disclaim:notmine.
Close My Eyes
...I close my eyes, I dream that I'm awake...
She'd never been one to dream. She'd been a down-to-earth, grounded girl for as long as she could remember. While other girls dreamt of being princesses and movie stars, she thought she'd very much like being a teacher. Or something equally as plausible. She never considered being a princess because she knew that that was something that you were born into, not something you aspired to be. She always knew she would have to settle for something.
But tonight she wasn't going to settle. Tonight was special. Beyond special, even. Tonight was the last night of her life.
As an adolescent she'd changed drastically. She never thought she would get to an age where rules weren't always meant to be followed. But there she'd been, a rule-breaker and a mischief-maker alongside her friends. She'd found that the world wasn't always black and white, that sometimes - most times - it was just gray, and you just had to find a point on the continuum that was the closest to white, and do the best you could. And she had. She had always done the best she could with what she was given.
But tonight she refused to do anything more. She was done. Sick of it all and in need of a break from everything that had always weighed on her, she lost herself in her mind. The world was upside-down, and she knew it. She saw s beautiful sunset on the horizon - just over the Forbidden Forest. The lake at Hogwarts sparkled with a dazzling array of colors, something she'd failed to notice in all her years there.
Lately things had been different. She never wanted to admit things were hard, because she was strong. She could handle anything, but her own worries plus the worries of all her friends were just too much for her. Especially tonight.
Tonight was the last night of her life.
She felt a hand on her back, sitting there as if it didn't know what to do, and she willed the sensation away. She wanted to keep staring at the sunset, at the lake, but in her world the hand wasn't there. It only served as a reminder of her dream, a dream she never should've indulged in, a dream she always wanted, never had.
"Hermione," a soft voice spoke into her ear. "We..." the voice trailed off as she felt the presence sit next to her. A soft whisper told her he'd waved someone else on, but she was still trying to ignore his presence. If she ignored the whole world...maybe...just maybe...it would go away.
She leaned into her companion, and he wrapped his arms around her. She could hear him sniff, but she had no tears. Her body was too tired and her soul too numb to cry.
The two of them sat there in silence, one holding the other until finally Hermione couldn't take her fantasy anymore. She couldn't ignore reality, she'd been fooling herself to think she could. She hated dreaming. She hated dreams. She hated reality and she hated Fate and she hated Voldemort and Harry and Ron and Ginny and all of them - she hated them.
She pulled away from the person holding her as she looked up at him with all the hatred she had in her. Her eyes met George's bloodshot ones and all her hatred disintegrated. She could never be mad at him, and seeing his usually bright face stained with tears was too much.
She looked around and saw everything as it was - dark. The empty castle gave off a creepy aura, daring anyone to go near it. The Forest was just a sea of black, and the lake gave off an eerie glow. She felt the darkness begin to consume her as she realized they were the only two left. It almost seemed like they were the only two left in the whole world.
Panic and hope rose in her body as she began to shake.
"Wh...whe...where is everyone?" She asked...maybe...maybe her imagination had gotten the best of her. Maybe none of it had happened at all. George sniffed and looked at her.
"Headquarters...the Burrow...inside. The Aurors had to go back to the Ministry with..." the unspoken words lingered in the air - the dead. And in that moment everything crashed around her.
She began to hyperventilate, looking around for escape - escape from the grounds, escape from the Wizarding World, escape from her life - but none came. She looked at George and began to cry. Silent tears streamed down her face as her uncontrollable breathing began to make her dizzy.
He inched towards her, his arms out in invitation and she fell into him. She sobbed into his chest as she remembered the scene in vivid detail - she'd seen Ron fall, then Ginny...Ginny, who shouldn't have been there in the first place but was too hard-headed to listen to anyone.
"But they're all gone...everything...everything's going to be okay" George whispered weakly. Hermione hadn't seen the final spells that ended the battle. She heard violent screams come from all directions as the Death Eaters that had cornered her fell, clutching their forearms in agonizing pain. She'd whirled around in time only to see Harry collapse. She remembered running to him...
The sights and sounds came back so clearly she almost felt as if she were there. She began to scream again, but felt George's arms tighten around her, grounding her. Ironic how she'd never had an imagination, and yet now she wasn't able to see reality. All she could see was Harry, laying on the ground he loved so much. All she could feel was his cold neck as she pressed two fingers against him, praying for a pulse. All she remembered was the sickening realization that everyone that ever loved her, save her parents, was dead.
She sobbed into George's arms and he held her tight. They sat there until dawn began to peek over the trees in the distance and finally, when she had no more tears to cry and a headache the size of a small continent, she looked up at him and sniffed.
He brushed some hair off of her face and looked into her eyes. They were tired, and they were grieving, but at that moment...Hermione knew they would survive. She let her own hand wander up to his face, hoping to God the rest of his family was still alive. She'd never really seen him as an individual before, more as part of a package, a duo, but staying back like this when all she'd wanted was to be left alone...she couldn't imagine anyone else just knowing that like George Weasley.
And she knew she didn't have to dream anymore. She didn't even have to think about dreaming anymore. Because dreams don't come true. Reality was what she had, and reality was what she was going to deal with.
And the reality of it was...George was there for her, and somehow she knew he always would be. And somehow, she knew that tonight...tonight probably wasn't the last night of her life. ...Maybe it was the first.