Hello! We all know Ed HATES milk. He loathes it. It gross white juice secreted from a cow. But why does Ed hate milk? When did it all start? Well, folks, this is a true E Hollywood story ('E' as in Ed) of how Ed came to hate milk.

Disclaimer: FMA is not mine!

Why Ed REALLY hates milk

Roy and Ed sat at the kitchen table, enjoying their breakfast. Roy's drink of choice: milk. Ed's drink of choice: orange juice. Roy knew Ed hated milk. But he never knew why. At first he thought that Ed might not like the taste, or because it was squeezed from cows, but according to Al Ed used to drink milk when they were little. So why does Ed hate milk?

"Ed." Ed looked up at his lover. "Yeah?" he said, taking a drink of orange juice. "Why do you hate milk?" he said, staring at the blond curiously. Ed glared at him. "We've been over this a MILLION times. It's gross white juice secreted from a cow!" he yelled, flailing his arms. Roy sweat-dropped. "I know, but Al tells me you USED to like milk, so obviously something happened to make you hate it." he said, pulling Ed into his lap. He yelped and quickly grabbed onto Roy for support.

Ed glared at him again, then buried his head in Roy's chest. "I don't wanna talk about it," he mumbled, looking away. Roy just smiled and pulled his chin up so that their eyes met. "Oh, come on. Tell me. Pleeaase?" Roy begged, resting his head on Ed's shoulder. Ed sighed, look at the camera and glared. "Sometimes I question who the older one is…"

Ed sighed and looked at Roy. "Fine…I'll tell you. It all started one day when me and Al were little…"

---Flashback---

"Al! Come on, let's go!" Ed yelled as he ran down the country road. Al laughed and ran to catch up with him. "Wait for me, brother!" he yelled, then suddenly stopped. "What is it, Al?" Ed said, coming back down the road to see what was stopping his brother. He walked over and saw what was to be expected. A kitten. "Al, no. You know we can't keep him," Ed said, turning to walk away. "Brother, how could you! It's a poor, defenseless kitty!" Al said, comic tears running down his face. Ed sighed. He then walked over and picked up the kitten. "Al, this cat probably belongs to someone anyways and-" suddenly Ed stopped. Al just looked at him. "Brother…?" Ed put the kitten down and began scratching.

"Ah! I'm itchy!" he shouted as he began scratching furiously. The kitty ran away (not before Al shouted 'Wait, kitty! Don't LEAVE!') and Ed continued his scratching. "Brother! What's wrong?" Al said, quickly coming over. "I think that cat gave me a rash!" he said. "Brother, we'd better go home and tell mom," Al said. Ed nodded and they headed home.

"Hmm, well Ed, it seems as though you have hives," their mother said, smiling. She had duct taped oven mitts on Ed's hands to keep him from scratching. "The kitty gave me hives!?!" he yelled. "I think we're going to have to give you a milk bath," she said. "Come on, let's go outside and get you in the tub."

"What? A MILK bath? Eww, that's gross! Milk is for drinking, not bathing in, mom!" Ed said, trying to run away. "Come on, you have to do this or the hives won't go away," she said, dragging him outside. "NO! Al, help me!" he yelled as he gripped the door frame, almost ripping off the trim. Al just sweat-dropped and followed them outside.

The next two hours consisted of Ed screaming, being forced into a tub full of milk, and being traumatized. But after all that, his hives still didn't go away. The next day Ed was still itching. "Oh dear. Was it a milk bath for hives, or dry skin…?" she thought out loud herself. Ed had a seizure and Al sighed.

---End flashback---

"And that's why I hate milk!" Ed yelled, slamming his head on the table. Roy began laughing hysterically. Ed just glared at him and got up. "I'm going to take a shower…and if you try to join me, I'll drown you in a milk bath," he said, disappearing off to the bathroom. Roy shuddered and went back to drinking his milk. Suddenly he didn't want it so much…

So? I know, kinda pointless but NOW YOU KNOW! Please read my other stories and join my site! Edxroysanctuary.proboards82 .com!