"Where do you want me to put this thing?"
Yuko-san pointed to a spot behind her without lifting her head.
Watanuki, dragging corpse-Doumeki the last couple of feet towards that spot, sat him down and leaned him against a wall. They were all currently in the back of the shop, where the well sat and the wet laundry was hung out to dry.
He noticed how gray and morose the sky appeared today, and Watanuki hoped that the weather would hold out until they were finished with whatever they had to do here.
"So what do I do next?" Watanuki asked, as he got up from his stoop next to corpse-Doumeki and walked over to her. He saw no way around helping out with Doumeki's resurrection, and it could only benefit him, as the faster they got this over with, the faster he got his privacy time.
Yuko-san smiled at him, like he'd just sold his soul to her for a second time, but this time around without any compensation on her part. Then with an elegant gesture, she pointed to Doumeki's corpse, without looking again, and told him, "I need you to strip Doumeki please."
"Excuse me?" Watanuki asked, and he looked very calm when he said it, which meant he hadn't heard what Yuko-san had asked him to do. Doumeki didn't think he'd heard Yuko-san very well either, because she couldn't have asked--
"Please strip down Doumeki-kun's physical body," She repeated without batting an eyelash.
Watanuki took off his glasses (still very abnormally calm), cleaned them with the bottom of his shirt, put them back on, and then promptly threw himself down at Yuko-san's feet.
"DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS PLEASE! I SAID I'D DO ANYTHING TO BRING THAT BASTARD BACK, BUT THERE'S A LINE THAT NO PERSON SHOULD HAVE TO CROSS. I HAVE PRIDE. DON'T MAKE ME GIVE UP MY PRIDE! IT'S THE ONLY THING I HAVE IN THIS CRUEL WORLD!"
There was a 'hmph' sound at the word 'pride' from behind Watanuki, and the boy turned from his loud sobbing to fiercely glare at the archer.
Doumeki was unfazed by the glaring, even if it felt like there was a hole currently being burned into his skull--none of that mattered in the greater scheme of Watanuki having to undress him…heh.
"PLEASE!" Watanuki pivoted back around, like his neck was made out of spring, and gripped onto his employer's dress. "YOU CAN'T! I'M SO INNOCENT! WHY MUST YOU TAKE MY INNOCENCE AWAY?!"
Yuko-san coolly looked down and tried to nudge Watanuki away with her heel, so he wouldn't wrinkle the fabric on her kimono.
"Doumeki's body must go through physical cleansing, just as his soul must go through spiritual purification to be one with his body again. It is a simple task Watanuki, but if you do not wish to do this then I suggest you get used to Doumeki haunting you."
"NO" Watanuki cried softly, and big tear drops were on his eyelashes. "I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO IT!" He looked for sympathy from his employer and the older woman, stooping down next to him, put her hand on his shoulder and said, "Then try and try again."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOO!"
Even if he was used to Watanuki's frightening outburst, that one surely took the cake.
Doumeki was quite certain everyone on the planet now knew of Watanuki's dilemma-- Not that he cared, Watanuki would still have to undress him either way and that was all that mattered in the end.
Watanuki, sniffling and rubbing at his face, turned pleading, saucer-sized eyes on him next. "Doumeki" he sobbed, "tell her this is too much. This is an invasion of your privacy."
His privacy? Hmm, that was rich. Watanuki could invade his privacy (private parts…whatever) all he wanted. He wouldn't mind one bit.
"You understand, right?" Watanuki crawled over and held his ankle in a deathgrip. His eyes were full of water and his cheeks were red, his mouth was trembling and it wouldn't take much too make him burst into tears again.
"Do whatever Yuko-san says."
--Too bad Watanuki looked adorable when he cried.
There was a half an hour of hiccups, sniffling, outright shrieking and prayer. If someone had passed by, they would have sworn a funeral was taking place in Yuko-san's backyard, or preparations for one, as Watanuki's screams were racking up the scale of bloody murder.
"PLEASE!!" He begged Yuko-san and the woman looked at him without a speck of compassion.
"I don't have all day, Watanuki." She tapped her foot impatiently and cleaned one of her nails with her thumb. "I could always resched-"
"NO!" Watanuki jumped up from his dead sprawl and looked her right in the eyes. It seemed when faced with the very real possibility of having ghost-Doumeki for another week, Watanuki would rather brave naked-Doumeki.
A firm look crossed his face. "I'll…" he said under his breath, which was quite a change from the shrieking and shouting. "I'll…I'll do it." At his acquiesce, his shoulders instantly sagged and all the fight seemed to be dragged out of him.
He walked over to Doumeki's physical body, like it was the execution chair. He took one last pleading look at Yuko-san, but the woman shook her head gravely, like there was nothing she could do to help him.
Doumeki, who was standing to the side, thought he should be offended by the grave manner in which these two were treating the act of stripping him, but since he was how he was, it actually took a lot to offend him. And really, he was too busy getting himself a good seat for the upcoming show.
Watanuki sat down in front of his physical body, reached out a hand, and then quickly pulled it back. "I'm having second thoughts." Watanuki tried to back pedal away from him, but someone (Doumeki) nudged (pushed) him back in his original spot.
"I'M SCARED!" He shouted, and it was the first time he'd openly admitted being frightened. Ghosts and every type of spiritual entity could sneak up and attack him, and he had always put on a brave front, but one word of naked-Doumeki and he was crying, and pleading, and yelling out "I'm scared!" at the top of his lungs.
"I think I'll go get something to drink," Yuko-san said to no one in particular, and Watanuki turned back around and aimed a terrified look at the woman.
"NO! I can…" Yuko and Doumeki waited for him to finish his sentence.
"I can't do this." Watanuki finished and slumped forward. He took one look at slumbering Doumeki and he began to inch away. "This is intimidating."
"Oh well, next time then…"
"NO! I CAN DO THIS!" Watanuki slapped both his palms over his cheeks. Resolve now burned in his eyes (It was a yellow color) and he straightened his posture, sitting upright and almost heroically in front of them. "It's like undressing a puppet--or a manikin. Yeah, a manikin. A Doumeki-manikin," he breathed and reached a hand out tentatively towards Doumeki's corpse.
He got one button undone and then stopped, took a deep breath, and then unbuttoned another. "Not so hard. This is easy. I can do this," he chanted to himself.
Doumeki, enjoying the view of Watanuki undressing him (when would he ever get the chance to say those words again) wondered if he could milk this situation for more than it was worth.
"Does he have to get naked too?" Doumeki asked Yuko-san.
Yuko-san smirked at him and then gave him a look that plainly said, 'You're pushing your luck.'
Eh…he tried.
"Not so bad. I can do this." Watanuki had practically hypnotized himself with this mantra, but Doumeki was pretty sure reality would catch up with him fast when he had to work on something that wasn't his shirt.
Watanuki slipped the shirt off of him, while trying not to look, but his eyes ended up looking anyway and he suddenly had a very embarrassed, shifty expression on his face.
He folded the shirt methodically to get his mind away from…shirtless Doumeki (which apparently looked good shirtless…!)
--Watanuki slapped himself across the face and finished folding the shirt.
"Don't forget my pants," Doumeki said helpfully, and now right behind him.
He had moved to get a closer look of the blush on Watanuki's face, and the boy, not expecting to have spirit-Doumeki so close, jumped forward and ended up hugging Doumeki's physical body--shirtless! Let's not forget he was shirtless.
Watanuki quickly fell back and crab-scuttled away from the shirtless…god why couldn't he focus on anything else, but the shirtless-ness?
"Pants," Doumeki reminded him, and Watanuki was this close to turning around and kicking him in the mouth, but then it occurred to him--
He would have to take off Doumeki's pants.
"Meep," Watanuki cried in a pathetically, small voice. He stared at the dreaded belt buckle and his hands fisted in his own pants leg.
…But he had to remind himself that this was for the good of getting his life back. Plus, Doumeki was a guy. They were both guys. They had the same parts. This wasn't anything he couldn't handle.
Watanuki, with his mind now made up, grabbed the belt buckle and began to unclasp it without hesitation.
Doumeki raised an eyebrow at this turn of events, as he watched Watanuki's quick methodical motions that soon had him divested off his belt. He then set the belt aside and began to unfasten his pants and unzip him.
Watanuki looked up when it was time to pull his pants down, his slender fingers hooking in the belt loops and starting to tug them down. Watanuki turned his head in Doumeki's direction and there was a look of utter triumph on his face. An unusual kind of triumph that bellowed out, 'I undressed you and I did it and I so won whatever the hell it was we were fighting over in my head and take that Doumeki's clothes!'
However, Doumeki was not the sort of person that lost, and in concerns to the boy next to him and grinning in triumph, this principle was even more valid. Watanuki should only victoriously grin at him when he'd completely gotten all his clothes off.
There was a focused look on Watanuki's face, as he realized that in order to get Doumeki's pants completely off, he would have to move a little closer and lift him up slightly. And so, wrapping an around Doumeki's waist, Watanuki began to blindly struggle with raising Doumeki up the necessary amount of space, while his head was up in the air and intently admiring a passing cloud that looked kind of like…shirtless Doumeki!!!
"AH!" Watanuki suddenly shouted, and ended up practically falling in Doumeki's lap, which scared him many times over, considering that his rival was naked.
Doumeki was intently patting himself down for his camera (eyes still locked on the vision of Watanuki in his naked lap) but gave that up when he heard Watanuki make a thoroughly violated sound, before clawing away from his corpse and letting out a high pitched: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOO!"
There was one more "O" than the last time, so Doumeki could tell from this that Watanuki had brushed up against a certain part of his anatomy when he'd fallen into his lap. There really was no other explanation for that extra "O."
Watanuki, quickly ripping of his pants and boxers, eyes to the sky and mouth busy in prayer, dropped everything and suddenly ran out of the backyard like his ass was on fire.
After he had watched Watanuki jump the low gate and run into the front yard, Doumeki looked over to his naked corpse and thought, 'what a lucky bastard.'