It was Sara's mother who answered the door, her eyes going straight to Sara. Over the past week, Sara had imagined this moment, trying to figure out what it would be like. She imagined her parents opening the door, spotting her and immediately regretting everything bad they had ever done to her, pull her into a big hug and apologize for the next hour.
Judging by the look on her mother's face, it wasn't going to be like that.
Sara's mother just stared at her, raised an eyebrow and exhaled.
"You got big, kid." She said, as she motioned them all inside. Sara swallowed hard as she followed her mother inside, Jesse and Becky right behind her.
She found herself in the living room, on a couch with Jesse and Becky seated beside her. Sara's mom, Allison, walked to the end of a staircase.
"Troy, they're here." She called up irritably. She took a seat in an armchair across from her daughter, and didn't look at her once. Sara shook her head, wanting to yell at her right there and then. How could you?
Troy, Sara's dad, came down the stairs and into the room seconds later, and his eyes went straight to Sara. He looked her up and down and raised an eyebrow.
"You're all grown up now, ain't ya?" He asked. Becky felt Jesse's hand tighten his grip at this. Both Jesse and Becky knew that Troy had sexually molested his daughter on more than one occasion, and the way he was looking at her now, Becky knew that Jesse wanted nothing more than to say something, or do something. Becky reassuringly gave her husband's hand a squeeze, as though to say "This will be over soon. He can't do anything to her while we're here."
Troy took a seat on the arm of Allison's chair, and both of them glanced at Becky and Jesse. Becky cleared her throat.
"Thank you so much for agreeing to see your daughter," Becky put a bit of a stronger emphasis on the last part, "She really wanted to see you." Allison raised an eyebrow, staring at Sara.
"Why?" She wanted to know. Sara felt a lump forming in her throat. She shook her head a little.
"Because you're my parents." She said quietly, in disbelief. How could they ask why?
Allison shot Troy a glance, and then looked back at Sara.
"So you saw us in the grocery store, huh? That's what that nosy social worker of yours told us, anyway." Allison said. Sara nodded.
"Yeah." She swallowed. "I didn't think you'd ever come back here."
"Yeah well neither did we, but Troy got a job here in the city that would pay the bills, so we moved back. Seems like nothing's changed around here though." Allison replied. Sara nodded. Allison rolled her eyes.
"Seriously, why'd you come here? Just to see us? I don't believe that for a second. You saw us in the grocery store. There's more to this little rendezvous. What is it?" She snapped. Sara felt her body tense, as her mother's voice hadn't changed one bit. It sounded exactly the same as the last time Sara had listened to her mother yell at her. She finally looked up.
"I..." She felt Becky glance at her, encouraging her to go on. "I want to know...why?"
"Why what?" Troy asked.
"Why you left me." Sara replied, feeling tears forming in her eyes. She did not want to cry in front of her parents. Not after what they did to her.
Troy and Allison exchanged glances, obviously not prepared for this question, but Troy finally opened his mouth.
"Look kid, don't take it so personally. I mean, hell, that was like ten years ago." He said. Sara felt her fists clench together.
"It was five years ago!" She said.
"We weren't ready to be parents, alright? It all happened so fast. God, it's not like I thought I would get Ally knocked up that one time. Damn condom broke. You weren't supposed to be there. We never planned to have kids. You just had to come along, and we didn't want any kids. Our lives were fine just the way they were." Troy replied, looking to Allison for confirmation. She nodded.
"God, Sara, you were just so needy. 'Mommy this and daddy that, and mommy play with me and daddy look at the picture I drew.' Honestly, you just couldn't occupy yourself. Too damn needy. I'm surprised we lasted as long as we did. I mean, you were already six when we left." She explained.
"I was eight!" Sara snapped.
"Whatever!" Allison threw her hands up in the air, and looked over at her husband. "Seems she's still that needy little kid she always was. 'Oh, there's mommy and daddy in the grocery store. I gotta see them." She laughed a little. Sara swallowed hard, as she glared at them, hurt by what she was hearing, but still not understanding. She went on.
"If you weren't ready to be parents, why didn't you just put me up for adoption from the start?" She asked. Troy shrugged.
"That kind of thing looks bad on a person." He said simply.
"Why'd you go and have another kid?" Sara asked, raising her voice a little and leaning forward. "If you weren't ready to be parents, then how could you have another kid after you just left me?" She felt Becky's hand on her back, assuring her she was doing fine, and they were still there for her.
"By the time Lisa came, we were ready to be parents. People change, you know." Allison said, checking her fingernails.
"If you were ready to be parents, then why didn't you try to find me? Your first daughter?" Sara yelled out, and Allison stared at her, wild-eyed and angry. Sara would recognize that look anywhere.
"Look, we did what we did, and it's over! Get over it! We did it, we moved on, I suggest you do the same. We don't regret a single decision we made, especially the one we made when we left you. Obviously nothing that bad happened to you. They found you and put you in an orphanage or something. It was a good decision. We never wanted you, that's all. Deal with it!" She yelled out, glaring at Sara with hatred in her eyes.
Sara stared straight ahead at her mother, at a loss for words. There was nothing more to say. She had heard it out of their own mouths. They weren't ready to be parents, and even when they were, they didn't care to look for her, or be her parents again. They never loved her, they never wanted her, there was no hope of them apologizing or becoming the parents she had always hoped they would be. Proud and loving.
The loss hit her like a ton of bricks. She looked over at Jesse and Becky, not knowing what else to do. Her whole body was shaking, from trying to keep herself from crying. This wasn't fair! How the hell could she have thought for even just a second that her parents would be anything different from what they had been? She felt stupid for ever thinking they could change.
"If I may say so, Mr. And Mrs. Stephenson, you both have made the worst decision you could have ever made. Sara is such an awesome kid, with lots of talent and potential. She's pretty, she's smart, she's friendly and she's caring. I don't know how you could have just left her there, to fend for herself, but you missed out, because she's an amazing girl, and we are very grateful to have her. And unlike you, we're going to take care of her, and love her until the day we die!" Jesse said, winking over at Sara, who offered a smile.
"Sara's been such a light to our lives, and we know that you've hurt her very deeply. But we're going to be with her every step of the way, growing with her, nurturing and loving her, which is something you could never have done for her. I really hope you won't do the same thing to your youngest daughter." Becky said quietly. Sara swallowed hard as Jesse and Becky stood, motioning Sara to do the same. They were obviously getting ready to leave, but as Sara stood, she turned to face her parents once more.
"I'm leaving. I won't be back, you'll never have to see me again, but I only want to ask you one more thing." Sara said quietly. Allison sighed out loud.
"What?" She asked.
"I want to meet my little sister." Sara replied.
Troy and Allison exchanged glances, and seemed to be whispering amongst themselves. Sara had a feeling they weren't going to let her, but Jesse spoke up.
"Honestly, it's the least you could do after everything you put this kid through." He said, a little angrily. Finally, Troy nodded.
"Alright, but you're waking her up from her nap so don't be surprised if she's cranky now." He got up and headed up the stairs. Sara stood silently, looking over at Jesse and Becky, who smiled back reassuringly. Sara had no idea what she was going to say to Lisa, who was only three years old. There was so much she wanted to say, but knew she wouldn't understand.
Finally, Sara heard a groggy little yawn, and looked up to see her dad carrying a little girl in a purple dress, who was resting her head on her dad's shoulder. Troy rustled Lisa's hair and gave her a kiss. Sara's eyes stung from holding in the tears. She didn't remember her dad ever kissing her.
Troy let Lisa down and as Lisa clung to her dad's leg, Sara knelt down on the ground.
"Hi Lisa, I'm Sara." She said quietly, as the little girl stared at Sara uncertainly, sucking on her thumb.
"Hi Sawa." Lisa replied shyly. "Like my doggie?" She held up a stuffed dog. Sara smiled.
"He's cute." She said.
"He name's Pokey. Mama gaved him to me." Lisa added, as she cuddled the animal close. "Wanna pet?" Lisa let go of her dad's leg and staggered forward, offering the stuffed dog to Sara. Smiling, Sara took it and stared at the little girl. It was looking at a childhood picture of herself. Lisa had the same dark hair, and chocolate brown eyes that she did. They also shared the same nose.
"Lisa, I can't stay long, I have to go, but I really wanted to meet you." Sara paused, not sure if Troy and Allison had told Lisa about her, but after everything they had put Sara through, she didn't care anymore. "See Lisa, I'm your big sister." Judging by the loud sigh that came from Allison, Sara was an unknown name in this household.
"Sister? Like Mole Sisters?" Lisa asked, chewing on her dog's ear. Sara smiled, recognizing the name of the cartoon show that Nikki and Alex watched.
"Yeah, kind of like the Mole Sisters, only we don't live together. But I want you to know that I'm glad we got to meet, and I hope we will again someday. And Lisa," She looked up rebelliously at her parents for a moment before she turned her eyes back to her sister, "I know you're too young to understand this, but I have to tell you anyway. Don't ever feel like you're not wanted, or that you're not loved okay? Because you'll always have a big sister out there who loves you very much. Okay?" Sara's heart was racing, her eyes were stinging and her head was spinning. This was all too much. She wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to go without letting herself cry.
"Kay sure Sawa. Mole sister." Lisa said with a giggle. Sara smiled as Troy lifted Lisa off the ground.
"Okay that's enough, back to bed Lazy Lisa." Lisa giggled as Troy took her back upstairs, snuggling her close. Lisa waved from over his shoulder and Sara waved back. Allison just watched Sara with a raised eyebrow, arms crossed.
"Come on Sara, it's time to go." Jesse said, laying his hand on her shoulder. Sara looked once more at the staircase, still hearing Lisa's giggles, and her dad laughing too. It was over. There was nothing more her parents could tell her. There was nothing more she wanted to hear. It was over.
Turning from her mother, Sara walked with Jesse and Becky out of the house. She didn't say anything to Allison, or to Troy, who had come back downstairs. There was nothing left to say. She knew, walking out of that house, that she would never see them again, or Lisa, for that matter. That hurt her more than anything.
"Sweetheart, I know that wasn't easy for you. We're very proud of you." Becky said, once they were in the car, driving away from the house.
"Yep, you said all the right things, and handled what they said very well." Jesse added. Sara's tears had already leaked over, and she was crying now, accepting Becky's tissue without hesitation.
"I just don't get it! Why didn't they want me? I mean, why did they want Lisa, but not me? What's wrong with me?" She cried out, wiping her eyes on the tissue. Becky turned around in her seat, staring at Sara seriously.
"Hey, I thought we talked about this, Sara. This isn't your fault. You did nothing to deserve what they did to you. You are absolutely amazing, and there is nothing wrong with you. There's everything wrong with them. They made a very bad decision that they can never take back. I'm so sorry that you had to hear them say all of those nasty things to you Sara." Becky said. Sara shook her head.
"I just didn't want to believe it, you know? I just wanted to believe that maybe they had changed. Maybe they didn't come looking for me because they didn't think I'd still be around, but I guess I was wrong. They didn't come looking for me because they didn't want to." She paused, sniffling. "What if they do the same thing to Lisa? Shouldn't they take her away from them?" The thought broke her heart, thinking of that happy little girl, that innocent little girl who wanted nothing more than her parents' love and affection. Just like me. Sara thought, but the difference was, Lisa was getting it. But what if that changed? What Troy and Allison decided one day that Lisa was just as 'needy' as Sara, and began to hit her, or do things to her? What if they decided one day they weren't interested and dumped Lisa like they did Sara? The thought sickened her.
"I know Sara, but they can't take Lisa away from them. They've done nothing to Lisa to bring about any kind of suspicion, but Ms. Morrison told us that social services is keeping their eye on them, because of their history and what they did to you, but Lisa might be with them for a long time. As much as that hurts you, Sara, you have to accept it." Jesse said with a long sigh.
Sara sighed, as she leaned back in her seat. So mu had changed in the span of an hour, and yet things still remained the same. Her parents still hated her, never wanted her, or chanything to do with her. That much hadn't changed, but now Sara had a little sister who was living the same life she had always wanted to have. One with her parents acceptance and love. She could only pray that Lisa wouldn't have to go through what she did, desperate to gain her parents' attention.
Still, Sara hadn't lost everything, and she was glad of that. Somehow, even through all of the pain she had endured, through all of the nightmares she had had to go through on a daily basis, she was not forgotten. Jesse and Becky had found her, and taught her that she was loved, that she was special, that she was wanted.
As they drove home, Becky and Jesse still talking to her from the front seat, Sara smiled to herself. Maybe she didn't have her parents love and approval, but she was still loved by Jesse and Becky, people who had shown her what a real mom and dad was.
Somehow, in that moment, Sara knew that she was going to be just fine.
The End! Thanks for all your reviews. If you have ideas for a third addition of Sara's life, you can let me know. I probably wont' write it for a while, but this was a fun one to write. Thanks again.