Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, Pop Tarts, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, or any of the characters, so don't sue me:D

Cookie Monster

"Oww..." groaned Varon as he slowly walked into the living room, holding an empty pop tart box in his hands "My bum hurts so bad..."

Despite falling six stories out of Mai's bedroom window, Varon didn't feel it was the worst part of his day. That moment came when he opened the cherry pop tart box Mai had thrown, only to discover that it was completely empty. Now not only was his bum completely sore, his stomach was still as empty as the box in his hand. As if that wasn't bad enough, he had to put up with Amelda's endless complaining.

"Will you shut up!?" snapped Amelda as he rubbed his eyes which were still stinging badly from the pepper spray "I'm in more pain than you could even imagine!"

Even before Amelda got out of bed, he had a feeling that his day was going to be bad. After all, any day where he had to get up early and lose beauty sleep, was automatically a bad day for him. So far things had gone as predicted since he had endured extreme pain and humiliation. The worst part was that it had all been for nothing, since he hadn't even been able to get his cherry pop tart. As if that wasn't bad enough, Varon was also hungry and whining nonstop.

"But my bum does hurt!" whined Varon as he pulled up his pajama shirt and looked down at his growling stomach "And so does my tummy!"

"Well what do you want me to do about it?" asked Amelda who was in a far worse mood than usual "You know that there's no food around..."

"Wait... I know!" said Varon whose sky blue eyes lit up as he got an idea that he believed was absolutely brilliant "We can ask the food fairy to help us!"

"The food fairy?" asked Amelda as a puzzled look immediately came across his face "What on Earth are you talking about?"

"Well ya've heard of the tooth fairy right mate?" asked Varon in a know-it-all tone of voice "She leaves money each time ya lose a tooth"

"No...I have absolutely no clue who the tooth fairy is" said Amelda in a sarcastic tone of voice as he rolled his eyes at the brunette "But what exactly is the point of this 'brilliant' conversation?"

Immediately a look of happiness and nostalgia came across Varon's face, and he began to tell Amelda about the mysterious food fairy. It all began late one night when Varon got up to look for a midnight snack, but found nothing but a cup of prune juice in the refrigerator. Feeling sad and disappointed, the brunette closed the fridge door and was about to go back to bed when it happened. Standing before him was a figure wearing a lilac houserobe and some furry mint green slippers. On the person's face was a mask made of mint green goo, and a cucumber slice over each of their eyes. The mystery person also had long blue hair pulled into two buns on top of their head.

(Flashback)

"Who are ya!?" gasped Varon who was in absolute shock at this strange looking person in front of him "What do ya want!?"

"I'm a magical food fairy" said Dartz in a sarcastic tone of voice as he peeled the cucumbers off of his eyes "And I come from a land where everything is made of junk food"

"You're really a magical food fairy!?" gasped Varon who couldn't believe that he was actually talking to a fairy "I've never met a magical food fairy before!"

"Yeah yeah..." said Dartz as he pushed Varon aside and opened up the refrigerator to retrieve his prune juice "Ahhh just what I wanted"

"Oh magical food fairy can ya help me!?" asked Varon as he suddenly threw himself on the ground and clung to Dartz's leg "I'm so hungry but there's no food!"

"Let go of me you braindead artichoke!" growled Dartz as he shook his leg and tried to pry the brunette off "I don't have time for this!"

"Pretty please!?" pleaded Varon who began to grip the Atlantean's leg harder than ever "I promise I'll go away and leave ya alone if ya gimme somethin' to eat!"

"Is that all it'll take to make you go away?"

"Uh huh!"

"Alright fine..."

So Dartz snapped his fingers and immediately, an extra large meaty cheesy burrito appeared in Varon's hands. The brunette's eyes immediately lit up and he stuffed it into his mouth right away. Meanwhile Dartz chuckled evilly, before taking a sip of his prune juice, and heading back to his bedroom.

(End Flashback)

"So even though that burrito gave me food poisoning later on" said Varon as he fondly remembered the entire incident "It's still the best one I've ever eaten mate!"

"That's the stupidest story I've ever heard!" said Amelda who wasn't really surprised to hear such nonsense from the brunette "I can't believe this was your 'brilliant' plan"

"Oh yeah!?" shouted Varon who was sick and tired of people never believing anything that he said "Do ya have a better idea sheila?"

"Well..." said Amelda as he casually crossed his arms in front of his chest "We could just go down to the store and buy some food"

"Oh yeah..." said Varon as his sky blue eyes opened wide, now that the redhead had reminded him of the store "Well then what are we waitin' for!? Lets go!"

(Meanwhile In The Supermarket)

"Oooh which cereal should I pick?" said Pegasus as he stood in the middle of the cereal aisle "They all look so wonderfully sugary and delicious!"

Whenever Pegasus came to the supermarket, he usually had to take the day off from work. After all even though he had dozens of servants who obeyed his every command, he preferred to do his own shopping. Nothing could beat the thrill he got of pushing his shopping cart around, filling it up, and pretending he was on a hunt for treasure. Of course whenever he reached the cereal aisle, he would always take several hours. After all there were just so many choices, that he could never decide what he wanted.

"This isn't fair!" thought Yugi who was currently climbing up one of the display shelves "Why is my favorite cereal always on the top shelf?"

"Oh Yugi boy!" cried Pegasus when he noticed Yugi climbing up the shelves, and immediately ran over to him "What cereal would you recommend?"

"Huh? Ahhh Pegasus!" cried Yugi as he looked back and saw the soul stealing, red suit wearing, white haired, 'eccentric' millionaire "What do you want?"

"Oh come now Yugi boy!" said Pegasus with a little laugh and a nonchalant flip of his wrist "I just want your advice since I'm having trouble picking a cereal!"

"Oh...in that case" said Yugi with glimmering violet eyes, as he pointed to a box of cereal on the top shelf "That's my favorite cereal up there!"

Pegasus immediately looked up and saw a yellow cereal box with a picture of Yami Yugi and the word 'Yugi O's' across the front of it. The cereal consisted of sugar coated puffs with an array of marshmallows shaped like the Millenium Items. There was even a free Millenium Item toy inside the box, and it urged children to collect them before Yami Bakura stole them all.

"Oooh sugar, marshmallows, and a collectible toy!" said Pegasus as he snatched up one of the boxes and shook it "What a perfect choice!"

"Uh...actually I wasn't talking about that cereal" said Yugi as he pointed to the box of cereal next to the 'Yugi O's' cereal "My favorite cereal is Cinnamon Toast Cru-AHHHHHHHH!"

Before Yugi could finish his sentence though, he lost his grip, and fell headfirst straight to the ground. Luckily he didn't really hurt himself, since his hair managed to break the impact of the fall. Then again Yugi didn't feel it anyways since halfway through, he switched places with Yami. So when the pharoah opened his eyes, he found himself upside down, and with Pegasus looking right at him.

"Do I really want to know what happened?" asked Yami as he toppled over and ended up falling on his side "Or will I be traumatized for life?"

"So you don't think I should get this cereal Yugi boy?" said Pegasus who still had the box of 'Yugi O's" cereal in hand "What should I get then?"

"What!? Nothing is better than 'Yugi O's"!" exclaimed Yami as he jumped up with a look of complete and utter disbelief in his eyes "They're both delicious and nutritious!"

"Oooh goody!" said Pegasus cheerfully as he tossed the box of cereal into his shopping cart and began pushing it away "Well now I'm off to find more delicious treasures!"

Once Pegasus had left the aisle, a smile came across Yami's face since he had just made a sale. After all just because he didn't have his own body, didn't mean that he couldn't make money selling his own brand of cereal. Now that he was all alone though, the Pharoah walked over the display shelf, gave a small groan, and began to climb up it.

"Why is the Cinnamon Toast Crunch always on the top shelf?" muttered Yami as he cautiously put his foot on one of the shelves "I bet Yami Bakura is behind this somehow..."

(Meanwhile In Another Part Of The Supermarket)

"Okay lets see..." said Raphael as he stopped his shopping cart at the entrance to the frozen food aisle "All I need is mint-n-chip ice cream and a bag of tater tots"

Despite having the wobbliest shopping cart in the supermarket, Raphael managed to get around fairly quickly. In fact things were going so well that he had gotten nearly everything on his shopping list, and was about ready to go back home. Naturally Raphael was happy since it was still fairly early, and he would be able to enjoy his day as planned. So he left his shopping cart alone for a few seconds, while he quickly rushed into the freezers and got what he needed. When he finally returned with the ice cream and tater tots, he was in for a surprise though...

"My shopping cart!" cried Raphael when he realized that his shopping cart wasn't where he had left it "Where did it go!?"

Raphael quickly looked around to see if anyone had taken it by mistake, but he was out of luck. After all the only two people in the frozen aisle were some weird guy with long pink hair and a purple suit, and a young boy with purple hair pulled into a ponytail.

"Which flavor of ice cream should I decide on?" said Siegfried as he looked down at the two containers in his hand "Vanilla or French vanilla?"

"Siegfried we've been here for two hours!" groaned Leon who was bored out of his mind as he glanced down at his watch "Can you just pick one already?"

"Picking the perfect flavor takes time Leon" said Siegfried as he carefully read every single word on the containers "It's an artform that requires the most delicate precision"

"But they're both vanilla!" cried Leon who sometimes felt that the pink hairdye Siegfried used was affecting his brain "What's the big difference?"

As soon as Leon said this, Siegfried gasped, dropped the containers, and fell to his knees in shock. After all he couldn't believe that his little brother had just had the nerve to say that vanilla and French vanilla were the same thing! Leon on the other hand simply rolled his eyes and walked out of the aisle, in search of something more exciting to do.

"Well he couldn't have taken it" thought Raphael as he glanced over at the pink haired nutcase who looked like a 70's reject "He doesn't seem sane enough"

"Blasphemy..." uttered Siegfried as he began to tremble when he remembered the horrible words that his little brother had spoken "Nothing but blasphemy!"

So if this pink haired, leisure suit wearing nutcase hadn't taken Raphael's cart, then who had? It had only been about a minute since the cart vanished, so it couldn't be too far away. Raphael quickly left the frozen section and decided to check all of the nearby aisles to see if his cart was there. No sooner had he left the aisle, one of the freezer doors opened up, and Dartz stepped out of it. He was dressed in a very heavy white fur coat, and was holding a frozen strawberry daiquiri in one hand.

"Finding that shopping cart won't be as easy as you think Raphael" said Dartz as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cocktail umbrella for his drink "I've made sure of that..."

Dartz then let out an evil laugh, took a sip of his daiquiri, and walked out of the aisle still dressed in his heavy wintery garb. After all he might want a refill of his strawberry daiquiri, and he didn't want to freeze to death getting it.

"Ugh..." said the still mentally traumatized Siegfried when he caught sight of what Dartz was wearing "Doesn't he know that fur is out this season?"

(Meanwhile In the parking lot)

"Stupid job..." muttered Bandit Keith, who was almost done rounding up all of the stray shopping carts in the parking lot "I hate it so much!"

In the half hour it took Bandit Keith to round up the shopping carts, it gave him plenty of time to think. Although he had once been the proud owner of 'Bandit Keith's Used Car Lot', that came to an end when the police shut it down. After all there had been dozens of complaints that the cars he sold were crummy, had a tendency to explode, or came with sugar in the gas tank. Then again what could people expect from a man who added the word 'bandit' to his name? So after losing his used car lot, Bandit Keith had no choice but to go work at the local supermarket. Of course he didn't want to recognize that it was his own fault that he was there, so he found it easier to blame others...

"The only reason I'm here is cause of crybabies!" shouted Bandit Keith as he walked towards the last stray shopping cart in the parking lot "Crybabies who can't appreciate quality engineering when they see-What's this?"

As soon as Bandit Keith approached the shopping cart, he noticed that it was full of all kinds of food. While at first he thought that maybe it belonged to someone, he soon realized that no one seemed to be around. So Bandit Keith reached a hand out and attempted to grab it, but the cart rolled backwards a few inches. He once again tried to reach out for it, but then the shopping cart suddenly spun around and sped off by itself.

"WHAT THE-" exclaimed Bandit Keith as he began to run after the cart as quickly as he could "COME BACK HERE!"

Little did Bandit Keith suspect that this was no ordinary shopping cart, but was actually Dartz's enchanted shopping cart. Despite being completely full of food, the cart was really fast, and easily maneuvered through cars. Bandit Keith wasn't going to let himself be outrun by a stupid shopping cart, so he picked up his pace. Unfortunately this caused the shopping cart to start going faster as well. At one point the shopping cart made a sharp turn, but the weight of food caused it to flip over several times, and it was headed right towards the shopping carts Bandit Keith had already collected.

"NO!" screamed Bandit Keith at the top of his lungs when he realized what was about to happen "IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO COLLECT THOSE SHOPPING C-"

CRASH!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"What's going on out here Bandit Keith?" asked Serenity as she walked out of the supermarket, after hearing Bandit Keith's screams "Why are you screaming so-SWEET RA! "

Not only were there shopping carts scattered all over the parking lot, one had crashed right through the windshield of someone's car. Luckily it was Dartz's old Geo Metro, so it didn't really matter. Serenity tried to make herself look as angry as possible, before storming up to Bandit Keith.

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU ROUND UP SHOPPING CARTS" screamed Serenity who was trying to make herself sound as professional and grown up as possible "SO HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?"

"I-I-I" stuttered Bandit Keith who was in too much shock to even realize that Serenity was talking to him "I-I-I..."

ZAP!

"YEOW!" screamed Bandit Keith when Serenity suddenly pulled a cattle prod out and shocked him right in the butt "What was that for?"

"This is the motivational prod!" shouted Serenity as she proudly waved the cattle prod in his face "It's what I use to deal with incompetent employees like you!"

"Why you little-YEOW!" screamed Bandit Keith as Serenity jabbed him once again with the motivational prod "No more!"

"Now start rounding up shopping carts!" said Serenity as she put her free hand on her hips "Or else you're fired!"

Bandit Keith immediately ran off to collect shopping carts, since he didn't want to be electrocuted again. Meanwhile Serenity simply looked at the motivational prod and smiled as happily as she could. Being the general supervisior at the supermarket was truly the best summer job that she had ever had. After all not only did she get to boss around older people, she also got to humiliate them as well.

"Ahh..." said Serenity with a satisfied look on her face as she put her hands on her hips and stood there proudly "Is there anything that could make this day bett-OW!"

"OUT OF MY WAY!" shouted a crazed Seto Kaiba as he knocked Serenity over as he rushed into the supermarket "I NEED CAFFEINE!"

After nearly being hit by a runaway car, Seto wasn't exactly in the best mood. He had been in such a hurry to jump out of the way, that he ended up dropping the cup of coffee he had been carrying. Without his morning coffee, Seto became so horrible and so cranky, that he went on an insane rampage. So far he had knocked over trash cans, tipped a telephone booth, kicked a dog, and scared several school children. As Seto trampled through a flower bed, he smelled freshly ground coffee beans, and realized that it was coming from the supermarket. So he quickly ran in that direction, knocking down every single person along the way.

"So it's caffeine he wants?" muttered Serenity as she pulled herself off of the ground and picked up the motivational prod "Well I'll give him a something that'll REALLY wake him up"

(Meanwhile In the cookie aisle)

"Mmmm!" mumbled Marik who was stuffing his mouth as he sat on the ground surrounded by dozens of empty cookie packages "The best cookies in life are the ones you don't pay for!"

After using the power of the Millenium Rod on Serenity, Marik was free to eat whatever he wanted. So after a quick trip around the supermarket, eating free samples along the way, he smelled something wonderful. It was the delicious and unmistakable smell of prepackaged cookie treats. He could smell shortbread cookies, fig cookies, sandwich cookies, mint cookies, chocolate chip cookies, and even some frosted animal crackers. Marik immediately ran towards the smell, found the cookie aisle, tore open several packages of cookies, and began to stuff his greedy face. Just as he was about to open up his fourth package of chocolate chip cookies, something unexpected happened...

POW!

"Lets see..." said Tea who was completely unaware that she had just crashed into Marik with her old, beaten up, wobbly wheeled shopping cart "Do I want chocolate chip cookies or chocolate mint ones?"

"HEY!"

"Huh?"

"HOW DARE YOU HIT ME?" screamed Marik as he rubbed the side of his head, right where the shopping cart had hit him "Can't you see I'm in the middle of some important business?"

"Oops sorry about that Marik..." said Tea with an embarassed look as she finally noticed the platinum blonde haired teen sitting on the ground "It's just that this shopping cart is really wobbly and hard to control"

"You're just lucky you didn't wake my yami!" snarled Marik as he brought his hands together and smashed the package of cookies he was holding "He'd really let you have it!"

"Uh well..." said Tea as she immediately began to back away from Marik, for fear of getting hurt by his psycho yami "I'll leave you to your business!"

"Now where was I?" said Marik as he looked down and realized that he had smashed an uneaten package of cookies "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Tea was in such a hurry to get away that she sped all over the supermarket, not knowing or caring where she was heading. In fact the only thing that brought her to a stop was when her shopping cart tipped over and all of her things flew out. So Tea had no choice but to get down on all fours, and start gathering up all of her food. What she didn't know was that as she ran through the supermarket, she had gotten someone's attention. In fact he followed Tea halfway through the supermarket, waiting for the right time to make his move...

"Aha!" thought Raphael as he eyed the tipped over and beaten up shopping cart with it's suspiciously wobbly wheels "I had a feeling this was my shopping cart"

"Oh..." groaned Tea who was desperately crawling around, trying to locate her all of her scattered groceries "Where did my box of chocolate yogurt cups go?"

"For stealing my shopping cart and causing me to lose precious time" thought Raphael as touched the Orichalcos stone around his neck while sneaking up behind Tea "I'm going to take her sou-"

"There they are!" exclaimed Tea as she suddenly lunged forward, causing her miniskirt to flip up and flash her pink silk panties "Oh wait...these are cherry yogurt cups"

Before Raphael knew what was happening, his entire body felt hot, and his nose began to gush blood like crazy. After all as powerful as the Orichalcos was, it was no match for the power of silk panties. In fact Dartz had warned his minions about this, and told them what to do in such a situation. Amelda thought it was pure nonsense, and Varon wasn't paying attention, but luckily Raphael had been. So after quickly wiping his nose with his sleeve and slapping himself across the face a few times, Raphael went back to normal. Taking advantage of the fact that Tea was still distracted, he quietly snuck over to the overturned shopping cart.

"I'd better play it safe from now on" thought Raphael as he flipped the cart back onto it's wobbly wheels "After all I don't know what other tricks she might have in store"

"There you are!" exclaimed Tea happily as she finally noticed her chocolate yogurt cups next to a display of paper towels "I thought I'd lost you!"

"Not again!" thought Raphael as he immediately looked down at the shopping cart and took off running as quickly as he could "I'd better keep a closer on my cart from now on!"

"Okay I think that's everything" said Tea as she pulled herself up from the ground with several items in her arms "Now I can go back and look for some choco-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"SHUT UP!" shouted Marik all the way from over in the cookie aisle, when he heard Tea's scream "You screech like Ishizu in the mornings!"

"MY CART!" cried Tea as she dropped her food and began to frantically began to look all around "Where did it go!?"

At that moment the display of paper towels toppled over, and Dartz emerged from it. He was now dressed in his favorite purple business suit, and was holding a martini in his hand. Having seen what happened to Raphael a few moments earlier, Dartz was aware that Tea was wearing silk panties. Luckily it wouldn't really affect him, since he was beginning to feel a little tipsy at that point.

"Little do you suspect that I have your shopping cart Raphael..." said Dartz as he pulled the olive out of his martini and ate it "So you just stole an innocent girl's cart for no reason"

"Excuse me, but I just lost my shopping cart!" cried poor Tea as she ran up to the Atlantean king with a look of desperation in her eyes "Did you happen to see who took it?"

"No, I just got here right this moment" said Dartz who couldn't help but note that Tea acted like Varon when he was hungry "Besides it's not like I notice such petty things..."

"Oh this sucks!" whined Tea as she stomped the ground with one of her massive white platform boots "Now I have to go look for another shopping cart!"

So with an annoyed look on her face, Tea gathered up all of her things, and stomped off like an angry cow. Dartz gave an evil chuckle since everything was going better than expected. Usually Raphael was so uptight and boring, that he was absolutely no fun to be around. Now not only had Dartz managed to make him mad, he also got to see just what a pervert he was. As if that wasn't good enough, his other two stooges were also on their way to the supermarket...

"Three idiots plus one supermarket" said Dartz as he chuckled and tossed his empty martini glass aside "Equals endless amusement fit for a king"

"Tell me about it" said Yami as he walked by at that moment with a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in hands "That's exactly how I feel when I come shopping with Joey, Tea, and Tristan"

To Be Continued...

Author's Notes: Thank you so much for the reviews of the last chapter guys! Although I must admit that I'm surprised(yet glad) to see Miss Soba after so long! Anyways on a sidenote, Siegfried's ice cream dilemma was based on something real. I actually saw two people get into an argument over the difference between vanilla and French vanilla. So once again thank you for your support! Hugs and kisses:D (tosses out leftover candy canes)