Remember us? Sorry for the wait, but we finally got a break from real-life and now we have episode ten for you! When last we left our little gang, Jackie was looking for a place to live after her mom spent all their money, Kelso was adjusting to being a working dad and living with Brooke, Eric & Donna were planning to move once college started for them, and Fez was still on the lookout for girls...

"Down to Zero"

Daytime - The Basement

Hyde is asleep on the couch. Kitty is coming downstairs with some laundry and stops as she sees him.

ERIC : (offscreen) But Mom, I don't see why I need to do my own laundry, too, since you're already--

Eric stops walking down the basement steps and also sees Hyde. Kitty places the laundry aside and walks up to him, nudging his shoulder slightly.

KITTY : Steven? Honey, wake up.

Hyde jumps slightly.

HYDE : I didn't do it! (sees Kitty & Eric) Oh. Hey.

ERIC : Hyde, man, what're you doing sleeping on the couch?

Hyde sits up, putting his sunglasses on, and Eric sits with him.

HYDE : Oh. Jackie. She's sleeping in my room. (looks at Kitty) You guys got mad the last time, so I figured it would be better if I was out here and she had the bed.

KITTY : I don't understand. Why is Jackie sleeping here again and it better be an answer that a mother doesn't mind hearing!

ERIC : Oh, yeah. I guess her mom spent all their money or something.

Hyde nods. Kitty looks upset.

KITTY : She told me before that something was wrong and I made fun of her mother! (she places a hand on her heart) I am a horrible, horrible woman!

HYDE : Don't worry about it, Mrs. Forman. We just gotta find a place for her to stay, though, because I'm not doing this every night. (beat) It messes the 'fro.

ERIC : Fez can't pay for his place alone.

HYDE : I tried that already, Forman. She didn't seem too excited to be living with a guy whose "needs" might bother her during "The Newlywed Game".

KITTY : Well, you've got to get her out of here before your father finds out. (laughs) I'm... I'm just terrible at keeping secrets!

HYDE : (to Eric) What about Donna?

ERIC : Nope. Jackie already said she wouldn't live with Bob again.

HYDE : I hate to say this, but... Kelso? (winces at the thought)

ERIC : Brooke and Kelso barely have enough room in their place for Betsy.

KITTY : Well, Jackie's so tiny, I'm sure they wouldn't notice.

Eric & Hyde just look at Kitty, who laughs.

KITTY : I'm going to go finish breakfast! You? (holds Hyde's face in her hands as she whispers) Get her out of here!

Kitty climbs back upstairs. Eric & Hyde look at each other.

HYDE : Laurie's room?

ERIC : Nope. (beat) The old hotel we worked at?

HYDE : And risk the wrath of Jackie bringing all that crap up again? No way.

There's a moment of silence, until Hyde finally smirks.

HYDE : Guess she'll just have to stay here, then!

JACKIE : (from Hyde's room) Steven? I accidentally broke your new "Led Zeppelin" record!

HYDE : (to Eric) Yeah, she's so outta here.

CUT TO CREDITS

Act One

Daytime - Formans' Kitchen

Red is sitting, eating some breakfast. Kitty has just finished pouring coffee for herself and seems jumpy (from the previous scene).

RED : What's wrong with you?

KITTY : What? (looks around, laughing)

RED : You! You're all... twitchy.

KITTY : I am... not. I'm... (she holds the coffee up) It's the coffee, Red.

RED : But you just poured that cup.

KITTY : You see! (she waves her hands) It's awful, and and I'm just going to stop right now! (she pours the coffee down the sink and walks through the living room door)

CUT TO

Daytime - The Basement

Eric & Hyde are on the couch, waiting for Jackie. Finally, Eric stands up.

ERIC : Hurry up!

JACKIE : God, no wonder Donna complains about you. All you do is want things fast and quick! (Jackie comes out of Hyde's room, perfectly dressed, and walks over to Hyde)

HYDE : You sleep okay? (she sits on his lap)

JACKIE : Yeah, thanks Steven. (she kisses him)

HYDE : Good, 'cuz you're outta here. (he pushes her off him)

JACKIE : Whoa whoa whoa. Steven, you said I could stay here.

HYDE : Look, Jackie, you've got to find a real place to stay. You know Red's not gonna let you move in.

ERIC : Or me.

HYDE : Or Eric.

JACKIE : Ugh. This is so stupid! (Fez comes through the basement door) Where am I going to find a place to stay?

FEZ : Oh I see. I am good for finding you a job, but not for finding you a bed?

HYDE : You better re-word that, man.

It's quiet. Fez looks upset, and Jackie, Hyde, & Eric just watch him for a few beats.

ERIC : Fez, are you... oh... waiting for us to say, "But Fez" so you can storm out of here? Because you didn't, you know, say that part that goes before it. (beat) So... um... yeah.

Fez still looks upset. Eric looks at Hyde & Jackie, who both shrug.

HYDE, JACKIE, & ERIC : (reluctantly) But, Fez...

FEZ : I said good-day! (grins triumphantly at them, and passes Donna on his way out)

DONNA : Okay, what the hell did I just miss?

ERIC : Nothing, nothing. So, did you do it?

DONNA : Yeah.

JACKIE : Do what?

DONNA : I gave them my notice at the radio station. It sucks, you know? I love it there. I'm "Hot Donna". I got to meet all these cool people and have my own show. But, we're going to college so... it's not like I can take the radio station with me.

HYDE : What're you gonna do, then?

DONNA : I don't know. I guess I'll see if UW has a campus radio that I could work at. That would be pretty cool. (beat) In the meantime, they're looking for someone else to take over my spot. I told them I'd even train whoever they ended up hiring.

ERIC : That was nice of you.

DONNA : Yeah. (beat) They better not hire some stupid whore like last time.

JACKIE : Whatever, Donna. You are moving away to someplace better than Point Place, with your whole life practically planned out. And what do I have? Nothing!

HYDE : Hey!

JACKIE : (sarcastically) Oh, yeah, except for you babe.

HYDE : That's better.

SCENE BUMPER

WFPP Radio station, daytime

Donna arrives at work, looking relaxed. Max, the station manager walks into the room from another door.

MAX : Donna! Perfect timing. I just finished my interview with our new employee, and was just about to give her a tour.

DONNA : I can do that. (she shrugs) Might as well start showing her the ropes, right?

MAX : Exactly. Although I gotta tell you that it seems like she's been here for years.

The door Max used opens. Into the room walks a tall, pretty blonde in a Led Zeppelin t-shirt.

MAX : Donna, I'd like you to meet Shawna, your replacement. Shawna, this is the great DJ we're unfortunately losing, WFPP's own "Hot Donna".

SHAWNA : (offering a hand) Oh wow, Hot Donna. I'm such a fan.

DONNA : (shocked, but takes the hand) Um, yeah. Great, thanks.

Shawna has almost the exact same voice and mannerisms as Donna.

SHAWNA : It's a real honor. Maybe one day I'll get to be just like you.

MAX : (almost aside) You're off to a great start. (clears his throat) Okay, and now that we're all familiar, I'll leave you lady-- um, ladies-- to get better acquainted.

Max leaves. Donna and Shawna stand there staring at each other.

DONNA : Okay... we'll start with a tour of the place?

SHAWNA : That's cool.

DONNA : (turning toward the door) I'll show you where the ladies' room is first. I don't know about you, but I've always got to know where that is before anything else.

SHAWNA : Oh, me too.

DONNA : (deadpan) You don't say.

SCENE BUMPER

Fez' apartment, daytime

No one is visible, but we hear Fez in the kitchen, singing.

FEZ : (offscreen) At the Copa, Copacabana... Music and passion were always in fashion at Copa--

Fez comes out of the kitchen, carrying a stack of movie theater-style candy and a giant soda.

FEZ : Copacabanaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

A knock at the door. Fez grumbles and answers it. Hyde is there with an unhappy-looking Jackie.

FEZ : Yes? And it better be good, I've got five pounds of candy calling my name.

HYDE : Jackie has something to say, don't you Jackie?

Jackie opens her mouth, but tries to run instead. She turns, but Hyde grabs her by the shoulders and turns her back around.

HYDE : Jackie...

JACKIE : No! I won't do it.

HYDE : It's this or the Y.

JACKIE : What's the Y?

HYDE : It's like a hotel, but where there's no room service. Or housekeeping. Or walls between the bedrooms. Or bedrooms.

JACKIE : (terrified, it comes out almost as one word) Fez, I want to move in and be your roommate!

FEZ : (smugly) Well, then come in, come in. How the burn has turned.

Hyde and Jackie enter and sit on the couch.

HYDE : Actually Fez, it's-- no, that actually kinda works.

JACKIE : Are we done? Have I humiliated myself enough for one day?

FEZ : Not even close. I must devise some sort of test for you, some way to prove that you really want to stay here.

Hyde stands from the couch and claps Fez on the shoulder.

HYDE : (to Fez) Well, you kids have fun. Fez, just remember: if this test involves embarrassment, you better call me. But if it involves nudity, or Jackie having to provide you any kind of personal favor? I'm going to kick your ass so hard you'll lose your accent.

FEZ : Understood.

HYDE : (to Jackie) You play nice with Fez. I'll grab your stuff from Forman's.

Hyde exits, leaving Fez and Jackie alone. Fez rubs his hands and laughs maniacally. Unimpressed, Jackie takes some of his chocolate.

SCENE BUMPER

Formans' basement, daytime

Nobody down there. Hyde is heard in his room, struggling with something.

HYDE : (offscreen) Dammit... get in there! (etc)

Kitty comes down the stairs and hears him.

KITTY : Steven?

Hyde exits his room with a giant plastic trash back slung over one shoulder. It's full to bursting, and he's huffing and puffing. He sees Kitty and nearly drops the bag.

HYDE : Mrs. Forman! Um... Hi.

KITTY : Steven, what are you doing? (she sees the bag) OH MY GOD, that's not Jackie in there, is it?

HYDE : (shocked) What? No! What? No!

He lowers the bag and holds it open for her.

HYDE : Jackie agreed to move in with Fez, so I'm getting her stuff out of here before Red sees it.

Kitty takes a deep breath and calms down.

KITTY : Sorry about that. Red was having just a little too much fun watching one of those "true crime" documentaries on PBS.

Hyde nods and hauls the bag back up onto his shoulder with a grunt.

KITTY : Oh, Steven, are you sure you can handle all that?

HYDE : Oh, yeah. The stuffed animals just make it bulky. Although all the cans of hairspray and the three boxes of jewelry are kind heavy.

Red comes down the stairs.

RED : Come on, Kitty, you're missing the crime scene photos-- (sees Hyde) Steven, you'd either better be taking over for Santa or have a damn good explanation.

HYDE : I'm... taking out the trash?

RED : And I'm Ho Chi Minh. Try again, dumbass.

KITTY : You caught us! Steven was just taking some of the kids' old toys to the Goodwill!

RED : (exasperated) Strike two.

HYDE : Um...

RED : Okay, answer me this-- is there beer in there?

HYDE : No.

RED : Is there dope?

HYDE : (under his breath) I wish.

RED : What did you say?

HYDE : I said no.

RED : Is your annoying girlfriend that's been sleeping in your room for the last few days in there?

Stunned silence.

HYDE : (finally) No.

RED : Good enough.

He goes back upstairs, leaving a shellshocked Kitty and Hyde.

CUT TO

WFPP radio station, daytime

Shawna is in the studio, out with all the records while a DJ is seen in the booth, on the air. Shawna is putting records back onto shelves when Donna enters the room. Throughout the scene, they mirror each other's movements without thinking.

DONNA : Hey, Shawna. How's the first day of work so far?

SHAWNA : It's been great. This is a really cool job. Do you mind if I ask you a question?

DONNA : No, go ahead.

SHAWNA : Well... like I said, it's a cool job. Why are you leaving?

DONNA : I'm transferring to U of W next semester, so I'm moving.

SHAWNA : That's great! I can't wait to go to college.

DONNA : Oh, are you saving up for tuition?

SHAWNA : No, I'm just waiting for my boyfriend to make up his mind about what he wants to do with his life.

DONNA : I hear you. (she looks around) Organizing records. Yeah, they had me doing that first day, too. I had to come up with a whole new system, the place was such a mess. (notices her pile of records) Oh, no-- Aerosmith goes over here. Allman Brothers go over there.

SHAWNA : Well, actually, I redid the shelves. This system makes it a lot easier for the DJ's to get the most popular songs first.

DONNA : (annoyed) Oh. Yeah, well, since you're the one who'll be working here, that's cool. I'm gonna go get some coffee. Want some?

SHAWNA : Yeah, cool.

Donna shakes her head as she leaves. Shawna goes back to organizing records. Eric walks into the room while her back is turned.

ERIC : Hey, there's my sexy girlfriend!

Eric walks up and grabs two handfuls of Shawna's butt. She screams, turns and slaps him.

SHAWNA : Pervert!

ERIC : Donna, what the hell?

SHAWNA : I'm not Donna, you dillhole!

ERIC : What the HELL?

Donna comes running in.

DONNA : Shawna, what's all the-- Eric, what's going on?

SHAWNA : This is Eric? Well, your boyfriend just walked in and grabbed my ass!

DONNA : (smacks him) You dillhole!

ERIC : (looks from one to the other, completely lost) WHAT THE HELL?!

SCENE BUMPER

ACT TWO

SCENE BUMPER

Daytime, The Basement

Kelso is doing laundry and eating a popsicle at the same time. Eric is sitting on the couch, looking confused and upset.

KELSO : Okay, so you're sayin' that there's TWO Donnas out there and we didn't know about it?

ERIC : No. Yes. No. (beat) Man, she looked JUST LIKE HER! What the hell was I supposed to do?

KELSO : Grab her ass, like you did.

ERIC : Yeah, thanks, Kelso. I got smacked for it.

KELSO : (shrugs) Look, Forman, I say if there's two Donnas, then take advantage of it! You're living the dream!

DISSOLVE TO FANTASY

Eric is sitting on the couch in the basement, with Shawna on one side and Donna on the other. They're both stroking his chest and snuggled up to him.

DONNA : Oh, Eric! I'm so glad we get to share you!

SHAWNA : Me too, Eric!

The fantasy dissolves until Eric is replaced by Kelso.

KELSO : There's enough of me to go around, ladies!

ERIC : (offscreen) Wait, wait, wait.

DISSOLVE BACK

Eric is staring at Kelso.

ERIC : What the hell, Kelso? You do NOT get Donna. You're using my basement to do your kid's laundry, and you've got Brooke who, for some, you know, WEIRD reason, loves you!

Eric stands up and points at Kelso.

ERIC : So, I'm taking a stand! You're not stealing my fantasy, too!

KELSO : Damn, fine, Eric! You spoil all our fun.

SCENE BUMPER

Fez & Jackie's apartment, daytime

The front door opens and Jackie enters, carrying a small pink pocketbook. Hyde follows, hauling two huge pink suitcases, huffing and puffing. He puts them down with a thump.

JACKIE : Steven, be careful! I have dolls in those bags!

HYDE : Then they better be worth enough to fix my back.

JACKIE : (gasps) You would sell my dolls? My things?

Hyde just looks at her.

JACKIE : Oh, right. (resigned) Fine. That's all of the ones I had in your room, anyway.

HYDE : There are more?!

JACKIE : (counts on her fingers) There's all my Barbies, and their accessories, and the three Dream Houses--

HYDE : Why do you have three Barbie Dream Houses?

JACKIE : One is a summer cottage, and one is the servants' quarters, duh!

Hyde shakes his head and starts pulling one case toward the smaller bedroom. Fez comes out of the big bedroom.

FEZ : Ah, Jackie, good. I have devised your test.

JACKIE : Wonderful. What do I have to do, eat some weird food from your homeland? Because if it's something pervy, I'll have Steven beat you up.

FEZ : So Hyde informed me. It forced me back to the drawing board, but I have the solution. (dramatic pause)

JACKIE : Well...?

CUT TO FANTASY

City street, nighttime

Jackie, dressed in a trench coat and beret, steps into a phone booth. She reaches under the small table and takes out a tape recorder. She pushes play.

FEZ : (voice) Good evening, Agent Jackie. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to acquire and return to the apartment at least one attractive girl willing to go out with me and let me get to at least third base. Good luck. This message will now self-destruct. Fzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... POOF!!

Jackie frowns at the tape recorder, which is still intact, and looks up to see Fez standing outside of the phone booth. He quickly reaches in and grabs the tape recorder.

FEZ : (lame smile) Heh. Sorry, budget cuts.

Fez throws the recorder down on the ground and stomps on it.

DISSOLVE FROM FANTASY

Jackie is staring at Fez, incredulous.

JACKIE : You've got to be kidding me.

FEZ : Nope. Set me up, mama.

JACKIE : (turning to Hyde) Steven, tell him he can't do this!

HYDE : Sounds reasonable to me. You always say that the girls on the cheerleading squad you were on were a bunch of sluts. I'm sure you can call one of them.

JACKIE : Fine. I'll be back.

Jackie turns on her heel and storms out the door.

HYDE : (to Fez) Good idea, man. Chick delivery.

FEZ : Thank you. I've always wanted to combine my interests of being horny and lazy.

SCENE BUMPER

Formans' living room, daytime

Red and Kitty are watching TV. The sounds of an argument come through the kitchen door. Red rolls his eyes and shuts off the TV while Kitty puts down her drink.

RED : I'm so glad Eric's back.

KITTY : Oh, hush. You really are, and you know it. (beat) Three... two... one...

Eric and Donna come through the kitchen door, still arguing.

DONNA : --telling me that you can't tell me from just some other blonde? That's it?

ERIC : Of course not, Donna! But she's not just some other blonde!

Eric stops near Red's chair, Donna sitting on the couch between them and Kitty.

DONNA : So you do like her!

KITTY : Eric, Donna... is there something you'd like to talk to us about?

RED : Or are you just here to annoy me, like usual?

Eric and Donna start talking over each other.

RED : Shut up! Donna first, then the dumbass.

DONNA : So there's this girl at work, right, who's taking over my job. Your son, who you rightly call "dumbass", just walks in and grabs her butt!

ERIC : I thought she was you!

DONNA : I rest my case.

KITTY : Eric, is this true?

ERIC : Mom, you don't understand. This girl, Shawna-- looks just like Donna. I mean, just like her. (gasps) She's your evil twin from an alternate dimension!

RED : My foot is going to an alternate dimension called your ass if you don't stop that.

ERIC : Okay, okay. But seriously, from behind, Shawna has the same hair, the same build, the same height...

KITTY : Donna, is this true?

DONNA : Sort of, I guess. She's not exactly my height, and her hair's a little different, but...

KITTY : (prompting) But Eric, I'm sure she isn't nearly as pretty as Donna, right?

ERIC : Huh?

Red reaches up and shoves Eric in the back.

ERIC : Oh, no! No, she's not nearly as pretty as you. Honey.

DONNA : Well, all right. But there's got to be something to do about this. Thanks, Mr. and Mrs. Forman.

Donna leaves. Red and Kitty look at Eric, who shrugs.

ERIC : JUST like her.

CUT TO

WFPP, daytime

Donna walks into the record room, where Shawna is organizing again.

DONNA : There you are, Shawna. Look, I'm sorry about before with my boyfriend.

SHAWNA : (shrugs) Don't worry about it. (whispers) My boyfriend's kind of a dumbass sometimes, too.

DONNA : Why are you whispering?

SHAWNA : He just got here to take me to lunch. He's next door. (yells) Hey, Derek!!

Donna's eyes go wide. Derek enters, shaggy brown hair, tall and lanky, wearing a "Star Wars" t-shirt.

DEREK : You must be Donna. I've heard a lot about you. Like I already know you.

DONNA : (panicking) Gotta go.

She runs out the door. Derek and Shawna shrug.

SCENE BUMPER

The Hub, daytime

Jackie walks in, surveying the place. She holds the door open, and when no one comes in immediately, she turns and shouts.

JACKIE : (out the door) MICHAEL!

Kelso comes in through the door, Betsy in one arm, diaper bag slung over the other.

KELSO : Wow, that brings back memories.

JACKIE : Michael, you said you'd help me.

They sit down at a table. Kelso starts giving Betsy a bottle.

KELSO : And I meant it. Now, what do you need again?

JACKIE : I need to find a slut who's willing to go out with Fez and maybe do it with him. I figured who better to ask about sluts than you?

KELSO : (offended) Jackie, I cannot believe that you said something like that in front of my daughter!

Kelso covers part of Betsy's head with his free hand.

KELSO : (smiling) Okay, now let's talk sluts. Give me the details.

JACKIE : Fez says that for me to move into the apartment, I have to find a girl to go out with him who'll let him get somewhere with her.

KELSO : With Fez? This might be tough.

JACKIE : What about old reliable? Pam Macy?

KELSO : U of W.

JACKIE : Pam Macy went to college?

KELSO : No, she just went to a frat party one weekend and never came back.

JACKIE : Kat Peterson?

KELSO : Married Timmy, that guy that was always yelling?

JACKIE : Where's Big Rhonda these days?

KELSO : Pro wrestling circuit.

JACKIE : Shelly what's-her-name?

KELSO : Turns out Buddy Morgan wasn't really gay. He just needed a sluttier lab partner.

JACKIE : Well, crap, who's left?

The bell over the door rings, and Kelso looks up. We don't see who's come in. His face splits into a huge grin.

JACKIE : What? Michael, what?

Jackie turns around to see what he's looking at. She puts her hands to her face in glee.

SCENE BUMPER

Formans' basement, evening

Hyde is in his usual seat, Jackie on his lap, watching TV. Eric and Fez are playing cards. Kelso is flipping through a girlie magazine.

HYDE : Forman, what's taking Donna so long? If I eat one more popsicle, I'm gonna hurl.

ERIC : I don't know. I offered to pick her up after her last day at the station, but she said she had errands to run.

KELSO : All I know is someone said "out for dinner", so I'm here. And it better not be a tease.

FEZ : (to Eric) So Eric, when will you be able to do it with Donna and her twin?

ERIC : What? Who told you about that?

FEZ : Kelso. He described the fantasy in great detail.

KELSO : You're welcome.

HYDE : He won't. Even if he wanted to, he won't.

ERIC : What's that supposed to mean?

FEZ : You are too faithful.

KELSO : You're too bad with women.

HYDE : You're too whipped.

JACKIE : You know what's good for you.

ERIC : (deflated) Thanks, guys.

The basement door opens. Donna enters, wearing a big 'Annie Hall' slouch hat that covers up most of her head.

ERIC : Finally. Donna, what--

Donna whips off the hat to reveal that she's dyed her hair back to red. The boys fall out of their seats in awe, Hyde even dumping Jackie to the ground.

KELSO : Holy crap!

HYDE : Holy crap!

ERIC : Holy crap!

FEZ : Holy crap!

JACKIE : (disappointed) Oh, holy crap, stop it. (to Donna) Why? Why? WHY?

DONNA : Because this is me. I tried blonde, but as it turned out, me with blonde hair made me someone else. Literally.

Donna sits down next to Eric, who starts petting her hair.

ERIC : Oooooooh...

DONNA : You guys are so weird. When I went blonde, you were all happy.

ERIC : Yes, but... as a redhead, you're so...

HYDE : (smirking) Saucy.

ERIC : Exactly.

DONNA : (to Eric) So you're not mad I dyed my hair?

ERIC : (shakes his head) God, no.

FEZ : You are sassy and bold.

KELSO : And still hot.

ERIC : Like Mary-Jane Watson...

DONNA : Good. But this doesn't mean you get to wear your Spider-Man jammies in bed with me.

There's a knock on the basement door. Hyde looks around and does a head count.

HYDE : Who the hell is that? Everyone we know is here.

Jackie jumps up happily clapping.

JACKIE : That is my moving-in gift to Fez. (to Fez) You asked for a girl who wanted to go out with you and would let you get some action, right?

FEZ : (excited) Yes.

JACKIE : So I went to Point Place's foremost expert on slutty girls, Michael Kelso.

Kelso waves, getting giddy. The others look at each other in anticipation.

FEZ : (more excited) Great idea!

JACKIE : And then, fate just stepped in.

Jackie goes to the door, puts a hand on the handle and grins.

JACKIE : Fez, here is your girl!

Jackie swings open the door. It's Caroline.

CAROLINE : FEZZIE!!!!!!!!

Fez stands up, half scared and half excited.

FEZ : Caroline?!

Caroline squeals and runs at Fez, tackling him over the back of the sofa. The others laugh as we see various body parts peek over.

CUT TO COMMERCIALS

END ACT TWO

TAG

Jackie's bedroom, night

Jackie is in her PJs, in bed, surrounded by stuffed animals. Loud, muffled sounds come from the wall.

Jackie covers her ears. Then, she picks up two stuffed animals and holds them against her head.

Finally, she gets up out of bed.

CUT TO

Fez & Jackie's apartment, night

Jackie bangs on Fez' bedroom door. She waits. The noise dies down. The door cracks open, and Fez sticks his head out. He's not wearing clothes except for a colored scarf tied around his head and he's holding a feather duster.

JACKIE : Will you two please quiet down?!

FEZ : Sorry. But you got me the crazy girl. And let me tell you, is she ever crazy...

CAROLINE : (voice) Fezzie... I'm waiting...

FEZ : Bye, roomie!

He slams the door shut. Jackie stomps over to the stereo and pulls headphones on.

THE END