Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

It needs guts to end things with someone you love so much. A lot of guts.

Even at the thought of it she would shiver and not because of the cold. But because of the fear. It was her worst nightmare. Some months earlier she wouldn't even have imagined that she could love someone so much, care about someone so much, need someone so much, miss someone so much. Much more, someone like him.

But she did. And she was glad. Because he did too. Or so he said. Every night she would pray so hard it was true that she almost fell asleep doing that. Stupid, really. God would have other more important issues to keep him busy with.

But it was killing her inside to even think that he might leave. That would mean that she would be all alone. Again. And she didn't want that. But did she have a choice? It was his decision, really. It completely and absolutely depended on him. Her whole damn life depended on him. She hated it. But she adored him.

Why did that happen to her all of a sudden? She had always been an individual and she could figure everything out. On her own. She relied on nobody and she needed nobody. It might not sound very good but it certainly was better than that.

Or not.

On the other hand she now had him. And he was the best thing that ever happened to her, as cliché as that may sound. She adored all the little things he did. Like coming over just to hug her or phoning her just to say he missed her. Or looking into her eyes and screaming everything he couldn't quite say out loud. Or simply saying he loved her with those beautiful lips of his. Then she would get that feeling in her stomach that she despised but also liked having. Because it meant that he was there.

She cried so hard these days. Their relationship was in a weird state now. They were weird. He was distant and would flap her hand away without even realizing it when she reached out for his. He hid things. He kept her out. Out of his heart. At the same moment she was giving him her all. Her everything. Herself.

Odd? Maybe.

Ok, he loved her. But he loved his dad too. Which one of them would he choose? Because eventually he would have to choose, no matter what.

She dreaded the moment that he would choose. She dreaded his choice. She dreaded rejection. She dreaded his big, fat, ugly "no".

Losing him would be the worst thing that could ever happen to her. Ever. He might as well put a gun at her head and kill her faster. Torture was never her cup of tea.

She didn't know what would happen next. And she couldn't do much about it. The only thing she could do was cry, put a bright smile on her face if he saw her and lie about her red eyes. And wait.

For her death.

Or her savior.

For his choice.