Disclaiming, lawl.

Well hello all. :D I start school tomorrow. So yeah. Depressing much? I think so. XD.

Sorry about the wait as always. I really don't mean for it to take so long. I just don't write. XD. I mean, I do, but like, I don't. You know? Sort of? Well. That's what happens.

I'm listening to the Jonas Brothers' new album. I like it well enough. I'm not crazy in love with it though. I do like Burnin' Up though. It's really…I don't know, the image of "burning up" for someone just makes me applaud their creativity. So I will concede my irrational hatred of all things Jonas. I do wish they were publicized less, but next to Hannah Montana, I don't think it's that much.

XD.

Cheers all.

When you cried, you had my urge to hold you.

--

"Don't start, Black," Lily warned immediately as she stepped through the portrait hole. Sirius opened his mouth in protest, ignoring the fact that yes, he had been about to start. James smirked at him, then turned his smirk on Lily as well. It faltered for a second when he saw that she hadn't stayed for Sirius's retort, but recovered well enough.

"Evans! Hey! Hey, Evans!" James called, grinning, as she turned to face him.

"Is there something you want, Potter, or can I go up to my dorm without you shouting the tower down for me?" Lily said, frowning at him.

"I don't know," James drawled. "I think you should stay and verbally abuse Sirius s'more. He gets off on it, you see." Sirius snorted.

"Oh, is that what we're calling it, now?" he asked, lifting his quill from his parchment. "Because if that's what's going on, then I also get off on Remus lecturing me about the proper usage of commas."

"I think the key phrase there was, 'I get off on Remus.'" James replied, still grinning.

"Well that explains my undivided attention whenever he speaks." Sirius said sarcastically, referring to the fact that whenever Remus said something logical that didn't ultimately make fun of someone other than Sirius himself, it bounced off his head and floated away. The words don't even reach the inside of his head before they're running away in terror.

James laughed loudly. "Padfoot, mate, if you paid any less attention to Remus when he spoke, I think you might just be in another country!" and he glanced at Lily to see if she was enjoying their little banter.

"The ending on that one was a little weak, Prongs," Sirius said critically. "Good try though."

But James wasn't listening. He was looking at Lily. Which of itself wasn't unusual, but the way she looked certainly was. Her face looked different, somehow, but he wasn't sure.

"Evans?" he asked quietly. She lifted her eyes to meet his and he was surprised by the lack of expression her eyes provided. Normally, her eyebrows were furrowed in anger and her face scrunched up and her teeth bared. At that moment, her face revealed nothing of her emotions and that was very different for her.

"What, Potter?" her voice was tired. No, tired isn't quite the right word. Weary, maybe? Maybe weary.

"Um," he said. James shot a look to Sirius, to see if he was going to be of any help, but he was raising an eyebrow in James's direction as well.

"Can I go, or what?" Lily asked after a few seconds of silence. "Or am I going to be hailed through the walls again?"

"One time," Sirius began angrily, "one time I yell for you to come down and see what was going on because it was bleeding exciting, okay, I just wanted you to share the experience!"

James rolled his eyes. "

One time," Lily repeated incredulously. "Okay, yeah, it was one actual event, but you called like twenty times in that 'one time'!"

"It was important!" he argued.

"You showed me your shoe fungus." She said flatly. "Because that's just the very definition of important."

"Yes, as a matter of fact, it is."

"Charming little argument, really," James said. "but I actually do have something important to say, if anyone's interested."

"What would you do if we said we weren't?" Sirius asked curiously, completely over the importance of the fungus that grew on his shoe.

James blinked. It hadn't even occurred to him that nobody would be interested in what he had to say.

"That didn't even occur to you, did it?" Sirius said, highly amused.

"What?" James said, inwardly cursing his best friend's ability to read him so well. "Of course it did…"

"Potter!" Lily snapped. "Get to the point!"

"PMSing, are you?" Sirius sounded knowledgeable about this. James hoped he didn't start to offer tips on how to get rid of the symptoms.

"No," Lily growled. James wasn't sure if was a yes-no or a no-no.

"Well, if it's cramps that are making you irritable, then you should just take some –"

"Sirius!" James interrupted, scandalized. "No one wants to know your supposed little PMS home remedies, thanks."

"Potter…" Lily moaned, holding her head in her hands. Sirius and James stopped dead in their tracks and stared at her. They glanced at each other, sharing a thought. James privately wondered if she knew how sexual that sounded. He decided she didn't, and cleared his throat nervously.

"What did you have to say that was so important?" Lily near-shouted.

"Oh." James then remembered that there was something he was going to say. "Um," he said again.

Sirius laughed. Lily always looked surprised whenever Sirius laughs because, despite how many times she's heard it, she's never gotten used to hearing such a dog-like sound coming out of a person.

"Fine, you know what, if you think of it, shout," Lily said, rolling her eyes sarcastically. Sirius smirked, chuckling.

"Will do, Silly Lily," Sirius chirped. Lily made a face at him and stomped up to her dorm. When she was out of range, Sirius said seriously, "You saw it too?"

"The way her face looked really weird before we started talking to her?" James asked, sitting down near his best mate.

"Yeah. I wasn't sure what that was all about, but then I recognized that face." James looked at him quizzically.

"What d'you mean?"

"On my brother." Sirius sighed.

"Lily looked like a pureblooded snob?" James questioned, lips quirking a bit.

"And on me." He finished. "It was right after we went home for Christmas, third year. Remember how much I was dreading it?"

"Yeah," James remembered. "Why'd you even go, anyway? My parents wouldn't've minded if you mysteriously found your way into my trunk and equally mysteriously smuggled into the house."

"Yeah, but d'you remember how I said I had to go home?" Sirius continued.

"Yeah…"

"Well, it was because me and Regulus's uncle had died, and he was really upset over it. I don't know why, though, because Uncle Alphard and him weren't really close. He was one of the only people in my family I even sort of liked."

"Wait, that's why you went home?" James said. "Why didn't you ever tell us?"

"Um," Sirius said, a light flush creeping up his neck. "I might've sort of told Remus."

"Correction," James said, eyebrows raised and trying to hide the hurt he felt at that, "why didn't you ever tell me? Or Peter?"

"It, uh, never came up." Sirius shrugged, the flush still there. "But, that's not the point. The point is, I recognize the look on Evans's face from my own during that time. I looked that way every time I looked into a mirror. And I saw that look every time I looked at Regulus for the first couple of days."

"So someone close to her died?" James clarified.

"I really think so." Sirius agreed.

"What should we do, then?" James asked, not really asking Sirius. Sirius sighed.

"I'm not sure. Evans wouldn't even banter with us. That's really what kept me going when we got back. The normalcy of everything."

"I think that's what she wants too, otherwise she would have told someone, wouldn't she have?" James asked.

"We don't know she didn't, do we? Maybe she told Mary."

"Why wouldn't she tell us, then?"

"She who?" Remus inquired, walking up to them. James jumped, not having seen him due to his back being to the portrait hole.

"Where'd you come from, Moony?" James asked curiously.

"Library. What were you guys talking about?"

"Evans," Sirius jumped in. "What else?"

"What about Evans?" Remus said, taking a seat near them and setting his book down. "

We think someone close to her died," James said. "Do you know anything?"

"Yes," Remus said dryly. "But about this in particular? Nope. What made you think someone died?"

"She looked like I did when Uncle Alphard died." Sirius explained. Remus shot a glance at James furtively, but James caught it and narrowed his eyes pointedly. "I told him," Sirius added.

"Any idea on who it might be?" Remus asked.

"Shouldn't that be 'whom'?" Sirius asked, catching Remus off guard.

"What?"

"Isn't 'on' a preposition?"

Remus and James looked at him in astonishment.

"Well, yes…but," Remus began, flustered, "but because I didn't mean literally on someone it doesn't count."

"Oh, okay," Sirius accepted.

"I was lying," Remus said, rolling his eyes, smiling slightly. "I don't actually know if that's true or not. But good catch on the grammar. Which is embarrassing…" Remus muttered under his breath.

"We could…ask Evans, who it was, couldn't we?"

"I thought we agreed on normalcy?" Sirius reminded.

"How am I supposed to treat her normally when all I want to do is feed her pudding?" James said, frustrated.

There was a pause.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" Sirius asked, eyes wide and looking like he was about to break into laughter at any given moment.

"What?" James asked.

"Did you just say you wanted to feed her pudding?" Remus contributed, also looking like he was about to burst into laughter.

"What? No."

"Yes, you did!" Sirius said at once. "You said you just want to feed her pudding!"

"Why on earth would I do that?" James said, rubbing the back of his neck and chuckling nervously.

"James," Remus said, seemingly fed up. "You love her."

Now it was Remus who got the weird looks.

"I say I want to feed her pudding and you say that means I'm in love with her?"

Remus smirking, James reflected later, was a very scary sight.

"I said you love her. Not that you're in love with her."

Sirius got where this was going.

"Why would you instantly assume that Moony here meant you were in love with Evans?" he asked deviously.

"Because that's the first thing people think of when someone says the word love!" James defended.

"Oh really?" Remus asked. "So if I said I loved my mum, the first thing you would think of would be that I'm in love with my mum?"

James tried to cover his laughter out of respect for his friend.

"Um, you know what?" came a voice. "I think I'll just go to the library later." And Lily turned tail and ran right back up the stairs.

The three boys broke into laughter, finally.

"That was classic." Sirius said with satisfaction.

"Oh yeah." James agreed. "But seriously, how do I act normal?"

"Good question." Remus interrupted, grinning. Sirius smirked and James sulked.

"Jamie my boy, no one knows how you're supposed to act normal. Especially around Evans."

"What does that even mean?" James demanded.

"It means that you are in love with her." Remus repeated. "Get over it."

Sirius laughed, that barking cackle of his, while James looked flabbergasted.

"Did you just…?"

"Yes," Remus said flatly. "I did."

"You can't do that!" James said.

"Well, I did."

"But you can't do that!"

"Wait, why not?" Sirius broke in.

"Because!" James said.

"Great reason." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"But – !"

He saw Lily coming down again, and Remus saw it too, this time.

"I'm going upstairs." Remus said suddenly. "Sirius, come with me. I'm afraid to go by myself since that thing attacked my feet this morning."

"What?" Sirius said, confused. He looked over Remus's shoulder and understanding dawned on him. "Don't diss Ralph," he complained. "He's a really good pet!"

"Not when he attacks me in that disaster zone you call our room." Remus countered.

"You call it our room too, you know," Sirius said. Remus, used to Sirius honing in on one part of his statement, didn't bat an eye at this seemingly random subject change.

"Well, if there was a way I could get a different room, I would take it in a heartbeat."

"Ralph would be very hurt to hear that, Remus." Sirius said. "Besides, what if it's with Snape or something? Do you really want to chance something like that?"

"Better than being mauled by some creature you accidentally created." James couldn't hear anymore of their conversation. And frankly, he wasn't sure he wanted to hear anymore of it.

Normalcy, he thought intently.

"Hey, Evans," he said lamely.

"Hey, Potter," she said in a small voice.

"You all right?" he asked. Lily didn't meet his eyes, and turned away from him.

"No." she said honestly.

"What happened?"

"My – my dad died a couple days ago. I just found out a couple of hours ago." She replied, swallowing.

There was a silence that was becoming sadly familiar to James that day as he thought wildly for something to say.

"How'd he, um," James didn't know how to say this with taste.

"Car accident," Lily replied shortly, getting the gist of what he'd asked.

"Oh."

"Yeah." She still had that same expressionless face on.

"I'm really sorry." James said, eyes and words sincere. When she smiled a little at him, it was watery and small, but he took it as it was.

"Thanks. I – really miss him." She said, sitting down next to him. "It doesn't even make sense because I wouldn't have seen him any time soon anyway. But just knowing – knowing that he isn't going to be waiting for me at the Platform in June…." She blinked rapidly.

"You can cry if you want," James offered in the small voice she had used, not knowing how to deal with this. Lily let out a choked laugh.

"I don't want to cry!" she said, tears falling down her face. "I want to be – be brave and strong, and if I cry, I'm not."

"I hope you weren't expecting me to agree with you, because I don't, and I'm not going to pretend to." James said frankly.

"W-what?"

"That's a load of crap. Not your feelings," he clarified quickly, "but that if you don't show your emotions, or even feel them, that it makes you brave and strong. I may not be the best example of this, but it's perfectly fine to grieve." James said fiercely.

At that, the tears just fell right out of her eyes. For a while, it was sort of like she wasn't even crying, the tears just coming out while she just stared at him. But soon enough, she crumpled into heart-wrenching sobs.

All he wanted to do was hug her – pudding wouldn't have helping in this case; she probably would've just not eaten it, anyway – so he did.

And he didn't let go until she stopped crying, a long time later. And neither did she.

Third chapter, yay! Let's hope for number four (last) soon, soon, soon!

Ok, I definitely think this is the best one. xD.

:D

Review, hey?

Cheers all (again). :D