The Bottle of Fortune

An Ouran High School Host Club Fanfiction

DISCLAIMER: I, EmbeRin, do not own any of Ouran High School Host Club, and never will.

It was a beautiful Sunday at the Fujioka household. Sun rays streamed through the window, lighting up the living room of the condominium. One of the condominium's residents was currently in the room, completing what appeared to be homework. Just as she finished up the last of the papers and placed her pen down, thinking of the deals at the supermarket, she heard a knock on the door.

Well, I'll go deal with that and then I'll have a great Sunday before I got back to my regular 'duties'… Sighing, she approached the door and was about to open it when she heard a voice from the other side of the door.

"Haruhi!" a very familiar voice called.

... so much for the supermarket.

"We're here to make sure Haruhi doesn't get stolen by those Roberia girls, sir!" Tamaki announced to the not-very-pleased okama father who had woken up with a cranky look, in order to give a reason for his and the rest of the Host Club's appearance. Behind his smiling demeanour he was shuddering, but he wasn't about to let his personal fear rid him of a day with Haruhi. At least, he was trying not to.

Haruhi's dad simply shrugged it off.

"Whatever… I got woken up from a rare sleeping time for this…" he said grumpily, scanning the group over with his eyes. "Ah, Kyoya! How is Haruhi doing at school? I trust nothing bad is happening to her?" How quickly his mood changed… He and Kyoya then proceeded to converse, about to leave for a more comfortable area.

"Hey! How come you're not asking me about these things?" Tamaki exploded. "I'M the one who talks to her more! Why are you asking HIM?"

"Be quiet, you lousy excuse for a president!" Fujioka Ryoji (who preferred the name Ranka) snapped back.

"Please excuse him," Hitachiin Hikaru and Hitachiin Kaoru prompted, dragging Tamaki into the next room.

"Come, Haru-chan!"

The despondent teen subject to Suoh Tamaki's constant antics, one Fujioka Haruhi, looked down to see Hunny (also known as Haninozuka Mitsukuni) tugging her shirt sleeve. With unseen force he dragged Haruhi into the room, leaving his silent companion Morinozuka Takashi (better known as Mori) to slide the doors behind him.

"H-hey!" I'm being bossed around in my own house… I wonder if they're still bumping into the lightbulb in the ceiling… Haruhi sighed. Rich people will be rich people, I suppose.

Not a moment after she entered the room, she witnessed three heads conk themselves on the lightbulb in succession. It would seem that the said trio could use some lightbulbs in their brains themselves. Hunny quickly stepped aside so that he and Haruhi avoided the domino chain of bodies. Just as the person at the back of the domino (Tamaki) was about to fall, Mori stuck out his hand. The collapse immediately stopped and straightened.

"Er… thank you, Mori-senpai," Tamaki said briskly, dusting off his clothes. His eyes immediately searched the room for his beloved daughter. As Haruhi got up after being yanked to the side by Hunny, Tamaki rushed over to her, draping his arms over her shoulders and pulling her into an embrace.

"Are you faring well, Haruhi? I missed you so," he drawled, casually lowering his head so he could see her face.

"I was faring very well until you came," Haruhi replied, definitely not sounding very happy. "What are you guys doing here this time?"

At those words, Tamaki retreated to a previously established sulking/mushroom-growing corner, where he began to go through his process of relieving disappointment. Hikaru and Kaoru shot each other a mischievous glance, their eyes glinting. They slunk over to Haruhi, who had her head in her hands, groaning in despair.

"Hey, Haruhi…" Hikaru said, slinging an arm around Haruhi's waist, drawing her close.

"We just came over to have some fun…" Kaoru added, tilting her chin up with his hand so their eyes met.

"So, wanna play with us?" The twins grinned.

The last comment immediately galvanized Tamaki into action. Rushing out of his sulking corner, he began to bombard the Hitachiin brothers with mushrooms of various sizes, at the same time attempting to wrench Haruhi from their tight grasps. It was evident that Tamaki was in his element when it came to matters concerning Haruhi.

"Unhand her, you fiends!" he cried.

And what about you? Haruhi thought, not at all impressed.

Soon left out of the fray, Haruhi shifted her attention back to Hunny and Mori, who were standing by the sidelines. Hunny seemed to be enjoying himself (although he seemed like that all the time) and Mori was simply wearing his usual deadpan expression.

"Uh… Hunny-senpai," Haruhi said to the short blonde martial artist. "Why DID you guys come over here in the first place?" She figured asking Hunny might be a little more effective than asking Mori, though Hunny often didn't give the best answers.

"Tama-chan found a new game!" was the chipper reply.

The fighting stopped as the twins finally sighed in relief. Tamaki shuffled over to where Haruhi was, smiling slyly as he brandished a wine bottle that used to contain wine of the highest quality. Goodness knows where he got the bottle.

"I believe it's called… spin the bottle?"

A great fuss was made of who was going to sit where, so after a few moments of shoving and shifting, Haruhi ended up sitting between Hikaru on her left and Tamaki on her right. Next to Hikaru was Kaoru, and next to Tamaki was Mori. Hunny sat across from Haruhi, although his bunny didn't seem to be in sight. A gap for the door was left between Hunny and Kaoru.

"Milord," Hikaru began once the little group of six had settled down.

"How does this game work?" Kaoru continued.

"Well, I'm not too sure, but I believe the person who goes first will spin the bottle on the ground. Whoever the bottle points to, the person has to kiss."

"Kiss?" Hunny asked. "Just on the cheek, right?"

"… yes!" Tamaki decided, thinking that it would be quite unpleasant to kiss a guy on the lips. "And then the person who got kissed has to spin the bottle next."

"W-wait a second," Haruhi exclaimed, waving her hands around. "I am NOT going to play this game. Just because you're a kiss-a-holic, Tamaki-senpai, doesn't mean I am." She shoved back and was about to stand up when Hikaru grabbed her arm.

"Do this for us, Haruhi?" he and Kaoru chorused, complete with teary eyes.

Haruhi sighed. "On one condition."

"Yay!" Hunny said happily.

"Each person only spins the bottle once. Then you all have to leave. There must be something else for you guys to entertain yourselves with."

"Oh, but none as beautiful as you, Haruhi," Tamaki replied. "Need I explain why, o fair one?"

"NO," Haruhi replied. "Let's just get this over with… who's going first?"

Hikaru and Kaoru grinned.

"Milord… why don't you show us how to play first?" the twins said, snickering. "You're the one who's so eager to play, after all… give the bottle a spin! Or are you scared?"

Five pairs of eyes turned on the shocked Host Club King, who gulped. Slowly, Tamaki reached out for the wine bottle, placing his hand around the middle. With a flick of his wrist, he cast the bottle into rotational motion.

As the bottle slowed, everyone began to hold their breaths. Right after it spun clockwise past Kaoru, it stopped.

At an empty space.

Tamaki sighed in relief. At least he didn't have to kiss any of the other guys… although that meant he didn't get to kiss Haruhi either. There was still hope.

"So, does Tama-chan kiss the wall?" Hunny asked innocently.

"No, it just means I don't kiss anyone – "

The door slid open, revealing a somewhat amused Kyoya.

Tamaki gaped.

"Now, I don't mind that you are all enjoying yourselves while I talk with Ranka-san, but – Tamaki, why are you gawking at me like that?" Kyoya asked the blond, sending to him one of his glares. Hunny put a hand to his mouth, Mori raised an eyebrow, the Hitachiin twins burst into laughter and Haruhi simply said, "This is what you get for wanting to play, Tamaki-senpai."

"NOOOOOO…" Tamaki cried dramatically, slowly flumping onto the floor like he was a melting ice cube. "Kyoya, why'd you have to come in now? Why not two seconds later when Hikaru would have spun the bottle or something? WHY?"

"Is there a problem, Haruhi?" Kyoya completely ignored the wailing Tamaki.

"No… just that Tamaki-senpai wanted to play 'spin the bottle'," Haruhi said, gesturing to the wine bottle now perfectly pointing at Kyoya's feet. Kyoya stared at the bottle for a few moments. He blinked.

"Soemtimes your stupidity eludes any sense whatsoever, Tamaki," he said, sighing. "You and your commoner games… you owe me ten times however much of a profit we make next week."

I don't see how bad that is, Haruhi thought, unimpressed. You're both filthy rich as it is… However, this threat had a larger impact on Tamaki than she anticipated. Being unexpectedly miserly, he was sent into despair over whether his money was worth more than his honour.

In the end, Tamaki's honour won over his desire for money, so he stiffly got up and started across the room. He scrunched up his face as he approached Kyoya, while the twins continued to laugh in the background. In a fluid motion, he managed to quickly peck Kyoya on the cheek and recoil from the momentum to land flat on the floor.

Kyoya took a napkin he had on him and cleanly wiped the precise spot where Tamaki's lips had made contact. His face was not one of enjoyment. Indeed, the glare was equivalent to that of when he was woken early and the 'low blood pressure evil overlord' was unleashed.

"… very well. I shall be leaving now," Kyoya commented coldly and left, the door sliding shut behind him. A moment after he left, Tamaki spat.

"Having to waste my lips when they could be indulged in something much sweeter…" Tamaki said, inching back towards his seat – and Haruhi. "Will you enlighten my senses, dear Haruhi?"

"No."

While Tamaki retreated to his corner once more, Hikaru grabbed the bottle and gave it a spin. Once again the group (now minus Tamaki) held their breaths as the bottle circled around and around, this time counter-clockwise.

The bottle almost stopped by the time it returned to Hikaru again. It went past his right foot a little and was about to stop in front of Haruhi. It would have, too, if Tamaki hadn't dived in front of Haruhi after sensing danger to his 'daughter'.

"Never!" Tamaki cried belligerently, sliding himself between Haruhi and the bottle tip. "Don't worry, Haruhi, Daddy's here to save you!"

"I'm not sure I really need the help," Haruhi mumbled. "Are you sure you want Hikaru to kiss you?"

"That was cheap, milord," Hikaru accused. "Just because you didn't get Haruhi doesn't mean you can jump in front of my spin."

"Well, there's nothing against it…" Hunny commented.

"Hunny-senpai does have a point, Hikaru," Haruhi said. 'As long as I'm out of it, I'm okay with it, really."

It was only then did it hit Tamaki that now that Haruhi wasn't going to get kissed by Hikaru, HE was. With a scream, he jumped up and scooted back to his own seat, scared of the prospect.

"So… does that mean I get to kiss Haruhi now?" Hikaru asked, smirking at Tamaki's hasty retreat. "I mean, you're not in front of the bottle any more, milord." He exchanged a glance and a grin with Kaoru. Tamaki was completely and utterly trapped, but he wasn't about to lose his (supposed) composure.

"N-no!" Tamaki exclaimed. It was better him than Haruhi to suffer this fate, so he bravely slid forward and braced himself. Hikaru, on the other hand, outraged that Tamaki had cheated him out of a moment with Haruhi, decided revenge had to be exacted. So when Tamaki braced himself for the kiss, Hikaru quickly pecked him, but not without a sneaky jab into Tamaki's side (a ticklish spot) with a carefully aimed finger.

"Wahahaha!" Tamaki cried. "That tickles!"

Of course, no one else could tell what had really happened, so they only stared at Tamaki like he was crazy. Hikaru's face was one of angelic innocence. It was a lot easier to believe Hikaru than Tamaki, simply because Hikaru at least gave the impression of having more sense. Knowing he would be fighting a losing battle if he accused Hikaru of cheating, he sat back down in his seat.

Deciding that he should spin the bottle next, Kaoru grabbed the bottle and gave it a whirl, but before it stopped moving the door opened again.

"What was that noise just now?" Kyoya, the person who opened the door, asked. "Was it you, Tamaki?"

The blond gulped.

"Nevertheless, at least you aren't breaking down Haruhi's house or something. And this game could make for interesting group amusement. Hmm… well, I should go back and tell Ranka-san that everything's okay. And whoever spun the bottle has to give Hikaru a kiss, it seems."

The door slid shut again.

"Kao-chan has to kiss Hika-chan?" Hunny blinked. "Only on the cheek… right?"

"Well… yeah," Kaoru said, a little stiffly. He took his twin's face in his hand. Turning Hikaru's head around, he lightly placed his lips on the other Hitachiin's cheek. Suddenly letting go of Hikaru's head as though it burned him, Kaoru made a face and offered the bottle to Hunny, who uncovered his cowering face. Hikaru took care to wipe his cheek.

Hunny carefully grabbed the bottle and spun it around, although since he spun it by the tip it was sent into a random spiral motion around the small circle of members. Scared of where it would land, Hunny covered his face (again). The bottle stopped in front of Mori.

Hunny blinked as he uncovered his face. The rest of the group gasped. Haruhi wondered how Hunny and Mori would take this.

"I… have to kiss…" Hunny started, blinking at the bottle with his wide, childish eyes. Tamaki sucked in his breath. The twins leaned in. Would Hunny kiss Mori? Or would he recoil in disgust?

"I have to kiss… USA-CHAN!" Hunny exclaimed happily.

"HUH?" the group said, looking over at Mori, and indeed, at his feet sat Usa-chan, the adorable bunny rabbit of Hunny's. This made it so that the 'evil ray' of the wine bottle avoided Mori and went to Usa-chan instead. Haruhi raised an eyebrow. She concluded that the missing bunny rabbit must have been in Mori's possession this whole time and Hunny either didn't know it was gone or he had planned on this.

Haruhi still didn't know how to interpret Hunny's actions – cute, calculated or just weird?

She looked over at Mori, who was handing the bunny over to Hunny. Hugging it tightly, Hunny gave Usa-chan a big smack on the cheek and grinned happily. Mori, looking down at his short friend, smiled.

Haruhi shuddered. I don't think I want to know what else is Mori-senpai hiding…

"Takashi," Hunny said, setting his beloved stuffed rabbit aside. "It's your turn to spin the bottle!" He handed Mori the wine bottle that had spun out of the circle.

"Ah…" Placing the bottle in the centre of the circle, Mori tapped the bottle lightly with the palm of his hand. With such little force it barely made one rotation from its tip pointing at Hunny. The tip slowed to stop…

… right back at Mori.

Mori stared at the bottle blankly, as he did with so many other things. The rest of the group followed suit with a lack of comments to say, which Haruhi thought was a first, according to her memory. After a few moments of silence, Hikaru and Kaoru decided to bring up a question.

"Milord… how does Mori-senpai kiss HIMSELF on the cheek?" Hikaru began.

"It's not actually physically possible, is it?" Kaoru added, proving his point by trying to push his lips out and kiss his own right cheek. Tamaki stroked his chin as though he was in deep thought; however, in the presence of the rest of the Host Club it was a redundant gesture, as they knew Tamaki was only doing it to make himself look cool.

"Well… then he'd have to kiss some other body part of his!" Tamaki concluded, as though he had just made the greatest comment in history.

"Yeah, anyone could have deduced that," Hikaru pointed out dryly.

"Are you mocking me?" Tamaki asked accusingly, shooting daggers at Hikaru with his eyes.

"And what if I am?" was the arrogant reply.

A few moments later, the bickering had escalated to a whole new level, with Hikaru and Tamaki hurling insults at each other. With Kaoru, Hunny and Haruhi trying to calm them down, the circle threatened to dissolve into a mob. It wasn't exactly loud, but everyone could feel the tenseness in the air.

Mori cleared his throat.

Everyone looked to Mori – his rare utterances got the whole group's attention immediately. However, he didn't speak; he placed a finger to his lips and pointed to the door, which seemed to have opened while they argued. The insult on the tip of Tamaki's tongue died away instantly when he saw Kyoya at the door for the third time.

"I must say, Tamaki your last comment about Hikaru and his supposed sexual inclination was quite pathetic," the Host Club vice president said quite flippantly. "Must I ask you to be quiet again?" His glasses, currently blinding out his eyes from the light, gave his menacing tone some additional depth. "I hope you're not being too harassed, Haruhi," he added lightly to the girl.

"Uh…" Haruhi glanced over at Tamaki, who was shooting her his pleading gaze. As much as she wanted to kick them all out of her house, she didn't think that even Tamaki deserved to suffer under Kyoya's wrath. "No, I'm fine."

"As blatantly obvious as it is that you are merely trying to save Tamaki's skin," Kyoya said, making Haruhi flinch, "I'll trust your judgement. Tamaki already owes me anyways, I suppose…" He smiled slightly. "Who knows? This might turn out quite interestingly…"

The door shut again.

Haruhi found a bottle being thrust into her hands. She looked up to see Mori looking at her with his placid glance. She blinked, placing the bottle down onto the floor, which immediately caught Tamaki's undivided attention. This was the moment of truth, after all. He had endured kissing Kyoya on the cheek, being kissed by Hikaru on the cheek (and also unfairly tickled, he added) and suffered under the evil overlord's glare three times. This was what he had come to Haruhi's house for! His theatrical dreams would finally come true!

"Wait a second. When did you kiss yourself, Mori-senpai?" Haruhi asked.

Mori held up his finger, the finger he had put to his lips only a moment ago. Four other heads turned in their direction, blinking. Haruhi cocked her head, smacking her hand down when she finally got it. Everyone else looked at her.

"You kissed your FINGER, Mori-senpai?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked. Both turning to Tamaki, they said in unison, "Milord, there has to be a rule against that kind of thing."

"Uh…" Tamaki thought for a moment. He hadn't paid attention to the rest of the rules he had learned because he thought they were unimportant, so they merely slipped out of his mental capacity. "I can't seem to remember, so I guess we'll have to accept what Mori-senpai did," he said finally.

Although the twins still insisted it was cheap, Haruhi decided the debate was over. I might as well get this whole bottle thing over with… they'll be bothering me for ages after this "Okay, after we finish this game, I want you all out. I still have things to do today – I don't have the time to accommodate entertaining you as well."

"Very well," Tamaki gave in reluctantly. If he was going to get a kiss from Haruhi, it was for the better cause…

"Senpai… are you sure we should do this?" Haruhi asked. So close to Tamaki he could stroke her cheek, she turned her eyes away from him, blushing slightly. Tamaki reached, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes, tilting her head gently so their eyes met.

"In this game, we either do it or we don't," he breathed softly. "How about we go on?"

"But… what about everyone else? What if those girls found out? They adore you, but their love is misdirected…" Haruhi tried to wriggle out, but Tamaki kept his hold firm, bringing them closer. The girl gasped.

"At this moment, I'd do anything."

"Senpai…"

"Uh… senpai?"

Tamaki snapped out of his 'Inner Theatre' daze to see Haruhi shoot him a very wary glance. Looking around, he saw the rest of the group staring at him like he was mad (not that the fact hadn't already been previously established). Coughing slightly, he attempted to compose himself in order to get prepared for the gift he was about to receive…

"You know, milord, the bottle might not land on you," Kaoru shrewdly commented. The remark managed to send Tamaki back into the corner, but Haruhi dragged him out.

"Let's just get this over with, okay?" she said decisively. "And no jumping in front of the bottle or anything. That's just going to go completely out of control." Not to mention the fact that by the time you're done, my house will be in ruins. Well, at least they wouldn't have any place to come to, then.

Once Tamaki had settled down, Haruhi spun the bottle.

Everyone watched the bottle make rotations, holding their breaths as their eyes followed the shaped glass. Tamaki stared intently, dreaming up his own fantasies. Hunny looked over at the king, whose eyes had glazed over through his illusioning. He gestured to show Mori, who only shrugged.

The bottle began to slow down. Everyone but Haruhi began to lean in to see who it would land on. Eventually, it passed by the twins and Haruhi and stopped.

At Tamaki.

For a few moments, everyone stared in silence. Haruhi slowly began to whiten, realizing just how much of an ego boost this would give Tamaki and that if she went through with this, he'd be inflated for the rest of the week to come. Everyone else seemed to realize that as well, and Haruhi, the twins, Hunny and Mori all turned to Tamaki, who still didn't seem to fully understand the situation.

Finally, when it dawned on Tamaki that his 'Inner Theatre' desires would come true, he was ecstatic.

"YAHOO!"

He jumped up and down with his usual vibe, only multiplied tenfold – one could wonder just how much a commoner's floor could withstand. Tamaki turned to Haruhi with a practised look of charm.

"Come, Haruhi," he said, grabbing her hand.

"Uh… are you sure we should do this, senpai…?" Haruhi shot Tamaki a quizzical look, but it went right past him. Sighing, she resigned to her fate, deciding that she had made the mistake and might as well accept the consequences. Just as Haruhi was going to put her lips on the blond's cheek, Hunny tugged her sleeve.

"Haru-chan! Haru-chan!" Hunny cried.

"Huh?"

"… who dares interfere my moment with Haruhi…" Tamaki glared daggers at the group. Sadly, all of the others were unfazed.

"But milord," Hikaru started.

"The bottle's not pointing to you anymore," Kaoru finished. To prove their point, the twins pointed at the wine bottle.

Somehow, the bottle had shifted slightly away from Tamaki so that it now pointed…

… to one Morinozuka Takashi.

"Y-you moved it! You're trying to trick me!" Tamaki cried, pointing an accusative finger at the Hitachiin brothers. His face one of pure disappointment, Tamaki was determined to get down the bottom of the enigma. An inner gut feeling was telling him it was Mori's fault, but if he dared blame the senior, Hunny would unleash his 'Usa-chan Kick' on him, and the results would be gruesome.

"If we wanted that, we would have moved it to ourselves, milord," the twins replied nonchalantly, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "While you were excited and jumping around you shook the floor so much the bottle moved. We have honour, unlike you."

"It's all true, Tama-chan," Hunny said, nodding his head.

Mori only blinked.

Tamaki, face quivering, turned from the twins' smug grins to Mori's blank look, which he noted had the blankness up to a new level. As though he wanted to use his puppy eyes, Tamaki's eyes began to widen. But at the last moment, he gathered up his few remaining shreds of dignity and bowed.

"Please take care of my daughter, though I'm pretty sure you will," he said humbly.

"I AM NOT YOUR DAUGHTER!" Haruhi replied.

"So, Haruhi…" Hikaru said, leaning towards the trapped girl.

"You have to go through with the bottle's will," Kaoru said, eyes gleaming evilly. With a grand flourish, both Hitachiin twins gestured to the still blankly staring Mori. Shock often took a while with Mori if it didn't concern Hunny.

Haruhi sighed. She shuffled over to where Mori sat.

"Oh, Kyoya," Haruhi's father said as they continued to discuss Haruhi's current condition in school. "What are the others doing with Haruhi, anyway? They're being pretty loud…"

Kyoya looked up from a sheaf of papers he was glancing over.

"They're playing a game of 'spin the bottle' or something like that," he said offhandedly. "Now, where were we?"

But Ranka was far from caring about the goings-on of the Host Club now. His daughter's welfare was being put at stake! After 'that incident' and it was revealed that Haruhi's first kiss had been given away (to a girl at that!), he would not stand for that sad excuse for a president!

With firm resolve, he flung open the door to the second room and rushed to Haruhi's.

Still in the other room, Kyoya smiled.

Haruhi was so close to Mori she could have kissed him then and there when Ranka barged in.

"No, Haruhi!" he exclaimed furiously. Turning on Tamaki, he glared. "This is YOUR fault, isn't it?"

"But, but, but…" Tamaki whined. "It's not like I can rig the bottle or anything! I was being honest this time! Really!"

Haruhi had turned around, shifting slightly so she could see her father properly.

"No, really, dad," she began. "It's not – "

"Don't worry, Haruhi! Dad's here to save you!" He attempted to grab Haruhi's shirt, but accidentally tripped over Kaoru's foot, sending his hand smack into Haruhi's back. This caused her to fall over and on top of Mori, onto the floor, in a very compromising position. Most notable would be the fact that the two had their lips on the other's.

Tamaki, Ranka, the twins and Hunny all gasped in horror.

Didn't this seem familiar?

It was as though a sudden storm of unspoken emotions had descended upon the little group, causing silence to fall upon them, each person thinking his (and in Haruhi's case, her) own thoughts. Realizing she was still sprawled out on top of Mori's large frame, Haruhi quietly shrieked and jumped away, putting a hand to her mouth.

"Hooray for Haru-chan!" Hunny said in an attempt to lighten the mood, but it only made Tamaki and Ranka fly over to their 'daughter' and hover over her. The twins decided to migrate over to Mori and poke his unresponsive body, though Hunny could tell Mori's face was only the slightest shade redder.

"Haruhi! Haruhi! Are you all right?" Tamaki squealed.

"Who are you to talk?" Ranka said angrily, shoving Tamaki aside. "Oh, my daughter, how could they force you to play such a cruel, distasteful game?"

"I would have been fine if it weren't for you," Haruhi replied flatly, managing to regain her composure.

"But… I'm only trying to protect my daughter," her father replied sadly. "I didn't mean to… uh, to…" Just when it looked like things were going for the worse, who should save the day but Tamaki…

"I completely understand," he said with emotion. "Being her second father, my daughter's welfare also concerns me."

… with one of his trademark comments, anyways.

"You will never understand!" Ranka exclaimed.

As the two 'fathers' duked it out, Hikaru and Kaoru continued to prod the motionless Mori. Hunny had joined the cause, offering his loyal friend a piece of cake cure-all. Haruhi, after fully recovering from the shock, walked over (ignoring the 'who's Haruhi's daddy' war completely) and apologized profusely to Mori.

"… ah," was his slow reply.

Behind the wall, Kyoya was smiling slightly, jotting a few casual notes into his slim, black notebook. At first, he didn't know what to think of it, but the results had been most amusing. With a few tweaks here and there, this would most definitely be quite a profitable venture with the ladies.

He snapped his notebook shut with his left hand. Maybe leaving that book at Tamaki's house had been a good idea after all…

This was my first attempt to write an Ouran fanfiction. I hope that this wasn't too dull character-wise; my characterization tends to go completely out of control. Completely based on clichés from the series, I just pulled them together in some sort of mish-mash manner. In any case, I hoped you enjoyed this. If not, I'm sorry my writing sucks.

-EmbeRin