Disclaimer: Draiky The Great and Tucker's Mayflower do not own Sonic nor Shadow (WHYYYYY? D:), BUT we do own the...er...Well, you'll see later in this fanfic. We own the story idea and the "special surprises" that come packaged with this story (It weighs a quarter pound! D:). So, without further ado, here's your fanfiction, "A Love Affair Gone Wrong" (Generic Title, LOLZ.)
Note: Even IF you are not a Sonadow worshipper, PLEASE, for the love of Cheese, READ THIS ANYWAY:D It's techinically not a Sonadow, since Draiky The Great fears Sonadows (Believe us, she's cowering in the corner right now screaming), while Tucker's Mayflower is happily waving the flag of black and blue. In other words, don't flame us; This is a FALSE Sonadow, not a real one (Sorry for all you Sonadow lovers wanting to see Shadow and Sonic with the whipped cream in the bedroom).
The alarm went off for the thirteenth time in Shadow's bedroom. It was quite a surprise the black hedgehog hadn't used his Chaos Blast to destroy the clock at this time. If he did, it would've been a record of five-thousand and thirty-seven alarm clocks that were destroyed this week. One has to question why Rouge had to purchase him new ones, but we're getting beyond the point...The clocks do not involve with the plot whatsoever.
Shadow, however, was not in his bed at the time. He was in the restroom of Rouge's home (where he bummed around because he was too lazy to get his own house), throwing up and clinging to the already-dirty toilet (how it got dirty in less than thirty minutes of Shadow throwing up is beyond reason).
"Thank God Rouge isn't here to see what I did to her toilet..." Shadow groaned before throwing up for the umpteenth time in the past thirty minutes. It wasn't normal for Shadow to be sick (the last time he had gotten sick was because of the tainted food at the party Rouge had in her night-club within the past few days), and with Shadow being the Ultimate Life-Form, he figured if he was immortal, he would not be sick.
But here was the poor little hedgehog throwing up God-knows-what in the toilet. He wondered, If I don't eat, what the hell am I throwing up? The possibilies of what he was throwing up could be endless; vital body fluids, alcohol from that god-damned party, any trace of ammunition...
He remembered seeing Rouge sick before (and it wasn't a pretty sight), and realized that when Rouge was sick, she would go to the hospital in Station Square, and see what was wrong with her. Shadow had pondered the decision of going to the...hospital...he wondered what the hospital was like, since he had never been to one in his very long and immortal life.
Needless to say, no matter what horrors would occur in that god-forsaken hospital, Shadow figured it would be better than staying home, throwing up in Rouge's toilet all blessed day.
In a few attempts to get up off of the floor, Shadow clung to the ring of the toilet as he got up on his feet, popping the toilet lid off of the toilet.
"Damn cheap-ass slut..." Shadow muttered, throwing the lid out the window, the lid landing on an innocent old man's head and killing him.
---
"Mr. Shadow?"
"My last name is not Shadow."
"Mr. Hedgehog?"
"My last name is not Hedgehog."
"Mr. Ultimate Life-Form?"
"Much better."
Yes, Shadow did go to the hospital, the check-up being brutal. And now, Shadow was sitting on the icy-cold table, waiting for the results and finding out what the hell he had gotten.
ENTER SOAP OPERA SCENE.
The doctor came in, along with a nurse, with the results of Shadow's check-up in his hand. Their faces placed horror while Shadow's face placed impatience.
"Well?" Shadow questioned. "How is it? I don't have all day! I have a toilet to clean, a toilet seat to replace, and a dead old man to hide."
Nobody questioned about the 'dead old man to hide' statement. Besides, the results were far, far worse. The results were more horrifying than Eggman with a bad mustache day (he has no hair, so a 'bad hair day' is out of the question for the old fart).
"Well, Mr. Ultimate Life-Form..." The doctor said, in a very low, soap opera-like voice. "You might not like the results..."
"What's the worst thing that it could be?" Shadow asked, knowing death was out of the question (he's immortal, go figure).
The doctor became silent, and the nurse just ran out of the room screaming, informing the other doctors of Shadow's...'condition'.
HA! Shadow thought. What is it? Cancer? A deadly illness? A rare disease that'll turn me into Eggman?
"Congratulations, Mr. Ultimate Life-Form; you're pregnant!"
There were a number of things Shadow was expecting. This was NOT one of them. So obviously the look Shadow had on his face was a look of a few emotions; confusion, rage, and...well, mostly rage.
"I'm WHAT!?" Shadow retorted. "I'M A MALE, YOU DUMBASS!"
"...The test proves you're pregnant. Our computers are accurate."
"Accurate my ass! How can I be pregnant if I am NOT A GIRL?"
"It's possible in some rare cases...I'm sure you and your partner are very happy..."
"WHAT PARTNER? I HAVE NO PARTNER! I'M A LONER!"
"Well there HAS to be a partner. Nobody can be pregnant without a partner. If you'd like we can have a DNA test for you right now..."
Shadow took out an AK-47 and aimed it at the doctor's face. "DO. IT. NOW!"