wanting me to follow. And of lack of anything better to do, I do.
I must be crazy, to go and follow a butterfly. But it fluttered slowly, going in loops in the air, and then finally flying up and away. I look up to see a window. A light shined through the glass. And all of a sudden it opened. The boy the one named Naruto looked out. He yawned, and looked around. Then he spotted me. He glares at me.
"What do you want!" He yells. My legs seemed to move even though I told them not to. Then my sand came around me, though I told it not to. It lifted me up to the window, and the blonde looked at me.
"We're not so different." I say, not noticing that the words formed on my lips. The blonde looked at me confused, then the same look of pity and understanding came over him.
"Guess not, except I don't go around killing people! Believe it!" His voiced had started out so soft, but in the end sounded like he hated me. Which is understandable, after all I did try to kill a friend of his, and he hardly knows anything about me. But I couldn't leave, not just yet, my sand wouldn't let me. There was that strange feeling of warmth in my chest again.
Naruto only stared at me, then spoke again. "I'm sorry though." He says.
"For what?" I mumble.
"I know how it is to have something inside of you, that makes everyone spite and look down at you. But, man you're life really sucked!" He says with somewhat of a friendly tone. No ones ever said such things to me. It was strange and invoked a feeling I couldn't understand.
The next thing I knew our lips were touching. Was I the one who made that move? I couldn't remember, I pull away. What was this? I'm kissing a complete stranger, I stare blankly at the blonde. Who only pulled me to him again, as we locked lips once more. He was so gentle, moving his lips against mine. And I felt so strange inside, as his hand tilted my head to the side to deepen the kiss. I didn't get it, is this love? I don't understand, but right now I don't care to understand. No matter how cliché this may seem, right now I am happy. Like this was the one other person in the world who could love, a self-loving demon like me.
A/N: So what do you think? Just a cute little one shot, hope you liked it. Please take the time to leave me a review.