Thanks to threeheadedmonkey, Anonimoose, Beautiful x lie, Delenn Mai, Sayla Ragnarok, NazgulQueen, tidelmor, LiMeMaRgArItALiPBaLm, Queen-Akasha, MrsCaptainJack85, and Jinxeh for the lovely reviews. Sorry for the late update, I was really busy and went for a long holiday. This chapter is unbetaed so any offer to proof read it for me is welcomed.
PotC, Harry Potter, and Heroes do not belong to me.
Dear Captain Sparrow,
How're you holding up without your ship? I'm bored of being Calypso so now I'm back to be Tia Dalma. I'll be Calypso again when I get bored then if I get bored again, I'll be Tia Dalma again and so on and so on.
Help!!!!!! I can't really get my place tidy. I never get the knack of it, being magical and the ruler of the sea doesn't help. In fact, the reason I became Calypso was because I could never be tidy. If I am Calypso, I get the excuse of not tidying up my shack. I can always drown anyone criticizing me not being tidy or mess their houses or boats. In fact, I can also curse people using Voodoo while I 'm being Tia Dalma, but that's beside the point. Talking about Voodoo, do you happen to know why I got a lot of forwarded mails from a guy called Santa Clause from North Pole asking me to make Beckett voodoo dolls? He did mention about something about you being unhelpful. Why am I not surprised that you're being unhelpful? Sorry, sorry, I'm not supposed to criticize you while asking for help. If you can help me or give me some ideas how to tidy up my place, I will be eternally (literally) grateful. You can have all your hearts desire, jars of dirt, ships, boats, women (I assume you'll take anyone as long as they're female, rite?), you name it, I can give it to you. If you can't help, don't ever hope to have a peaceful life and safe sailing anymore.
PS: Don't you wonder why I talk and write differently? Well, that's my secret.
Voodooly yours,
Calypso/Tia Dalma (sorry, can't decide which one is more threatening)
Dear Tia/Calypso/whoever you are at the moment,
Well, I'm fine. Gee, I wonder why you don't have faith in me. Of course, I'll get my ship back. I'm still working on it. It's a bit hard with my rum-induced stupor but I'll manage.
First of all, thank you for not blaming me in your letter. That is a first. I was so scared that it'll be one of those letters but I'm glad that it's only a threatening letter. Err, that doesn't sound right, but anyway, I give you points for being original.
To answer your questions, have you seen my ship? Do you see how tidy it is? Are you blind or insane? Of course, I don't know how to tidy up. I just chuck whatever I don't want anywhere and use my compass to find what I want. Perhaps you should invest in a good compass rather than worrying about tidying up. After all you're only being insecure about not being tidy but as you said nobody really dares to criticize you, at least not in front of you if they want to live. To make you feel better, I read one article before saying that half of MIT students are tidy and half are not. So you see, smart people can be untidy as well, so tidiness is so overrated and not an indication of their intellect. Not that I question your intellect (despite asking me this question instead of other neat people), but it's been proven. The moral of my rambling is don't feel bad about being untidy, just be yourself. Look at me, shipless, drunk, and untidy but I'm still very happy.
On a side note, since you are magical, can't you just learn the spells from Harry Potter to tidy up your place? I can't remember it on top my head at the moment.
Shall I have my reward now that I already make you feel better? I have one very hard request though, could you make the writers' strike stop? A lot of my favorite TV shows will be put on hold if the strikes continue. I don't know whether I can stand with only 11 episodes of Heroes for Season 2. Arrgh, that's more painful that the cliffhanger at the end of DMC. If you don't know what to do about it, that's fine. I always like to help people to avoid being cursed or drowned.
To address your other issues or concerns, I may have something to do with Santa Clause request but I'm not telling since you don't tell me the secret why you talk and write differently. In fact, I did you another favor by giving you more business making Beckett's voodoo dolls. How's that business doing by the way? Can I have any share in that since I did initiate the business?
No offense about me being unhelpful. As proven in this letter. I am very helpful.
Another thing that really worries me if your perception that I will take anyone female. That's not true. For one, I'll not take Mary Sues, no matter how beautiful or skillful they're. I'm sure I can come up with some other females that I'm not interested given a very long time in but I can't name one for now. Can I get back to you about this later?
I think I have helped you a lot in this letter and am being polite for a change. I sincerely hope that you won't hold anything against me and won't curse me or drown me or preconceive anything bad. As civilized and smart people (remember the MIT students), we should not resolve to violence. We shall discuss any concern either face to face or via letters/emails/sms/IRC chats/Facebook "messages"/"wall to wall posts"/… err, you get my point.
Always glad to help,
Captain Jack Sparrow
Captain's note: I did hear the article about MIT students (or are they other university students?), anyway, the article about smart people, so don't feel bad about being untidy. However, please don't tell your parents that I told you so. This may be the end of these series as I get distracted with other shiny things coughHeroescough unless you really want me to continue. Thanks for being faithful readers! I always welcome reviews/critics either positive or negarive.