The One with the Barcode

"Were out of milk," Roger announced, his head halfway through the refrigerator.

"I'm fine with juice," Mimi called from their bed, squirming in the sheets.

"Were out of that too," Roger called again.

"Well, what DO we have?"

"A jar of prunes and this weird green clump."

"Ew, that's still in there?" Mimi walked to the doorway.

Roger twirled around to face her, massively chewing on something. He swallowed.

"Not anymore."

Mimi scrunched her face in disgust.

"I think we need to go to the grocery," Mimi said, grabbing her coat.

"Okay," Roger agreed, licking his fingers. He stopped.

"Bathroom?"

"Yup," Roger put a hand over his mouth and ran to the loo.

(At the grocery)

"Roger. Stop."

Roger was running around and around the metal carousel that was the entrance of then grocery.

"But mommy! It's fun!" Roger teased, grabbing Mimi by the waist and burying his face in her neck.

Mimi laughed and pulled away, which literally tortured him. She grabbed the nearest pushcart and brought it to the frozen food section.

"I like having you here, it's not lonely like usual," Mimi said.

"Do you remember when you fit me into one of these baby holders and you were pushing me around?" Mimi laughed.

"Oh yeah. Good times, good times," Roger voice trailed off.

"Let's try that again."

"Wha...?"

Roger instantly picked Mimi up and she started fussing.

"Price check on this bottle of hot sauce!" Roger joked.

"1.50!" some random sales clerk yelled.

Mimi and Roger looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"Wow, you're cheap," Roger said.

Mimi punched him on the shoulder and squirmed to jump from his arms.

"Well, there's something you don't see everyday," Mark said, coming up with a box of mint Oreos wedged under his arm.

"Oh wait, it IS something I see everyday."

"Just not near chickens with frozen asses," Mimi snorted.

Roger put her down.

"Mint Oreos," he observed. "Wise choice."

"CAPTAIN CRUNCH!"

"SUGAR POPS!"

"CAPTAIN CRUNCH!"

"SUGAR POPS!"

"Jo and Mo," the three said at the same time.

"CAPTAIN CRUNCH!"

"SUGAR POPS IS CHEAPER!"

"THERE'S A FREE TOY IN THE CAPTAIN CRUNCH BOX!"

Roger came up with a box.

"Kellogg's Frosted Flakes – cheap, free toy and Tony the Tiger is cool," he said.

Mo and Jo glared at each other.

"Fine," they grumbled.

"But Captain Crunch is still sexier," Maureen mumbled.

Then, Collins and Angel came up, Collins eating corn chips.

"Yo bitches, try this! It's awesome!" he said, extending the bag.

Everyone took a handful.

"I told you to try it, not finish it," he said, tossing the empty bag behind his shoulder and opening a new one.

"Colly, did you even pay for those yet?" Angel asked, looking at Collins' full basket.

Collins grinned. "I'll keep my mouth shut if you guys do."

"You just might beep when you leave," Angel laughed.

Collins' eyes grew wide. "I did swallow a barcode by mistake."

Everybody laughed.

(At the packed goods aisle)

"Noodles," Mimi said, looking at a list.

Roger found their special brand and threw it to Mimi wit his back turned. She caught it without looking up. She tossed it in the cart. They could've done this blindfolded.

The cycle repeated.

"Sausages."

Find-Throw-Catch-Put in cart. It was an amazing sight and Mark filmed it all in awe,

"Raisins."

Find-Throw-Catch-Put in cart.

"Oatmeal."

Find-Throw-Catch-Put in cart.

"Eggs, and don't throw it..."

Find-Throw-Duck-SPLAT!

"Meems! Why didn't you catch it?" Roger exclaimed unbelievably.

"I said don't throw it!" Mimi defended herself.

Mark wiped egg yolk from his glasses.

"Scrambled eggs, anyone?"

(At the junk food aisle)

"Oooh!"

Collins grabbed a bag and started munching.

"Colly, at least try to hide the bag in your coat or something," Angel teased, shaking her head in amusement.

"Gelly, taste this! It's so good!" Collins thrust the bag into Angel's face.

"You said that with the last 3 bags, Colly," Angel laughed.

"Oooh!"

Collins switched to another bag.

"HEY! No eating!"

"Uh-oh," Angel muttered.

"RUN!" Collins yelled.

They ran away, and while running, Collins still managed to eat.

"Oooh, this is GOOD!"

(Vegetable section)

"I don't belong here," Maureen said, feeling conscious.

"Maureen, stop being silly," Joanne rolled her eyes.

"They're staring at me," Maureen whined, tearing her eyes from a stalk of broccoli which Joanne tossed in the cart with all her healthy foods.

"It's just because you're not used to it," Joanne explained.

"Chips were always nice; I think I can hear them calling my name!"

Maureen slipped away unnoticed and came back with her arms loaded in junk.

"Maureen, NO! Unhealthy!"

"Shhh!" Maureen covered the bags' "ears." "They might hear you!"

"Put the bags back, Maureen," Joanne and her vegetable army advanced.

"No you can't make me!: Maureen cried, clutching her junk good for dear life. "Come any closer and I'll make this display fall!"

"Mo, just hand me the Cheetos, Doritos and Fritos and back away from the napkin stack."

Maureen stuck out a finger, threatening o push the top layer of the napkin display.

Joanne threw the broccoli away.

"I'll let you buy the Cheetos," Joanne coaxed.

"Put the Doritos in and I'll cooperate."

(At the cashier line)

"The dreaded cashier lines," Mimi pursed her lips to the side of her face.

Roger surveyed the countless lines.

"I see a short one in the end!" he announced.

Mimi immediately shot of expertly, but someone got there first.

"GAR."

The person turned around and it was someone they never wanted to see.

"Ha! I beat you to it, Fifi!" Allison Grey spat.

"It's MIMI," Mimi said through fitted teeth.

"Same difference," Allison cocked her head to the side like it didn't matter.

Mimi scowled.

"There's about to be a girlfight," Roger mumbled to Mark.

(another cashier)

"…10 off all cosmetics, 20 off on Kellogg's products and 5 off on Goober's Peanut Butter."

Collins turned out his pockets and gave the cashier lady his millions of cut out coupons.

"Is that all?" she asked impassively.

"Wait."

Collins pulled one out of his shoe.

"30 off on foot cream."

(yet another cashier)

"Maureen, where did the tootsie rolls come from?" Joanne raised a brow.

"I have nothing to do with that!"

Colins, in the next cashier, poked his head between he two.

"But I do," he rinned.

Angel rolled her eyes mockingly.

"WE'RE NOT TROUGH, GREY!" Mimi, who was being dragged by Roger and Mark, shoted.

"Not worth it, baby," Roger assured her.

"I could SO take her!" Mimi declared to everyone.

No one dared counter that statement.

"UGH."

"Mark, is that a new edible hair gel?" Maureen asked. She stuck a finer in Mark's hair and licked it.

"Eggs! Yummy!"

"People can make it big selling egg-flavored hair gel," Mark nodded.

"Jo, do you mind just joining our groceries with yours?"

"Sure."

"OH!" Collins stopped the cashier lady.

"Ours too."

"Ohkay," Joanne scratched her head.

"Coupons," Collins persuaded, raising his brows twice.

"Credit Card," Joanne mimicked.

"Rich bitch," Collins laughed.

"THAT'S HIM! HE WAS EATING!" a man pointed to Collins.

"Drat."

:arrest all of them!"

"Why is it that whenever we're together, we always end up getting arrested?" someone piped up.

"That's why we're such good runners," Collins grinned.

The Bohemians scurried off, leaving groceries and worthless coupons behind them. The guards ran after them.

BEEP! BEEP!

"Collins, just give back the bag!"

"I don't gots anything!"

They looked at each other.

"You were serious about eating that barcode?!"

He nodded in embarrassment. They all coughed in disgust.

"JUST RUN!"

They obeyed.

"Sorry!" Collins yelled. "I'll return the barcode in 2 days or so!"

"I think they'd want you to keep the barcode, sweetie," Angel said, pulling him away.