Knack

Iroh discovers something amusingly peculiar as he examines his complex nephew's bad habit. Implied Zutara.

"Zuko," Iroh spoke with a tinge of disappointment, "Has a knack for leaving women." Refilling his empty teacup, the old general waved the steam away with his hand, and took another sip.

He wasn't particularly speaking to anyone; in fact, he was the only one sitting at a table of Ba Sing Se's finest teashop. The store had long been closed for the night, and the old timer was simply rewarding himself for a day's worth of hard work with a few cups of herbal tea.

In his solitude, Iroh began to verbally muse on about anything and everything that came into mind. And since his nephew had abruptly dashed off earlier that afternoon (leaving most of the teashop duties to fall on himself), Iroh's topic contemplation led to his nephew's terrible habit of abandoning women.

"Not that I am a woman," Iroh corrected himself, inwardly laughing and his self-conversation, "But that boy needs to get some sense knocked into him!"

Iroh had always thought that Zuko would eventually adapt the General's skill in female flattery. He'd always assumed that with enough exposure to well-written pick-up lines and gentlemanly-smoothness, Zuko would learn to imitate his uncle in due time.

Now that the boy was nearing seventeen and showing no signs of attraction to the female species, Iroh was beginning to worry.

Or rather, he was beginning to get annoyed.

"The array of lovely girls surrounding him…and he can't even stay in a decent conversation with them without running away like a rabbit-dog with its tail between its legs! Bah! Where did I go wrong?"

Iroh took a hard gulp-down of steamy tea and sighed. It wasn't as if he had suspicions that Zuko swung the other way, or any of that farfetchedness. Zuko most definitely had hormones which were very much swinging the right way, Iroh knew that much. But one of the things that most baffled the General was the fact that his nephew was given ample opportunity to find a lady-friend on his journey, and not once had he taken initiative.

"Take that medicine girl, for instance." Iroh said, pounding his fist on the wooden table. "The girl was practically oogling him during that dinner they prepared for us. And she was quite the looker, if I must say so myself."

Another sip.

"And what does he do? Not only does he leave her that very night… he has the nerve to steal her ostrich horse! Agni, help him."

Iroh affirmed the safety of the vicinity before firebending some heat back into the tea. If he was going to rant on about his nephew's frustrating peculiarity, he might as well do it over a boiling hot cup of jasmine goodness.

"Then that perfectly matched date I had set up with the teahouse girl! May Ozai pluck my aging liver out and kill me—why did that idiot nephew of mine run away!? That romantically-challenged boy wouldn't know a good catch if it kissed him in the face…"

By now, Iroh was getting quite heated in his self discussion of his nephew's imbecility. All the women who had shown such an obvious interest in him were all abandoned, all left coughing in the dust of Zuko's tracks…and Iroh couldn't understand why. Even the (psycho) Mai girl who was friends with (demon child) Azula had shown some sort of emotional expression when it came to Zuko's presence. And even when he had the girl was right on top of him, he what?

Ran away.

Iroh was downright fed up. If he could not help Zuko, then there was not a hell of a chance that anything else could. The boy would be doomed to a fate of bitterness, loneliness, regret, and dull bingo nights with the elderly single men of the Fire Nation.

What a horrible, horrible sentence.

Iroh took another sip, his last of the evening, and decided that it was quite a long night.

Moments before heading out the door, the teashop owner fluttered through the back room curtains.

"Oh, Mushi, you're still here. I permitted you to leave five minutes before closing…" the shop-keeper said kindly.

Iroh sighed.

"Yes, but my idiot nephew has ran off with the house keys and I have no place to wait for him except here."

The shopkeeper chuckled and shook his head.

"Ahh… Young love."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Your nephew," he replied, "He dashed off earlier during his shift, chasing a young maiden with tan skin, blue robes, and a long braid. Kept yelling 'Tell me where he is!'. Must be hip youth lingo for 'I love you, and I'm going to kill any man who gets in the way! '. Ahh…such youthful romance! Though, I'd never take your nephew to be a romantic at heart. "

Iroh was then hit with an electrifying bolt of realization.

"Anyway," the shopkeeper continued, " You don't need to come early tomorrow, since you're locked out of your own house. You can stay in here for as long as your nephew is out. Although, I must warn you, with them young people nowadays, he might be gone the entire night, if you know what I mean. Good night."

General Iroh chuckled deeply in his thoughts, completely forgetting the aggravated mood he was in. The Waterbender… He pondered. It was ironic how the women who all wanted Prince Zuko were left chasing after him. Yet, the one girl who despised his very presence ended up being the one he pursued. Of course, it had occurred to Iroh that his nephew's chase may have been for Avatar-bribing purposes, but it was funny how fate ironically kept their strings of existence in constant knot with one another.

Perhaps it would be the water tribe young lady who would eventually whip some sense back into Zuko's thick head, hard enough to make him realize that he was a seventeen-year-old young boy after all. Zuko would not be able to deny her beauty and skill forever, that one Iroh GUARANTEED.

Give it another kidnapping routine, bending battle, bounty hunter and a stolen necklace, and General Iroh was sure that the boy would not be able to resist the girl's charms.

Before the shopkeeper left the teahouse, Iroh followed him through the door.

"Actually," Iroh replied with a quirky smile, "I think I'll go purchase some quality vases next door. For house décor. You know, just in case my nephew brings home a lady friend."

Author's Mumbo Jumbo:

So this is set after Tales of Ba Sing Se, and in correspondence to my fanart "Meeting At the Teahouse". Supposedly, I pictured Katara and Zuko to be reunited NOT through a fight or a kidnapping, but simply through a meeting at the teahouse, when Katara discovers her waiter to be none other than the banished prince.

I thought about the whole fact that the three girls (Song, Jin, and Mai) who have a love interest in Zuko all end up being ditched by him. However, Katara, who seems to only want Aang's attention (depending on the P.O.V) is the one who Zuko ends up chasing (to capture the avatar). Meh, it's what the zutara fan in me wanted to believe. Anyway, this is a drabble… dunno if I'll have anymore. Enjoy.