A/N: This is the not long awaited Sequel to Google. Hopefully our old readers will enjoy it as much as the first one, and the new readers will.. enjoy it? Yeah! Please Review!
Disclaimer: We do not own Full Metal Alchemist, Naruto, Barney (not that we'd want to), or that one Rent song...
NEW READERS: You won't nessacarily have to read Google, but it might be a good idea.. to figure out the whole computer thing and the Itachi/Barney thing.
Oh, and Roy-fan-33... We hope you don't mind us using you again..
Google: How Troublesome.
By Full Metal Cows
Chapter 1
This delightful little story that we would like to refer to as a story, and shall always refer to it in that context, begins in the living room of the Rockbell's home, where our favorite characters sat infront of the idiot-box.
Winry's newest invention, the idiot-box.
"Wiinnnrrry!" Roy had shouted, "I want to watch something on this.. this.. idiot-box."
"Go ahead!"
So, there Roy sat, watching a movie with Winry, Riza, Alphone and Pinako. On the coffee table sat a box of kleenex, which was almost empty, that they used to dry their eyes of tears.
Because the movie was simply a tear jerker.
This.. RENT.
Winry broke out sobbing, "WHYYYY?!"
Maes was there also, but he had crawled into a corner unnoticed for evil plotting purposes. "I'll get them..." he mumbled, sharpening his knife with a smirk, "AND THEIR LITTLE DOG TOO!"
Somewhere in the house, Ed flinched.
"hehe... blood lust," Maes mumbled, joy filled tears leaking from his eyes.
"You called?"
Maes looked up from his knife and into the eyes of a... DUN DUN DUN.
Homunculus.
Named..
LUST-o-me-manifesto.
"Can I eat him?" Gluttony said, sticking his finger up his nose and looking down at the man.
"No..," Lust pondered, "I believe we can use him for a little vengence.. against the taco bell dog."
"HE WOULDN'T LET ME HAVE THE ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET!" groaned Gluttony.
"I know how you feel," Gluttony's alter ego said.
"Come with us," Lust held out her hand to Maes, "Come with us and... NEVER RETURN!"
"Yes mommy," Maes said quickly, grabbing her hand, "but I need to get my Elysia pictures."
"There is no time," Lust hissed. "WE MUST GO!"
"I CAN'T LEAVE THE PICTURES!"
"YOU CAN!" Lust yelled, and dragged Maes off. "AND YOU WILL!"
And none of the people in the room heard what happened, since Winry was crying so loud.
--
"Barney...," Itachi sighed, extremely annoyed with the dinosaur who was trying to play footsie with him. "I think.. we need to talk."
"Whaaat?" Barney yelled, "THIS ISN'T GOOD!"
No duh Einstein.
"It's just... you bore me," Itachi mumbled, "I think.. I want to see women."
"YOUR GOING STRAIGHT?!" Barney screamed, pulling his fur out.
"Yes.. And, I want to break up," Itachi murmured loud enough for Barney to hear.
"Oh no! Come on.. you don't mean it -- you can't mean it! I need you," Barney jumbled on, "...I love you, you love me..."
"I'm sorry Barney. It's just the way it is," Itachi mumbled, a tear slipping from his cheek, "I hope we can still be friends."
"WHAAAAT?!"
"Yes... I'm in love with someone else," Itachi sighed, gazing at fangirl number 4. (Roy-fan-33... Ah! This is for you, if you ever read it..)
"I LOVE YOU FANGIRL NUMBER FOUR!" He said, jumping up from his chair and running dramaticly to her, where he picked her up. "WILL YOU MARRY ME?!"
"AAAHHH! NO! NO! NO!" Fangirl number four screamed, "RAAAPE!" She then pulled a beating stick from behind her back and began to hit the strayed ninja. "I HAVE EYES ONLY FOR ROY/ED!.. AND ED/AL!... AND ROY/ED/AL!" (That's right, we read your profile.. -shifty eyes-)
"BUT DARLING!"
"I SAID NO!"
"BUT-BU-BUT!"
"Aha, he said butt," laughed Barney.
"I'LL CALL THE POLICE! OR BETTER YET... SOMEONE ELSE!"
"Hiya!"
"Hiy hawtstuff!"
Stare.
"OHMYGOD FANGIRLS NUMBER 1 AND 2 HAVE MORPHED!"
"Ed ist arownd.. so we thoht wed go fer somthin mor tall!"
"And that is...?" Itachi said, letting go of Fan girl number 4.
"U!"
5 minutes later, Itachi, fangirl number one, and fangirl number 2 walked out of the restuarant. "Here's my number, girls," he said, and began to walk off.
They stared at eachother and then delightfully screamed, "PLAYED!"
Itachi who could still hear them, ran quickly crying "I ONLY LIVE TO BE REJECTED! FIRST KISAME, THEN SASUKE, THEN FANGIRL NUMBER FOUR, NOW THIS!"'
Whoa, whoa, back up a second.
Then Sasuke..
Oh.
MY.
God. -smell's a scandal.-
---
"AY DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMEN."
---
Roy sat watching the movie, completely into it. Well, the lesbian part that is. He always thought women kissing was a turn on, even if when you tried to kiss them or told them that, they slapped you in the face and said "YO! I'M A LESBIAN!"
He almost laughed when the homosexuals kissed, and his evil side caught on. "HEY ED!" he shouted into the house.
"Yeah?" came a faint reply.
"COME HERE! You're on television!"
"I AM? SQUEEE!!"
"OH NO! DON'T BREAK UP WITH MURPHY!!" Winry shouted from outside.
"What's going on?" Ed said, walking out the door and towards 3 people standing in a circle or triangle.
"Oh, nothing much," Winry said, "Just practicing for this play that residents in Risembool and surrounding area's have to preform."
"What's it called?"
"Dead Monkey's Head's Got My Eyeball."
"Interesting."
"It's a musical."
"Interesting."
"I'm the main character."
"It's going to be horrible."
"AS-HOLE!" Winry shouted, knocking him over the head with a wrench. "PIPSQUEAK," whack, "BEAN!" whack, "JERK!," whack, "UGLY LITTLE HOBO-- Oh, someone sent you a letter," whack.
"Ow...," Ed mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "My arm is going to be bruised... WELL! I best be off to get my letter! Probably from my bestestest fangirl in all the worlds... EDARINA!"
"It's from Dad," Al whispered into Ed's ear.. which was hard to do since he had to bend over.
"Well, there's probably two."
"There's only one."
"SHUT UP CONSCIENCE!"
"It's not your conscience.. it's me, Al."
"SHUTTAP!"
"Just go get the letter, because if you don't," Winry (aka the main character in Dead Monkey's Got My Eyeball by Charles McChicken.) "I won't finish the compuher. AND I'LL USE THE PAPARIZZA TO GET BACK AT YOU!"
"You mean the paparatzi?" Ed questioned.
"YES."
"Bye-bye now," Ed said, pulling Al to the mail box. Sighing, he reached in and grabbed a small letter, and began opening it.
"OMG! OMG! OMG! DADDY SENT US A LETTER!!" Al began chanting.
"Shuttup!" Ed said, "It couldn't be anything good, because it's from that jerkoff bastard." (hurhurhurhur.)
"READ IT! READ IT! READ IT!"
Dear Edward Elric and Alphonse Elric,
This letter is to inform you of the recent death of Hohenhiem Imtogoodtohavealastname. He has died a gruesome death at the hands of a large green snake-monster-thingy. You inherit ALL HIS PROBLEMS!!! OTHER PEOPLE GET THE MONEY!
JK! Howz it goin'? Dun you tink ive gotten mor in tun w/ ur generation? Ya, i can rite w/ no gramer too!! Lawlz. I hop tat annoyin' dante isn givin u a hard tym... yet. Lawlz! shes such a playa/witch! OMG! U woudnt believ it if i todl ya! bewar of tat lyra grl too, sehs ttlly up to no gewd too. Oh! and dun firget aout lior... or dos dame homoclus. Okie dokie and giv up serchin fer ta Nestors Stone snc itz---
"What the hell is he talking about?" Edward murmured under his breath, "God! He's such a n00b!"
"Nestors stone?" Alphonse mumbled under his breath. "and what's "homoclus?""
"That's what I want to know!" Ed mumbled, "He need's to be taught a lesson!"
"No killing of parents," Winry mumbled, putting her hand on his shoulder. "It's the number one rule of the Monkey Hunter!"
"I'M NOT A MONKEY HUNTER! AND GET OFF MY SHOULDER, HAND. YOUR PROBABLY FULL OF COOTIES BECAUSE YOU DON'T TAKE SHOWERS!"
"You think I'm full of cooties?" Winry mumbled, "I take showers all the time! It's just off screen. AND YOU, whose on screen all the time, takes ONLY 1 shower in the whole anime/manga. And you're never off screen. YOU'RE SUCH A DIRTY UGLY LITTLE--"
"Hey, hey, I'll accept dirty, and ugly. At least I'm cleaner then Roy, BUT I'M NOT LITTLE YOU GIANT PEICE OF--"
"Calm down," Al mumbled.
"SHHHUuutup.." Ed began, "Sorry Al."
"TELL ME WHAT THE REST OF THE LETTER SAID." Al said, getting tired of the arguement, while Winry simply grabbed her chance and ran away to practice for her musical.
"It said," Ed began,
ttly a bad ide. oh n hers a riddl. it haz no is, but it kan c. wot is it? Lawlz. I no u wont be able figur it owt sinc it toke mii lyk... 8 howrs ta figur owt. N evn then Dan... env.. i meen sum dud frm wer i liv had to tell mii. Lawlz... hehehe. Newy im bein calld sew ill rite u agan in a wiik or so. EXPECY BLOOD LUST!
Sincrly Ur Horribl Dad and horribl Person,
Hohenhiem Imtogoodtohavealastname.
"Ed..." Alphonse said, as if he'd made a new discovery, "I think he's trying to warn us."
"About what?" Ed said, "It all looks like jibberish to me."
"He's warning us about..." Al paused, "Some one named Dan Env! The person who kidnapped him! All clues point to that!"
"Good. Let them keep him," Ed sneered. "We don't need that blond headed fool!"
"You're blond too.."
"I AM NOT. I'm.. I'm... Dirty Blond! WINRY SAID SO!"
"Well... your hair is muddy..."
Ed nodded happily.
"From rolling in the mud last night."
Ed gasped, and in a serious tone said "I thought we agreed that that was never going to be spoken of again! IT WAS ONE TIME! NEVER AGAIN, I SWEAR!!"
"I believe you..."
Ed sighed, "Good."
"As much as I'd believe a flying jelly fish named Chilli."
"THIS MEANS WAR!" Ed screamed angrily, attacking Al with his TINY hands.
--
When Maes awoke, having gone unconscious from a bumpy ride, he was no longer in the Rockbell home. He wasn't in any home, house or place of residence at that. It was then he heard a loud, girlish screech.
"OMG LERST!!111111," Screamed Envy who sounded oddly like fangirl number 1, "DID YA GET MEH EDO-SAMA!"
"Not quite. WE GOT A BETTER PLAY THING, THIS ONE ISN'T SHORT!" Gluttony shouted, licking his lips. "I THINK HE'LL TASTE GOOD."
"OH! OH! OH!" Screamed Wrath, "can I torture him first?"
"Uh...," pondered Lust.
"Common! It'll be my first time!"
"Fiiinneee... but we need him in a hour, for.. uh... REVENGE," Lust finally compromised.
"Most troublesome," though Maes' as the deranged little created human boy dragged him to his room.
"I'll go easy on you and use the 8 tailed whip," Wrath said with a crooked smile.
"DON'T FORGET THE CHAINS!" Envy yelled running down the hallway after him.
--
Ed lost, because.. face it, Al's a Giant man! A giant tin man! Soul! Armour! Whatever, this sentence is twang. What is twang you ask? Google it.
Stay tuned, our fairly tailed rabbits.