DON'T BELIEVE IT! A mini Series
Note from the author
Hello readers, and welcome to my story, this story is a mini series based off of my other Naruto story called Don't Believe it (duh). If you haven't read that story, you can still read this (I recommend you read the other fanfic first, or at least chapter 30 of it…). If you ignored what I just wrote, I'll explain the situation. Tobi wants to join Akasuki, but they hate him and don't want him to join. To get rid of him, they send him on a fools errand with undoable tasks. Seeing how unfair Akasuki was to him, Haku decided to join him on is little quest (Yeah, Hakus still alive). This is his story, as told through a travel Log! This is a tale of two Men, and a bunch of moogles (if you don't know what a moogle is, get off your computer, and play final fantasy 7-10 right now).
Anyway, Enjoy
Chapter one
The quest begins….
Day one
As written by-Tobi
Food supply-fine
Morale-great
Number of people-Me, the girly guy, and those winged rats
Arrgh, this has been a long day. It all started early this morning, I was at the Akasuki HQ cause they wanted me to wait for a 'special request'. Suddenly, the blind guy comes out of the meeting room, stumbles down some stairs, crashes into a wall, gets up, and gives the houseplant a list. After I went over, and told him I was the person he wanted. Apparently, they've sent me on this here quest to complete these tasks, saying that if I do them, I am a powerful enough ninja to join Akasuki.
The whole thing stank….
This had happened once before, they had sent me to the store, to go get elbow grease and headlight fluid. That sucked ass…
The list of objectives are shown here…..
1) Find if there's a connection between Sergeant Pepper from the song, and Dr Pepper, the drink
2) Find Mr. Goodbar
3) Make a remake of The lord of the rings, with Moogles as the good guys, and Squirrels as Orcs
4) Get the next Final Fantasy game, and reprogram it so all characters are moogles
5) Go on a date with Ino, and find out why everyone hates her
6) get an advance copy of the next Harry Potter book
The worst part of this list is that on the very bottom of the list, they put something in fine print. I guess they didn't expect me to check for it, but I did (when you live with Akasuki, you pick up a few things). According to the fine print, the objects on the list can be added on, or altered, at any given time. I'm getting the vibe they don't want me to join.
They must still remember the time I put laxatives in the chili on chili Tuesdays….
For 3 weeks straight.
Good times.
Serves them right for makng me cook
So anyway, Its about 11pm right now, and the first day of the journey is over. I ran into Haku earlier and he decided to join me, along with his horde of winged rats (he calls them Moogles). I'm glad theres SOMEONE in the world that cares about me, but, I've gotta say, that kid is soooo Fking goodie goodie its going to make me choke. Seriously, if he gets any Sugarier, hes going to give me diabetes.
The whole damn day, while we were on the road, he kept singing that same song by Rascal flats, life is a highway….
I HATE THAT SONG NOW!!!
The moogles joined in too…
Why the hell can those things only say Kupo? I thought they could speak English.
Arrgh…
I hate life…..
Day Two
As Written by- Haku
Food supply- Kupo nuts aplenty!
Morale- Super cool
Distance traveled- 34 miles
Number of people- Me, Tobi, Mogers, Mogey, Mogev, MogMegan, Kupo, Kumo, Mogbert, and MogMatt
Dear Mr. Journal
Hiya! I'm Haku, and I'm doing my first entry in the logbook!
The goings been pretty slow today, since nethier of us have a car, or a map, or any idea where to go, its been making traveling pretty hard. But we must press on! We must fulfill all the items on Tobis list so he can become an Akasuki, and we must stop by New York so we can see broadway
God I love broadway…
Maybe I'll get to see RENT….
Anyway, Tobis been pretty sullen about this journey, Its like he has a case of the poor mes…
You know, I didn't tell anyone that I left town, I didn't bring any of my clothes, or money, or equipment, and theres only one toothbrush to share among two ninjas and 8 moogles…
Yeah, kinda gross
Were going to need to get some toiletries…
But Nonetheless, I'm still pretty committed to this journey! And to prove it, I'm going to start to sing aloud!
"Life is a highway! I wanna ride it all night long! If your going my way, I wanna drive it all night long!"
Hey look! Here comes Tobi right now! Maybe he wants to sing with me….
Day three
As Written by-Tobi
Food Supply- theres no such thing as too much instant noodles
Morale- I'm going to Kill myself if he sings that song one more time….
Distance traveled- 62 miles
Money supply- $780
I cant believe I decided to go on this thing….
I cant believe I let Haku come along…
I cant believe its not butter….
Today, along the road, we ran into this really weird guy. He was this tall guy, from the mist village something-or-other, he had some bandages covering his mouth, and this huge Ass sword (like, Cloud Strife big). He was weird, and the weirdest part about him was…
HE HAD NO EYEBROWS!!!
Wow, that makes the third time in my life I met someone without eyebrows. The first person I met without them was the creepy sand kid who has the crush on the workaholic…The second person is Deidra
That's right, Deidra has no eyebrows
When Itachi went blind, he kept setting stuff in the manor on fire, thinking it was Sasuke. Deidra was reading Fullmetal alchemist in his room and fell over, and his head hit the wall. Deidra was rubbing his head, and doing some swearing, and Itachi comes out of no where, and freakin Incinerates Deidras head.
Deidra was fine, the burns healed and his hair grew back
But the eyebrows never did
It's a mystery of life.
He wears fake eyebrows now, we made them out of Hidans back hair. We never told Deidra that.
I love pulling pranks on that guy.
Oh, I got off subject, lets see, oh yeah, the weird guys name was Zabuza. Get this, the guy sees Haku, picks him up, and tries to run off with him.
I should've let him take him,,,,
But I couldn't, cause Haku had my wallet…..
Damn it, It was a morale decision, let the guy run off with my Friend (and Money) or rescue the annoying kid…
The moogles made the decision for me.
The little guys surround Zabuza, and out of no where, they start pulling out weapons. I'm not talking little fake ones ethier, real weapons…
One of them had a Katana, one of them had a warhammer, one of them had a Scythe, 2 of them had Ak-47s, and the other ones had hand grenades (where the hell did they get those?)
They beat the crap out of the kidnapper….
Haku was fine, but the kid called the ambulance for his kidnapper
I don't get that kid…
He'd be a great guy if he wasn't so darn weird….
Wait, is Haku even a guy?
Day 4
As written by, Haku
Food supply, I don't like Shrimp Ramen……
Morale, as long as theres moogles, its cool
You know, even though weve been out on this journey a week, it seems like things will never get old. But that brought up a question I had today. We HAVE been traveling for a week, but my question is……Where the hell are we going?
I asked Tobi that, he stopped, looked at me, and said He thought I knew
Wow, really bad communication there.
So, me, him, and the moogles sat down in a pow wow and thought up a plan.
Guess where were going first?
JAPAN!
I hear that they have lotsa great stuff there. The ramens cheap, the Mangas and videogames come out months/years in advance (darn you Final Fantasy XII!). They also have vertical golf ranges and vending machines that sell used schoolgirl panties.
I wonder why….
What is it with Japan and Schoolgirls?
Welll anyway, were going to Japan to steal the beta data for final fantasy XII and XII and reprogram it so all the main characters are moogles. In my humble opinon, that….is…..THE GREATEST IDEA OF ALL TIME!!! Then again, I've never played a Final Fantasy game, all I know is that they're really formulaic, and Kakashi-Sensei really loves them. Hmmmm, Why is it called Final Fantasy if they keep making more of them? I've gotta ask Tobi that…
Day 5
As written by-Tobi
Foody Supply-the moogles ate all the noodles…..
Morale- blue sky
Distance traveled- 98 miles
Distance to go- maybe 5300 miles
Those Moogles sure do eat a lot. When I left on this journey, I packed enough ramen to last me till summer. Those moogles polished it off in 5 days.
That was fast….
Secondly, today Haku asked me why its called 'Final Fantasy' if they keep making more of them. I had the simple answer. Its called that because 1) they ran out of ideas, or 2) they want the game series to sound like a porn series, or 3) the creator made the first one with the intention of never making another one, but then made more anyway.
Personally, I think its number 2.
Anyway, I'm finally starting to get used to Haku. Once I convinced him to stop singing that stupid song, we've been getting along splendidly. We can actually talk while were on the road now. I learned some interesting things today. Like for example, you know that moogle that Kiba hangs out with all the time? It can speak English. I didn't know those winged rats could talk. Apparently one of the moogles with us can speak English too. I think its MogMatt.
I told Haku whats its like to live with Akasuki. He seemed kinda disappointed when I told him it wasn't like a yaoi (he got kinda depressed). So I told him about one of my many days of living there, I'll write what happened here.
Tobi's tales of Akasuki
It was a little bit after I started living there. I was the lowly rank of Zetsus assistant, or the swabbie. My days were filled with doing menial household chores and cooking food (that stopped after the Chili incident).
So I was collecting their dirty laundry, and I had just left Itachis room, and heard a strange noise coming from Kisames room. I walked over there, and the door was slightly ajar. I peeked in there and saw quite a sight. Kisame was inside, with Abba playing on his stereo, and he was singing and dancing to it. Kisame, the demon shark of Akasuki, one of the seven swordsmen of the mist, was dancing to Abba.
Quite a sight.
He was dancing to Mama mia, then when it stopped, he started dancing to dancing queen. I caught that one on tape.
I sent that in to Funniest Home videos and won first prize.
Life can be good sometimes…
Haku thought this was a bit cruel, but I thought it was freakin hilarious. That kid wouldn't know funny if it bit him on the kupo.
Wait, did I say kupo?
Maybe those winged rats are getting to me.
Well, we are low on food, I wonder what one might taste like……
Day 6
As Written by- MogMatt
Food supply-kupo
Morale-kupo
Distance traveled-kupo
Distance to go-kupopo!
The true meaning of like-Ku kupopo po kupo!
Kupo! Kupo kupo ku ku, po kupo kupo kupo! Kupopopo! Kupo pop o Ku…..
Kupo kupo…..
Kupoppop! Kupopo ku.
Kupo po ku.
Kupo ko po Kupo No Jutsu Kupo Kupo Kupo!
Day 7
As written by-Tobi
Food supply-Fresh out
Morale-higher than the food supply
Distance traveled-130 miles maybe
Distance to go-don't wanna know…
One of those little hairballs got into my journal. Its bad enough the fruity kid keeps writing in here, I looked at what the moogle wrote, and I've gotta ask HOW THE HELL DO THOSE THINGS COMMUNICATE? ITS ALL THE SAME WORD REPEATED? Seriously, its all the same, kupo, and other forms of the same exact letters.
How the hell do they communicate?
Its like they're pokemon and all they can say is their own name over and over.
Wait, I did not just write that.
I AM TOBI! I WILL BECOME AN ELITE NINJA ASSASSAIN AND BECOME A MEMBER OF AKASUKI! I can't be associated with a freakin pokemon, noooooo!
Hey, I know, I'll erase that.
Oh crud, I chose a bad time to write in pen….
Good god, I hope this thing doesn't get published…..
Tobi was walking along the road and writing at the same time. He was trying to scribble out the aforementioned incriminating evidence when suddenly, one of the moogles (monev) swooped out of nowhere and took the journal right out of his hands.
"you stupid Pokemon! come back with my journal!" he yelled, giving chase
The moogle flew on ahead, pass Haku, who was busy talking to the female moogles about their Nail polish brands. Tobi went right by, yelling cuss words that would set paper on fire.
"NO! Tobi! Don't hut the little guy!" Haku yelled, running after Tobi
The other moogles started to fly after Haku, chasing Tobi, chasing Monev.
Tobi started to gain on Monev, put on a burst of speed, and dived at him. Tobi completely and utterly missed, but knocked over a teenager and his friend.
"OW! What the hell was that for, you mask wearing bastard" the kid said
"None of your business punk!" yelled Tobi
"maybe it is! You orange-tard" he responded
"bite me, you little rat"
"go to hell you sissy"
"I'll send you there with me you ass ninja"
Tobi suddenly remembered that he was after Monev, he looked left and right, the moogle had vanished.
"NOOO!!!" yelled Tobi, falling onto his knees, "why do you mock me god??? WHY!!!???"
Suddenly, Haku and the others caught up to Tobi.
"Hey Tobi, whos this guy?" he asked, pointing at the kid "and whos that person" he continued, pointing at his friend
"I" said the boy, quite indignantly "Am Obito, and this, is my friend Rin"
"Pleased to meet you" said Rin
"likewise" said Haku politely "hey Tobi" he said, looking at Tobi on the ground, who was cursing out Monev "Lets talk to our new friends"
"NO!!!" said Tobi, who snapped out of his shock "They are NOT our friends, that kid is a little annoying bastard" he said, pointing at Obito "and there is no way in hell they're joining us"
THREE HOURS LATER
And thus, the quest began again, with the moogles, Tobi, Haku, Rin, and Obito.
"come on" said Haku "lets all start to sing rascal flats!"
Haku, Rin, and Obito started to sing 'Life is a highway'
"I hate life" Muttered Tobi, slinking along the back
Unforunately for Tobi, this was published. Be sure to send reviews for comments, questions, suggestions, and such. Be sure to read my other fanfic (Don't Believe it).
Until next time, Believe it!