Heads or Tails
by warmfuzzies
"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice."
-
-
She was the one who had started the game.
A lull in the conversation had led to her fidgeting awkwardly with a copper coin she had found in her pocket. As always, he never found the silence uncomfortable and he merely sat still against the tree. Like a stone, she had thought. She could barely detect the faint rise and fall of his chest as he breathed in and out.
And just when the silence had settled so deeply and firmly around them that Sakura almost believed that if she opened her mouth, no sound would come out, that she spoke.
"Ne, Sasuke-kun. Heads or tails?"
He turned his head slightly towards her, dark eyes blank, with the faintest rise of his eyebrows.
She indicated the rusty coin in her hand and tried again. "Sasuke-kun. Heads or tails?"
There was silence again before he let out a heavy sigh.
"Heads," he said quietly, his voice almost hoarse as if from lack of use.
"Okay!" She smiled and expertly flipped the coin up in the air.
"Heads, Naruto drags us off to Ichiraku today. Tails, he doesn't."
The coin spun in the air, flashing in the late afternoon light.
It dropped into Sakura's outstretched palm, before she flipped her hand over and smacked it on her arm.
She lifted her fingers to reveal the coin.
"Heads."
"SAKURA-CHAN! SASUKE-TEME! WE'RE GONNA GO TO ICHIRAKU! I'M STARVING! TEME, YOU'RE PAYING!"
Naruto skidded to a halt in front of the other two members of Team 7.
"Ne, ne, why are you guys staring at me funny?"
Even Sasuke had to smile a bit at that.
-
The game persisted. Sakura always asked the questions.
She was careful to not play the game too often though, lest Sasuke finally come back to his senses and stopped obliging her with his monotone answers of "heads" or "tails".
"Sasuke-kun, heads or tails?"
"Ah. Tails."
And she'd watch, almost breathless, as the coin flipped high in the air. And if she looked hard, Sakura could almost convince herself that she saw that point where the coin reached its highest peak, where it hung for a fraction of eternity, suspended. When it could go both ways, before it fell back to earth and into her palm.
He never watched the coin, just stared at some point in the distance, only to be called back from his thoughts when she triumphantly declared which way the coin had landed.
"Heads, Kakashi lets us see his face. Tails, he doesn't."
"Heads, we follow the dirt path. Tails, we go through the trees."
"Heads, we make camp by the river. Tails, we make camp here."
-
It was silly, Sakura knew. But, it was better than silence.
-
-
He was leaning against the bridge, staring at the waters that thundered beneath the wooden planks on which he stood. He was still, silent.
Like a stone, she thought. She could barely detect the faint rise and fall of his chest as he breathed in and out.
She went to stand beside him. He didn't even glance at her, his gaze fixed on the water below.
The silence settled around them, but this time it was almost oppressive, intrusive.
The Hokage had died that week. Sakura felt her heart fall at the thought. And lately, Sasuke was drifting even more than usual. Retreating into himself. His scattered few words were short, brusque. He attacked more viciously during training, kunai flashing, a look of pure hatred sometimes stealing over his pale features. She caught him massaging the cursed seal on his neck sometimes, a frown of deep contemplation marring his face.
She told herself that he was tired, that he was worried, that he was mourning in his own way. But she never had been very good at lying.
Suddenly seized by a desperate need to prove herself wrong or right or just to do something, she pulled out the coin that she now always kept with her. It was scratched but holding it, cool against her too warm palm, seemed to almost give her a sense of reassurance in the present. In the possibilities of the here and now.
"Sasuke-kun. Heads or tails?"
He made no move to show he had heard and she felt her heart falter.
"Sasuke-kun! Heads or tails!"
She hadn't meant for desperation to leak into her tone, but Sasuke seemed to hear it and he finally looked at her. He cocked his head and frowned.
"Haruno. I am not in the mood."
"Heads or tails!" she persisted.
He turned his head and looked back out at the river.
"Heads."
Sakura felt tears prick at her eyes but she didn't know why. She threw the coin up, threw it with all her strength high into the air and began to speak greedily, desperately, tripping over her words.
"Heads, heads means you do not go after Orochimaru and Itachi…."
Sasuke whipped his head around to turn and face her. His eyes widened and began to blaze.
"…and tails…tails…oh Kami, tails…you do. You do go after them and you do…you do leave us…," she finished off in a mad rush, her last words almost a whisper.
Sasuke sprung to life and snarled. "That. Is. No. Business. Of. Yours." He ground out, voice low, but carrying a deadly anger in it, like a sharp steel blade, that almost made Sakura want to turn and run.
But she didn't move. She watched the coin as it arched in the air, flashing in the late afternoon sun. She could almost convince herself that she saw that point where the coin reached its highest peak, where it hung for a fraction of eternity, suspended. When it could go both ways, before it fell back to earth and…
Sasuke whipped out and with his palm, slammed the coin down onto the creaky railing. The look he gave her (so cold, so hard, like a stone) stopped the words in her throat.
"No."
He turned and walked away, anger etched into his form, back and shoulders rigid. His strides were long, and his steps were heavy against the wooden planks.
Sakura watched him go, heart in her throat and those unshed tears marring her vision, making the retreating figure look fragmented, broken.
She turned to look at the wooden railing. She could hear the rushing of the water underneath her now.
Funny, she hadn't heard it before. It had been so silent.
Sasuke had slammed the coin down onto the railing with such force, it left a dent where the coin sat in now.
The tears didn't come when she finally looked at it though.
She whispered the verdict the coin had given, tentatively, and then, she spoke out loud, almost like she was calling.
The figure heard her and stopped for just a second – just a fraction of eternity – before continuing to walk away.
It was then Sakura began to cry.
Tails.
She had started the game.
But he had ended it.
-
OWARI