The colonel leaned forward suddenly, sobering. "There. Set it down there."

"'Jumper One. This is Atlantis. Do you read?" Elizabeth Weir's concerned voice filtered though their comm links.

"This is 'Jumper One. Sorry 'bout earlier, Elizabeth," Sheppard said genially. "We had some technical difficulties." He winked at McKay, who looked very uncomfortable. "We're just checking something out on the n-eastern pier. We'll be home for dinner."

"Anything we can help you with, John?" Her voice was beginning to sound suspicious.

Sheppard rubbed his temple slowly. "I think it's under control. Right, McKay?"

"Shouldn't take long at all. No worries," McKay said flatly.

"Keep us posted. Atlantis out."

The colonel rose stiffly, making his way to the hatch. As soon as the ship landed, he opened the hatch with a thought. Slowly, he walked towards a sleeker version of the mainland obelisk. Reaching in his pocket, he felt the weight of the flat round object he took from McKay earlier. "You coming?"

"Yes, yes, yes. Getting my tablet."

Standing in front of the tall tower, Sheppard pulled his left hand out of his pocket, and kept it curled around the object. "You remember that scene in 'Smallville' when they finally use the key in the caves?" the colonel said cryptically.

"You know I don't watch that poor excuse for drama, Colonel," McKay blurted. "It's not even good teen angst– whoa, whoa, whoa! These readings just went so far off the grid, they aren't even registering. What's going on?" He reluctantly pulled his attention away from his flat computer.

"This," Sheppard said hoarsely. He opened his palm, revealing the artifact. The object spun once and hovered above his hand. It was the strangest feeling storing energy in one's body. While he was not energized at all by this, he could feel it pulsing at his fingertips. As the object continued to spin, the winds gathered. Tiny blue sparks emanated from his hand to its slick surface. When the last spark hit the surface, it rose higher. In the blink of an eye, the object embedded itself in the receiving obelisk, finally disappearing inside.

With a sideways glance, the colonel noticed the horrified look on McKay's face. Turning to face him, he summoned his best command voice. "Do not, under any circumstances, move from that spot. Understood?"

The scientist convulsively swallowed. "Yes, of course," he said meekly. For once, Rodney McKay had no idea what to say or do next. He decided to let Sheppard do what he felt he had to do, and deal with the consequences later. Watching the foolish man step closer to the obelisk, McKay said a silent prayer.

As Sheppard approached the towering object, he felt a familiar sensation. Atlantis was anticipating his next action, almost begging for it. A smile crept across his lips, happy to oblige, happy to indulge The City.

Dark clouds began to gather as the electrical storm quickly moved over Atlantis. A thought occurred to Sheppard. "Rodney! Tell everyone to shut down all Earth computers!"

Miraculously, McKay obeyed. "Please don't ask any questions, Elizabeth. Just hurry!"

Now John was ready. Using the information he had gathered from the first obelisk, he waved a hand over the sleek, cool surface of Atlantis' most northern point. A small panel emerged, and he pressed a sequence.

McKay leaned forward to hear what the colonel was muttering. He was speaking Ancient, but the dialect was strange. In his straining to hear, McKay nearly missed the look of surprise on the colonel's face. McKay did a mental evaluation of his aches, and decided he could carry the stupid colonel if it was necessary.

Suddenly, the deck below came alive with static electricity. Looking back and forth between the darkening sky and Sheppard, McKay started to inch back toward the 'jumper. This cannot be good. The electrical discharge– This may hurt. What am I doing here?

"McKay! Stay right where you are!"

The scientist froze and the clear and resonate words. His eyes measured Sheppard, who stared back uncompromisingly. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the lightning strike. Touching the obelisk, Sheppard stiffly held out a hand to the south. I guess it would technically be east, right? Never mind.

The obelisk acted as lightning rod, and Sheppard became a conductor as an eerie blue light enveloped him. Turning his head away from McKay, he shifted his vacant gaze to horizon just past his fingertips. The blue light flew from his outstretched hand to God-knows-where, but in a matter of seconds, it came back to the obelisk from the other side. Had it gone around the whole planet?

Thirty seconds became an eternity as the light dissipated and the clouds let out the loudest burst of thunder McKay had ever heard shook the deck. "Colonel, we need to get inside! Now!"

Sheppard squeezed his eyes closed as lightning flashed again. He nodded slowly, hugging the skinny tower. If he moved, there was a possibility he would fall. Groping fingers curled around his arm, prying it away from his support. "Come on," a voice said quietly against the raging wind. Without opening his eyes, Sheppard let go of the obelisk and clung to his friend and constant companion.

They entered the ship just before it started to rain. McKay wasn't sure what would happen if they got wet, but there was no way he was taking chances. He lowered Sheppard to the bench, noticing the colonel still had his eyes closed. "You can open your eyes now," McKay said sternly.

"It's way too... too... umm, bright. Gimme a second," Sheppard said, his voice soft and weary. He took a deep cleansing breath, and opened his eyes a tiny bit at a time.

McKay bit his lip before he asked his next question. "How do you feel?" He really wasn't prepared for the expression on the colonel's face.

Pure joy.

"Hell of a rush, Rodney!" Sheppard laughed breezily.

"Oh my God, Sheppard." McKay straightened and pointed. "Your–"

"My eyes should be back to normal–"

"–hair! It's standing on end!" He threw his head back in full throaty laughter.

Sheppard raised a shaky hand to his head. Sure enough, the static had caused his hair to stand up in every possible direction. No matter what he did, it seemed to stick out even more, and McKay was laughing so hard he doubled over. "Can we go home now?"

"Sure, sure," McKay said as he straightened. He shuffled to the pilot's chair still giggling.

"You know, Rodney," the colonel said, drunkenly swaying towards the co-pilot's chair. "I ain't goin' down alone." Rubbing his head, he created a build-up of static electricity. He placed his hands over Rodney's head. Quickly, the scientist's hair stood up.

"What? What are you doing?" McKay reached up ignoring Sheppard's cackling laugh. "Oh ha ha, Colonel. Very mature. What's next? Kick me signs and Indian rope burns? Now sit down! This is not Spy vs. Spy." Tapping his comm, he watched Sheppard slowly lower himself into the chair. "Flight, this is 'Jumper One. We're coming home."

"Understood, Rodney. Can't wait to hear your report. Is the colonel all right?" Doctor Weir sounded a little concerned.

"Yeahsureyabetcha, 'Lishabeth. Ahm fine. Jesh a lil t'red."

"Are you drunk, Colonel Sheppard?"

"He wishes. That will take some time to explain. Landing shortly. Might as well have Beck–"

"No! Ahm fine! Walking," Sheppard slurred. His eyes kept slipping closed, waking only to emit light chuckles. Then he woozily leaned forward, fixing his pilot with round eyes. "Look... doors. I like doors. They listen to me. No one ever listens to me. Do they listen to you? Do you hear them? I hear lots of things... Isn't it funny that I can open literal doors but not figurative ones? You know... up here. Well, not funny, but maybe just ironic–"

McKay dramatically rolled his eyes. "Shut up. You're rambling like a four-year-old." Finally turning a speculative gaze on the Chief Military Officer. "There is something seriously wrong with you, Sheppard." He landed the 'jumper, and rose to leave, but stopped when he felt a hand on his wrist. Looking down, he saw Sheppard smiling at him, eyes glassy with exhaustion.

"That was kinda cool, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, Sheppard. It was." McKay said sadly, placing both hands on the colonel's forearms to pull him up. The strangest sensation passed between them as the remaining low level electrical current dissipated. They both gave a little laugh as they looked up at each other's hair. "Come on. Let's not keep Beckett waiting."

The colonel stepped forward nearly tripping over his own feet. "Well, that's not gonna work."

McKay stepped behind him, placing his hands on the colonel's shoulders to guide him out of the ship, keeping the man from falling down. "Seriously, Sheppard. You need to stop this. Or at least let other people in on your ill-conceived plans to rescue us."

"It just h-happens. Don't mean to be on the receiving end of the backlash, though. I–" Sheppard immediately halted, planting his feet.

McKay looked over the taller man's shoulder and saw Beckett standing huffily at the bay entrance. "You are in so much trouble," he whispered in the colonel's ear.

Trying to focus on the man in front of him, Sheppard smiled his best smile. "Hiya, Doc! Nice day for a spin around the planet, no?" Everything was fine until the last second, when he nearly tripped over his own feet. Again.

"Hold it right there, you two," Carson Beckett's tone was dangerously low and calm. "Rodney? Would you mind letting go of the colonel?"

"Why?" To his credit, the Chief Scientist looked defiant. "We both know what's gonna happen."

"I can w-walk to the umm..."

"Infirmary, Sheppard. Jeez! You keep this up, I will let go just to see what happens."

"Yeah, 'bout that, Doc. I'd really prefer getting there on my–" McKay's ahem interrupted him. "–our own. Why are you laughing?" Leaning closer to his human crutch, Sheppard whispered, "Why is he laughing?"

"Oh, I don't know, Colonel. It could be that our hair looks like a fourth grade science experiment."

"All right, John. Have it your way," Beckett chuckled. "Off ye go. I'll be right behind ye."

"Well that went better than I expected."

"Don't push your luck, Sheppard. What the hell?" They entered the tower proper, and the lights brightened. For once, McKay actually felt what Sheppard felt. "You hear this all the time?"

"See, I'm not crazy," the colonel said as if trying to convince himself.

When they finally gained the infirmary, Sheppard wobbled over to the exam table. "How are you, Carson?"

"Son, I don't know what ye did out there, but I have got a wee buzzin' in my skull that wasn't there this mornin'." He only felt The City when he was very tired or very stressed; Atlantis would become highly tuned to him. Now, he understood what the colonel went through on his best days. "Explain, please, what ye were doin' out there on the eastern pier during a storm?"

"Long story short," McKay piped in, silencing the fading patient. "Colonel Weatherman here decided to temporarily charge the ZedPMs using the lightning. Apparently, this planet has an entire backup system just for that."

"Like the grounding stations?" Elizabeth Weir walked into the exam area glancing over the partners in crime. One was wet and shivering, the other was only slightly wet and wearing a look of disgust. Both had hair sticking up everywhere.

"Yes, like the grounding stations. I'll have to check with Zelenka's readings, but I'm sure this harnessing affected different systems, maybe some we never knew about. Carson, I'll check back later." Without waiting for an answer, McKay turned on his heel and tapped his earpiece. "McKay... Really?" Ahem. "Of course, I knew that... Well, we'll worry about that later... I'll let Doctor Weir know about it. McKay out." Walking back to the exam area, the Chief Scientist bounced on his toes, sloppy grin stamped all over his face.

"Well, McKay," Sheppard drawled. "Either Miko finally said yes, or there's good news about the ZPM."

The grin instantly left his face. "Sheppard. You are an ass." Turning his sour look to Weir, he brightened. "Well, it seems Colonel Lightning Rod has brought the weather center back online, and gave the ZedPM a bit of a boost. We can at least fix some secondary systems that have been neglected, and get the chair online for maintenance." He reached up to smooth down his hair, a dangerous smirk aimed at the colonel. "You're lucky you didn't get electrocuted. Shoulda seen him, Carson. Standing out there, conducting electricity–"

"Enough!" Beckett was beyond exasperated with his two most frequent patients. "All right, lad. Change into these," he shoved a set of scrubs into the colonel's arms. Then he held up a silencing finger. "There will be no arguing from you today. I don't know why I bother releasing you if you just come back. Can't let ya outta ma sight for more than a fortnight, and yer back here–" He snatched the privacy curtain closed.

"But–"

"Not a worrrd outta ya, Rrrrodney."

By the time the curtain opened again, the Scot's brogue had thickened to the point where the colonel considered a translator. Sheppard glanced around the room, and imagined everyone ducking for cover in the battle of wills between patient and doctor. Even Elizabeth and Rodney had slinked away while he changed.

Then, with a suddenness that stilled the entire room, Beckett stopped. With a deep cleansing breath, he placed his hands on his patient's arm. "All I'm sayin, lad, is stop. Your little display today has just proved how important you are here. Not in the infirmary, of course, but out there, where this city needs ye. Now," he put on a smile that rivaled the sun, and moved his hand up to the colonel's shoulder. "Lie back an' relax. Need another blanket?"

Sheppard's reply was cut off by a yawn. Simply nodding his head, he leaned back and closed his eyes. Yes, I really should stop doing that. Sleeping for days at a time is getting annoying, John reasoned with The Colonel. Internally, he always had this running battle with the human John Sheppard, and the robot-like, black-and-white, no nonsense Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard. Fine. Sleep it off this time, but I want to see you working by tomorrow, Civilian.

Before sliding into oblivion again, Sheppard snapped his eyes open, grabbing Carson's sleeve. "Tell Rodney–"

"Go to sleep, lad. I'm sure Rodney will figure it out." He pulled the blankets up to the colonel's chin, at the same time reached to smooth down his patient's hair. With a loud crackle of static, the doctor jumped back. "Och!"

"Yeah, sorry about that," mumbled Sheppard. Closing his eyes, he slipped away to a dark familiar place.

The End

A/N: Well, that certainly got waaaay outta hand! And, since this is science fiction, I took some liberties with the laws of physics. And weather. And the ZedPM. So nanny nanny boo boo.