Summary: Do you all remember during the preliminaries of the Chuunin finals when Lee had to fight Gaara? Yes, we all know that Gaara won, but there is something Lee could've done to win that fight. The insanity begins.

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. You all should know that by now

How Lee Could've Defeated Gaara

Lee landed gracefully in the hand statue. This was getting rough…

"Lee!!!" Gai cried out to his student, "Take them off!!!"

The green beast's face was in shock, Gaara's devoid of any emotion (as usual) and the rest were just confused.

"But…! But Gai-sensei! That's…only for a time when I must protect many precious people, isn't it!?" he asked

The jounin went into his 'nice-guy' pose, "It's alright! I'll allow it!"

"H…Hai Gai-sensei!"

"What is he gonna do?" Naruto asked

"Gai? What is he-?" Kakashi was cut off mid-sentence when he heard Ino shriek in terror and faint, "Hm?"

The silver-haired ninja looked to where Lee was and went wide-eyed.

"Oh…" Naruto started

"…My…" Sakura continued

"…God…" Kakashi finished. Team Kakashi was all wide-eyed, along with the other genin, their jounin teachers, the proctors and, sadly, Sandaime Hokage.

"The weights, Lee…" Gai said, "I meant the weights…"

Meanwhile, down in the battle area, our Sand genin was on the floor, covering his eyes while screaming in bloody agony

"AAAAHHHH!!!!!! MY EYEES!!!!! TEMARI!!!! KANKURO!!! BAKI!!!! JESUS!!!!…Wait a second, I'm not Catholic………AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! FOR THE LOVE AND SAKE OF SHUKAKU'S SANITY, MAKE IT STOP!!!!!"

Inside Gaara's head, Shukaku had the same reaction.

"AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY DEMON EYES!!!!!! They……BUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRNNNNNN!!!!!!!"

Up in the balcony area, Naruto and Kyuubi were reacting in a way very similar to Gaara and Shukaku's reaction. Sakura was foaming at the mouth, Kakashi looked away, repeatedly telling himself that he was in his 'happy place,' Hinata and Tenten fainted, Neji and Shino were twitching madly, Kiba was trying to claw his eyes out, Temari and Kankuro were hiding behind Baki, closing their eyes deathly tight, and the jounin teachers were in shock and near faint.

"Um…" Hayate was pretty much scarred for his life, but he still had to announce the winner, "Well…since Gaara is pretty much out of it…By default, I guess Lee wins…Now…um…Can you please put your pants back on?"

Owari

Okay, that was retarded. But my friend kept on telling me to post this, so I did so she would stop bothering me about it. Yeah…Please, just press the back button now if you hate it that much.