Title: Phallic
Universe: Reborn
Theme/Topic: Chocolate Bananas (sort of)
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing/s: YamaxGoku, Reborn, Tsuna
Warnings/Spoilers: Erm, not anything concrete, I guess. Except maybe the choco banana part, but it's not even that important. Unless you're a yaoi fangirl. XD Also, OOC and CRACK and STUPIDITY. And Lameness, since I'm never really funny anyway. XD;;
Word Count: 370
Summary: Tsuna gets a crash course in observational analysis from Reborn.
Dedication: requested by kshi on my Reborn/Holic meme—I'M SORRY I'M STILL LEARNING OK? ;;
A/N: HAHAHA I AM STUPID and still don't know what I'm doing in this universe, but at least it's stupid fun. XD;;
Disclaimer: Not mine, though I wish constantly.
Distribution: Just lemme know.

---

Tsuna, wide-eyed and shaking, murmured a pathetic sort of, "Oh, excuse me," before shutting the door and turning to Reborn. After a moment, he took a deep breath. "Did I just hallucinate that?"

Reborn just nibbled on his chocolate covered banana, nonplussed. "I hear it's a fairly legitimate way teenagers pass their time at festivals like these."

Tsuna blinked. "Yeah…but…but… I didn't even know Gokudera liked Yamamoto like that! He's always trying to blow…" pause, shift, "er… make him explode!" Pause. Sigh. "You know what I mean."

"I'm disappointed in your inability to make even the most simple character deductions," the hitman responded, and didn't bother to comfort Tsuna at all, even after his very traumatizing exposure to a bathroom full of pants-around-the-ankles horror.

"WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MY ABILITY AT ALL!" Tsuna complained, in what he thought was a legitimate manner, "THIS WAS COMPLETELY OUT OF THE BLUE!"

Reborn eyed him.

"Things Gokudera doesn't like," he began, slowly. "Tell me if they're long or round."

"Uh… okay."

"Lambo."

"Er…round?"

"Bianchi."

"Er…roundish?"

"Cookies."

"Round. But those were…"

Reborn drew his gun.

Tsuna sighed. "Round. They were round."

Reborn cocked his gun. "Faster now. Things Gokudera likes. Tell me if they're long or round."

Tsuna paled.

"Dynamite."

"Long."

"Choccolate covered bananas."

"Long."

"Guns."

"Long."

"Knives."

"Long."

"Yamamoto."

"…long?"

Reborn let that sink in for a moment.

"Oh," Tsuna breathed, after that moment was up. "Oh."

Reborn finished his chocolate covered banana then, completely nonchalant. He shouldered his gun.

Tsuna blushed just thinking about it.

As if on cue, the far wall of the bathroom began to shake, just imperceptibly. Tsuna really wouldn't even have noticed except for the very loud string of curse words that accompanied it.

He stared. Blushed even redder. "Okay, I'm not surprised about that part or anything… Gokudera's alway kind of had a dirty mouth sometimes, but I mean… do they have to be that loud about it?"

Reborn looked up at his charge, unimpressed times a billion now. "You really don't know anything, do you?"

"What?" Tsuna asked, nervously.

The baby shook his head, just as another particularly punctuated cry emanated from the dark bathroom behind them.

Tsuna's eyes widened in horror.

"Yamamoto?"

END