"Exit light.
Enter night.
Take my hand
We're off to Never Never Land"
(Enter Sandman by Metallica)
As I write this, I know that it will not be long before I discover the secrets that lay beyond this existence. I go willingly. My time on this earth has been short, but fulfilling. I have but three treasures to leave behind; my sons. They have grown well and I am proud of them all. I also, take with me, one regret. Time has not erased the pain that the death of my fourth son caused me. Time has not erased the guilt.
I am probably one of millions of parents that wished children came with a set of instructions. It was not easy in those early years. I had no experience, no knowledge which to draw from. You would perhaps think that I panicked at every cold or injury. No, those things were trivial compared to the deep panic that I felt whenever I considered what would happen if one of them were discovered. It sometimes ate away at me, and other times I could force it to the very depths of my subconscious. But it was always there.
It was that panic that drove me into making them the very best ninja that I could. It was not only to avenge the death of my master, but their survival depended on it. And it was that panic that killed, if indirectly, my son.
I would ask to whoever reads these pages, that you be kind when judging my actions. You may believe that I was unnecessarily harsh. That perhaps I twisted the mind of my young and impressionable son. But what I did was only to protect them. I had the best of intentions.
When my sons became seven years of age, I granted them a bit more freedom. Up until then they had not been permitted to leave our lair without me. But I knew that they needed more room to run and play than our small home granted them. I, however, set strict boundaries that they were all aware of. I am not naïve and I knew that they would test the limits. The consequences the first time were enough to sway Leonardo and Donatello.
Michaelangelo and Raphael were another story.
The two of them were virtually inseparable. They were always getting into some sort of mischief. But one day they came home...
Michaelangelo was crying and shaking and Raphael looked extremely pale.
I jumped from the chair where I had been reading and pulled them both closer to me. "What has happened? Where are Leonardo and Donatello?"
No sooner were the words out of my mouth then Leonardo and Donatello both came running in. "Master!" Leonardo said. "We lost Mikey and Raph...uh..." He trailed off at seeing his two brothers. "Are you guys ok?"
I forced Raphael and Michaelangelo to look at me and asked again. "What has happened?"
The two glanced at each other for a moment nervously before Raphael stammered. "Master...some...someone saw me."
The others gasped and I forced back the panic that rose to my mind. Forcing calm, I asked. "Tell me what happened. Was it a worker in the sewers?"
Raphael hesitated and that's when I knew; they had ventured to the surface.
"The two of you went above!?" I demanded somewhat forcefully.
I heard Leonardo and Donatello gasp and Michaelangelo started crying again.
"I'm sorry," Raphael said quickly. "It was just me. Mikey didn't go. I went by myself. I'm sorry sensei."
I closed my eyes and counted to ten. First in Japanese and then in English. Raphael's brothers were staring at him in disbelief that he would break such an important rule.
I opened my eyes. "Leonardo, go and get what candles we have and the matches from the drawer." My son ran to obey and returned a moment later with the two candles. "Listen to me carefully. I am going to make sure Raphael was not followed. Turn off all of the lights when I leave and do not turn them back on until I return. Go to your rooms and stay there. Keep your voices low." I gave them each a hug. Raphael hung back for a moment but I pulled him into my arms.
"I'm sorry Master," he whispered.
I took his chin and tilted his head to look at me. "We will discuss this when I return."
I left them knowing my instructions will be followed; including special instructions that I had given Leonardo long ago in case I never return.
Enter night.
Take my hand
We're off to Never Never Land"
(Enter Sandman by Metallica)
As I write this, I know that it will not be long before I discover the secrets that lay beyond this existence. I go willingly. My time on this earth has been short, but fulfilling. I have but three treasures to leave behind; my sons. They have grown well and I am proud of them all. I also, take with me, one regret. Time has not erased the pain that the death of my fourth son caused me. Time has not erased the guilt.
I am probably one of millions of parents that wished children came with a set of instructions. It was not easy in those early years. I had no experience, no knowledge which to draw from. You would perhaps think that I panicked at every cold or injury. No, those things were trivial compared to the deep panic that I felt whenever I considered what would happen if one of them were discovered. It sometimes ate away at me, and other times I could force it to the very depths of my subconscious. But it was always there.
It was that panic that drove me into making them the very best ninja that I could. It was not only to avenge the death of my master, but their survival depended on it. And it was that panic that killed, if indirectly, my son.
I would ask to whoever reads these pages, that you be kind when judging my actions. You may believe that I was unnecessarily harsh. That perhaps I twisted the mind of my young and impressionable son. But what I did was only to protect them. I had the best of intentions.
When my sons became seven years of age, I granted them a bit more freedom. Up until then they had not been permitted to leave our lair without me. But I knew that they needed more room to run and play than our small home granted them. I, however, set strict boundaries that they were all aware of. I am not naïve and I knew that they would test the limits. The consequences the first time were enough to sway Leonardo and Donatello.
Michaelangelo and Raphael were another story.
The two of them were virtually inseparable. They were always getting into some sort of mischief. But one day they came home...
Michaelangelo was crying and shaking and Raphael looked extremely pale.
I jumped from the chair where I had been reading and pulled them both closer to me. "What has happened? Where are Leonardo and Donatello?"
No sooner were the words out of my mouth then Leonardo and Donatello both came running in. "Master!" Leonardo said. "We lost Mikey and Raph...uh..." He trailed off at seeing his two brothers. "Are you guys ok?"
I forced Raphael and Michaelangelo to look at me and asked again. "What has happened?"
The two glanced at each other for a moment nervously before Raphael stammered. "Master...some...someone saw me."
The others gasped and I forced back the panic that rose to my mind. Forcing calm, I asked. "Tell me what happened. Was it a worker in the sewers?"
Raphael hesitated and that's when I knew; they had ventured to the surface.
"The two of you went above!?" I demanded somewhat forcefully.
I heard Leonardo and Donatello gasp and Michaelangelo started crying again.
"I'm sorry," Raphael said quickly. "It was just me. Mikey didn't go. I went by myself. I'm sorry sensei."
I closed my eyes and counted to ten. First in Japanese and then in English. Raphael's brothers were staring at him in disbelief that he would break such an important rule.
I opened my eyes. "Leonardo, go and get what candles we have and the matches from the drawer." My son ran to obey and returned a moment later with the two candles. "Listen to me carefully. I am going to make sure Raphael was not followed. Turn off all of the lights when I leave and do not turn them back on until I return. Go to your rooms and stay there. Keep your voices low." I gave them each a hug. Raphael hung back for a moment but I pulled him into my arms.
"I'm sorry Master," he whispered.
I took his chin and tilted his head to look at me. "We will discuss this when I return."
I left them knowing my instructions will be followed; including special instructions that I had given Leonardo long ago in case I never return.