Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
A/N: So here, it is… the last chapter. I love all who has reviewed, but I will love you even more if you would do me the honor one last time.
Sweet Beginnings and Bitter Endings
Lily's Point of View
James has just left the common room, following Sirius who stormed out only moments before. Remus glances at Summer, then me with a bewildered expression and I gesture for him to go as well. I hear the sound of the portrait closing after him and I turn my attention to Summer who is sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees and her head resting on them.
I'm not sure what to say so I get up, walk over and sit down beside her. She rests her head on my shoulder. "I'm so happy that you're getting married Lily. Tell me about James' proposal." She says.
I can't believe this girl. She's just announced she's going to Paris after school causing her boyfriend to have a screaming fit and then storm out of the room and all she wants to talk about is my boyfriend's proposal.
"Summer, aren't we going to talk about what just happened?"
My question earns a sigh and a small nod. "I guess. What's there really to talk about? I'm going to Paris, so Sirius will miss me a little."'
"Don't be stupid. He's going to miss you so much it's going to hurt. Can't you see he's totally lost in you?" my voice is annoyed, I can hear it. It's not just Sirius she's leaving behind. Feeling her sob against my shoulder, I place my arm around her and wait for her to speak.
"I know. Honestly, why though, Lil? We haven't even been happy these last two months."
"Why is that? What started all this?" I have to satisfy my own curiosity if I'm going to help her.
"Remember how I was acting strange before Dumbledore told me about my parents?" I nod and she goes on, "Well, I thought I was pregnant."
Shocked I gasp and point at her stomach whispering, "Are you?"
Slowly she raises her head from my shoulder to shakes it. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath. "But if you had been…" I don't finish my sentence. There are tears in her eyes, again.
"I wouldn't have kept it." She shakes her head in frustration. "He was angry that I didn't tell him…" a loud sob escapes her lips. "That I wasn't ever planning on telling him."
I rub her arm a little. "Don't you think he deserved to know?"
Her crying increases and it makes me a little uncomfortable. I haven't ever really seen her cry. It's like seeing a parent cry. "But what if he'd been happy about a baby, Lil? What then? How would I be able to tell him I was going to… kill it?" She asks and I gasp at her choice of word. It's so harsh. I shake my head to tell her I don't know, before resting my head on hers. I feel myself miss James in a desperate, aching way that I can't recall ever having felt before.
After a moment of silent sobbing Summer tells me, she's going to bed. I want to talk some more with her about everything. I think I'm too tired tonight so I tell her to sleep tight and that I'll stay here and wait for James.
When I'm left alone in the common room, I sit and stare into the fire. I can always fix everything. Everything. Except her.
Remus' Point of View
From down the hall I can hear chairs being knocked over and rushed voices in an open classroom. Obviously, that is where Sirius and James are. I walk in silently. Sirius' eyes are red, but it doesn't look like he's been crying. Not yet, anyway.
"What did I do?" he yells throwing another chair against the wall, it shatters and little pieces of wood fly across the room. He is going to wake some one, but I don't have the heart to tell him to quiet down. He needs to let this out; he just needs to cry.
"Nothing, Padfoot. This isn't your fault. Come on mate, she hasn't even said this is a forever thing. She'll come back." James dares to moves closer and pats Sirius shoulder.
"No…" he shakes he head fiercely. "She won't. She's running from something. I know it. There was something she couldn't tell me earlier and…" his voice cracks but he ignores it and continues, "and she said that she would break my heart. Guess she was right." He adds with a bitter chuckle.
"Maybe she's not running from something, maybe she's looking…" I suggest lost in my own thoughts. Summer talking about Paris reminds me of something, if only I knew what it is.
"Like what? Berets?" James wonders aloud, earning him a not so friendly smack from Sirius.
Suddenly, Sirius' angry expression morphs into one of realization. "You know what… I think you're right!"
"She is looking for berets?" James asks shocked.
Sirius frowns. "I was talking to Moony, prat." James just shrugs.
"Back to the point," I interrupt them. "I'm right? Then what is she looking for?"
"Her family…" Sirius answers slowly. "Of course! She mentioned once that her dad and sister had moved to Paris."
"You need to let her go then." James says wisely and I nod to agree. Sirius looks miserable.
"Maybe I could go with her?"
"She would've asked you to if that's what she wanted. No, I think James is right, you need to let her go and you need to let her go alone." I try to keep my voice soft, but Sirius looks, if possible, even more miserable. At least he's stopped breaking things. Now, he's just sitting quietly on a table with his head in his hands.
No longer forced to play the strong one for Sirius I feel the sadness over Summer leaving creep inside. If Sirius had not looked up in this moment and started to speak, tears would've fallen. His eyes shine from unshed tears, as well, as he says, "You're right. I'm going to let her go. Isn't that love? If you care for someone so much you're willing to be without the person if that's what it takes to make that person happy?"
Who would've ever thought Sirius would speak such true words. Both James and I nod. Finally, Sirius cries. It's silent and he pushes my hand away when I try to rub his shoulder comfortingly.
After a couple of minutes James jumps off the table he's been sitting on to lead Sirius back to the common room. Sirius shakes his head and says he'd rather go to the lake for a while. We shrug and let him go. What else can we do?
"Want to go back to the common room?" James asks, but I shake my head. He walks back alone. When I hear the door close behind him, I cry too. Maybe that's when everyone does most of their crying. When they're alone.
James Point of View
I step into the common room and my head is filled with so many thoughts I wish I had a Pensieve to get rid of them.
My heart leaps with joy as I see Lily sitting quietly, starring into the fire, and waiting for me. She is better than a Pensieve, anyway.
She doesn't notice me until I stand right behind her and whisper, "Hi" while resting my hands on her shoulders. The fire is making her skin glow, her greeting smile is soft, and I can see a single tear making its way down her cheek, settling at the corner of her mouth. I sit down besides her and trace the path of the tear with small kisses. Finally, I kiss it away and she bends her head forward resting it against my shoulder.
"How are you?" I whisper in her red hair.
She waits a moment before whispering, "I love you." Soon one of her hands are resting on my neck, caressing it, the other is in my hair and my lips are on hers. Her tongue is enough to make me forget all the thoughts that earlier frustrated me. I let my hands explore her body. She moves her mouth to my ear and I whine at the loss of contact. Her words however put an end to my wordless begging. "I want you James. Now, I want you to be mine." I lead her out of the common room and before the night is over, she makes me feel complete.
0o0
2 weeks later.
0o0
It's my last night at Hogwarts. I am spending it on a blanket outside with Lily, looking at the stars, talking about N.E.W.T's and everything else that's happened the last two weeks.
"So is Summer giving away anything about her and Sirius?" I ask Lily while playing with her hair.
"No, not really. Except she says he stubbornly insists on them being a couple. I think deep down she's happy about it. Though, she wishes she didn't have to hurt him."
"Yeah… but has she mentioned why she's going? Neither Sirius nor Remus could get it out of her. I feel like I'm wasting my time trying." It's still a mystery as to why Summer is leaving, and it's been causing some awkward silences when we're all together.
"No she never talks about it, but I think you guys are right; it must have something to do with her family. She said she'd talk to Dumbledore about something very important tonight, though." I wrap my arms around Lily as she stops talking. "Can you believe we'll be living together soon? And we'll be married!" I smile with my mouth against her forehead.
"Not really." She chuckles and ruffles my hair. "When did you begin to act so grown-up?" she asks jokingly.
"When you started loving me." I pull her even closer and wonder if I can ever feel happier than I do right now.
Summer's Point of View
Dumbledore's office is well-known to me by now and I immediately sit down in the chair he's always offered me when I've been here before saying, "Sir, I need to speak with you. It is important."
His brows frown above his twinkling, ice blue eyes. "Of course, Summer, go ahead. May I offer you a lemon drop first?"
I decline. He pops one in his own mouth, however, smiling slightly. "It's about… the hiding. Sir, please, I can't do it. I can't leave my friends, they'll be devastated and so will I." I hear the weak pleading tone in my voice and hate myself for it. There's no way for me to hide it. "Let me stay here. Let me fight Voldemort. It is what I want."
The twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes disappears and it disturbs me. "I can't Summer. Your parents wanted this for you and it's the safest. Besides… you chose Paris for a reason, didn't you?" he asks. I gasp in surprise and try to find breath to ask my question, but he's ahead of me. "No need to ask how I know. A true magician never reveals his secrets." I nod, but still wonder.
"Yes there is another reason… but still… what about my happiness?" I ask him. He suddenly looks like a very old man to me.
"I wish I'd never have to say this to someone so young, but… not everyone gets a happy ending, Summer. I suspect you already know this." His voice filled with regret.
I bend my head to hide the tears that are threatening to fall. "I know sir, but… he deserves his." I don't have to mention a name; he knows to whom I am referring.
"He can still get it. You will come back one day, so tell him that. To have something to believe in is very powerful in these times." I nod and stand up. There's nothing more to say or do.
"Goodnight, sir." I say softly heading to the door.
His words are whispered, "Goodbye Summer… I believe in you."
Sirius Point of View
I can't believe this. My last day of Hogwarts and I'm alone. Lily and James are stargazing, and Remus is meeting up with Chel somewhere in the castle. I want to be with Summer, but she said she had something important to discuss with Dumbledore. So here I am, all alone in the boys dorm just going through the many memories I have from my seven years at Hogwarts.
I can hear chatter from the common room and part of me envy the students that gets to come back next year. My eyes fall upon our trunks already packed and locked up, leading my thoughts to tomorrow where Summer will be leaving me. It hurts…
Then I hear soft footsteps on the stairs and I pray they belong to Summer. Soon after my prayers are heard as, she quietly enters the boys' dorm.
"Hey, Sirius." It sounds like she's about to cry, but the room is dark so I can't see her face. "What are you doing?" she continues.
"Just going through some memories, you know." I answer while lying down on my bed.
"Yeah, it's sad that we're leaving." She nods and moves closer so I can see her, it seems like she's in another world.
"It's sad you're leaving." I can't stop myself from saying it. The pain that flashes through her eyes makes me wish I had tried harder.
"Sirius," she sits down besides me on the bed and holds my hands. "You know I wouldn't leave unless I had to, right?" Tears slowly begin to trail down her cheeks.
I brush them away. "I know, but why won't you tell me why you have to go or when you're coming back?"
"I can't." She rests her head on my shoulder and I rub her back to comfort her, even though she's smashing my already broken heart into even smaller pieces. If only I knew how to stop this pain.
Her mouth suddenly makes contact with my skin and I make a surprised growl. "Be mine tonight." She begs moving her mouth higher.
My fingers fondle first with the sleeve of her t-shirt and then a lock of her hair. "Do you think it's a good idea?"
"Mhm." She murmurs it against my mouth. "Just be mine this last night?" We should talk about tomorrow, but I wrap my arms around her waist as I lower us to the bed in one movement. I'll be hers tonight and forever.
0o0
Summer's Point of View
Out of the corner of my eye, I watch Remus and Chel say goodbye in King's Cross. A long kiss followed by several 'goodbyes', a few short kisses, smiles and they don't break apart until Chel sees her parents. I wave and offer her a smile as she leaves.
This is it. The moment I've been dreading for so long. This is goodbye.
I turn my attention back to my friends. Lily is already crying, but James' arms are around her. I know he'll take good care of her now that I'm not here to do it. She'll be happy with him. Remus' eyes are bright, but he isn't crying. I don't even dare to look at Sirius. Not before, I have to.
I have to go soon to meet the Order member that will be escorting me to Paris, so I walk over to James and pull him close to me. "Make her happy." I whisper to him and he sniffs and nods.
"Be happy too." He says. I don't answer, but hold the sobbing Lily close to my body instead, offering her my comfort one last time.
"Don't cry, Lil. You have so many good things to come." I tell her, but now I cry myself. After a moment, James gently pulls her back into his arms and soon my head is resting on Remus' shoulder.
"I hope you find what you're looking for." He says before me; I can't get a word out because of my tears. I reply with a nod and he kisses my hair before pulling away a little to look at me.
"I hope you'll get all the great things you deserve." I tell him. I don't want him to let go of me, because I want to postpone the moment I have to face Sirius.
Nevertheless, Remus eventually stops stroking my arms, and I turn to Sirius who avoids my eyes. Give him something to believe in. I repeat Dumbledore's words to myself and say, "I will be back." to Sirius. My eyes are on the ground between our feet and my arms are hanging down my side. He doesn't answer, but maybe he nodded. We stand like this for no more than a few seconds before I fiercely pull him to me and try to hide from the world by burying my head at his shoulder.
"I love you." It's whispered between soft kisses in my hair.
"I love you too." I manage to say between my sobs. I hope he believes me.
The moment when I am forced to turn my back to my friends is the hardest moment of my life, but I manage a smile. They all have the possibility of a happy ending, and maybe I do too…
A/N: The end. I'm so totally sad right now! I do hope that everybody has enjoyed my story though and that you liked this ending. I want to thank my awesome beta totallymindless and all who has reviewed! Please review one last time.
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