Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Crossing Jordan.

A/N: I'm sorry this is taking me so long. I hate when real life intervenes. I'll try and update my other stories soon as well, but the next couple of weeks don't look very promising.

Wasted Time

Chapter 3 – Detachment

Jordan arrived at the hospital and put the car into park. She pictured the many times that she had done this before. She remembered the first time she had come to see him, after returning to Boston. She remembered the feeling of loss in the pit of her stomach, as Dr. Winters described Garret's condition. She remembered the strong scent of cleaner that permeated the air. She remembered the feeling of Garret's cold, clammy hand that she held while she sobbed over his unconscious body. Deep down, she had felt as one would when they lose their father. She had visited him every day for weeks, hoping for a change. After two months, her visits became less frequent. She had thrown herself back into work, much to Woody's chagrin. Work filled the void of her loss until the birth of her daughter. Then parenting became her escape. Now she had him back and she vowed she would never take him for granted again.

She pulled the keys from the ignition and tossed them into her purse before climbing out of the vehicle. She stared at the hospital that loomed before her. She had loathed this place over the last two years. The smell of it made her nauseous. She hoped Garret wouldn't have to stay too long.

She pushed open Garret's door and was met with one of his gentle smiles. "How are you feeling?" she asked delicately.

"Much better. The food here sucks, but I can't complain. I'm awake aren't I?"

"You are and I couldn't be happier," she said as she sat down beside him.

The silence that ensued was deafening. She reached out and touched his arm. "So, tell me more about this daughter of yours," he said gently, as an attempt to break the silence.

"Well she is eighteen months old. Her favourite activity is throwing her food on the floor. She loves taking baths, especially trying to see how wet she can get Mommy and Daddy. Her favourite food is cheese. She absolutely adores Nigel and is in love with baby Matthew."

Garret's smile lit up the room. It had been too long. Tears burned her eyes. She never wanted to leave him again. "She sounds wonderful."

"She is. She makes my life feel complete."

"Why don't you go home to her?"

"I will, but I wanted to spend some time with you while you're stuck in here."

"Your daughter needs you."

"So do you."

"I'll be okay. I'm not going anywhere," he said.

Jordan nodded, as tears poured down her cheeks. "I'm so glad you're back."

"Me too," he said gently. She leaned down and kissed his forehead. Then stood up and left the room, with a gentle wave.

Garret watched Jordan disappear behind the closed door. He tried to imagine what her little girl was like. He imagined a child born between Woody and Jordan was probably very stubborn and feisty, just like her parents. That thought put a smile on his face.

XXXXX

Jordan arrived home and opened the door. Woody was in the kitchen with Jenna. "Hey Jo, where were you?"

"I stopped off to see Garret before coming home."

"Mommy…" Jenna squealed as she raced over to jump into her mother's arms.

"Hi Jenna, were you a good girl today?"

Jenna wriggled with excitement as Jordan set her back down on the floor. "Bath?"

"I think a bath sounds like a good idea," Jordan agreed, as she carried her daughter into the bathroom and started running the water. "Guess where we're going tomorrow?"

Jenna looked at her. "We're going to visit Grandpa Garret!"

"Sleeping…" Jenna whispered, as she gently touched her finger to her lips, to signal everyone to be quiet.

"No honey, he woke up. Grandpa Garret's awake."

Jenna considered this for a moment. She looked at her mother with curiousity. "Go visit…." Jenna exclaimed, as she raced to get her jacket from the little coat hanger by the door.

"Tomorrow, not tonight," Jordan said gently. She extricated the coat from her daughter's hands. "It's time for your bath."

XXXXX

Renee poured herself a glass of wine, while she flipped through her magazine. Her attention could not remain focused on the words. Her mind had drifted to thoughts of Garret.

When she had heard about his condition, she had not been able to stop her mind from replaying all of her memories of their relationship. She could remember the feel of his skin against hers, the taste of his kiss, the smell of his cologne mixed with cigars and scotch, and the way his touch was so delicate for such a gruff man. Then her mind would take her to when it all ended, because she had spent the night with her ex and they had a child. There was only one problem with that. Renee had never actually had a DNA test conducted. She did not know the paternity of her child. Something she had never forgiven herself for. Now she was left with a very tough decision; should she test it now and find out the truth, or let it go and continue to raise her son alone?

Now that Garret was awake, she felt it was time to tell him the truth, but she didn't know how. Her head started to pound and she closed her eyes to reduce the pain.

"Mommy," a little voice whispered into the barely lit living room.

"Yes honey," she said, as she stood up and went to him.

"I can't sleep," he explained innocently.

"Well, I think I can help you with that." She took his little hand in hers and led him back to his racecar bed. She switched the light on by his bed and lifted one of his favourite books into her hands.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" he asked, as he looked at his mother's face under the pale light.

"Mommy is just tired sweetheart," Renee explained, before opening the book and reading the story. She had barely reached the fifth page when she noticed he was peacefully back asleep. She wished it were only that easy for her to sleep as well.

She returned to her glass of wine and magazine. She made an attempt to read again and then with frustration tossed the magazine across the room. She felt the tension that built up in her body release with heavy sobs. She curled up on the couch and let herself cry for everything that was happening around her and everything that she could not control.

XXXXX

Jordan had showered after putting Jenna to sleep, while Woody had done the dishes. Then together they had sat down to watch some television. Woody had wanted to ask Jordan how she was feeling, but for some reason he sensed that she wasn't ready to talk about it.

When their programs had ended for the night, Jordan told Woody she was tired. He felt a distance between them that had not been there since they had gotten married. He knew that Garret was a huge part of her life and losing him had almost been her breaking point. He also knew that his recovery would consume her, just like losing him had, and it concerned him. He was afraid all of Jordan's guilt would resurface and he would lose her again.

He entered their room and saw her lying under the heavy duvet. She looked so small in their king sized bed. He peeled off his jeans and climbed in next to her. He was surprised when she didn't curl up against him, something she did every night when they went to bed.

XXXXX

The sunlight permeated through the curtains, as Jenna's cries filled Jordan and Woody's bedroom. Jordan jumped out of the bed, grabbed her housecoat and raced to her daughter's room. Woody watched her leave, then slowly climbed out of the bed and went downstairs to start the coffee and breakfast.

Woody smiled as Jenna bounded into the room and threw herself into his waiting arms. "Morning Jenna," he whispered, as he placed a tender kiss on the top of her head.

Jordan poured herself a cup of coffee and kissed Woody on the cheek. It was small gesture, but it made him feel a small bit closer to her.

He placed their daughter into her high chair and they ate their breakfast together as a family. It was one of the last few times they would be eating together as one for a long time, though at that point, Woody was unaware of what was to come.

XXXXX

Garret opened his eyes to his sterile room. The sunlight glistened against the pristine white walls and began to gave him a headache. He groaned and closed his eyes again.

"Morning Dr. Macy," a nurse said pleasantly as she entered his room.

He opened his eyes and gave her a forced smile, instead of grumbling like he wanted to. She checked his IV bags and vitals. Then she turned her attention back to him. "Dr. Spencer would like to start your physical therapy tomorrow," she explained.

"When will I be released?" he demanded.

"I don't know," she said. "You're going to be leaving the ICU today."

"Excellent," he grumbled; wishing he could leave the confines of the hospital. He was already bored and he wanted to catch up on the life he had missed over the last two years.

The nurse slipped quietly from the room and he was alone again, to stew about being stuck there.

He heard someone knock tentatively on his door and told them to come in. Renee stood on the other side. She smiled at him as she came inside.

"Morning," he said gruffly.

"You're chipper this morning," she teased.

"I'm bored," he grumbled.

"Well you won't be here much longer," she promised.

"Hopefully not. I am supposed to start physical therapy tomorrow," he explained.

"That's great," she exclaimed, with an excitement he hadn't seen from Renee Walcott in a long time. He wondered what the last two years had been like for her. He pondered if she visited with her child ever; if she missed him so much she felt her heart break. He knew it wasn't fair to wish for these things, but he couldn't help it. He had never stopped caring about her, no matter how angry he'd been.

"It's going to hurt like hell. I have been lying here for two years."

"Well it will be worth it to get your life back," she said with her cheerful positive attitude.

"I don't remember you being such an optimist," Garret said wearily.

"Well after watching you sleep for two years, hearing that it was unlikely you would ever wake up, I suddenly feel positive when I can look into your eyes again." He smiled genuinely for the first time that morning. "I have to head to work, but I'll stop by again later," Renee promised.

"Renee, thank you for coming and caring that I woke up."

She turned to look at him, her facial expression contorted into one of sheer disbelief. "Why wouldn't I care?"

"I just figured with our past…" he tried to explain, his hands spinning in wild circles.

"I never stopped caring about you. You mean a lot to me," she whispered, before slipping from the room and brushing away her silent tears.

XXXXX

Jordan spent most of the day watching the time click by on her wall clock. She had performed two very boring autopsy's and then was told she would not be doing fieldwork until she finished her paperwork. She glared at the mountain of files that littered her desk. Her mind would not stay focused on her work. She was still thinking about Garret and introducing him to her daughter.

On her lunch break, Jordan had gone with Lily to a small deli down the road.

"How is Matthew?" Jordan asked, as an attempt to make conversation.

"He's fine," Lily said gently. "I wish he would sleep a little more."

"He'll get better," Jordan offered.

"When Jenna was six months, did you and Woody feel at a distance from one another?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did he avoid you?"

Jordan shook her head, as she thought back to when her daughter was six months. Her and Woody were definitely close at that time. Their daughter was sleeping a lot better and they had really begun to reignite the passion in their relationship. Jordan blushed, as Lily waited for her answer. "It will get better when Matthew starts sleeping more."

"Jordan I feel like he doesn't want me anymore."

"Lily, that is not it. Matt loves you, and Matthew. He would not turn his back on you now."

"I'm not so sure. Jordan, we haven't been together since I was pregnant."

Jordan contemplated this piece of information for a few moments. "Well maybe he's afraid that if he tries that you will feel he is pressuring you."

Lily dropped her gaze to her plate of food. "I feel so isolated."

"Why don't you tell him how you feel?"

"You know how Matt is. Talking about our feelings has never been his strong suit."

"I also know that he loves you and wants to make you happy. Just talk to him. Let him know that you miss him."

Lily nodded her head. "Thank you Jordan. It feels good to have adult conversations again."

"You're welcome."

Jordan smiled at her friend and then her mind slipped back to thoughts of Garret. They had returned to work and Jordan had returned to the mountain of files that she pretended to be focusing on. She could not wait for her shift to be over and to see Garret's expression when he saw Jenna for the first time.